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transbetty
09-07-2014, 04:45 PM
Hello,

it's 2014 and I think it's time to stop thinking small and get over considering "tranny" being a vulgarism. I'm male to female TV. Lifestyle. Not for fame, not for money. Because it's simply me. So I'm not an outsider.

I often get emails on projects / articles/ sites I run "Why do you use term tranny? It's offensive."

My reply is usual:

"By sheer intention. It's a term used more and more as descriptive term for a CD/TV/TS person. While some people perceive this as an insult, even saying chick can be offensive yet no women are protesting. Get over it. Please. It's 2014 and world is changing. If we try to be politically correct we will end up calling us Homo sapiens trensgener"

Of course I understand that TS ladies, pre or post, think differently... but this is not the issue. If someone really understands, he would't use "tranny" with TS ladies. But even if he does... is it an offense? Aren't we creating fences and " narrow-minded definitions where they don't need to be?

Tell me your opinion. But please don't get offended, this is a discussion. I think if world should accept us we should also accept the world. Being stubborn doesn't help anyone.

devida
09-07-2014, 04:52 PM
I like calling myself a tranny. I'd like close trans friends calling me that if it was affectionate. I would probably dislike it from anyone who was not LGBT. And from a stranger I would certainly consider an insult, which it would surely be. It's all in the motive and the propinquity.

Candice Mae
09-07-2014, 05:06 PM
TV = CD (depends on location and other societal measures...)

I don't like the word because of it being a slang term which usually is negative or demeaning. Call me a TS, I find nothing wrong with that as it is a commonly accepted term.

Debi
09-07-2014, 05:15 PM
I have never had a problem with the term 'Tranny' although I think it has different connotations in different parts of the world.
I am a tranny and proud
x

transbetty
09-07-2014, 05:16 PM
Well I admit it surely depends on context, situation, social settings, etc.

But in general, how it works in our mind: any word has got a connotation. Which is inherited by society and /or experience.

What I'm saying we maybe should change the way we think about it. Being called "transgender person" annoys me more than "tranny"

JohnH
09-07-2014, 05:17 PM
I think it would be far better if men could freely wear dresses, skirts, heels, and makeup without being made to feel as if they were "different". Certainly if a woman can have short hair, no makeup, and wear a flannel shirt with jeans and hiking boots without raising an eyebrow then a man should have the option of wearing a dress, heels, and makeup simply because he wants to without causing any kind of negative reaction. Then there would be no need for the term "tranny" at all.

Johanna Anna (John)

transbetty
09-07-2014, 05:24 PM
That's a VERY good point. But we are not there yet :(

BLUE ORCHID
09-07-2014, 05:30 PM
Hi Betty, I think that Tranny is a term best left to the Automotive Industry !:daydreaming:

transbetty
09-07-2014, 05:35 PM
OK people. So what should be a lang, spoken term ?

"Transgendered person" is not going to make it. Not because people don't want to be "correct" but because they are lazy. It needs to be short and easy to pronounce.

JessicaJHall
09-07-2014, 05:41 PM
In my world, a "Tranny" is a transistor.. a semiconductor device, not to be confused with a "trans sister" from the old (but gawdawful) joke about the nun who.......

Katey888
09-07-2014, 05:58 PM
Numero uno: This is never a word I expected to see used here:


It's all in the motive and the propinquity.

So Devida definitely gets 'Literati of the Weekend' award from me... :cheer:


OK people. So what should be a lang, spoken term ?

"Transgendered person" is not going to make it.

Hmmm - 'Transgendered Person' - accurate.... but perhaps shorter... TP....? :thinking: TeePee.... :)

That sounds quite 'ethnic' and environmentally friendly... Very trendy... Perhaps we can all be TeePees...? :facepalm:

But actually I prefer 'Martini Girl'... or MG is just as good... and accurate.... Why? :battingeyelashes:

Because an MG is British (or was), classic (or was!), and may be considered slight and underpowered compared with some Italian models... (Ms Moretti - please take note...:)) - but we're economical, easy to work on.... :eek: and handle really well down quiet English country lanes... ;)

Now please don't make me be serious and let me get back to my REAL martini.... Cheerio! Katey x

transbetty
09-07-2014, 06:07 PM
Katey , I'm all for "Martini girl" but this one will take ages to go through :)

Kimberly Kael
09-07-2014, 06:08 PM
... even saying chick can be offensive yet no women are protesting.

If you don't think any women are offended and quite willing to protest being called "chicks" then you're getting a rather limited perspective. It's not exactly a world-class insult, but it is somewhat dismissive. Many of the same women object to the term "girls" referring to mature women as well, and while I'm not nearly as sensitive I do understand where they're coming from.


Get over it. Please. It's 2014 and world is changing.

No, you get over it.

See how compelling an argument that is? Expressing your opinion and suggesting to others you're sick of hearing theirs isn't likely to lead to meaningful change. I'm all for real exchanges of ideas, but that requires listening and trying to understand opposing viewpoints. Sure, some of it comes down to whether or not we agree that language is an effective agent for change. In practice, I think a lot of what happens is that terminology becomes a shorthand for identifying who hasn't been reached by education regarding the issues that affect a part of the population. The words themselves aren't hurtful, but the attitudes they represent certainly can be, so people change their language to show respect for the process of becoming a more understanding, diverse society. It's all too easy for people to assume that if the word tranny is still fair game, then the attitudes that have gone with it historically are still okay, too.

I am irked by part-timers advocating for the use of terminology that has been used to degrade the entire trans community, because it's something a weekend crossdresser can just walk away from. They don't have to deal with day-to-day discrimination every day of their lives, in housing or at their job, so they don't pay the same kind of price transitioners, particularly non-passable transitioners, have to deal with.

Eryn
09-07-2014, 06:19 PM
I'm opposed to words that are perfectly OK when used within a community but considered offensive when used by an outsider. It makes the community look shallow and hypocritical. I have no problem with the word "tranny" but I realize that others have chosen to take offense with it. I'm not fond of "crossdresser" either as it seems to trivialize something that has deep meaning to most of us. I refer to myself as "Transgender" and "TG" is a perfectly good way of shortening the word, though the syllable count remains the same, as it does with "tranny."


I am irked by part-timers...

And I am irked by those who think that their opinion is more valid that that of the people they derisively call "part-timers."

Part-timers fight the same demons as the full-timers with the added need to occasionally take on masculine roles in order to maintain our marriages, families, careers, and other commitments.

Sara Jessica
09-07-2014, 06:48 PM
Of course I understand that TS ladies, pre or post, think differently... but this is not the issue. If someone really understands, he would't use "tranny" with TS ladies. But even if he does... is it an offense?

Yes, 100% USDA Choice offensive.


I am irked by part-timers advocating for the use of terminology that has been used to degrade the entire trans community, because it's something a weekend crossdresser can just walk away from. They don't have to deal with day-to-day discrimination every day of their lives, in housing or at their job, so they don't pay the same kind of price transitioners, particularly non-passable transitioners, have to deal with.

