Are there cds who really are just comfortable being cds and not transitioning?

[maya1love]

Hi all:

I have a question for all of you. I have spoken to many many crossdressers over the years. I get the sense that many crossdressers would either: a) transition if they could, but cannot for various reasons; b) on their way to transitioning.

Are there crossdressers out there who really feel comfortable in just being a part time crossdresser with no desire to transition? I feel very blessed to be just a part timer with crossdressing fantasies and do not have that angst about taking things further. What about you?

[Janet Bern]

I like to dress. the last thing I would want to be would be a woman

[Rachael Leigh]

I only felt one time back in my life I wanted to be a women and I finally understood that was not me.
I enjoy being a man but I do love dressing in my pretty clothes in makup and all or not so I'm happy just dressing

[maya1love]

Nice to hear! I find that so many tgurls are uncomfortable with their male persona. When I talk to them, they inevitably say that if they could, they would transition, but for some reason, they cannot. Yet, I have no restrictions to transitioning, but have no desire to live full time as a woman. Could it be that we want what we cannot have?

[Georgia_Maine]

I've asked myself this question many times over the past 50 years. Yes, I would be interested to know what it's like to be a fully functional female. But in the end, if I could choose either way, I'd stay the way I am.

[Nadine Spirit]

I am not a part time cross dresser. I am a full time gender non-conformist. Thus my argument as to why I am not interested in transitioning - I would be stuck in the same position. I would still be a gender non-conformist. I don't conform to the male gender, nor the female gender. I exist somewhere in the middle and am totally fine with it. I am of the believe that this is the way that I was born, and it is only up to me to accept it. If I accept it, it is irrelevant what anyone else thinks of me.

[Candice Mae]

CDs do not transition, CDs can dress full time but transitioning is for TSs.

[GingerSeti]

I've thought about that a lot. I think if I had decided to do it it would have been in my 20s, probably too late now. All of the things that happen to a guy's body as he ages are not reversible now.

G

[Jenniferathome]

I think your original statement is way off the mark. Those few with whom you have spoken are in the great minority. Transsexuals do not finds excuses to not transition. They find ways to make it happen.

I have no desire to, nor have thoughts of, transition. I'm a guy. I like being a guy. I happen to also be a cross dresser. This is the norm.

[maya1love]

Jennifer, I do believe you are right that transsexuals transition, and crossdressers do not. I attend my local trans social group, I have been to the Southern Comfort Conference and I talk to tgurls alot on the internet, and I meet alot of gurls who really don't see themselves as just garden variety crossdressers, like myself. They want more. And I find that amazing simply because I feel like there is no one like me who just says, "hey, I like to wear women's clothes and that's it". It is more than that for them -- they want to be women. But, I appreciate that there are folks here in this thread who seem comfortable in just being a crossdresser.

[stephNE]

I am a crossdresser. For me, I have no interest in transitioning. Being a guy most of the time is fine.

[natcrys]

Let's keep this short, sweet and simple. :p

I'm a CD. The last 30+ years.. I have often wondered if I was a TS. Then I realised that I'm perfectly happy the way I am.. and thus concluded I'm not a TS.. and don't need to transition.

[Jodi]

Just a plain old CD who has done this for over 60 years. No desire, nor have I ever had the desire, to be a woman.

Jodi

[siantv2003]

I think your original statement is way off the mark. Those few with whom you have spoken are in the great minority. Transsexuals do not finds excuses to not transition. They find ways to make it happen.

I have no desire to, nor have thoughts of, transition. I'm a guy. I like being a guy. I happen to also be a cross dresser. This is the norm.

I have to agree with Jennifer ... I think that the 'many' you have spoken are actually in the minority.

Speaking for myself, I am perfectly happy being a cross dresser. Would I like to be more open about it .. sure but society is the problem with the way we stereotype people!!
Do I want to transition and become a woman .. hell no! I like the duality of my life. Sian allows me to be a softer more caring person who happens to dress in wonderful, beautiful clothes - her other half, like to get his hands dirty so to speak and deal with things typically related to masculinity.

[susmitha]

Mine is a very peculiar case, I think. I have absolutely no plans to transition. But I want to dress as a woman and assume the fem role during intimacy, while my GG partner dresses as a man and makes love to me just like what a man does to his woman.

[Kate Simmons]

I'm good being myself if that's what you mean and that includes enjoying both modes which I would no doubt do regardless of plumbing.:battingeyelashes::)

[cassandra54]

I guess if you want to call me a CD, you can. I dress as much as I can, but I do love my male self. However if I woke up one morning and found that in the middle of the night, I mysteriously became a GG, that would be cool. I would consider transitioning if the found a way to transplant the bottom half of a woman into a man, therefore making him pretty much a GG. I know, sounds weird right?

[Samantha_Smile]

There is no way in hell I could dress daily, full time without some kind of reward, financial or otherwise.
Does anybody feel like presenting decently, while amazing fun, is also very laborious when you have to get everything 'just so'?

Do not get me wrong here, I loves me some dress up time, but full time? Hormones? Transition? Boobs? SRS?
Hell no, I like my boobs OFF when I go to sleep.
Sleeping with long hair that I had to sort out in the morning?
Have you seen how much good makeup costs?
Slightly superficial look at things, but I have no idea how to get into the head of a transexual woman.
Because I'm a crossdresser.
CDs and TS are not the same thing.

No, I love girling it up, but I also love my guy life.

[UNDERDRESSER]

Maya, I think what you are seeing is that the TS people are the ones who have to go out that way, that's who they are. The plain old garden CD is someone who likes to do it occasionally, and is often unable to explain why, so you don't see them. There are some who are driven to do it, but the great majority are in the closet, both for actually going out, and even for discussing it. Myself, I have got to a stage that I don't even consider crossdressing, I like to wear skirts, and sometimes hosiery. I like the comfort, and the feel, I like the way they make my legs look, I don't look like a woman at all.

I don't consider myself female, or even that feminine, I don't want to become a female.

[Jordan-NH]

Inside I'm a guy, always will be. Just prefer to look like a woman and feel pretty from time to time. No transitioning happening here.

[Crissy Kay]

I think your original statement is way off the mark. Those few with whom you have spoken are in the great minority. Transsexuals do not finds excuses to not transition. They find ways to make it happen.

I have no desire to, nor have thoughts of, transition. I'm a guy. I like being a guy. I happen to also be a cross dresser. This is the norm.
I have to agree with Jennifer also. I am very happy being a part time cd. I have had no interest in being a woman at any time. I just enjoy wearing fem clothes every so often.

[Talisker]

Think the OP sample selection is not representative of the population.

Happy to be part time CD.

[Ashley Lyn]

Strictly part-time here as well.. Have been CDing for close to 60 years, and not changing now..
So glad I was able to find an accepting SO.. makes my like so much easier..
If only we wore the same size clothes.. BUT, then she doesn't like my 'style'.. (long legs and short skirts)

[Julie Denier]

I have no desire to ever transition. I am very happy being a guy -- I just like to dress up now and then.

[Isabella Ross]

Just like Julie, and many others on this thread, I love being a transgendered guy who loves to both be a guy, and dress and feel like a woman on a part-time basis. I also believe we are the vast majority rather than the exception, Maya.

[Melanie B]

I wish I had been born a girl. But I wasn't. And if transitioning had been a practical proposition when I was in my twenties, maybe I would have gone for it.But it wasn't -- or if it was, I didn't know about it.
Now, I have nearly sixty years invested in learning to be a man, and a family that depend on me. It's a lot to give up, and for what? Even if I transitioned, I could never, now, be a wife and mother, be pretty, or sing soprano.
The blunt fact is that I've missed the boat.

[Katey888]

It's all been said before me, Maya - I have absolutely no thoughts of becoming a woman, nor indeed that I am one inside... I'm obviously somewhere in-betweeny on that TG spectrum and I suspect that most of us fall into that category.

