How many years?

[Wildaboutheels]

How many years had you been dressing BEFORE you landed at this site?

It IS possible for people to come here and be "brainwashed".

It IS possible for people to come here and be "brainwashed".

Succumb to "groupthink" to "fit in" better. There are plenty of examples to be found here.

And/or can we just boil it down to the word NEVER?

Before you came here, and/or even now, the thought or idea of transition has NEVER crossed your mind even fleetingly?

Of course, it's a NO Brainer that neither train of thought, makes one a "better" or "more serious" CDer.

[docrobbysherry]

Lot of questions, Wild---

I dressed in a complete vacuum for 10 years, (fantasizing about having real breasts and SRS the entire time), before checking in here 7 years ago. My desire for breasts and SRS vanished about 5 years ago.

I don't like the, "brainwashed" term. And, believe "pink fog" to be nicer and more descriptive of new arrivals here.

Talk about pink fog: After I arrived here? I was sure it was just a matter of time before my "fem side" decided to show herself. After waiting 3 years, I gave that up. I now believe guys that start dressing completely out of the blue after age 50 aren't likely to have one!

[Jennifer-GWN]

For me the answer is ... I've been lurking for quite some time. They say knowledge comes from Reading and Wisdom comes from Listening. So I classify my lurking as both reading and listening. I have struggled with how far does this go for me. As I indicated in my recent introduction I've reached a point where I need clarity but also a need to begin to be more open (beyond in my head). is there a degree of groupthink here. Yes. In my work life they say you talk to the people you are either most comfortable with or who is like minded vs fight with those who challenge or disagree.

Has the thought of transition crossed my mind - Yes. Did it cross my mind before I began lurking - YES. Personally I fall in space of if I knew what I know now when I was in my teens or twenties I would have pursued transition then (baring hindsight is 20/20). The fact is regardless of hindsight in my teens and early 20's I didn't even believe transition was an option or path physically possible (very small town boy sheltered at the time) despite knowing that I something was different and there was a lack of congruency between my mind and my body; my body too some degree won the early battle but the war never ended.

Today do I think I can successful transition. To be honest I don't know. Like others have pointed out in other threads I am Male Body challenged - need to address the belly (seemingly easy compared to other aspects), address the reality of hair removal (laser much less an option now given % gray), and RLT in general (working on that piece now as part of the reason for coming out of stealth for me is - I'm acknowledging to myself that I need more).

So are you all brainwashing me? NO. Do you all help me? YES. I read and listen and correspondingly contemplate. Is it a perfect situation? NO - because yes like everyone else the Pink Fog does roll in occasionally only to be blown away with a dose of reality. For me that's part of the learning process.

my perspective.
cheers... Jennifer.

[Seana Summer]

I had been dressing 20+ years not counting the decade or so I took off from dressing. I have been registered here and have been participating for a little over a year now.

I have not had any interest in transitioning on any sort of permanent or even semi permanent basis and I don't see that changing. I like dressing as a women and I even look like a women from time to time (from a distance.......at night........If your nearsighted) This site really hasn't changed anything about that for me. It has reaffirmed for me that there are many others out there like me and that has given me great comfort just from knowing that.

I don't doubt that some who come here are very vulnerable and have such a desire to fit in somewhere that they may go along with one crowd or another and strive to "go out", "blend in", "be a women" just because there new found friends are going in that direction. I worry that there may be a few that pass through these pages that have not taken the time to really get to know themselves before they "join up" with a crowd. Kind of like kids joining a gang or a cult

Me, I am stubborn, I am going where I want to even if that means I will never be a "serious Crossdresser" in the eyes of the gang

Seana


One impact this site has had on me is an greatly expanding wardrobe! Far too many good shopping tips!!!

[Katey888]

Nice reply Jennifer... :) It's great that we're helping someone - and it sure as heck has helped me!

How many years...? Toooo many - modesty forbids, but suffice to say decades...