Exactly. The Muggles generally don't have the faculties to know what species of trans they observe in the wild. The same Muggle who is inclined to use the offensive term "tranny" isn't about to differentiate between the part-timer & the full-time transitioning woman. Not only are we not wearing labels to tell the difference, they don't particularly care if they are inclined to go down the tranny road in the first place.

Kimberly's point is well taken and is an example of why those of us who are part-time should take care in public situations to reflect as positively on our community as can be. I've been accused of being everything in the spectrum, a part-timer to a full-time TS by unsuspecting Muggles which has reinforced my resolve to be the best I can be for those who might follow in my wake who don't have the luxury to take it all off when the going gets tough.

CherylFlint
09-07-2014, 07:34 PM
If I had to describe myself, I'd say that I'm a transvestite.
Second, I'd say that I'm a CD.
I wouldn't use the word "tranny", but that's just me.
I've nothing against the word, except that it it's like calling a Porsche 911 Twin-Turbo just a "car".

Eryn
09-07-2014, 07:42 PM
Exactly. The Muggles generally don't have the faculties to know what species of trans they observe in the wild.

Could you please clarify your statement? By "Muggle" are you referring to someone completely outside the TG community, or is your goal to denigrate the "part timer" portion of our community as Kimberly did?

Rhonda Darling
09-07-2014, 07:51 PM
Katy, I almost fell off my chair and almost spilled my wine over your MG quips. You forgot that they're almost always green, and need a lot of tinkering to keep keep going. Once warmed up, however they purrrrrrrrrrr!

Now, what was the OP TOPIC ?????

Rhonda

Badtranny
09-07-2014, 08:03 PM
Well, I think I'm on record as not being offended by the word. In fact, I was banned from the HuffPost for taking on the Malloy crowd a while back. Which is kind of funny because they were saying much more awful things to me then I was to them, but que sera, all's fair in love and political correctness I suppose.

My position is simple, if being called a tranny is the worst thing that happens to you today, then count your blessings.

Kimberly Kael
09-07-2014, 08:24 PM
Could you please clarify your statement? By "Muggle" are you referring to someone completely outside the TG community

That's definitely how I read it.


... or is your goal to denigrate the "part timer" portion of our community as Kimberly did?

Could you kindly point out where I denigrated a community I'm very fond of? If you'd prefer a different term to distinguish between those who live their lives 24/7 as a gender opposite what they were assigned at birth, and those who do so less often I'd happily listen to your concerns with my terminology. Aside from that, I made a pretty clear qualification about what exactly bothered me. And if you're stating that I shouldn't be allowed to find something irksome? Well, I don't know where to begin with that.

Generally speaking, if you need to edit a quote to remove all relevant context to take offense then you're reaching for something that isn't there.

Kate Simmons
09-07-2014, 08:48 PM
Back in the old days we were all transvestites. I never even heard the term crossdresser until 15 or so years ago. I guess the "upper crust" got involved?

JohnH
09-07-2014, 09:10 PM
If you think about it, transvestite and crossdresser means exactly the same thing. Trans means Cross, and vestments means clothing or the "dress" you wear.

Johanna Anna

JayeLefaye
09-07-2014, 09:12 PM
Could you please clarify your statement? By "Muggle" are you referring to someone completely outside the TG community, or is your goal to denigrate the "part timer" portion of our community as Kimberly did?

A Muggle, if I read Katey888 correctly, as she often uses the term, is simply a harmless reference to those who are not wizards, or in this case, those "outside of our community". I find the term rather endearing.

Jaye

Tracii G
09-07-2014, 09:18 PM
Just a term people use and we can't stop them from using it.
The thing is to not let it bother you and go on your way.

Rogina B
09-07-2014, 09:24 PM
TG is a far better"label" in my opinion. Tranny is and sounds slangish...

CarlaWestin
09-07-2014, 09:24 PM
I've never cared for the terms 'gay' or 'queer' but, the community has transformed them to symbolize pride.
Personally, I'm only offended by context and intention.
Funny, I just enjoyed the stage performance of Kinky Boots.
Of all the gender twisting terminology used, the one I seem to like the best is Nancyboy.
Go figure. :-)

suchacutie
09-07-2014, 09:26 PM
Any word with many syllables will be shortened in common usage. Transgendered is bound to be susceptible. I have never minded the shorter version being discussed here, and can think of many. worse things Tina could be called. Tina has never felt the use of the word tranny in relation to her was pejorative.

Adriana Moretti
09-07-2014, 09:39 PM
A friend of mine uses Google Analytics for her blog to research keywords people use and amazingly the word transvestite was more popular of a search word than crossdresser (nerd alert) ...my assumption ( just a guess) is the people searching with this keyword are actually clueless and looking for a starting point.

Personally,..I think the term tranny just sounds like something out of Rocky Horror but I dont really care either way , it has no effect on my life...I dont need anymore labels except maybe Calvin Klein, Guess etc......

LelaK
09-07-2014, 11:21 PM
I'm okay with the terms Tranny, She-male, LadyBoy etc. I like porn, when it's not gross, and those are my favorite porn terms.

Lorileah
09-07-2014, 11:34 PM
OK people. So what should be a lang, spoken term ?

"Transgendered person" is not going to make it. Not because people don't want to be "correct" but because they are lazy. It needs to be short and easy to pronounce.

This is really a questionable thing to ask. You have to look at it from the perspective of the person being described. There are a lot of words, which people who are not in the group, think are OK to say. You don't use those terms especially around that group. "Tranny" is often used by non-TGs as a way to put down a person who is presenting as a non-same gender.

You want something short and easy? How about "person" seems simple enough...interchangeable in every instance that "tranny" can be used, not and insult. How about we take the time to NOT say "let's use this word" and use that same time for just accepting everyone for who they are and not having to label them? Especially with a word that can be hurtful or mean.

cindychan
09-07-2014, 11:36 PM
I've preferred CD and trans over the years. Tranny and transvestite sound trashy.

PaulaQ
09-08-2014, 12:05 AM
I'm okay with the terms Tranny, She-male, LadyBoy etc. I like porn...

How nice for you. I think all of those terms are vile and incredibly offensive to me as a transgender woman.

The problem with porn is it objectifies us, and the industry itself is vile and horrible to the women who work in it. Trust me, you have no idea how badly it can screw a person up to do sex work when it seems to be the only real work they can get. Some women do this work to pay for their transition. Can you imagine the cruelty of women forced to sell their bodies to pay for medical care?

Those terms just serve to reinforce stereotypes that trans women are just sex objects - not even human beings, really. And that's the problem - sure, folks like you may fetishize our anatomical peculiarities - that's nice and stuff, I guess. But telling those who don't like us that we aren't human, and are fair game to injure or kill?

If you want a short term for a transgender person, what's wrong with "trans"?

Or hey - here's a radical idea - just refer to us as what we are - women. (And of course men, for the FTM dudes.)

Lela, the terms you used to describe trans women are words that belong in the categories of hate speech reserved for certain vile and degrading ethnic and religious slurs.