Perhaps if you say many, many you have spoken to in real life - rather than the virtual world of the forums - this perhaps indicates that more of those who do feel drawn to get out into the world of muggles need that affirmation because they are further along the spectrum...? If you didn't mean that then I'm more surprised you might think more would transition... most folk here don't give that impression... :)

Good question though... and a good, unambiguous response for you... ;)

Katey x

[jeank]

Absolutely there are - me for one.

I love being able to dress when the mood takes me, but it is just another side to who I am .

I do not feel GD or have any desire to become a full time woman. I'm a guy who likes to wear dresses and put on make up etc every now and then. No idea why, it just feels right at the time.

And from everything I've read, that is the majority of CDs

[Marcelle]

Hi Maya,

I guess where a lot of folks get confused is the use of the term CDer as most CDers tend to be part-time dressers for various reasons (stress relief, sexual, just something they need to do and so forth) so the though of transitioning tends to never enter the mix for classic cross dressers. However, the TG spectrum is no more binary than gender there is not a CD camp and a TS camp with a no (wo)man's land in between. It is possible that some of the CDers you talked to may have been further along the spectrum and may be suffering from GD but have yet to embrace/accept and as such class themselves along this binary we (the community) has created.

When it comes to being TG it can be confusing even to the actual CDer Most here who are CD I would venture are classic CD (happy to be a part-time girl) however, there are probably some who have not quite figured it out and may one day decide to cross completely across no (wo)man's land to the TS camp. Those you talked to may just have been on that journey.

Hugs

Isha

[Bria]

I'm just a part timer CD, no more than that!

Hugs, Bria

[NatalieBliss]

I really don't think transition is for me. Being a "guy", for me, isn't terrible. Quite comfortable most of the time. However I love expressing myself through crossdressing too. I do also like the idea of trying things in public for advocacy and maybe even in a creative capacity.

[lexivanderpump]

I'm not interested in transitioning. I love dressing up like a girl/woman and feeling pretty.

Love,
Lexi V.

[maya1love]

Wow! Thank you all! You really set me straight. In particular, I loved Isha's comments about not looking at things as "binary" -- cd or ts.

And -- I have to say that the tgurls who I have met often express themselves the way that Melanie B. did (Post #26): "I wish I could have transitioned, but for various reasons, I have not".

But, I'm glad to hear that alot of you folks seem very contented in just being cds (not that there is anything wrong with being more transgendered than cd ;))

[Dianne S]

I think what confuses people is that most CDers never become TSes and have no desire to transition. But a lot (I believe) of TSes start out thinking they're just CDers before realizing they're TS. Since many TSes have followed the CD->TS path, it can seem like many CDers will too... but that's not the case.

[marsha leanne]

at one time . i was entranced by transitioning, but it was not for me. i enjoy my maleness, and plan on keeping it. i just like to 'dress up' at times. I'm good just the way i am.

[hope springs]

I fantasize about being a woman, but have no overwhelming desire to transition. I feel no anxiety about being a guy, nor depressed im not a woman. I definitely on the gender spectrum somewhere, just not so far i have to transition to feel whole. Good question

[Butterfly Bill]

I like being able to pee standing up and not have to wait in long lines at restrooms too much.

[PaulaQ]

@OP - yes. The majority of you will never transition.

[Leslie Langford]

maya, add me to the list of CDers who have no desire to transition and play for the other team full-time.

I quite enjoy being able to live in both worlds as the mood strikes me and to experience life from both a male and female perspective. I often compare it to being bilingual (and bi-cultural), which I also am - trilingual, actually. Either facility leads to greatly enhanced life experiences and opens up so many doors compared to what the average, one-track type person gets to experience.

Time was, I regretted being a crossdresser for the way it complicated my life and because I felt guilty and ashamed for having those "weird" thoughts and desires. Now that I have come to accept myself for what I am and recognize what an incredible gift this has been as opposed to being an unbearable burden, my outlook on life has become exceedingly positive and I have come to embrace my transgenderism unconditionally without losing sight of my inherent masculinity.

Since I am completely heterosexual, married, and a devoted family man with children and grandchildren in my day-to-day life, I have zero desire to divest myself of my "dangly bits". Besides, aside from the obvious benefits, they also come in handy when it comes to peeing standing up or cursively writing my name in the snow should that desire ever come over me. Mind you, at my age, I'd probably need a stencil as well to do a proper job of it... ;)

[ClosetED]

This is the typical problem of surveys and data analysis and tests - biased populations. You ask a group who go to meetings for TS and you hear one answer. You go to a site for crossdressers and you hear a different answer. Sources state 6-10% of men have worn women's clothing and 1% want to be women. Maya, did you post this same question in the TS section? Not everyone in this section is just a CDer, but the vast majority, as you can see, are. Most are heterosexual, but not all. Do you go to a courtroom and ask who is a lawyer and base opinions on how many lawyers are there in this country? No. But you are not alone in those who don't consider this when making decisions on the data they have.
But welcome to the group of wonderful, opinionated people
Ellen

[Jenny Elwood]

Just a 'dresser I'm afraid. Had some TS thoughts before but then realised it would just be an excuse to dress up more often.

[Amanda L.]

Hi Maya
In answer to your question.......YES, absolutely.
From reading your post and your reflection on where you are at with your CDing I say ....Ditto
So YES and DITTO.
Works for me

[Vikky]

Like many others I just an ordinary CDer. I like dressing up and do so whenever I get the opportunity and would like to do it more often, even venture out one day. I am a bloke , like being a bloke and happen to like dressing.

I have no plans to become a woman, however, if someone said “Try it for six months” I could be tempted.

Vikky

[charlenesomeone]

I agree with majority on this thread. But as I walked around today and
did some GG watching, I had to think that if ( in my mind ) I could be and look like
that welllllllll?
But happy now in a pink tsunami.
When the magic pill to switch back and forth is discovered, I will be in line.
Char

[Stephanie47]

I'm just a cross dresser. I have never had any desire to become a woman, although, if I were not a man I would like to be a woman. It takes way to long for many cross dressers to come to terms abut their inner self or sexuality. I grew up in the 1950's and 1960's when being a cross dresser was also being label a homosexual. That was a very confusing time for me. It took decades to accept myself. An, what is that? A man who likes to wear women's garments on occasion and emulate a woman. I am content to be at the level of cross dressing that I engage in. I am an in-home cross dresser, who has on occasion ventured outside the home. I am comfortable acting like today. I am dolled up and doing domestic chores while my wife is a work. I suspect you run into few cross dressers like me in relation to the numbers perceived to be among society because we are comfortable being at home or just plain scared of being outed.

PS: I love your presentations on your Flickr page-really nice body. If I looked as nice as you do, I'd probably be out and about more.

[carhill2mn]

Even though I present as a woman abut 90% of the time I would not consider transitioning.

[Kris Avery]

Yes, I think I must be the odd one here (yep, that was easy to say - at least for me - more on this in a minute).

I believe there are no binary states to the natural human condition - no matter what subject we are discussing.
If there were, I think people would find it easy to identify with and easily fall into a "slot". Boy, girl, boy only loves girl, boy only loves boy, etc.
TRUE/FALSE, YES/NO, see how easy that type of question is: in comparison?

Keep in mind that people do like to [and have a innate need to] classify, quantify, and even segregate - well, everything, on this planet (even if this is just cans of vegetables in the pantry).
This is just the way human brains are wired. There is no shame in it unless we apply it to the wrong thing and classify other humans - then it can become politically incorrect.