Then your statement re brainwashing... Yes, it is possible - No, I do not think this forum brainwashes people - Yes, people can succumb to groupthink and pressure... All internet forums should come with a health warning - we offer personal advice and opinions ONLY... Nothing more definitive.

Ever thought about transition? Other than academically - Never. I might get some contentment out of this, and perhaps some fun - eventually even a little socialising, but that is as far as it goes for me. :)

A "better" CDer...? No - we're about as equal as any other diverse, disparate, distributed and fragmented group of folk...

Katey x

[Kate Simmons]

Before coming here I was CDing about 50 years. I had previously thought I wanted to transition but became convinced along the way that may not have necessarily been the best thing. I now enjoy being myself as myself and try to help other folks do the same. :)

[Eringirl]

I had been indulging my true self as Erin on and off for about 30 years. Thoughts of transitioning during that time, you bet. Acting on it? Nope. I haven't been here that long. But a very strong increase in desire to have my real self come out brought me here. Not the other way around. So no brain washing. But a place for support and sharing of ideas, place to articulate some thoughts and get some advice/feedback. I have found some really great friends here that I am able to PM when needed and really learn a lot.

my 2 cents worth (Canadian)

Erin

[cassandra54]

People can get brainwashed from listening to Glen Beck or Dave Ramsey. This site is no different than any other on the internet, where people share their viewpoints, experiences and information. Anybody that has issues and is impressionable is likely to be influenced by what some people post here. But really if you decide to transition just on the basis of what you read here, then that is an issue and not because of this website. Transitioning and having surgery is pretty serious and irreversible. There's no going back. And there should be a whole host of other people that you should be talking to who will help you make such decisions.

As far as myself goes, I was dressing in earnest for about a year before I joined this site. I joined because my former girlfriend and I were discussing going out in public and I thought I might find some information here. I did not, but I learned a lot about myself and my dressing up. I've never felt any desire to fit in or do what others do. While I do not believe that I am a woman trapped in a man's body, I believe that there are some people that do believe and feel that way. I respect that totally.

I became active on site again recently. My new girlfriend is very supportive and encouraging me to dress more and enjoy it. However I still enjoy my male side and enjoy being him as well I've decided to share information and experiences once again.

[Amy Fakley]

guess it depends on what you mean by "brainwashed".

It's not like anyone got abducted by a vanload of trannies in black (fabulous LBDs of course), and was made to read the forum and fall in line with the dominant opinions here until they finally woke up on an operating table in Thailand, y'know.

If you sought this place out, and you went through the hoops to make an account and joined the community, it was because you wanted to be here. You already had this inside you.
Maybe by finding others who had it inside them as well, and by the process of exchanging views with them, you might gain a wider perspective regarding the world and you and your place in it. That's hardly the same thing as brainwashing.

I don't think it's possible for people to come here and be brainwashed.
That is frankly ridiculous.

It is possible for people to show up here in an incredibly emotional place and in a mentally fragile state of mind. I know I did.
That's why it's so important to be considerate and careful of the advice we doll out on here. This isn't a forum about model airplanes. This sh~t we deal with can be really serious.

Before I came here, did I think about transition?
Of course I did. I've been dressing in women's clothing on the sly for something like 31 years now. How could I not think to myself "what if this was just my every day reality?".

Good grief ... I'd be honestly surprised if there were any of us who'd never had that thought before coming here, even fleetingly.

[cassandra54]

How did you know about the vans?? After I was kidnapped and forced to view the website in a pair of panties and a bra, they supposedly erased the memory of it, but it came back. And to think I used to be a lumberjack.

[Tiffany Jane]

I have been wearing gender inapproriate clothing and items for twenty five years on and off. That is what brought me here. An idea(s) lingering in my subconscience of why I do this and what am I doing it for. Reading multiple views of the same topic allowed me to address myself as a crossdresser and not some bizzarre creature lingering in a mans body. The term became an eyeopening moment, acknowledging a desire to do something I had been told and was telling myself was wrong. But, for whatever reason, I felt it was an integral part of my being. So thank you to all on this forum, cders, tg, gg, etc. Each perspective reminds me that the thoughts I have had have been felt by someone else on a scale varying as much as the people here.