Eryn
09-08-2014, 12:24 AM
Could you kindly point out where I denigrated a community I'm very fond of?...

Let's see, there's the part where you termed us "weekend crossdressers" and the part where you implied that this is something that we "can just walk away from."

I'm a "part timer" and I can't walk away from who I am. GD is just as important and compelling to us as it is to "full-timers" which is a big part of why this forum exists. I may dress only part-time, but I'm TG all the time. In many ways our GD is harder for us to deal with as we can't or won't walk away from the obligations entered into by our male selves. We end up living our lives as best we can on both sides of the divide , and it certainly isn't easy for us.


Generally speaking, if you need to edit a quote to remove all relevant context to take offense then you're reaching for something that isn't there.

If I left the post intact, I'd be chewed out for excessive quoting since your post was directly above mine. I put in enough text to let the reader know to what part of your post I was referring. That's how it is supposed to be done.

Michelle789
09-08-2014, 12:27 AM
Or hey - here's a radical idea - just refer to us as what we are - women. (And of course men, for the FTM dudes.)

Thank you!!! I am a woman, nothing more, nothing less. I'm not a tranny, she male, a shim, ladyboy, or anything else of the like. I would like to be called as any other woman would be. Girl is great too since it reinforces my youth, and I am 23 forever :)

At my very first support group meeting someone there mentioned that the T-word should be treated like the racial slur. We have a long way to go until we get there. Sadly if anyone says the racial slur, even white people will beat you or ostracize you for saying it. But saying the tranny seems to be socially acceptable. I look forward to the day when a cis person will beat you or ostracize you for saying the T-word.

Jennifer in CO
09-08-2014, 12:46 AM
I'm not a "Tranny"...theres nothing shifty about me.....

but I do work well in clutch situations....

janetcgtv
09-08-2014, 01:01 AM
What's the problem. Each of us knows who we are. Some one in society does not tranny is an umbrella term which includes all types. I'm a non-op TS because of health and financial reasons Just because one doesn't have SRS that does not make them a non TS. Until some one gets involved with me they may only think I'm a tranny. Someone else is a cross dresser, until someone knows who they are they can call them a sissy(me as well) . Like someone said people want a simple term in dealing with a group while trying not to insult any one. When people get to know you as an individual they will want to use the terms which directly identify you.
So please don't create a mountain out of a mole hill.

It's just not worth it to hurt the feelings of a person who wants to know us.

Take my Mom. When she found my cousins blouse in my closet . She said "that if I was born a girl , she would have named me Penelope".

However my friends would have just called me Penny

Shelly Preston
09-08-2014, 04:02 AM
A lot of the trouble stems from how words are used. I know someone who described themselves as a "token tranny" for particular circumstances.

I don't like it due to the way the media use it as a derogatory term which has the affect of putting down the whole community.
A person could be the best at their job but because a particular newspaper does not like it the will demean the person by using the word tranny.

For those of you who are are a little older the will remember when "Gay" was a word to describe fun and happy and not used for sexuality.

So really its all about the context in which the word is used.

Marcelle
09-08-2014, 04:27 AM
I am not a big label gal as many know and I can never understand why it is important to be known as anything but a "person". However I do get that for some definition of who we (the TG community writ large) is important. I can also understand how the term can be offensive to our TS sisters and brothers who want to known as the gender they wish to be (man / woman). My opinion on this . . . I was called a Tranny by a passing truck of dudes one day while out and about . . . did it bother me? Yes, but more so that it brought unwanted attention from those around me. But for me it is a word . . . believe me I have been called far worse when "en boy". So . . . while some may find it trendy, quirky and fun others will find it offensive, negative and hurtful. I think we can all agree on that :)



. . . I am irked by part-timers advocating for the use of terminology that has been used to degrade the entire trans community, because it's something a weekend crossdresser can just walk away from. They don't have to deal with day-to-day discrimination every day of their lives, in housing or at their job, so they don't pay the same kind of price transitioners, particularly non-passable transitioners, have to deal with.

Hi Kimberly,

I understand your ire over this and get your point as I agree that one group should not run rough shod over another when it comes to trying to gain acceptance in this world. However, as a part-timer I have to wonder about the statement "being a weekend crossdresser and just walking away" . . . nobody part-time, full-time just walks away from this. It is with us all the time as evidenced by the plethora of individuals who quit only to return. In addition, I may only be a part-timer but Isha is part of who I am and I am openly TG in my life, my family, my social life and my work . . . so yes, I do pay the same kind of price as full timers but from a different perspective. I have lost friends, some credibility to do my current job, people giggle behind my back when I am work (en boy). We all fight the good fight in our own ways and every part-timer who goes out in the light of day makes us that much more known to the world as an entire community. :)

Hugs

Isha

Kate Simmons
09-08-2014, 05:31 AM
Call me anything but "late for dinner". Believe me, if you have a thin skin in this "business", you are not going to survive.

katie elouise
09-08-2014, 05:52 AM
Hi I totally agree with eryn there are people out there who would love to be dressed more of the time ,but live life with the compromise of family / children /careers this does not make them any less involved or committed , but maybe a whole lot more frustrated .

mariehart
09-08-2014, 05:59 AM
When I first started dressing in female clothes as a kid I called myself a transvestite because that was the accepted term as in someone who cross dresses. I was a TV. Somehow later crossdresser became the more accepted term but it's noticeable that my spell corrector on this computer underlines that crossdresser as a misspelling. That tells you something in terms of it's recognition outside our walled garden.

Make no mistake, this is an argument in a walled garden. We can argue endlessly about what is and what isn't offensive but ultimately on the other side of the wall out in the real world we are all trannies whether we like it or not. Indignant protestation in what is still our very much a closeted community won't change that.

The gay world took this kind of thing head on and while not eliminating it completely it has lead to greater awareness in the public at large and the media. Yet still people refer to gays as queers and other less than pleasant terms.

Until something similar happens in the CD world. Nothing will change.

As it is I don't find the word tranny offensive. I would find the word pervert offensive though and that is more than likely the term used.

sarahjan
09-08-2014, 06:15 AM
I would agree that the term tranny is often used in a derogatory term as is the world "sissy" which is another term some crossdressers like to use to describe themselves.

I would also agree that the term "transgendered" is to long for many people.

The word I do like from the blog of Stana is Femulate.

PaulaQ
09-08-2014, 07:50 AM
@Isha - you may think you've been called far worse than "tranny", but you really can't understand what those who use that word in anger mean until you've been chased by a group of angry men who mean to beat up the "big old tranny" they've run across.

Or, how about this one? You are new in transition, and desperately in need of medical care your society denies you. You are trying to live your life as a woman, and you overhear the following: "hey, look at that tranny over there! Hey go over and talk to her, I bet you can get into her panties!" Followed by some F'n guy walking over and trying to grope you - as if that's the sure-fire way to get a date with a woman. But of course they've made it abundantly clear that you AREN'T a woman - you're a "tranny."

