Late night musings...

[Eringirl]

My apologies if this sounds somewhat self centered or egotistical, but...

Earlier today I was looking at the photo I currently use as my avatar, (which looks a bit better for some reason on my big *ss monitor ;) ) when I caught myself saying something out loud. "There's a person I would want to get to know better"

I have never, ever, ever, in my 55 years on this earth said that about any previous picture of my male self. Never. So, this evening, i took another look. What I saw, looking back at me was a person who was happy. Happy, and confident, and content. Someone who has something to contribute. This was me! The me that now includes Erin. For years, like others here, I battled with depression, and low self esteem. But I managed to still create a pretty good life. Wonderful wife, who, for some reason that to this day (30 years, this weekend) I still don't know why she married me, - and 2 outstanding kids, strong, independent women in their own right.

Now, I feel like I have arrived. I am home. Complete. I am no longer that grumpy, frustrated and sometimes angry person that my wife put up with these past few years. I didn't want to be that way anymore and I don't know how my wife did it. But, finally Erin broke through. It was like she was pounding on the door wanting to help, begging to help. And when I finally opened the door to let her in, help she did.

While I have only been here a short time, I cherish the help I have received, the laughs, and friends I have already made. We are sisters, one and all. Thank you.

That's it. That's all. My late evening musings.....

Good night to you all.

Hugs,

Erin

[Sara Jessica]

"There's a person I would want to get to know better"

Reminded me of something really momentous in my own life. A number of years ago, it's kind of a blur, I was strolling through a Macy's in San Diego and a woman behind the Prescriptives counter roped me in. Long story shorter, we became friends. True friends. I consider her one of my best friends and I believe she thinks the same of me. Several in these pages have gotten to know her and she adores each and every one of our tribe she has met.

So one day not so long ago we were talking. I asked her if she knew I was trans when she flagged me down. She replied, "oh yeah, I knew". So I asked her why she did so and her reply was almost verbatim...

"There's a person I would want to get to know better."

So to take your post literally, I would agree. You are a person that I'd want to get to know better.

Why is that?

I have found that like minds tend to gravitate towards one another. Family, career, trans...the trans alone is not enough to sustain a friendship. But when the other stuff is thrown in the mix, we have the makings of friendships just like any other women in this world.

Friendships are the things dreams are made of when it comes to fulfillment when venturing outside of one's comfort zone. Flying solo gets old. Friends that you can depend on are priceless. Ones who will listen to you and tell you things you want to listen to. Friends who will allow you to cry on their shoulder and vice-versa.

Priceless.

About the closest I get to Canada is Diva Las Vegas. See you next March ;)!!!

[Kris Avery]

My SO has felt that she has FINALLY got to meet the real me after years of marriage.
Her opinion is that her girlfriend is way happier than her old depressed husband.

[bridget thronton]

Probably true feelings really many of us

[LelaK]

I want to get to know both of you better: the grumpy husband and the girl he became.

Everyone is a person I want to get to know better.

[Suzanne F]

Erin
I loved your post. I applaud your break through! I also have a wonderful supportive wife.
Suzanne

[Katey888]

Great sentiments and musings Erin - glad to hear that you're feelings are positive about yourself. :)

I do believe that helps reassure others here who struggle with self-acceptance, and I also know what you mean... The more I explore this side of me, the more I want to have more to explore and express.

Good thoughts to start the weekend! :D

Katey x

[ClosetED]

I love the post as well, but for me, when Ellen came knocking, wife has decided she can't live in same house as her, even if never seen or even exist on rare occasions. 25 years, but not 26.
Ellen