Transition: thought of the ease of not dealing with breast forms, but wouldn't give up the whole male body. These were topics that almost made me regret being here. I had read too many threads on the topic and was beginning to wonder if this was the path I was headed down. Upon further reading, realized I had just happened upon a couple days of transgender/transition topics.

I still feel this is an open and comfortable group of individuals, others more open than others, but so is the case with every other group in our lives. I may not post as often as the first couple weeks, but still check in to see how everyone is doing.

[Rachael Leigh]

I had been an off and on dresser for 30 plus years before coming here and while some of how I thought of myself has changed since coming here I think what actually has happened is I validated what I was feeling.
It's been a great place to be in my last year here

[Annaliese]

I prefer educated, I have learn a lot about my self, and I hope I have given back as much as I have received.

[Amy Fakley]

... And to think I used to be a lumberjack.

hey I too am a lumberjack, and I'm okay :lol:

[suchacutie]

I was dressing for 48 hours before finding this site. I adore both of my genders so putting either of them aside is not going to happen. I came here looking for information and to learn through the experience of others and that is what I've gotten! I do think it's possible to let the pink fog carry one away, but that can't be a fault of this site. We are all responsible for what we do.

[Melanie B]

How many years had you been dressing BEFORE you landed at this site?About 50, on and off. I joined in order to get more information, opinion, and advice to help me solve one particular problem. Anything else is a bonus.


It IS possible for people to come here and be "brainwashed".I doubt it... unless, of course, they want to be!


Before you came here, and/or even now, the thought or idea of transition has NEVER crossed your mind even fleetingly?Not quite sure of the question ... but the answer is "yes, it has, but I do not see full transition in my future


Of course, it's a NO Brainer that neither train of thought, makes one a "better" or "more serious" CDer.I don't understand this one, either, I'm afraid. To me it seems like saying "better at being right handed" or "more serious about being tall"

[paula1911]

I didn't dress much for most of my life as I had children in the house until a few years ago. Kept the desire to dress from my spouse. So I guess I have fully cross dressed only a few months.

I do not believe that this forum or any other event can brainwash you any more than watching Fox or MSNBC can change your view of the world. I think it's in your genes and for me, I became aware of the desire to dress at about 14 years old. I am here because I want to be.

I have to tell you that I thought my cross dressing ways were rare. I felt guilty, embarrassed with myself when I was young and this forum helps me to find out I was not alone.

[Charla McBee]

I've always formed my own opinions although I did learn a few things in my earlier days around here. I first signed up in 2009 after a bit of lurking but I had been dressing for about a decade before that entirely in secret. I know I was fascinated by transition from very early on and certainly had fantasies of being a girl. That's not something I picked up from this community. If anything, I put on my best effort of self-denial over my years here trying to resist the TG crowd and the transitioners and using the manly CDer types to reassure myself that I was cisgender.

As far as groupthink and trying to fit in better, again I make my own choices, I don't feel like I ever really fit in here or connected very much with anyone. I came back a few months ago really trying to find myself after a long period of burying it all again but still didn't find what I was looking for. I've since figured out where I stand to some extent and found a more specialized community that fits me. I still hang around here though because I'm a creature of habit and I still feel like I have something to offer.

[cassandra54]

hey I too am a lumberjack, and I'm okay :lol:

"I cut down trees, I skip and jump,
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing,
And hang around in bars.
I chop down trees, I wear high heels,
Suspenders and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie
Just like my dear papa."

I see someone else knows Monty Python

[bimini1]

The mere powers of suggestion cannot only be strong, but subliminally seductive at the same time. Advertisers thrive on this concept. I think being here has definitely influenced me in one way or another. I get drawn into this false sense of security about CD only to be shocked back into reality by someone or something I see in my everyday interactions.