I hope these little, real-life stories show how and why the term tranny is so hurtful to those of us who transition.

devida
09-08-2014, 08:18 AM
I am a woman, nothing more, nothing less. I'm not a tranny, she male, a shim, ladyboy, or anything else of the like. I would like to be called as any other woman would be. Girl is great too since it reinforces my youth, and I am 23 forever :)



I absolutely agree that we own the odds that describe us and can require that people use those words. So, if you want people to call you a woman you can certainly require that. You might not get full compliance but you would probably get quite a bit. Plus you get the added benefit of people being encouraged to use the proper pronouns.

My problem is that the word woman does not describe me, or people like me, does not describe many cross dressers nor ftm non op, no hormone transgender folk, nor a few other varieties of the transgender population. For general and non controversial use I like the word trans because it is an umbrella term and it can be easily modified as in trans woman, trans man, trans boy, trans girl, or, in my case, trans non binary, trans genderqueer. I do have a problem with trans GQ because it will always sound too well dressed and gentlemanly! Also there is precedent for compounding like this in the word transexual and transvestite.

For a time trans* was popular but I have no idea how you would say it. I'm glad it didn't really catch on. Every time I saw it I thought the asterisk denoted something missing, maybe a bad word?

Isn't trans anyway the word that is mostly used, both as a noun and adjective?

Sara Jessica
09-08-2014, 08:31 AM
Could you please clarify your statement? By "Muggle" are you referring to someone completely outside the TG community, or is your goal to denigrate the "part timer" portion of our community as Kimberly did?

Yes Eryn, the Muggles are the non-wizard types as has been mentioned above. It is a term I've been using for non-TG individuals for as many years as I have been writing on these pages.

As for denigration, I'm not so quick to denigrate myself so I think that is self-explanatory. However, Kimberly didn't even come close to denigrating anyone either. Just as Muggles generally cannot tell the difference between a full time woman in transition or the "weekend crossdresser" who is exploring the outside world, fact of the matter remains that said weekend crossdresser can in fact retreat back to a place where they don't have to face any of the pressures of presenting a 24/7/365 face to that same outside world which can be less than forgiving, assuming one in either camp is in fact read as trans. There is no comparison to detecting a look, a chuckle or a sneer on occasion during an outing to the full-time woman potentially detecting the same things on a constant basis. It gets old, it wears on people, it requires developing some very thick skin which still may be insufficient.

So color me with the part-timer camp. This has nothing to do with many of us part-timers being full-time at heart (dealing with constant GD), that is not the issue. At the end of the day, whether I prefer it this way or not, I put on the guy, retreat to my family and other obligations and none of the trans issues exist to the outside world short of my wife knowing the score. I don't have to worry about being called a tranny by others. I don't have to worry so much about the chuckles behind my back. I go from being an utter minority to being part of a non-oppressed group with a change of clothing and removal of makeup. I am not paying the daily price that Kimberly references. This doesn't minimize the fact that my own GD issues exist, I'm just dealing with them in a different way. But my life experiences are markedly different from those who are full-time and I would never be so bold as to endorse a term that has hateful connotations that my full-time sisters put themselves out to potentially hear on a day to day basis.

Kimberly Kael
09-08-2014, 09:15 AM
Let's see, there's the part where you termed us "weekend crossdressers" ...

I was referring to people who crossdress on weekends, which was something I did for many years. Would you prefer "non-weekday crossdressers?"


... and the part where you implied that this is something that we "can just walk away from."


... as a part-timer I have to wonder about the statement "being a weekend crossdresser and just walking away" . . .

Now I understand the confusion. I certainly didn't mean to suggest that crossdressing is something you can simply abandon altogether. My point was just that most crossdressers pick and choose the times that they present opposite their assigned gender. They can, and do, avoid dressing in a lot of situations that someone who is full-time doesn't have much of a choice about. If your legal identity is still male then you can decide for a court date, or a bank loan application, a meeting with clients, or a parent / teacher meeting to present as male. I'd wager most here that aren't full-time can and do make these kinds of decisions to walk away from being visibly transgender when there'so something of consequence on the line.

I can't. That's why I find it troubling that anyone would push back on what feels like social progress. It affects me in a very real and direct fashion, and I was trying to articulate that as clearly as possible.

Marcelle
09-08-2014, 11:54 AM
@Isha - you may think you've been called far worse than "tranny", but you really can't understand what those who use that word in anger mean until you've been chased by a group of angry men who mean to beat up the "big old tranny" they've run across.

Or, how about this one? You are new in transition, and desperately in need of medical care your society denies you. You are trying to live your life as a woman, and you overhear the following: "hey, look at that tranny over there! Hey go over and talk to her, I bet you can get into her panties!" Followed by some F'n guy walking over and trying to grope you - as if that's the sure-fire way to get a date with a woman. But of course they've made it abundantly clear that you AREN'T a woman - you're a "tranny."

I hope these little, real-life stories show how and why the term tranny is so hurtful to those of us who transition.

Paula,

In my post I went to great lengths to point out I understand how TS guys/gals can find the term offensive . . . I am not naïve in that aspect nor was it meant to indicate you should feel that way. The response was based on my experience with that use of the term . . . that's me and how I see it . . . and yes there was severe danger attached to the things I was called "en boy" . . . different situation which I won't go into.

If I offended I apologize.

Hugs

Isha

Lorileah
09-08-2014, 12:07 PM
I would also agree that the term "transgendered" is to long for many people.


too long? Really? those microseconds are precious? Solution, "TG".

When the "muggles" say it, I can try and let it roll off my back. It is nothing more than ignorance but with education ignorance can be changed. I use "Tranny" when I am being sarcastic. I know there are those of us who think we should "own" it, but that is NOT a solution. When we use it it says to the rest of the world "Hey it ain't so bad". But I would never, ever in my life now use any word for any minority that has racist or genderist undertones. I remember when it was "OK" and now I wonder how much those groups bit their tongue.

Tranny should not be used for any TG person in a public setting. What you think of yourself and how you describe yourself in private is your business. The whole issue of tags and labels here annoys me personally. Why? It isn't like going to Starbucks and ordering a half-caf, lo fat extra cream soy, honey latte with a cherry. We are people, we should be treated like any other person would want to be treated. When we put our own down we are showing the world it is OK to do that all the time.

Michelle colson
09-08-2014, 12:18 PM
Hi Betty, I think that Tranny is a term best left to the Automotive Industry !:daydreaming:

Where I grew up a tranny is a transmission for any automobile.

PaulaQ
09-08-2014, 12:28 PM
Paula,

In my post I went to great lengths to point out I understand how TS guys/gals can find the term offensive . . . I am not naïve in that aspect nor was it meant to indicate you should feel that way. The response was based on my experience with that use of the term . . . that's me and how I see it . . . and yes there was severe danger attached to the things I was called "en boy" . . .


You didn't offend me - but your experience and opinion really are irrelevant. I don't mean to condescend - but in your boy mode life, I presume you aren't in combat all the time. You get to go home, where hopefully the bad guys don't come after you.

