Jackie7
09-15-2014, 08:18 AM
Here is another take in the to be or not to be question.
For many crossdressers, myself included during the years I was closeted, the core struggle to exist at all is paramount. The whole world including your spouse is telling you it is wrong, a mistake, a perversion. You have to fight like hell just to be alive as yourself. Consequently the struggle to exist dominates and for some, myself included, builds into a major chip on the shoulder. We become blatantly femme and in your face girly, which is not always the stance in our own best interests (ha- for me, being a hard-ass about my "right" to express my femme led to an 80-20 division of the marital assets in her favor).
For me all this ended after I met my second wife, she accepted me fully and never stood in my way, in fact she has encouraged me to dress when I wanted to, and to not dress when I don't want to - in effect, get in touch with my own feelings and be true to that. What's more she has always been my reliable wing-woman, my GG companion and supporter in the world. And with the struggle to exist resolved, I've been able to evolve into the at-home and sometimes-out dresser that I am today - I dress when I want and when it is appropriate in my life, which is often when we are out socially in Philadelphia and New York. But here in our little rural village, not so much outside the house.
Because the chip on my shoulder dissolved in the elixir of acceptance. I no longer need to fight for my very existence. As a result I have had the space to mature into the bi-gendered being I believe myself to be today. And the world must be better off without me raging around in it.
For many crossdressers, myself included during the years I was closeted, the core struggle to exist at all is paramount. The whole world including your spouse is telling you it is wrong, a mistake, a perversion. You have to fight like hell just to be alive as yourself. Consequently the struggle to exist dominates and for some, myself included, builds into a major chip on the shoulder. We become blatantly femme and in your face girly, which is not always the stance in our own best interests (ha- for me, being a hard-ass about my "right" to express my femme led to an 80-20 division of the marital assets in her favor).
For me all this ended after I met my second wife, she accepted me fully and never stood in my way, in fact she has encouraged me to dress when I wanted to, and to not dress when I don't want to - in effect, get in touch with my own feelings and be true to that. What's more she has always been my reliable wing-woman, my GG companion and supporter in the world. And with the struggle to exist resolved, I've been able to evolve into the at-home and sometimes-out dresser that I am today - I dress when I want and when it is appropriate in my life, which is often when we are out socially in Philadelphia and New York. But here in our little rural village, not so much outside the house.
Because the chip on my shoulder dissolved in the elixir of acceptance. I no longer need to fight for my very existence. As a result I have had the space to mature into the bi-gendered being I believe myself to be today. And the world must be better off without me raging around in it.