[Tami Monroe]

I have CD'ed for over 30 years. There have been times when I thought that getting a transition would be a viable option. I know that if I ever have to enter Witness Protection, that will be the catalyst for sure! Seriously though, I am happy to have my male side, but also happy to have my female side. I am happy right where I am right now. I can be manly when I need or want to be, but also I can be quite the girly girl when I want also. It is the best of both worlds.

[Wildaboutheels]

So, just where are all the CDing ''hobbyists"?

That have no desire whatsoever to be a female full time 24/7 with none of the advantages that come with being male?

[DebbieL]

I started dressing in 1961, I was 6 years old. I'd wanted to be a girl since 1958, when I was 3.
Then they told me that I was a boy and couldn't play with girls anymore, I had to play with the boys.
The boys threw rocks at me and hit me with sticks. They called me sissy, fag, queer, fairy, tinkerbell, and worse.
They whipped me with wet towels, they whipped me with belts, they beat me with fists, and kicked me with boots.
I went to the hospital 64 times. The doctors didn't want to send me home until the bruises healed, even though I was there for asthma.
I talked to psychologists, therapists, and social workers - it took months to build up enough trust and courage to share what was in my heart,
and they told me they couldn't talk about that.
My mother knew, but had been told terrible things would happen if anyone found out - so she didn't even talk to me about it.
My father knew, but he had been badly hurt himself because he was so feminine - so he didn't want to talk about it.
My grandfather told me I was going to burn in hell, that I was an abomination - and he didn't even know.
My grandmother knew and let me play dress-up in her cellar, but we had to keep it a secret.
My cousins knew - two of them wanted to dress up too, one wanted to kiss me - both were boys.
Friends thought that because I was so girly, that I wanted to date boys - but boys brought back memories of pain and terror.
i enjoyed pleasing my girl-friends, but when they reached between my legs for the thing I hated so much, it was hard to tell them no nicely.
My friends in college thought I was a transvestite - they gave me a magazine with pictures of men with hairy arms, legs, and faces wearing frumpy dresses and panty hose. Was this what they thought of me? I knew I could be much prettier, because I had been when I was younger.

And then I met someone who was transgendered - like me. They weren't drag queens, they weren't freaks, they were boys who wanted to be girls.
This was on a usenet newsgroup back in 1984. That's 23 YEARS after the first time I told my parents. It was on net.motss or net.women.
In 1985, I was finally able to find books and videos on she-males and transsexuals, they weren't terribly informative, some where just wrong.

Websites like this one didn't "turn me transsexual", they gave me the chance to share feelings that I had kept hidden from everyone BUT myself for over 4 decades. There wasn't a day in my life when I wouldn't have asked the fairy godmother to turn me into a girl - even if I only had ONE wish, that was the one.

I prayed to God, but good Christians called people like me "an abomination" - some even said people like me should be killed, slowly and painfully.
Others wanted to "cure" people like me - with torture, shock, and lobotomy - we'd be dead, but we'd make obedient slaves.

Here I learned about therapists, how to find them, how to find doctors, how to get hormones, how to get through the legal hurdles, how to communicate with my wife, children, and in-laws. Even how to communicate with people at my church. I learned that I didn't have to dress like a **** to be beautiful. I even learned that I didn't have to be beautiful to be accepted as a woman. Simply put, I learned how to live the life I had wanted to live for 50 years, and now I'm finally living it.

Too often, people think of "brainwashing" as similar to what the North Koreans did during that war, breaking down mental defences and forcing someone to do something they never wanted to do.