We trans women get no such reprieve. There are no safe places for us. I tell every new trans woman who asks me "is this place safe for trans?" that "no place is safe for trans, you just have to accept the risk, and live your life."

So it doesnt really matter that you weren't offended by the term. You really should've been, because believe me, if the wrong group of men decides you are a tranny, they aren't going to cease their attack just because you are a CD. You may be better prepared to defend yourself than the average trans*, but you probably aren't bullet proof en femme.

This really can be life or death stuff.

Marcelle
09-08-2014, 12:35 PM
Paula,

I apologized and again what I said was poorly worded on my part and not meant to offend. BTW I did provide you an example of my experience via PM which had nothing to do with my day job but hate and intolerance of another kind so yes . . . I do understand hate.

sometimes_miss
09-08-2014, 01:10 PM
"Why do you use term tranny? It's offensive."
There's always going to be someone offended by something, even when no offense is intended.

Lexi Moralas
09-08-2014, 01:10 PM
I am indifferent to the term tranny , I always figured it was an abbreviation of sorts like Robert and bobby.
I am fond of the term T- girl myself

PaulaQ
09-08-2014, 01:17 PM
@Isha - sorry for my tone too. We're all good sweetie, you get it. :hugs:

Michelle789
09-08-2014, 01:17 PM
We trans women get no such reprieve. There are no safe places for us. I tell every new trans woman who asks me "is this place safe for trans?" that "no place is safe for trans, you just have to accept the risk, and live your life."


OMG you are soooooo right Paula. No where is safe if you're trans. Not even this forum. Not even your own transgender support group. In fact, the worst discrimination and worst treatment I have received has been from within the trans community.

And it's not just physical safety. When you're trans, you can trust no one. Even other trans people stab each other in the back just to get power, to fit in with cis people, or to otherwise make themselves feel better. And trans people can be very condescending towards each other, as we have seen on another thread in the TS section.

To a certain extent I also say that for women in general, cis or trans, no place is safe for them. Not even your own home when hubby might beat or sexually assault you.



I am fond of the term T- girl myself

Another term I am not so fond of. Really, being T isn't anyone's damn business.

Marcelle
09-08-2014, 01:25 PM
@Isha - sorry for my tone too. We're all good sweetie, you get it. :hugs:

Right back at you sweetie :hugs:

Hugs

Isha

Teresa
09-08-2014, 03:00 PM
Betty'
I'm not sure what term I prefer but I can't say I like tranny ! The problem is in my photography profession we use to call positive images "trannies" My wife used it all the time, but that was before I came out to her !

I guess just calling me Teresa says it all !!! I don't need any other labels after that !!

Wildaboutheels
09-08-2014, 04:25 PM
Do you [you DO] realize I hope that SOME folks here like/want/use/need a label of some kind for themselves...

And other folks DO NOT WANT to be labeled.

Which folks are right?

And which folks are wrong?

Says who?

There are folks right now whose biggest worry is that the Washington Redskins will have to give up/change the team name, [a name they have now used w/o a problem for XX years] because "some" people are offended.

The trouble comes because most people are simply not able to separate what's important from what's not.

On the other hand, I'll bet very few people [myself included] don't have at least a word or two that when heard, "agitates" them.

I'm betting YOU have at least a couple?

CynthiaD
09-08-2014, 04:48 PM
I don't think that labels are all that important. When describing myself, I generally prefer the term "woman." I have no problem with T-girl, transgendered, or crossdresser. I don't really mind the terms tranny or transvestite, but I generally don't use them.

What's more important is the concept. The idea that crossdressing wrong, weird, or unnatural in some fashion. How about a tee shirt with the slogan "Crossdressing is Cool!" (To be worn with a skirt, obviously.) :)

Bria
09-08-2014, 05:56 PM
I don't like the term "tranny" for several reasons: it's slang, it is generally used in a derogatory manner, it's not really descriptive. I prefer the use of transgender, crossdresser, transsexual. That said I realize that these terms may not be definitive to those out side of our circle, but I think that it is just a matter of education. The term "gay" was not well understood a few years ago.

As we have seen on this thread, not all find the term offensive, but if some do, then I think that the term should not be used as a matter of courtesy. Would we find it acceptable to use the terms that were in the past applied to Italians, Japanese, Polish, Germans, Jews, Blacks, etc.

I like to think that our discourse here is for the most part polite and respectful of all even when we disagree, I hope that we will keep it that way.

Hugs, Bria

Judith96a
09-08-2014, 06:09 PM
I'm opposed to words that are perfectly OK when used within a community but considered offensive when used by an outsider. It makes the community look shallow and hypocritical.
Absolutely, Eryn, couldn't agree more.


I have no problem with the word "tranny" but I realize that others have chosen to take offense with it.

Now you've hit the nail on the head! Yes, I know that 'tranny' has been used in a derogatory and hurtful way and I don't want to play down the hurt felt by those who have had the misfortune to have been on the receiving end of such treatment. BUT... demonising the word won't cure the problem. It just lets the haters know that they landed a punch and tells them how to keep landing the same punch time & again. Demonising words is the PC delusion. Demonise one word and they'll find another to spit at us. Keep going and we'll have no "permitted words" left - we'll be back to grunting or hiding in caves.




And I am irked by those who think that their opinion is more valid that that of the people they derisively call "part-timers."

Part-timers fight the same demons as the full-timers with the added need to occasionally take on masculine roles in order to maintain our marriages, families, careers, and other commitments.

Yes, quite! Funny, I thought that this site was called "crossdressers.com". Perhaps I am mistaken.

Jorja
09-08-2014, 06:10 PM
I am not a Tranny by any means. Yes, I do fall to the hard right under the transgender umbrella and I certainly line up under the transsexual sub-category. However the only label I am even interested in is the one that describes who I am. My name. So if you must call me something, Ms. Dewitt will do. If you are a friend then Jorja is a must.

Michelle (Oz)
09-08-2014, 10:24 PM
And other folks DO NOT WANT to be labeled.



the only label I am even interested in is the one that describes who I am. My name.

I have been an interested observer of the different polarised views on this thread. We members of this forum seem to enjoy a degree of divergence whenever rules or labels are discussed that are esoteric to the real world.

My experience which lies somewhere closer to full time than 'weekend' dressing is that I have NEVER been called a name other than Michelle or M'am (or very very occasionally 'sir' or 'mate'). I have NEVER had to use a term to explain who or what I am but know that if ever I did it would be 'transgendered' and not 'tranny'. I am known and accepted by many in the real world as a person called 'Michelle' and never had to explain why I dress.

Judging by the experiences of others I guess I'm just very fortunate or may be it is the result of confidence in who I am and not feeling a need to explain.

kellyanne
09-08-2014, 10:45 PM
Words mean different things to different people of different ages at different times in social history.
What is acceptable today may fall out of fashion or be very offensive tomorrow.

When I was much younger transvestite was in vogue - not cross dresser ( tranny was less common) and it was considered acceptable, not too long from now I suspect this term will give way to a new one as attitudes and understandings change.