Who just randomly mixes items in their pantry? And if they do, they eventually have to throw all of it out and start fresh - because they can't find anything and it's all out-of-date.
It may have all started by sorting nuts in the hunter/gatherer stages. Well, we are still sorting out the nuts aren't we?:o


Back to the discussion:
I have strong TS feelings - but the clear limit for me of any type of transition would be to not call the plumber.:heehee:

I am happy 'enough' (for me) with a very clearly female brain and very clearly a 'male' body.
As they say "I can live with that". So long as I can modify the male body to be in a more female form which I find desirable.
Shaving, waxing, and a few other odd things have made it tolerable - and myself a much happier person in the process.
My SO will totally agree this is the case.

So, I must disagree with some others: I believe you can have true TS feelings with GD - and yet not want to call the plumber - ever.

Final thought for the day: my grandpa always said "son....don't fix it if it isn't broken" :devil:

I will close my two cents - with the fact that I respect others feelings :hugs: - these are my opinions and thoughts alone.

[Naomi Rayne]

I agree with Wendy O on the mix and match thing. Humans do have some need to organize things and i wish things were less organized. I would never alter myself physically through drugs or surgery because i am completely comfortable being a guy and dressing up or expressing my feminine side. I do wish things could be a bit more mixed up without having to have such dire consequences when it came to real life situations. To use a small but effective example as i sit here typing this out my nails happen to be painted purple because a little while ago i was dressed up. Soon the color has to come off because i need to go to a college class and be professional and what not. Going with purple nails would not only get me judged by multiple people but if this was work or something more important then a class it could impact much more then just judgement.

[Alex Dorset]

This is the typical problem of surveys and data analysis and tests - biased populations. You ask a group who go to meetings for TS and you hear one answer. You go to a site for crossdressers and you hear a different answer. Sources state 6-10% of men have worn women's clothing and 1% want to be women. Maya, did you post this same question in the TS section? Not everyone in this section is just a CDer, but the vast majority, as you can see, are. Most are heterosexual, but not all. Do you go to a courtroom and ask who is a lawyer and base opinions on how many lawyers are there in this country? No. But you are not alone in those who don't consider this when making decisions on the data they have.
But welcome to the group of wonderful, opinionated people
Ellen
Very perceptive comments - it depends who you ask!

I have wondered before whether CD/TS is a single spectrum or 2 distinct states of mind that might appear similar to the "outside world". From my very limited experience, it seems to me that they are distinct conditions: the trans-sexual person thinks "I'm a woman in a man's body" (or vice versa) whereas a cross-dresser thinks "I want to look like a woman" (or like a man). Obviously those are simplistic caricatures, but I hope you can see the distinction I'm trying to make. Now, I can see that there will be spectra within those 2 situations, but they seem to me to be importantly different. (I'll bet there's a thread about this already, somewhere...)

For myself, well, I seem to fit the local norm (on this forum!) I enjoy cross-dressing, I've occasionally wondered what it might be like to inhabit a female mind and body, but I've never thought of myself as anything other than a bloke who enjoys dressing up.

[Michelle colson]

I go back and forth on this one. I'm basically happy as a man and enjoy "manly" activities but I also long to dress more often. I think if I could magically start over life as a GG I would, but i wouldn't want to try and transition either.

[DonnaT]

Never had any interest in transitioning.

Although OK with my male self, I'd be more OK if I lost 90 lbs. ;)

[Badwolf]

For me the only reason to follow any of the "transition" path, would be to attain certain qualities that would help me do what I like to do. To see the different sides of me I want to see. I'm already taking care of my skin and doing a lot of other things to attain this, but theres somethings that just won't come without some procedures reserved for TS's.

As for having an overwhelming desire to be a woman, I've never had that. I enjoy myself as a male (and not because I'm too heavily invested in it either). I've done a lot of soul searching and I like performing in bed as a male, being both dominant and submissive.

I have no issues transitioning either if I wanted to, and am not currently transitioning.

So I am definitely fine being "just a CD", if we see it as binary, but to be honest I'm a bit more than that, but not a TS either.

That magical switching pill would be awesome though, especially if I can take it every few weeks. :)

[bimini1]

Once upon a time I thought I might be a candidate for TS. Not now. That was back when I was just really starting to dress, go out with other CDs, etc. Now if I could come back to this world I'd ask God if she'd let me come back a real woman. But in this reality, no.
Hell after 3 days en femme I'm just about ready to get out of it. Interesting piece over at tg forum about being in the closet. Going out discreetly but not revealing yourself to extended family, work. The girl was saying to do that would mean the end of her femme self. She actually needed the closet to exist. I feel some parallels there.

[susan54]

I spend only around 30 hours a week dressed in male clothes (but underwear is women's). Apart from the clothes, there is nothing I envy about women - I prefer to relate to women as a man. I love dressing up and interacting with women too, though. But it is all an act - I never actually think of myself as a woman and I am perfectly happy for people to know I am a man. I am lucky that I have nice legs and a good figure, but I also look good in menswear - all I need to do is add boobs - I can do all the rest including the walk in heels.

I have used this analogy before, but not for a while. I am a gender tourist. I am like someone who loves visiting France, speaking French, moving like the French, smelling like the French, dressing and eating like the French, and love it if someone assumes I AM French, but I do not want to live there or become a French citizen. The clothes are wonderful, but they are just a costume.

[jeank]

To use a small but effective example as i sit here typing this out my nails happen to be painted purple because a little while ago i was dressed up. Soon the color has to come off because i need to go to a college class and be professional and what not. Going with purple nails would not only get me judged by multiple people but if this was work or something more important then a class it could impact much more then just judgement.

That is so much a dilemma in my brain. I have no desire at all to transition, but I do love having painted nails, and hate having to clean it off just because I have to go out (and it's too warm to wear gloves). This struck a real chord.

But it just means I'm a guy who likes painting his nails and wishes it was something he could do when in drab as well as drag.

[ShannonIL]

absolutely. I have *no* desire to transition. Every once in a while, I like to wear a dress.. Whatever! :)

[Donnagirl]

Yep, I certainly fit into the no transition camp. I'm just a boy who dresses like a girl occasionally, but I am a boy and happy to stay that way.

[Barbara Dugan]

I am not really sure about transitioning, I have think about it and is something that is always there..... since early age I always have feel different respect about gender, it is hard to describe but is more like something in between not happy being a guy but not sure if becoming a full woman will be the right decision on the meantime I just want to be a much better transvestite

[Suzanne F]

I am one of the cross dressers who admitted I am TS. I know for most people here dressing is enough. I finally faced the fact I hid from all of my life. I knew from the age of 5 that I felt left out when it came to girls. I knew I should have been in their group not the boys. I did everything I could to make that go away. I became the best boy I could but the feelings never went away. When I started dressing it was like i finally came home. I cried when I had to go back to my male self. It's not about the clothes but rather the way I feel in the world. I do agree with Isha. This is not a black and white answer. There are degrees. I have cross dressing friends that are closer to me and others that are very different than me as far as TS. Finally, I envy you if you can dress and also feel fulfilled in your male life. I will eventually have to hurt my wife when I transition. I hate facing that decision. We have and will share many tears down this path.
Hugs
Suzanne

[darla_g]

i am very comfortable with my male side, but i like to dress too!

On the transgender continuum that stretches from simply slipping on a pair of panties every now and then to those who need to transition their sex I see my stop coming up here. I am a CD and that's where i get off.

[Valerie Sparks]

Right now society sees me as male though I underdress daily and when I have time alone I'm me. But if society (and, more importantly, my wife) were OK with me presenting myself as either male or female then I'd probably be about 90% female and 10% male. I don't think I'd get any surgery done but I would probably pay for laser hair removal. So does that make me CD or TS? I'm not sure I know.

[susangirl]

YES YES. YES. I am glade I'm a man. I just love dressing up as Susan in the soft and silky clothing women get to enjoy. Being out in public dressed as a women and getting away with it is such a high. The look, the walk, the make up, the effort you have to put in to look and act like a woman. I love every min but at the end of the day I need to be a man.