What happens here is more like "Brain Washing" - taking the power away from the kind of thinking that caused us immense pain and suffering. It helped us to know that there was a solution to what we had previously thought was a "permanent problem". We found out that we could love, and be loved, without having to pretend to be something we never wanted to be in the first place. Before this "Brain Washing", we felt so trapped, so powerless, so frustrated, that it often appeared that we were suffering from depression, bipolar disorder, or were neurotic. Even today, modern therapists have been getting special training in APA workshops to help them understand and properly address the needs of the transgender and transsexual clients.

Many of us actually DO suffer from post traumatic stress syndrome. When you are violently assaulted by 10-12 boys every day for months, and you know that it will happen today, when you go to school, and every day for the rest of the school year - it creates fear, trauma, terror, panic, nightmares, and pain. When adult men go to war and experience this type of trauma, for example in POW camps, even with treatment it can take years to recover. Imagine what it's like for a child who is only 6 or 7 years old?

When we finally build up enough courage and trust to tell loved ones, especially spouses, they can't understand how we could have been so deceiptful for so long. Often they reject us, divorce us, take our children away. They don't understand how much terror and trauma has already been experienced. Even the most supportive wife may find that her cross-dresser husband seriously struggles with even the possibility of going out in public, of even being in the same room with another person. Even if his secret desire is that he wants nothing more in the world than to be able to live as a girl, there is so much terror and trauma that if his wife calls him a "Sissy", he will clamp down, shut off emotionally, sexually, and socially.

Some of us have even fallen in love with someone, only to lose them when they finally managed to get us to admit even a tiny bit desire to be feminine.

So yes, the group here has provided experience, strength, and hope for thousands of men and women, boys and girls, boys who want to be girls, girls who want to be boys, and their wives, lovers, and families. After years of hiding, of living in terror that our secret would be discovered, and the pain would start all over again, the experience of other survivors of this "halocaust" is a good and healthy thing.

[Charla]

I started crossdressing about age 10 - I got into my 14 year old sister's underwear drawer and started reading her pamphlets about menstruation and realized how different and wonderful she was. As I read, I wanted to try out this experience and I started putting on her bra and panties. So it's been at least 50 years. I have tried many times to go away from this, but it doesn't work.

[Paula Siemen]

Monty Python IS the Holy Grail!

[Susie Mack]

About half a century. I questioned the possibility of transitioning, but realized very quickly that that was just not in the cards.

[Beverley Sims]

Since early childhood.

There are too many positives on this forum "not" to have an influence on your thinking.

Transition was often on my mind especially when I was on hormone therapy for other "ailments".

[docrobbysherry]

So, just where are all the CDing ''hobbyists"?
That have no desire whatsoever to be a female full time 24/7 with none of the advantages that come with being male?
I fit that definition and intimated so in my earlier post, Wild. But, please notice that your OP didn't include THAT question!

[JessicaJHall]

I say I've been CDing for 58 years because that's how old I am, and some of my earliest memories are of trying on (climbing into.. not sure I could walk yet) female attire, and loving it. It's an undeniable part of me.
So the answer to question #1 is 58

#2 and #3 are statements and I'm not sure why they are redundant, or even what you mean so:
OK, this site has "brainwashed" me, into believing I'm not alone. I bought it hook, line, and sinker, because the stories and people on these web pages seemed so real, and relatable!!

Seriously though, are you talking about getting brainwashed into full transitioning? Just to fit in here? If that person exists, they need professional help and fast, because they'll probably do just about anything.

#4 I don't succumb much to "groupthink" but I can be fairly easily manipulated into doing things I already want to do.

#5 As far as me wanting to transition.. not now, not ever, or to quote your "boil down" word, never. Fantasize about suddenly waking up, and being a woman for a day or two? Sure, but just as an interesting thought experiment. So if that's even what you are asking about? You have a winner!!

As far as the Pink Fog goes, I'm in a pink fog of a different sort, where nothing has really changed except I now have a place where I can discuss a thing I kept deftly hidden away because it's seen by the culture as bizarre and freakish, have fun with others who understand it, and actually share experiences, that up until a few months ago were strictly personal. And that is fantastic.
Hanging out here is cutting into my HF time though, and oddly quelled some of my desire to engage in it, but I think that's only temporary.