LelaK
09-08-2014, 11:47 PM
PaulaQ: Lela, the terms you used to describe trans women are words that belong in the categories of hate speech reserved for certain vile and degrading ethnic and religious slurs.
No they don't. I'm positive I don't hate anyone when I read those terms (tranny, she-male, lady-boy etc) or any other time.

I suppose disagreeing is a roadblock to communication under these circumstances, so I should probably say: It sounds like you feel hated or degraded or something when such words are used in your presence.

I tend to engage in self-defense before thinking of it as a roadblock.

Michelle789
09-09-2014, 12:02 AM
Lela,

Maybe you don't hate it when anyone uses those terms, but there are plenty of us that do.

LelaK
09-09-2014, 01:02 AM
Lela,

Maybe you don't hate it when anyone uses those terms, but there are plenty of us that do.

I modified my last post. Is it better now? I modified it before I noticed your reply.

Michelle789
09-09-2014, 01:05 AM
Lela, there is no need to modify your post. It's okay to disagree.

:) :) :D

LelaK
09-09-2014, 01:09 AM
Lela, there is no need to modify your post. It's okay to disagree.

:) :) :D

I wanted to, because it felt incomplete as I thought about it.

sarahjan
09-09-2014, 02:45 AM
There was a time in the not to distant past where some transitioning girls look down on those who where trannies. I just wonder where things sit if the TG label is used across the board.

Amanda M
09-09-2014, 03:22 AM
I suspect that we hate certain words because of our life experiences. We can't alter the experiences, but we can alter the way we react to the offending words. Why get your blood pressure up?


Some of us -like myself don't give a damn what people call me.

Remember the little couplet "Sticks and stones may break my bones...."

Paula - I have to say that to describe Isha's opinion as irrelevant is arrogant in the extreme. It is as valid as yours and even mine.

And for someone even to hint that somehow 'part timers' on THIS, of all fora, are some sort of lesser being is quite unacceptable as far as I am concerned

Katey888
09-09-2014, 03:46 AM
I think Kimberly is being misinterpreted now... she didn't imply part-timers (that's me - mos' def...) are lesser beings... she observed - quite correctly - that most part-timers are able to pick and choose where and when they do things en femme, thus being able to avoid times and places where real world stigma may come out in an insulting or damaging way... I have no qualms accepting that this is much easier for me to deal with than anyone going 24/7 - I have the deepest admiration and respect for all those that do and I think we should all try to understand how difficult it must be living with those potential slurs each and every day... :hugs:

On a serious note about labels - or communities of people, really.... Groups and their names are how we express commonality and solidarity towards those with whom we share something... It can be a family - it can be a tribe, a country, a football team... At some point - not dissimilar to the LGB community - we, however we want to define the we as a community, will have to be prepared to compromise our individual preference and bias and accept something that we can all feel a part of... If we are never prepared to compromise as individuals, we will only ever exist as a fragmented and fractionalised minority.

Some of you probably don't care about that - but I think Betty started this with a perspective that says: if you refuse to be insulted by any particular name or description, then that name loses it's power - it's particularly powerful politically, if a group can reclaim that word for their own purposes, as has happened to a degree with the n-word.

If people are not prepared to accept new or majority definitions, it probably doesn't hurt us individually, but it surely does make it harder to gain acceptance and understanding across the broader community... not that I expect we'll always agree on anything here, but wouldn't it be nice...?? Wouldn't it be a start...??

:)

Katey x

Zylia
09-09-2014, 04:58 AM
I would also agree that the term "transgendered" is to long for many people.

For what it's worth, you can leave out "ed", transgender is already an adjective. Transgendered sounds like someone hit you on the head with something transgender, e.g. "Last night someone transgendered me."

Anyway, as a weekend cross-dresser (more like a full moon cross-dresser) I have little to worry about these words personally, although as a mudblood I can understand the offensiveness of words like tranny, trap and she male. In Holland, idiots call trans persons "construction kits".

Teresa
09-09-2014, 05:36 AM
Sometimes we get on insight into other members lifestyles through a fairly straightfoward question !
Kimberly has made the decision to dress fulltime and accept what society throws at her, I can see where she would have a different viewpoint on labels !
I'm one of the part timers and accept the situation to continue the life style I have with my family ! Sometimes it is painful, I can't answer if I would want to go full time, but I guess we must accept and understand other dressers lifestyles without a load of mud slinging !
We all know the labels that society and media use and because we are generally a misunderstood minority they are going to be used as often hurtful slurs ! I hate most of the labels for that reason but there's nothing I can do about it !

Zylia's comment about the Dutch terming us , " Construction kits " , has an intersesting twist, prehaps she would like to expand on that one !

JuliaM
09-09-2014, 06:32 AM
Words are conduits for ignorance and intolerance as much as beauty and love; context and intent are more important than the words themselves.

NicoleScott
09-09-2014, 10:09 AM
The national pasttime used to be baseball. Now it's getting offended, or worse, being offended on behalf of others (offended by proxy). I have no objection to being called a tranny, TV, CDer, T-girl, or a sissy. But if you don't want to be called any of those, I wouldn't if I knew it would offend you. What I object to is the idea that if you don't like a word, nobody is allowed to use it, even to describe themselves.

Stephanie47
09-09-2014, 11:06 AM
"Tranny" is not different than any other word meant to describe a person; sexuality, nationality, ethnicity,etc. Used within the group it may be considered OK. Even used by someone outside the group it may be considered OK as long as it is a term of endearment. The "N" word comes to mind.

So, if I were out and about in a dress, hosiery, heels, wig and makeup and I encounter a sister, dressed or not dressed, and, s/he says with a smile "You're a tranny, too!" I would not take offense. If I were to get a sneer and nasty words I would take offense due to the hostility displayed. It's the same with the usage of gay or lesbian.

When there is universality against a word, such as the "N" word, then I would caution using it period. Usage of the "N" word within certain communities seems to be acceptable, but, it is also frowned on by everyone outside the community because it reminds people of societies once exploitation and denigration of a race. The word gay and lesbian has mixed reviews so far because there does not seem to be another word to explain the sexuality of the relationship. To me the term "tranny" has a negative connotation in society. Too many people are ignorant about the meaning of the term.

Until I perused and then joined this site I only considered myself a cross dresser, not a "tranny." I, and, I mean I, do not consider myself a "tranny" or even "transgendered." Frankly, there are too many shades of grey in our world.

Anna H
09-09-2014, 11:30 AM
I generally only get offended if i sense someone is trying
to be offensive....or condescending.

My own little nag is i hate to be called "sweetie". But i get
it all the time and i know it's intended fondly, so i accept
it as intended. :)

Words mean different things to different people, but it's usually
pretty easy for me to tell if they're trying to be rude.

If i came across a pink belt with "tranny" emblazoned in rhinestones,
I'd buy it in a heartbeat...(and wear it too!) lol!

