Another personal observation

[Kris Avery]

I have announced here some time ago that I was adopted at an very early age (days old in case you were wondering).

Adopted children in closed adoptions have basically no knowledge of their biological factors.
Said another way - I don't know (who or what else I might look like) - and have absolutely no clues.
It can really make you feel alone on this planet.

This is something that most simply take for granted - but this has puzzled me my entire life.

So this morning, it occurred to me that one of the possible reasons that I enjoy all this CD stuff
(in addition to the GD/TS issues) is to see how I might look like as a female; since I have no baseline.

Odd, I know, but it was just a thought......:heehee:

[BOBBI G.]

Wendy,
I know exactly how this thought operates. I traced my mother's family back to England and Germany, and that line has a bunch of pretty folks in it. I've been told my Dad was adopted, and I can only trace him to the adoptive parents, my Grandparents, as I knew them. The nicest people, just not "model" material. Not knowing from whence I came is not the most pleasant way to go through life, but if you're given lemons and limes, buy a bottle of tequila and start mixing drinks for the party.You did give me food for thought. I am a transgender female, and have often wondered "why me?" You have given me another line of thought. Thank you for that.

Bobbi

[Tracii G]

I can't imagine how that would feel not knowing who your real parents were.

[Kris Avery]

A sincere thanks to those who responded.

It makes me feel a bit less biologically alone on this planet to at least talk about it.

I do have great adoptive parents - but we aren't related.

I know I wasn't hatched but it's still odd that I just don't know anything about them at all...and have no legal right to either.
In the state I was adopted the records are sealed for life.:sad:

[Ashley Lyn]

Thankfully, I knew my biological parents, and had a good upbringing..
My Mother was the dominant of the two, in my opinion, and she LOVED to wear dresses..
Know where my feelings came from..

[MelanieAnne]

My dad was adopted, in an inter family adoption, when his mother died. But back in the day, adoptions were kept hush, hush. We have traced our fathers family back a couple generations, but no money or royalty. Sigh. :doh:

[CherylFlint]

When dressed, most CD's say they look like their mother. I do.

[Katey888]

Wendy - those are really touching observations... :hugs: It's impossible for anyone else to understand what that feels like - as you say, most of us take our parents for granted and spare little thought for those who, even though they may have a completely happy childhood, always carry that mystery of their origins... In fact, this, imho, is barbaric:


I know I wasn't hatched but it's still odd that I just don't know anything about them at all...and have no legal right to either.
In the state I was adopted the records are sealed for life.:sad:

In the UK since 1975 adopted children have had the right to access their original birth certificate once they are 18 - there's no further help given but at least many can find some peace of mind in just knowing who their real parents were. Whether this has influenced why you ended up here amongst us weird and wonderful folk I couldn't say - but I'm sorry that you can't achieve some sort of closure with your past... :(


My dad was adopted, in an inter family adoption, when his mother died. But back in the day, adoptions were kept hush, hush. We have traced our fathers family back a couple generations, but no money or royalty. Sigh. :doh:

Bad luck Melanie - I understood the 'holy grail' of US ancestry was to be able to trace a connection back to the original 40-odd Mayflower families rather than royalty? Genealogy almost always turns up bad news... my family name (my real name..) actually features in the Norman Domesday record of 1086 and the family were Saxon squires (Lords) of a small manor (village) in Berkshire prior to the Norman takeover... still no money in the family though... :lol:

Katey x

[mariehart]

I was fortunate that I wasn't sent for adoption. My Mother became pregnant before marriage with her long time boyfriend, my Dad. Not a big deal these days. But this was 1959 Ireland which at the time put expectant Mothers to work in laundries and sent the children for adoption or even away to Australia or America.

Fortunately my Father was not a man to shirk his responsibilities and they were quickly married. Nevertheless I often felt he took it out on me for having to give up his freedom. Even though they had five more children I always got the worst of his temper. He practically ignored the others and my younger still feels I was more of a Dad to him than our Father. I was ten years older than him and did all the Dad things, going places buying presents. I even helped fund him in college. He even followed me into the same industry.

But Wendy, you wonder if your adoption has somehow had an influence on your CD/TG/GD issues? Well maybe it has. I read somewhere that stress during the early stages of pregnancy can have an effect on the foetus. In that it may interfere with the development of the brain and body relative to the release of hormones at the correct moment in male babies. Among other things of course. There is plenty of evidence that stress during pregnancy particularly early pregnancy has an impact on the foetus.

Clearly both our Mother's would have been under severe stress when they found they were pregnant. Yours had you adopted, mine would have had the fear of losing her baby, her man and maybe her job in a less than tolerant society. Even though it worked out for her no doubt the damage was already done to me.

Here's an article references it with the caution that this may since have been superseded. Interesting none the less.

http://weblogs.nrc.nl/swaab/2009/04/03/the-atypical-brain-development-of-transsexuals/

So no maybe it's not your adoption that was the issue but the stress your Mother suffered while you were developing. Instinctively I think you were having more than an idle thought