[vicky_cd99_2]

I too have had all the thoughts of could I transition. The answer is a simple no. I look in the mirror at the ax handle wide shoulders. The large frame, my chiropractor says it is the largest he has seen. I know it would never work. Those things and the thought of losing my best friend of almost 40 years keep transitioning off the table. Even though she loves me for who I am and I can dress when I want sort of. I can live with it. Although I would love to have my own boobs and not have to wear forms.

[Tammietoo]

I do love to dress, (and wish I could do it more often :daydreaming:) but I also love my "regular" man life and I have no desire to actually transition.

[~Joanne~]

Are there crossdressers out there who really feel comfortable in just being a part time crossdresser with no desire to transition?

I am. I have no desire to go any further than where I am now, unless you count getting out of the house more lol

[lisalove]

I've been dressing since i found my first pair of panties while walking to school at the age of 5. I'm 48 now, and I'm quite content (sp) with who I am. I've never ever considered transistioning. Matter of the thought has never crossed my mind. I have no desires to be a woman.

[Cara Lacey]

I have never had any desire to transition into a woman. I am a crossdresser... A man who occasionally likes to wear women's clothes.

[kimdl93]

I would hope that the abundance of responses has helped clear up your misconception. If these testimonies aren't sufficient, perhaps the professional opinion of my gender therapist will. To paraphrase her, the vast majority of cross dressers are satisfied with occasional dressing. Only a very small percentage ever choose to live full time as women.

[wanda66]

I just enjoy dressing . T S would be trying to become someone I am not

[flatlander_48]

* Yes *

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Maya, I really have the best of both worlds for over 67yrs. now and that's how I like it.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I like to dress. the last thing I would want to be would be a woman


I have no desire to be a woman, but it's not the last thing I would want. Fer example, I'd rather be an alive woman than a dead man



I am a crossdresser. For me, I have no interest in transitioning. Being a guy most of the time is fine.


If I transitioned, would I have to throw like a girl? I don't feel like a girl inside, and have no need to become one. There are too many things I like about being a guy to transition. And even if I did transition, who's to say I'd become the girl of my dreams.



Let's keep this short, sweet and simple. :p

I'm a CD. The last 30+ years.. I have often wondered if I was a TS. Then I realized that I'm perfectly happy the way I am.. and thus concluded I'm not a TS.. and don't need to transition.


Natassia: You present so well. I wish I had the freedom to do things that would help me present better. But, if I did any of those things, my wife would hire a lawyer.

My fantasy would be able to switch bodies back and forth on command. I just don't want to get stuck in an F body, because then I'd have to spend most of my time as an FtM.

[Jilmac]

I love to dress and present myself in feminine mode, and I have fantasized about actually being a girl but in reality I'm a crossdresser who is satisfied being male.

[Tinkerbell-GG]

... I've occasionally wondered what it might be like to inhabit a female mind and body...

We're erratic and emotional and driven half mad by ever-changing hormones, or so my H would tell you.

Does this help?? :)

[sometimes_miss]

Having the desire to be female, and wanting to do things that lead to transitioning and SRS, does not mean that you SHOULD. It's always easy to just say, go with your feelings, because if it feels right, then it is right.
That's wrong. One must dig deeper, and find out where the feelings are coming from, and what the cause is. Let me give an example.
You have a nice, big lunch. One hour later, you walk past a restaurant that serves bar-b-que roasted ribs, and they have their door open because it's such a nice day. Now, you can smell it. Your mouth waters. You want to eat some nice, juicy, tender spare ribs.
Doesn't mean you should. The desire to eat has nothing to do with hunger. Your mind is just influenced by outside stimuli.
Same with crossdressing. Unless you really know why you're inclined to do it, there's no way to know if you're actually TS or not. Just having an overwhelming urge to do it is not enough. Sure, there have been men out there who were absolutely miserable as males, deeply depressed, who felt that they couldn't live anymore unless they transitioned. And so their psychologists went ahead, gave them the O.K., and they transitioned. And were still depressed. Some even suicidal. So it's really, really important to take the time to investigate everything you feel in order to understand where the desires are coming from.

I know. I've been there. There was a time when I was absolutely sure that I was transsexual; I saw no other explanation for what I was feeling, and all the facts that I had up to that point supported the idea that I was really a girl on the inside. But I was wrong.
Am I comfortable being a crossdresser? Well, no. It screws up my life. But transitioning would screw it up even more.

[Wildaboutheels]

It's an easy verified FACT that over 99% of the CDers on the planet are CDing hobbyists.

Unless of course, you believe all those other CDing sites are fictitious?

At this Forum, many are all too willing to jump on the "I would transition in a New York minute if I could" bandwagon. I am only guessing, but if someone can go weeks, months or years w/o dressing, transitioning is probably ONLY going to make them a lot poorer but likely no happier.

But does it really matter what the actual ratio is?

And does it really matter that the vast majority of CDers by far, [also easily verified] are MtF?

No, not really, but it DOES answer that silly Q "WHY do I do this" that so many refuse to accept.

It's not complicated.

[JessicaJHall]

I'd have to get my hands replaced, my shoulders and ribcage reduced, laser hair removal, botox and a facelift just to go out on my deck, but even then, I'd still be Julie's host person 95% of the time... he's pretty good at most guy stuff, and is quite well adjusted.. if you don't count the Julie part... no, now that I think of it, I'm pretty well adjusted too, we've been coexisting quite well for 58 years.

[Eryn]

It's a spectrum, from the underdressers on one end to the transitioners at the other. Like any spectrum it is generally described by a bell curve with only the far thin end of the curve occupied by TS people. The majority of TG people occupy the middle "fat" part of the bell curve and don't intend to transition.

That's not to say that CDers don't have any interest in transitioning. For many of us it has a certain fascination, kind of like that green grass on the other side of the fence has for the cattle.

[Kiwi Primrose]

CD only for me - fulltime lingerie and as much femme outerwear as suitable, nail polish, perfume, ear-ring. Parttime skirts, heels, etc.
I am interested in transexuality, ladyboys, and other variations but not for myself.

[Amanda M]

With you, Maya - but whatever floats someone's boat!

[Adriana Moretti]

I too have no desire to transition. Sure I love to dress, actually to me it goes much deeper than the clothes, but still...no desire to change. I like me just fine and I am comfortable as a guy who wears a dress, I accept me for me..I also love the guy side just as much...sports and beer kinda thing.

[Lynn Marie]

I'm fairly active in the Northwest Washington transgender community and successful transitions are very rare here. Far too often even just starting hormone therapy becomes a disaster. We just had a funeral service for the latest CD pursuing the transition solution.

I don't feel that transitioning is the ultimate expression of CDing at all. Being totally comfortable and well adjusted in this adventure is!

[mariehart]

Just want to hit on a couple of points you made:

a) transition if they could, but cannot for various reasons; b) on their way to transitioning.
I'm fall under a), it's fair to say that anyone who can say they are either a) or b) are in fact TS and not CDs at all. The difficulty for many and it was an extreme difficulty for me is coming to terms with the reality of who you are. It's so much easier for a TS to characterise what they do as simply crossdressing and dismiss the rest. Facing it is extremely hard and it drove me close to the edge, literally in my case. I looked down for a long time.

Someone else said, if you're TS you'll find a way of transitioning. That's not true not everyone has the opportunity, the strength or the ability to go through with it. I admire those who do.


Could it be that we want what we cannot have? More like for many a TS is that what we need we cannot have.


I meet alot of gurls who really don't see themselves as just garden variety crossdressers, like myself. They want more. And I find that amazing simply because I feel like there is no one like me who just says, "hey, I like to wear women's clothes and that's it". It is more than that for them -- they want to be women.It's been said many times there is no one size fits all, indeed you see it in this very thread. There is a spectrum, indeed there is a world of difference between a TS and a man who likes to wear items of women's clothes. We get lumped together somehow but in truth there is little in common. In the middle there's plenty of variety.

I actually find it amazing that there are men like you who like to wear women's clothes and have no interest in being a woman!