Tina_gm
09-09-2014, 12:49 PM
I am in the crowd where an individual word is basically meaningless to me. Call me whatever you want. If you mean it harshly that is your problem and not mine. I am so sick of the political correctness you have no idea. It has moved us backwards by a long way, not forward. How is it forward when we are beginning to be afraid to talk to people at all in fears of offending them????? Our biggest national holiday is Christmas and yet many are afraid to say Merry Christmas.... this does not compute.....

transbetty
09-21-2014, 06:45 AM
If you don't think any women are offended and quite willing to protest being called "chicks" then you're getting a rather limited perspective. It's not exactly a world-class insult, but it is somewhat dismissive. Many of the same women object to the term "girls" referring to mature women as well, and while I'm not nearly as sensitive I do understand where they're coming from.

No, you get over it.

See how compelling an argument that is? Expressing your opinion and suggesting to others you're sick of hearing theirs isn't likely to lead to meaningful change. I'm all for real exchanges of ideas, but that requires listening and trying to understand opposing viewpoints. Sure, some of it comes down to whether or not we agree that language is an effective agent for change. In practice, I think a lot of what happens is that terminology becomes a shorthand for identifying who hasn't been reached by education regarding the issues that affect a part of the population. The words themselves aren't hurtful, but the attitudes they represent certainly can be, so people change their language to show respect for the process of becoming a more understanding, diverse society. It's all too easy for people to assume that if the word tranny is still fair game, then the attitudes that have gone with it historically are still okay, too.[/B]

I am irked by part-timers advocating for the use of terminology that has been used to degrade the entire trans community, because it's something a weekend crossdresser can just walk away from. They don't have to deal with day-to-day discrimination every day of their lives, in housing or at their job, so they don't pay the same kind of price transitioners, particularly non-passable transitioners, have to deal with.

Maybe I was wrong in the way I put, I admit. It all depends on social settings, who says is it, what tone is used, etc. Even ladies do refer to themselves as "hens" sometimes and that's not meant to offend. Conclusion from my point: just ANYTHING can be offensive depending on settings. Can we agree on that? Now it's us who feels /decides what is an insult, isn't it? I know I'm here dancing on very thin thin ice, because it's very hard to detach yourself from denomination of spoken language, but it a "way out" of the inside-box-thinking.

It's all the same game... Just think of it. In your reply you referred to me as "part-timer". Like someone who doesn't understand, because I don't live full time, I'm not a TS, (god knows why?). You see, that might be just another judgement you did without knowing me, not knowing what I went through in my life for being different. So did i get offended? To be sincere, first I did. But then I realize only if people stop being touchy a start to listen and open their mind for new ideas a change can happen.



Personally, I'm only offended by context and intention.


I can't say how much I agree with you. I think that's the main thing to address in this dilema.


This is really a questionable thing to ask. You have to look at it from the perspective of the person being described. There are a lot of words, which people who are not in the group, think are OK to say. You don't use those terms especially around that group. "Tranny" is often used by non-TGs as a way to put down a person who is presenting as a non-same gender.

You want something short and easy? How about "person" seems simple enough...interchangeable in every instance that "tranny" can be used, not and insult. How about we take the time to NOT say "let's use this word" and use that same time for just accepting everyone for who they are and not having to label them? Especially with a word that can be hurtful or mean.

Many people here get my intention wrong and I have a feeling you demonstrated it. I mean positive sense, not as an offense (eye-opener). I'm not here to say what is right / wrong. I'm just suggesting "It's time to de-demonize "tranny" term". It's a discussion that can or may have not change anything. Maybe it will just leave few personal imprint memories. But if people agree it's a peaceful way for any change.


What's the problem. Each of us knows who we are. Some one in society does not tranny is an umbrella term which includes all types. I'm a non-op TS because of health and financial reasons Just because one doesn't have SRS that does not make them a non TS. Until some one gets involved with me they may only think I'm a tranny. Someone else is a cross dresser, until someone knows who they are they can call them a sissy(me as well) . Like someone said people want a simple term in dealing with a group while trying not to insult any one. When people get to know you as an individual they will want to use the terms which directly identify you.
So please don't create a mountain out of a mole hill.

It's just not worth it to hurt the feelings of a person who wants to know us.

Take my Mom. When she found my cousins blouse in my closet . She said "that if I was born a girl , she would have named me Penelope".

However my friends would have just called me Penny


I find your reply up to the point and mature. THUMBS UP!


@Isha - you may think you've been called far worse than "tranny", but you really can't understand what those who use that word in anger mean until you've been chased by a group of angry men who mean to beat up the "big old tranny" they've run across.

Or, how about this one? You are new in transition, and desperately in need of medical care your society denies you. You are trying to live your life as a woman, and you overhear the following: "hey, look at that tranny over there! Hey go over and talk to her, I bet you can get into her panties!" Followed by some F'n guy walking over and trying to grope you - as if that's the sure-fire way to get a date with a woman. But of course they've made it abundantly clear that you AREN'T a woman - you're a "tranny."

I hope these little, real-life stories show how and why the term tranny is so hurtful to those of us who transition.

From my personal view it's not the word that offenses you, but the approach of the person and what he thinks of you. In your example it was a guy who wanted to get into your panties. Sure his approach was not very "romantic", but the point where it hurts you (at least from what I understand) is you being sad because he doesn't see primarily woman in you + not behaving properly. So I'm saying it's us who reflects / reacts on outside world. And we (even myself) get hurt sometimes because we expect to be understood.


OMG you are soooooo right Paula. No where is safe if you're trans. Not even this forum. Not even your own transgender support group. In fact, the worst discrimination and worst treatment I have received has been from within the trans community.

And it's not just physical safety. When you're trans, you can trust no one. Even other trans people stab each other in the back just to get power, to fit in with cis people, or to otherwise make themselves feel better. And trans people can be very condescending towards each other, as we have seen on another thread in the TS section.

To a certain extent I also say that for women in general, cis or trans, no place is safe for them. Not even your own home when hubby might beat or sexually assault you.




Another term I am not so fond of. Really, being T isn't anyone's damn business.


As harsh as it sounds... While I do admit a TS person might be vulnerable to be hurt more (on multiple levels) , I think the victimization is a common problem. Michelle., I'm not saying necessarily it's your case. A man or woman. it's a dog-eats-dog world. Regardless of sex, race or bellief. What makes some people special in my humble opinion is ability to cope, survive and even learn and get stronger.


Do you [you DO] realize I hope that SOME folks here like/want/use/need a label of some kind for themselves...

And other folks DO NOT WANT to be labeled.

Which folks are right?

And which folks are wrong?

Says who?

There are folks right now whose biggest worry is that the Washington Redskins will have to give up/change the team name, [a name they have now used w/o a problem for XX years] because "some" people are offended.

The trouble comes because most people are simply not able to separate what's important from what's not.

On the other hand, I'll bet very few people [myself included] don't have at least a word or two that when heard, "agitates" them.

I'm betting YOU have at least a couple?

LOL, this one made me laugh. True, I agree that at the end this is not going to solve any TG issues. But, what I like it gives you interesting opinions, and even more after reading some replies and thinking them over it can expand your horizons.