[cassandra54]

So, just where are all the CDing ''hobbyists"?

That have no desire whatsoever to be a female full time 24/7 with none of the advantages that come with being male?

I was going to respond to this earlier, so here's my thoughts. This is an interesting point to say the least. My girlfriend thinks that I dress like a woman because it's a hobby. I tell her that for the amount of time and money I've spent on it, that it's much more than a hobby. Then she says that some people collect things that are very valuable, perhaps in the millions. I understand her point. But I think there's more to it than that. So I did a little research.

According to Wikepedia, a hobby is describes as, "A hobby is a regular activity that is done for pleasure, typically during one's leisure time." That being said, several things come to mind. 1. Nobody would be put off or unaccepting of you because you collected stamp or built model cars. Your neighbors wouldn't be shocked and you could tell everyone in your family. 2. Depending on how far you take things, there are somethings that carry over into the rest of your life that you may have to explain or be careful about who can see some of these things. For example, I've had people comment on my ears being pierced. At the moment, my fingernails are painted a bright red. Lastly, my bedroom and closet are off limits to everyone except my girlfriend. She suggested I make my bathroom more girl friendly, which I did. Makeup is out there on the vanity and I lock my closet when I'm out of town. 3. I dress during the day sometimes, when I conduct business at home or do things like housecleaning. That's not exactly a leisure activity. So no, I don't think it's a hobby.

So then I ask myself is it a fetish?. Once again, I go to Wikepedia. "Fetishism, the attribution of religious or mystical qualities to inanimate objects, known as fetishes
Sexual fetishism, sexual fixation with objects, body parts, or situations not conventionally viewed as being sexual in nature" There's another definition that I've found which is: "a course of action to which one has an excessive and irrational commitment.". Again, I find none of this applies to me. In my adult life, I started to dress as a fetish, but quickly realized that I wanted to dress out of the bedroom and that it didn't' have to be a part of a sexual encounter. I'm not opposed to being intimate while being dressed, but by no means does it have to be part of it. While I think wearing women's clothes is definitely feminine by nature, and some clothes might make me feel pretty or sexy, they really have no power over me. Yes I like to shop and build my wardrobe, but I just attribute that as part of the whole experience.

While you could call me a cross dresser and you would be correct in doing so, I think on a scale of 1-10, I've taken it about as far as one can go without transitioning, so I would give it about an 11. I think it's more like a lifestyle of gender expression and I prefer the term femulating, which I just recently learned. I also like gender fluid as well. While I just absolutely love being Cassandra, I never feel that compulsion or a strong desire to do it. There are times when I don't feel like getting dressed, but I do anyway. I feel better when I do, but it's not like I'm always happy and singing. Real women have days when they're not joyful either. Everybody has to get dressed everyday, so sometimes it's just something we do. I think it's more like a lifestyle, because, there's things that benefit both sides of me, like grooming, taking care of my body, learning how to shop and take care of a home and manage money. Sure there's guys that do that and never dress. I'm just saying that I'm always me, no matter what I'm wearing and what I am has both masculine and feminine characteristics.

I enjoy being a guy. I wouldn't have body parts removed or added. Some people that are members of this group believe that they were born the as the wrong gender, that's not how I feel. I can go on a vacation or do anything as my guy self and have a great time.

So, hobby, fetish, gender expression, lifestyle? You tell me. I do it because it's fun and enjoyable most of the time. Sure the act of putting an outfit together, getting dressed, doing hair and makeup is a creative process and could be considered a hobby, but there' so much more to that. I also think it's very cool having a "secret identity". While I'm not biologically or physiologically a genetic female, I can learn and experience many of the things that they do. While I'm in guy mode, it's kind of like being undercover. I can watch how women dress and act, take that home and try it for myself. If I can get out in public without being noticed, all the better.