It works both ways doesn't it?

[Kaitlyn Michele]

You have to separate out what you are doing from who you are...

Who you are is subject to all the internal dialog that sloshes around our brains and for lots of folks that includes negative feelings that are coped with in various ways.... there are so many ways to lie to yourself.

I can pretty much guarantee that at least one of you will get run over by a truck that shines a spotlight on your lifetime of discomfort and causes you to realize that what you are doing is about your authentic true self and if that happens, you will be treated to a slow train ride to hell until you transition or figure out a way to live a meaningful life without transitioning...the good news is that most of you wont have to deal with it..

I can imagine that transsexuality is viewed as the ultimate form of crossdressing but that is offensive and insensitive to transsexuals(and we have a rep for being very sensitive!!!LOL)
By simple definition crossdressing is about men dressing as, emulating and presenting as women...even "living" as women for periods of time... its still men...

Consider that fantasizing about transitioning is no different than fantasizing about being a woman... the big difference being that fantasizing about transsexuality is theoretically achievable.

[CarlaWestin]

Gosh, I read every post. Here's a thought. I've come to the conclusion that I'm a crossdresser and really wouldn't want the reality of full transition. But, what about partial transition? If I were single and retired, I would certainly entertain the idea of partial transition. Breast and derriere implants, hormone therapy, permanent make up, etc. Yep, fantasyland again.

[Eringirl]

Well, it looks like I am in the minority here....If I was 20 years younger, I would seriously consider transitioning, at least investigating the possibility and the process. However, I am now content with not transitioning. Having said that, I wear female underclothes everyday, my nails are long and always done, and carry my "murse" with me everywhere I go. I am looking into piercing both my ears and laser beard removal. Is this not a type of transitioning?? I am not saying I will do ears and laser treatment as I am working on finding the "sweet spot" of what I can do daily that allows me to thrive, my wife to thrive and us as a couple to thrive. I think we just about have it figured out. So, as Carla posted, transitioning may also have "sliding scale" ???

Just me...

Erin

[Kaitlyn Michele]

I hear what you are saying but words matter and
no that is not a form of transitioning.... transition is transition.

think about it, and try to describe what a partial transition is.. transition to what?? a partial woman? it doesn't really mean anything if you think about it

what you are doing is feminizing yourself.....alot!!hehe
People that transition do that as well but transition is not about feminization...it just helps the transition ..lots of manly transitioners out there..

i whole heartedly agree that being content is the name of the game .. and perhaps saying something like you are partially transitioning may help you in some way..... reading your post don't be surprised if you end up transitioning someday...and if you do, you will very clearly see what i'm saying..

btw the last two people i said that to are now transitioning...so look out because

if...I was younger
I would....

becomes

if ....(the gd hits)
you will... (transition)

[Eringirl]

Hi Kaitlyn: point taken....partial woman....okay, I must admit, I did laugh out loud on that one! :roflmao:

So, perhaps wrong choice of words....perhaps CD is a sliding scale. Given others have pierced ears and had laser treatments and are confirmed CD, I am more in that camp. But I think I am still a work in progress...

:confused:

Erin

[Danielle_cder]

Yep pretty content just being a cd;)

[Finally Happy]

I love having both worlds! Work as a guy and dress when I want. Sometimes daily and usually on weekends.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Thanks for the response Erin..its all good and like I said, its all about finding the right place for you! Hopefully you are right there!!

[Leslie Langford]

maya, please forgive my ignorance in this regard, but on your flickr page, you state unequivocally that you are a gay crossdresser and are looking for a serious long-term relationship with a man. This is a rather significant fact about yourself that you didn't include in you O.P.

Correct me if I am wrong, but it has always been my understanding that crossdressing usually takes on a far different meaning for gay individuals as opposed to heterosexual ones. For example, drag queens are almost universally gay, typically claim that wearing women's clothes and/or costumes does nothing for them erotically, and that performing in drag is simply a "job" for them.

Since you are gay yet still presenting as a woman whenever you can for its own rewards, wouldn't this by default place you closer to the TS end of the spectrum and have you approach this "desire to transition" conundrum from a very different perspective than the other respondents here? Most of them have stated unequivocally that they are completely heterosexual in their sexual orientation despite their admitted feminine proclivities and love for women's clothing, and hence have absolutely no desire to transition.

[abbyleigh001]

abby is my comfort zone... I am able to relax and be free from the issues and stresses of the world... however there are also times for my maleness... In other-words I am gender fluid with a preference for abby...

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

At this point in my life I'm comfortable being a CD and able to dress every day since I'm retired and have limited public contact. This is a tough question though. For me I would probably be very comfortable after transitioning and just get it over with. If I were younger (maybe a late teen or early 20's) in today's world and have all the money and energy needed I would probably do it. Of course sexuality would [play into this. I know I could have a relationship with a man and if things worked out I'd get married. I already had a nice relationship with a friend who was a CD and transitioned. We enjoyed some intimate times together and it felt right because we were and still are very close friends.

Today is a different story though. I'm married to a fine lady who also considers me as somewhat of a sister and while our sex life has become less important, we still enjoy our lives the way they are. For me to be dressed just about all the time it's a normal part of our lives. Still, I would love to experience being completely a woman and may regret someday not acting on it. All I know is that to transition, it is a lot of hard work with many implications that would be too stressful for me, so I make the best of it.

Cheryl

[PaulaQ]

For me I would probably be very comfortable after transitioning and just get it over with. If I were younger (maybe a late teen or early 20's) in today's world and have all the money and energy needed I would probably do it.

Yeah, the trouble is, most teens / early 20's transitioners are dirt poor. A fair number of them do sex work to survive / fund their transition. Very few people get an easy path through transition. Sucks, but it's the truth.

[NANNETTE]

I have wanted to be a girl since I was a very small child. When I started school when I was five I longed to a girl. I used to fantasise about it almost every night. I felt the same way as a teenager. I am fifty four now and I still wish I had been born a girl, I don't think it will ever happen though as my family and friends would never accept me. I think it is possible for a crossdresser like me to have a desire to be the opposite sex but not actually be a transsexual. I really think I should have been born a girl but on the other hand I have no real dislike of my male side and I don't have a hatred for my genitalia. However, if I explained my feelings to a therapist and was told that that I was a transsexual I would not be totally surprised.

[PaulaQ]

@Nannette - I can relate to a lot of the things you say, but not all of them. You sound like someone who'd be a candidate for transition. You DO NOT have to have GCS to transition and be a woman.

As for your family and friends not accepting you - yeah, that happens a lot. But people will surprise you, and you may well find that some people are very accepting. If not, you'll make new friends, and likely find a new family in the trans community. Depending on your profession, you can also lose your career - I know people who've lost everything.

Whether relief from the discomfort you feel from your lifelong gender dysphoria is worth the risk of transition, only you can say. For me it was.

[maya1love]

maya, please forgive my ignorance in this regard, but on your flickr page, you state unequivocally that you are a gay crossdresser and are looking for a serious long-term relationship with a man. This is a rather significant fact about yourself that you didn't include in you O.P.

Correct me if I am wrong, but it has always been my understanding that crossdressing usually takes on a far different meaning for gay individuals as opposed to heterosexual ones. For example, drag queens are almost universally gay, typically claim that wearing women's clothes and/or costumes does nothing for them erotically, and that performing in drag is simply a "job" for them.

Since you are gay yet still presenting as a woman whenever you can for its own rewards, wouldn't this by default place you closer to the TS end of the spectrum and have you approach this "desire to transition" conundrum from a very different perspective than the other respondents here? Most of them have stated unequivocally that they are completely heterosexual in their sexual orientation despite their admitted feminine proclivities and love for women's clothing, and hence have absolutely no desire to transition.

