We are who we are

[Kate Simmons]

Sometimes we seem to want to be more than we are when it comes to CDing. I guess it would depend a lot on what we are actually trying to accomplish especially with respect to dressing fully en femme and going out in public. Despite how we may want to purvey that image we are well aware of who we are underneath after all. My awareness is that I'm a man dressing as a woman when I'm out there mingling.I certainly don't magically become a woman. My purpose isn't to deceive or fool anyone but simply to be myself and get that simple feeling of being able to do so even if the experience may be somewhat limited sometimes. It's really kind of hard to explain to others unless you do it for part of your living as many of us do.

Knowing who I am and what I do, I can be satisfied with that and really don't have to prove anything to anyone else. We all have our own "standards of excellence" when we dress and if that works for us, so be it despite "superfine" people trying to tell us we are not "doing it right." I'm not worried about dressing perfection by any means and I accept everyone else for who they are as that is who I can relate and appreciate and my one and only rule for friendship is to just always be yourself. The rest of it is all just "fluff" really and the bottom line is that we are who we are. Becoming real, no matter what we do is the important thing. :)

[CarlaWestin]

So right on, Kate. When I dress, I'm just deriving pleasure and fulfillment by experiencing feminine things. The silkiness of finer clothing, the presence of breasts, the change in posture alignment from elevated heels. It's so nice when the sensory feedback is elegant instead of the usual maleness. And male or female or somewhere in between, I'm always just me being comfortable with me. The other day my wife asked me, "what's up with the boobs?" I replied, "this just feels right!"

[Kate Simmons]

I know the feeling Carla, I'm not usually into cleavage but sometimes it's nice to do. Like my avatar today (Barbara) who is actually 72 now believe it or not. She was one of my femme ideals when she starred in the first night time soap in the 1960's.:battingeyelashes::)

[Teresa]

Kate I have to agree with you, what you're are saying is you don't go out to pass and satisfy other people, you accept yourself for what you are, you're comfortable with that, if you accept that others will as well !

[CherylFlint]

Good question. Each of us has our own complicated reasons for dressing, but there is, however, an underlying commonality that we share: we are women and desperately want to be seen as the women we really are.
However, some of us are driven more than others; some of us have no interest in “passing”, for example. Others go out in public with nary a care about “passing”.
Me? When I dress I do my very best to “pass”. Want to test yourself? Go to the women’s section of a department store, or a lingerie store, and if the saleslady comes up to you and asks, “How may I help you, Miss?”, and mean it, that’s when you’ve arrived.
Furthermore, I dress as a women because I want to attract men, just as any normal women does. I dress for the time of day and the place. The grocery store is usually slacks, maybe jeans, with maybe a sweatshirt. A night out may be a short skirt and sheer blouse. I’m all women when I dress, and there’s no “deception”.
Not all women want to have babies and be a stay-at-home-mom.
To get the attention of men is, for me, fun and rewarding.

[mechamoose]

I will never pass, but it isn't about that. I just feel *better* in girly things.

- MM

[Sarah Doepner]

When I dress at home I do have different standards than when I go out. I'll go without a wig and/or makeup and/or all the padding at home but I try to do everything possible to create the illusion of a woman when I leave the house. That must mean I have a different or added goal when I go out the door. I've started to believe that while I know I don't pass under much scrutiny, I can be ignored long enough to pass by and maybe get around the corner or into the next doorway. I want to avoid any chance for negativity or embarrassment, if possible. And if someone is kind enough to treat me as the gender I'm presenting, so much the better. Does it convince me that I've fooled them? Not really, but it is a compliment on the effort I've made none the less. And if I'm going to get any kind of attention, that is so much better than the being clocked as a guy in a dress.

[bridget thronton]

I am not looking for a hookup when I dress shopping so not sure any deception is involved. I am just trying to me me.

[LelaK]

my one and only rule for friendship is to just always be yourself ... Unless you're a sociopath or psychopath. Then be better than your usual self. Be an angel and Improve yourself!

[Lucy Lou]

Good points made by all. I know I will never really pass as a woman but I do love dressing up as a woman. Over the years it has got better. I started with just underwear and stockings. It took a long time to get into doing the whole thing, i.e. make up, nails, perfume, dresses, shoes, jewelry. But now I have been doing this for a few years and am really used to it. I know that it is a part of me that has to express itself and, I have to say honestly, I look forward to the times when I can go for the whole thing, as I can tonight.

I am just about to start preparing to shave my whole body and I have a few new things to wear and some new dark red lipstick. All day I have been looking forward to tonight, which says a lot as to how much I need to be 'en femme'.
Being what you are is important and we dress because we have to and that's that.
I do think also that women have such loverly things to wear and men have very little choice. Women are lucky having all that stuff to put on, cloths, makeup, shoes, perfume, jewelry, and the fact that I can do the same is wonderful. I am not hurting anybody and am getting immense pleasure dressing.

Lucy Lou xx:)

[kimdl93]

Certainly, I have no illusions about passing. I also know there is no magical transformation occurring when I am dressed. But in a sense, I am what I am not. I'm not biologically female, outwardly at least. In terms of other biological markers, maybe it's a bit more ambiguous. But I feel internally and externally synchronized when I present as a woman. How others view me is irrelevant to
How I feel about myself.

[mechamoose]

kimd,l, I have to disagree here.

You say "I am what I am not"

I say, you are what you are. If that doesn't line up with our society's expectations, ok.. but that doesn't change who you are and how you identify.

You are a facet/segment/avatar of the divine. You are an 'uncommon being'. That doesn't mean you are wrong or 'tainted'.


But I feel internally and externally synchronized when I present as a woman.

Then stick with that. To H3ll with the rest.

<3

- MM

[Kate Simmons]

One thing I've found curious on the Forum is that there are a handful of folks here who constantly assert they are women but only ever post in this section saying it doesn't apply to them. Like I said I accept everyone for who they are and they don't have to prove anything to me. Just a bit odd that's all.:)