I think Kimberly is being misinterpreted now... she didn't imply part-timers (that's me - mos' def...) are lesser beings... she observed - quite correctly - that most part-timers are able to pick and choose where and when they do things en femme, thus being able to avoid times and places where real world stigma may come out in an insulting or damaging way... I have no qualms accepting that this is much easier for me to deal with than anyone going 24/7 - I have the deepest admiration and respect for all those that do and I think we should all try to understand how difficult it must be living with those potential slurs each and every day... :hugs:

On a serious note about labels - or communities of people, really.... Groups and their names are how we express commonality and solidarity towards those with whom we share something... It can be a family - it can be a tribe, a country, a football team... At some point - not dissimilar to the LGB community - we, however we want to define the we as a community, will have to be prepared to compromise our individual preference and bias and accept something that we can all feel a part of... If we are never prepared to compromise as individuals, we will only ever exist as a fragmented and fractionalised minority.

Some of you probably don't care about that - but I think Betty started this with a perspective that says: if you refuse to be insulted by any particular name or description, then that name loses it's power - it's particularly powerful politically, if a group can reclaim that word for their own purposes, as has happened to a degree with the n-word.

If people are not prepared to accept new or majority definitions, it probably doesn't hurt us individually, but it surely does make it harder to gain acceptance and understanding across the broader community... not that I expect we'll always agree on anything here, but wouldn't it be nice...?? Wouldn't it be a start...??

:)

Katey x

Thanks katey, that sums it pretty well. A perspective from both sides (mine and for example Kimberly's) .


"Tranny" is not different than any other word meant to describe a person; sexuality, nationality, ethnicity,etc. Used within the group it may be considered OK. Even used by someone outside the group it may be considered OK as long as it is a term of endearment. The "N" word comes to mind.

So, if I were out and about in a dress, hosiery, heels, wig and makeup and I encounter a sister, dressed or not dressed, and, s/he says with a smile "You're a tranny, too!" I would not take offense. If I were to get a sneer and nasty words I would take offense due to the hostility displayed. It's the same with the usage of gay or lesbian.

When there is universality against a word, such as the "N" word, then I would caution using it period. Usage of the "N" word within certain communities seems to be acceptable, but, it is also frowned on by everyone outside the community because it reminds people of societies once exploitation and denigration of a race. The word gay and lesbian has mixed reviews so far because there does not seem to be another word to explain the sexuality of the relationship. To me the term "tranny" has a negative connotation in society. Too many people are ignorant about the meaning of the term.

Until I perused and then joined this site I only considered myself a cross dresser, not a "tranny." I, and, I mean I, do not consider myself a "tranny" or even "transgendered." Frankly, there are too many shades of grey in our world.


Very good observation. It's happening right now for the term "tranny". That's how I feel. The more demonised, the more of T-word it becomes .

BTW: I can you imagine this in near future:

Person1: Have you heard about Mel Gibson saying the T-word on the national televison?
Person2: Oh my god, really?
Person1: Yes, without a shame. Poor guy, he doesn't know what's coming to him. I heard the T-people put an award on his head. He already can't enter some NY clubs for some T-word references.
Person2: I would be scared, I heard these T-people are furious. Nails, scenes and everything ...

:D:D:D

Kris Avery
09-21-2014, 07:48 AM
In many ways our GD is harder for us to deal with as we can't or won't walk away from the obligations entered into by our male selves. We end up living our lives as best we can on both sides of the divide , and it certainly isn't easy for us.
.

This is SO true Eryn! I have never had anyone out it out there like that. It is just as important as it's the same thing/feeling.

Crissy Kay
09-21-2014, 09:19 AM
Hey Girls, it could be worse, they could be calling us Nazi's instead!!

Ressie
09-21-2014, 09:37 AM
The word seems to be mostly associated with porn. But as George Carlin said, words aren't bad per se, it's the context in which they're used. The way to take any offense out of words is to use them so much that the impact is watered down to hardly anything. So let's get started with it….

I'm a tranny, you're a tranny, he's a tranny, she's a tranny, wouldn't you like to be a tranny too?

Samantha_Smile
09-21-2014, 09:52 AM
Like a great many things, context is key.
I'm all for the attitude of taking the power back and evolution of the species as a whole, so good on you for trying Betty! :)

As I said, it's context. It's either a nasty slur or a term of endearment.
"F**k off, you tranny B***ard" is obviously meant to offend/intimidate, and this context is out of line with me.
But I would feel perfectly fine with someone referring to me as their "tranny mate" (UK - Mate = Friend), or even "that tall tranny".

I wrote my first blog piece about this very topic http://sometimessamantha.blogspot.co.uk/2014/02/death-to-tranny.html
And I would ask you to read it for a somewhat different skew on the issue,

Raychel
09-21-2014, 10:07 AM
Personally I do not like the word Tranny, I wish there was some nicer term that we could use,

ReluctantDebutant
09-21-2014, 10:14 AM
I don't know the origins of "tranny" but I am sure it probably started as an abbreviated version of transsexual, transgendered, trans-woman, trans-man, and alike. Heck I hear every so often in reference to transvestites. I am sure it was used by everyone at first, by those in the community and those outside, as a nickname to keep from having to say all those syllables every time. Haters are going to use words with hate no matter what word you give them. You can continue to change the name but the haters are just going to adapt themselves. Change Trans-woman to Neo-woman or some such and in a few weeks you'll hear some ignoramus shout out "Hey look its one of those F**k'n neos over there".

It just reminds me of when Transvestite was used in the 70's and 80's then people thought it was offensive and they preferred the term cross-dresser. Now I have read post here grumbling over the term cross-dresser. But if you think about it, transvestite is just Latin for cross-dresser, and any new would be just some variation. That word will get it abbreviations and nicknames and be used by people who hate and we'll all be back here again.

Melanie B
09-21-2014, 10:40 AM
I get the feeling that "transvestite" is less acceptable in the US than in the UK. (don't know about other english-speaking countries!) It certainly wouldn't be the first time that the US and UK have been divided by their (superficially) common language.
But I'm intrigued that we don't seem to have words to distinguish between those for whom cross dressing is primarily a sexual activity and those for whom it is gender related,, rather than sexual.

Beth Wilde
09-21-2014, 10:57 AM
I've found it soooooooooo much easier not to give a proverbial flying **** what label people apply to me! I do worry that nowadays people can be very tender and quick to seek offence, often where none was intended. I'm very happy being me and that's what I call me.

P.S I have a gay friend who often asks how his "favourite tranny" is, I find it quite endearing! :)

Beverley Sims
09-21-2014, 09:14 PM
Times, outlook, views and standards are constantly changing.

Think of the terms used to describe coloured people years ago that were quite normal.

They are considered offensive now and even get edited out of old films that portray racial problems.

1940s cartoons made for children carried a 'G' rating,they now carry a 'PG' or higher rating.

Political correctness has gone off the rails, although views about respect for women and those that are 'different' has improved.

Smoking...... Need I say more.

Tranny?

Just live with it I say. It is not offensive, just feels that way to some.