Hi Leslie, thanks for the interesting question. It is true that because I have always been attracted to men (I've never been with a woman!), I have struggled in my 20s with whether I might be closer to a TS. Now, in my early 40s (ahem!), the truth is that I still see myself as being a feminine crossdresser. I have some feminine sensibilities about me, but I would still see myself closest to being a crossdresser. I relate to the pleasures of dressing just the same as my heterosexual counterparts, and I have similar fantasies. I liked what Isha said earlier when she said that we shouldn't see this as a binary discussion -- a person being either a cd or a ts. I admit that I am probably more transgendered than being a crossdresser, but not much different really. And, I have no real angst about being a man who crossdresses a few times a month. The only difference is that the object of my attraction is a man, who is comfortable being with me as a man, or occasionally dressed as a woman. Finally, let me add in that I am allowed to be a more feminine man within the gay community of a major city than many of my straight crossdresser counterparts. Therefore, there is less need for me to think about needing to be either "this or that". Make sense?

To the rest of the posters, again, I thank you for your valuable comments to this post!

[Leslie Langford]

Appreciate the clarification, maya, and I guess that your perceptive self-analysis demonstrates yet again that one size doesn't necessarily fit all, that one's biological sex, sexual orientation, and gender identity are subject to numerous permutations and combinations, and that while we here share much that is common, we are also still individuals with our own particular "quirks" within the larger CD/TG/TS framework.

May I also add that I am pleased for you that you have managed to carve out a niche for yourself that appears to work for you, and if those fabulous pics that you have posted on your flickr page are any indication, you certainly don't lack for acceptance or an active social life. :)

[weyburn]

Have cd off and on for years,
If I was many years younger I would fully transition
Am waitlisted for breast implant surgery so partial transition for me is as good as it is going to get for me

[trisha kobichenko]

I feel I am smack dab in the middle of the gender identification scale. I enjoyed playing football, still enjoy teaching and training in traditional Karate, lifting weights, and riding my motorcycle, all as a male. I also enjoy cross-dressing and indulging in female pursuits as they interest me. Seems like the best of both worlds...no transition plans. :)

[Charla McBee]

If you asked me a couple of years ago when I first joined this site, I'd have insisted that I was just a guy who enjoys crossdressing. I recently looked over those early posts however and looking back I can just see the denial, the refusal to accept obvious signs. I was describing my feelings in much the same way as I do now, only now I am firmly in the TG camp. I still don't know if I'd ever transition but honestly it has been on my mind all along.

[The Optimist]

I've only recently re-opened my interest in CD and with the help a new friend, I am exploring it much further than before. I don't think I identify myself as very girly yet and don't know if I will do; it's a journey at the minute. I just like the feel of the clothes and the acceptance and attention I receive from my new friend :). I have no desire really to transition, I find it fun, scary and exciting to experiment and push the boundaries of rigid gender roles.

[Abbyru1]

I'd be delighted to change genders at will with fully functioning equipment to boot. But if I could do that ,I wouldn't need to transition. That would be very cool. But that happens only in fiction. I am a crossdresser because I like the feel and fit of women's clothing and shoes from the skin out. I could not pass to save myself in a fog and dress
only for myself- a big reason why I dress only in my home. More power to those of you who get outside and can pass as female and to those of you who are transitioning or who have. I am very jealous.
But on the other hand, I can be me and not have to meet any expectations, so I'll remain just a crossdresser!

[carahawkwind]

I like my boring straight guy life and the stability and comfort it provides and I like the escapism that my occasional dressing provides from that and I think I would lose that part of dressing up if I did it more. For me it's a good balance right now that I'd rather not change, other than maybe going out a little more dressed.

[Claire Cook]

I'll admit that growing up I wanted to be a girl, and at one point considered transitioning. But not very seriously -- this was at a nadir in my life and career. Like Natcrys, I now have the best of both worlds. Sure I have some of the trappings -- pierced ears, shaved bod, clear nail polish most of the time -- but these are things that just make me feel more comfortable as a woman. Transition? Not for me, 'tho I may be far along on the TG spectrum. There are just too many things on both sides of the gender fence to do!

[Seana Summer]

My vote is for the part time CD who has NO desire to transition. Sometimes on this site it seems most are transitioning and It really gives me a lift to again confirm that there are so many others like me out there who just like to dress up once in a while.

If your wondering why I think it is so important to make it known that I don't want to transition it is because I have read several threads here and other places from GGs that are scared to death that their mate is going to turn into a women. I don't believe that CDing leads to transitioning. I think that is as big of a myth as all Crossdressers are gay! I hate to think of the panic that may be coming over a GG who is trying to figure out why her mate likes to dress and is assuming first he is gay and then he is on the way to transitioning.


Sorry I have not logged in in a few days and didn't weigh in sooner. I have been rather busy tending to my man side....without regret, unhappiness, or any other ill feelings toward being an ordinary, straight, only part of the time crossdressing, man.

[Beverley Sims]

I feel a cross dresser does not have the resolve to transition.
Transitioning is something that comes from deep in the heart and is already wired into the person who will make that decision.

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

If your wondering why I think it is so important to make it known that I don't want to transition it is because I have read several threads here and other places from GGs that are scared to death that their mate is going to turn into a women. I


Seanna, I have a very close friend I met a long time ago. We crossdressed together and went out a few times and spent time at each other's home dressed. "John" moved away with his wife. They have no children. Both, before marrying, were in group therapy when "John" discussed his feelings about being transexual. Nothing really came of that and he enjoyed his crossdressing all along with the support of his wife. Well, about 8 years ago "John's" wife contacted me to say that he became suicidal and almost made that happen. Just over 7 years ago, John celebrated a new birthday as "Jane." Both are in their 50's and remain married. "Jane" has a great job that's physical in nature and both have never been happier. For the most part "Jane's" family has abandoned her but she could care less at this point. She still is married to her wife. We've discussed that aspect. Even my own wife assures me it's okay to take myself to any level. But that's a different story. I'm just giving an example that there is no black and white in every situation.

Cheryl

[MariaA]

Well I would have to say that I am happy and that although I may not pass for a true female, I don't have the desire or need to transition. There is always the thought and wonder however, I am good. To add I think it is awesome when I hear about or see people transition. It has to be a very liberating journey, hard but liberating. I have the up most respect for everybody in our lifestyle.

[Anne2345]

btw the last two people i said that to are now transitioning...

@Eringirl - You do not know it yet, Erin, but Kaitlyn has just sealed your fate. So you may as well pack up all of your things, head on over to the TS section, take your lumps, and get it over with. Because you are now officially doomed! Doomed, I say!!! DOOOOOMMMMMED!!! Muuuuuahahahahahahahahhaha!!! :devil:

Yup. Totally doomed. :tongueout

So sorry. So very sorry. But better luck next time . . . . :evilbegon

[MissTee]

I simply love to dress, and I have no desire to transition.

[Lexi Moralas]

I'm a part time cd with no interest in transitioning

[Vanessa5]

I am coming to a crossroads with my dressing. I feel like I want to transition but I have too much other things to consider it possible. i used to think just dressing would be fine and I was happy with it up until recently. Now I am not sure what I want.

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

Vanessa, a lot depends upon your resolve to let's say, "make things right." This has to be the toughest decision anyone can make. For myself I have come to many realizations about what would be right for me. But then again reality and practicality begin to emerge to tell us that we somehow can't. I can understand anyone's true transexual feelings where it's really a do-or-die situation. I have a great friend who was faced with that, and she is now very happy. Only you can sort that out for yourself and with a therapist. My therapist has helped me to find happy mediums that are acceptable in my life.

Cheryl

[AngelaYVR]

Happy the way I am. I love dressing up and recognise that I have masculine and feminine qualities in perfect harmony, not going to mess with a good thing!

Angela xx

[Tina_gm]

I personally cannot envision myself transitioning. Thinking about all it entails, both the physical aspects and what would likely happen in regards to my work, friends, the community I live in, my wife and children, all which would be impacted greatly and with almost all of it, negatively for me. That alone makes the very idea of transitioning not desirable at all to me. Along with the fact that I would likely feel similarly to how I do now, but in the opposite. Yes, there are times I wish I was a woman, times where I wish I was born as one. But times when I am glad I wasn't and am not.

[Andrea Payer]

i'm perfectly content as a man and i've never thought of transitioning. crossdressing is just a hobby

[Joni T]

I like myself just the way I am.
Joni

[Renee Elise]

No desire whatsoever to transition. I like being a guy most of the time and being able to enjoy femininity sometimes. I'd never want to give up my male persona. I feel that being myself constitutes both the guy and being Renee when I feel girly.

[Susie Mack]

Although I may have given the thought of transitioning some thought in the past, age and circumstances have removed that option and, truthfully, I'm ok with that. If I knew 30 years ago what I know now, I might have considered it much more thoroughly.

Hugs,

Susie

[Michelle789]

Very few people get an easy path through transition. Sucks, but it's the truth.

The reality is that most young transitioners are dirt poor, often lose their families, and a good many have to resort to sex work to survive and fund transition. Many of them may get stuck in a life of prostitution and drugs, others will move beyond that and live promising lives after enduring years of brutal transition.

And older transitioners although they usually have money saved up in the bank to help them survive and fund transition, most lose their wife. Many lose some or all of their kids. Some lose entire careers. Others lose jobs but not careers. Some lose houses, cars, money saved in the bank.

So it doesn't matter what age you transition. People who transition at different ages just face different hurdles. Regardless of age, everyone faces discrimination and threads of physical violence because of being trans.





Transsexuals do not finds excuses to not transition. They find ways to make it happen.

Not necessarily. I am TS, and I fought it tooth and nail for 34 years. I had every desire to be a girl since I was age 5, and felt like I was a girl on the inside all my life. I still thought I was just a crossdresser and that I could go on living as a male, and tried to make every excuse not to transition.

Now that I have accepted myself as being TS, I no longer make excuses not to transition.

I personally know of many TS women who fought themselves tooth and nail for decades, and made every excuse not to transition, until one day they accepted themselves and started finding ways to make it happen.


Most CDers will never transition. However, I believe that most CDers do have a milder version of gender dysphoria. GD that has not progressed, and will most likely never progress, to the extremes of where transition is necessary.

[Janine cd]

I have asked the same question many times before. There was a time when I would have done anything to transition,but my life situation would not allow it. Now I am content to live part time as a female and deal with it.

[CastleCD907]

You know this is a great question and I myself am a CD who definitely does not plan on transitioning. I work in a primarily female workplace and I honestly get enough feminine interaction to keep the need to go through the transformation. I enjoy my time as a guy and definitely don't have the funds to go through a full transition. Luckily I've gotten a lot better at make-up and being as passable as possible and it also helps that my male counterpart who enjoys me intimately helps provide clothes, makeup and wigs to keep me feminine. But overall I do not believe that most CD's will transition unless they have a very supportive group of people supporting them through the transition.

[charlenesomeone]

If you really think of transitioning, read the transsexual forum.
Also google srs surgery. Not what it seems. Most true TS seem to say they
need to do it, for them its right. Takes lots of counseling from what I read.
If you like boy you in any way, however slight, CD is where it is.
Hugs

[Raychel]

No desire at all to transition, just a guy here that happens to prefer to dress in
womens clothes, I don't even need the makeup and wig, just dress like I feel best.
I would dress more if life would allow, but no need to transition, I am happy being me.

[Marcelle]

Thought I would weigh in with a bit more comment. There are some responses which imply those with GD will ultimately transition . . . I would have to disagree as it really depends on the level of GD. I have been working with a gender therapist ever since Isha came smashing into my life a year ago. Yes, I am what many would consider a classic cross dresser in that I dress and present part-time as the opposite gender. However, we (my therapist and I) both agree that I have mild GD in that being Isha is integral to my psyche. Specifically I need to be her from time to time to function in life. Now here is the rub. When we had this revelation during a session (we played the therapist / patient cat and mouse game for months) she asked me would I consider transitioning at which point I thought and said "no". When she asked me why I replied that if I were to transition, then I would be right back where I was a year ago only then I would have no "male" identity and would most likely have to resort to CDing FtM to bring balance so I could function.

All this to say, it is possible to have GD without having the need to transition. I embrace my male self as much as I embrace my female self . . . it doesn't have to be all or none for me and suspect there are others who feel similar. :battingeyelashes:

Hugs

Isha

[Maria Blackwood]

Private, simple crossdressing is my happy place on the spectrum.

That being said, if there was advanced sex change technology in existence I would consider it. And by "advanced" I mean something out of a John Varley science fiction novel. In the book "Golden Globes" his main character changes gender in the middle of the novel from male to female. The required female organs are cloned from his own genetic material and surgically implanted while the male bits are removed. We find out later the character was originally born female, so the medical tech allows multiple swaps. Total fantasy, but with current trends in cloning and stem cells and whatnot I could see it happening, oh, 100 years from now, maybe?

[CherylFlint]

I’ve been a CD since the day I was born, and been “dressing” and going out in public and actually “passing” for 30 years and at no time did I ever think about doing any more than I’ve been doing.
No way.
I was in the Navy and never got a tattoo, and the same mind-set applies here.

[Karen kc]

I am a cd and nothing else, I dont want to transition, just being me! Ive got enough probs just trying to be a good man! lol Maybe Im just a rebel----in a dress

[BillieAnneJean]

I am a CDer. I can say with total certainty, being the one person most familiar with me, that I have NO interest whatsoever in transitioning, or going 24/7.
FOR ME it would be like eating ice cream for every meal. Pretty soon I would pray that the freezer would fail.
Or like a very long vacation when I look forward to returning to work.
No, the times I get to be a guy make the times I get to "be a girl" all that more sweeter. And the times I get to "be a girl" make the times I get to be a guy all that more sweeter. And now I get to choose.
But if I transitioned then I would, FOR ME, be stuck in one gender.
No I will never transition.
Besides, I like being the guy in the guy/gal relationship with my SO.
This is in no way an opinion on those who will, are, or have transitioned. They have my respect and understanding.
But that is not for everyone.
Certainly not me.
I am very happy where I am at. I am very grateful for the life I have with my SO.

And I am having SUCH FUN!

[DebbieL]

If the magic fairy came to me and said "drink this magic potion and you will be a beautiful young woman in every way, and people will simply accept you as a woman, but you can never turn back into a man. I'd have chugged it without hesitation.

That being said, for most of my life, I've "settled" for being a cross-dresser. Until I was in my early 20s, sex changes were illegal in most of the United States, and those doctors who did do them charged more than the price of a luxury home for an operation that left you with a numb clitoris, and not great sensitivity elsewhere. In "Sulka's Wedding", it was possible to see the post-op results and it was pretty easy to see what was missing and what wasn't functioning.

By the 80s, the techiques had improved radically, but it still cost more than a house to get the procedure. I was also married and had a son. Even though the marriage had gone platonic, asexual, and my wife had become abusive, she decided to have sex with me the night after she came home from a male strip club at about 4 AM smelling like an adult movie theater. I pretended to be asleep.

In 1988, after our second child, I finally found an AA sponsor who not only had some experience dealing with transsexual sponsees, but had a friend who was a gender counselor. As a result, "Debbie" did her inventory, and got down to core issues that had been shoved under the table by previous therapists, psychologists, and 12 step sponsors. In October of that year, I went from being a fetish dresser (at home or on the road but always in private) to being a cross-dresser - out in public.

When we went to a marriage counselor and Leslie told him about "Rex's wardrobe problem", he saw me separately and after 3 weeks of grilling questions, he realized that I was not only transsexual, but I'd been lucky to survive as long as I had. He said most people who are as severe as I was killed themselves if they didn't transition by the time they were 30. I was already 34.

I started transition therapy, and was on course to transition when my wife made a credible threat that if I didn't halt the transition, I would never see the kids again, but I'd still have to pay child support. So for the next 16 years I "settled" for being a cross-dresser again.

Then the balance started tipping. A heart attack and a stroke, ending one relationship, and starting a new one with Lee, started to open the doors to thinking about transition. After spending 6 months in Saudi Arabia then spending the winter in Stockholm Sweden, I began to wonder about transition again. My daughter was about to graduate, both my kids knew I was transgendered. I created a Second Life account as a girl, and began to enjoy being a girl in the virtual world. Shortly after that, I waxed off my beard, permanently removing about 90% of my facial hair. I started thinking about losing weight so I could start cross-dressing in public, and I got a facebook account for Debbie. I was surprised at how many of Rex's friends wanted to be Debbie's friend too. Later, I found that most where not at all surprised that I had Debbie inside, I never really passed as a "man" in the first place.

When my father was about to die, he asked me to fly up to see him before he died. I knew it was important, so I flew up. When I got there, the first conversation we had he said "If I can't give you anything else, I want you to be yourself, and if that means being Debbie, be Debbie!". Dad spent the rest of the week getting to know his oldest daughter. At one point, about 2 days before he went, he thought I was my mother. It was so great to know that he loved ME and that I could truly be myself with him, even if only for a week.

My father's death triggered my own thinking. I wasn't getting any younger, and even if I could only be an old lady, maybe that was better than trying to spend whatever time I had left living the lie. When Lee realized what I was doing, she whispered in my ear "I'm not OK with this, you should have talked to me first". I went into a nose-dive emotionally, and ultimately ended up in a psychiatric ward. I agreed to go to more 12 step meetings, and to get with a gender therapist. I saw the therapist alone at first, for about 6 weeks. Then asked Lee to come with me. Lee came to the first session, a little concerned. She said "I understand that Rex is transgendered, but I'm not a Lesbian". At that point, the therapist said "Oh really, tell me what you do with each other in bed?". Lee described our activities together and she smiled and said "And how many man have done those types of things with you?". Lee started laughing very loudly and said "Oh my GOD, I'M BISEXUAL, and I have the perfect girl for me!".

From that point on, Lee became supportive of my transition. She did start taking an active role in helping me choose my wardrobe. We started shopping for nicer clothes that were age appropriate, size appropriate, and appropriate for work or church. It took some of the "Fun" out of the dressing, but on the other hand, I was happier, healthier, and more focused than I had been in a long long time.

I think you make the transition from cross-dresser to transsexual the first time you wake up in the morning and go "I don't want to get all dressed up and do make-up and wear heels", but you do it anyway, because it's an expression of who you really are.

So if the good fairy offered you the magic potion, would you sniff it (transvestite) sip it (cross-dresser), or chug down the whole glass (transsexual).

Chug Chug!

[ophelia]

best of both worlds for me. Current society has unfortunately decided that wonderful hair, scent, makeup and fashion belongs in the "ladies only" box. I think the enjoyment of adornment is essentially human dna and not gender related at all.
But I love women and I'm not about to forsake my plumbing for that.

[Jenny Gurl]

I think your original statement is way off the mark. Those few with whom you have spoken are in the great minority. Transsexuals do not finds excuses to not transition. They find ways to make it happen.

I have no desire to, nor have thoughts of, transition. I'm a guy. I like being a guy. I happen to also be a cross dresser. This is the norm.

Ditto, I could not have said it better.

[Robertacd]

No desire at all to transition, just a guy here that happens to prefer to dress in
womens clothes, I don't even need the makeup and wig, just dress like I feel best.
I would dress more if life would allow, but no need to transition, I am happy being me.

Raychel pretty much summed up my feelings. Although I do enjoy getting all dolled up in makeup and doing my long hair (I dont need a wig) I get plenty of enjoyment just slipping on my forms, a top, and my fem jeans.

[sandys40c]

I am quite happy being a part-time CD. There are times when I wonder what it would be like, but as I get closer to 50 I realize that I am happy with who I am.

[JessMe]

I am beyond a shadow of a (personal) doubt, transgender, and moreover probably transsexual. Where do you draw the distinction? ...I live my life as a crossdressing man... and most of my friends and family know how I feel. ...I used to literally cry myself to sleep at night, praying to whatever "god" meant and represented that I'd wake up and be a girl. ...needless to say, this became quite a problem for me as I developed into a rather imposing and muscular young man. ...farm work does wonders for the male physique, as does martial arts. ...I learned to "live around it". ...does it mean that I'm always happy? Absolutely not. ...but I'm going to just say, at the risk of angering or insulting others here, that it IS entirely possible to be transsexual and "make excuses" ...and not transition. ...sure... it drives me batshit crazy... but I can still talk to my family, have a steady job in my field, and have another group of friends that wouldn't "get it" if they knew.

[cdintraining25]

Yup! Completely okay with where I'm at.

[AmandaJ_DK]

So if the good fairy offered you the magic potion, would you sniff it (transvestite) sip it (cross-dresser), or chug down the whole glass (transsexual).

Chug Chug!

I decided to cut down on the quote a bit, to not take up as much space here, but I'd like to address your question. If there was a potion that worked as you described, turning me into a woman overnight, with no consequences of having to explain it to people or risk losing friends, family or loved ones over it, I'd definitely do it. I don't feel there's anything I do as a man now that I couldn't do as a woman either and I'd much rather live in a female body than a male one. Even if I wouldn't become a young super model, I'd still go for it. Just becoming a woman of the age I am now, with a normal, average body, would make me happy beyond words.

However, since no such potion exist - if it does, someone give it to me NOW! :P - I'd say I'm 'happy' staying the way I am. I have a girlfriend and family I love dearly and I don't want to lose either of them, for pursuing my desire of becoming a woman. I would love if at least my girlfriend would accept this side of me, so I could spend more time as a woman, but I haven't dared confronting her yet. There are probably too many unwanted consequences about changing my life at this stage that I'd want to do it. Maybe that alone, the fact that I don't crave for it more than I do, puts me in the crossdresser category. I don't think I'm transsexual or transgendered, but if I could become a woman overnight, I'd do it without hesitation. With the facts of reality though, I'd rather stay a crossdresser and deal with the issues that brings.

[Rhonda Jean]

I think your original statement is way off the mark. Those few with whom you have spoken are in the great minority. Transsexuals do not finds excuses to not transition. They find ways to make it happen.

I have no desire to, nor have thoughts of, transition. I'm a guy. I like being a guy. I happen to also be a cross dresser. This is the norm.

Jennifer, luv ya, but I disagree. On this forum we continually and endlessly debate and celebrate the TG spectrum and the infinite nature of it. In my opinion, TS is a wide band within that spectrum, not a single point. Within that TS band is also an infinite spectrum. And then there's another question. What constitutes transition?

Oh, and to the original question, I'm quite happy being a crossdresser, but I've been on a decades-long quest to be a more convincing woman during those times when I can crossdress. That's been kind of a bumpy road, getting bumpier the older I get.

[Sarasometimes]

Yes that would be me. I like my current genitalia and being male. I also like feminine things and letting others see that part of me in how I present myself at times. A crossdresser not a transsexual oh and if you are curious, strictly a heterosexual crossdresser. I threw that in to clear up another common misconception!

[shelly1]

I just love to dress I have never really thought about being a woman

[Cindi]

My only interest is in dressing and trying to look as feminine as possible. Not interested the least bit in transitioning

[ophelia]

Same for me......I use dressing as both a release for stress and a reward for getting some part of my s**t together.

[Molly James]

CD all the way for me - am very comfortable with all aspects of my life as a man but simply love crossdressing as it allows me to step off the escalator of life, forget about any stressful situations & just enjoy being GiGi for a short while.