[Robinsinclair]

Since I was a teenager, that's more than 40 years.

Brainwashed... I don't think so.

Fiinding this site has opened my eyes to how many other people have the same feelings. Now I know the purges, the ups and downs, the fear of being found out are all normal. Maybe not normal for everyone, but normal for many of us here.

Not brainwashed, but knowing you are not the "only one" makes life much easier.

I certainly wondered what transitioning might be like before I found this site and the rest of you. But somehow, reading through all the trials, tribulations and emotions that everyone has posted has given me a sort of peace about transitioning. I feel less desire to transition now than a few years ago. I'm happier with who I am. Some of that is age - which makes us less likely to conform to someone elses ideals. But some of that happiness is knowing I'm not alone.

Would I transistion if I could? Well, if I could lose 30 pounds and 10 or 20 years sure I would. 30 pounds I could do, but from an age viewpoint it's too late. I have too many people that depend on me and too much grey to change now.

Regardless, I still enjoy my "Robin" side a lot and I hope to spend more time on that side.

[trisha kobichenko]

Hmmm, dressed for the first time about age seven. Then off and on when I could get away with it (i.e. undiscovered) for the next 63 years. Finally came out to my SO 2 yrs ago, because I got discovered visiting X-Dressing sites (not this one) and she thought I was having an affair. Coming clean as to who I am was way easier than trying to cover it up at that point. Found this site about 6 months ago, so any 'brainwashing' would have occurred way before I came here. :) I have always thought I was midway between male and female--liking aspects of both, not wanting to give up aspects of either. So...no I do not consider transition...I would still be in the 'middle' even if I had different plumbing at birth.
Hugs,
Trish

[Teresa]

WOH,
I'd been dressing for fifty years before joining this site !
Yes it's easy to become brainwashed especially if you've been in the closet for most of that time ! Our lives are all different so you have to ignore what others are doing !
Being self employed for most of my life I tend to think for myself and not be influenced by others ! Original thinking even if you're the sole voice never bothered me !
I would think many CDers go through transition thoughts, why else what you want to dress unless you wanted to be a girl ? If you prefer to do more male activities and live as a man and have sex as man you know the answer is no. The thought of transition to me is like walking into no-mans-land, you lose so many things and gain very little in return ! Inside you may feel you have the right body but have few friends and family to share it with ! Sadly you swap unhappines for unhappiness ! This is just my view and not intended to upset anyone !!!

Does the forum change you as a CDer again if you're in the closet it can open up your life ! If you're already out then you just exchange hopefully wonderful stories .

[Claire Cook]

Wild,

I really have to differ with the implications of your questions. I'll start by saying I'd been dressing on and off for 50 years before I found this site.

1. It IS possible for people to come here and be "brainwashed".

I don't see see that this site "brainwashes" people. That implies that this site forces people into a mold, but it should be clear that we all have different approaches to our CD'ing and find our own comfort zones. When someone comes to the site with a problem, and folks offer advice, encouragement and perspective, I think this is far from "brainwashing". Certainly our approach to CD'ing may change given the experiences of others -- but isn't this true of life in general?

2. Succumb to "groupthink" to "fit in" better. There are plenty of examples to be found here.

Groupthink? Again, I'll bet that no two of us have exactly the same place along the CD/TG spectrum. Fitting in? Perhaps the only thing we all have in common is some level of wearing female clothes. If this site has done anything anything for me, it has helped me to appreciate that others have different approaches to and levels of CD'ing than I do. And oh yes, lots of good advice about clothes and how to dress better. The only way I want to "fit in better" is to be accepted (or at least tolerated) when I and out and about.

Anyway, my :2c:

[Katey888]

So, just where are all the CDing ''hobbyists"?

That have no desire whatsoever to be a female full time 24/7 with none of the advantages that come with being male?

And you ask this now because....? You didn't get the answer from folk you wanted to hear...?

Seriously - as I read back through this thread about half the respondents have indicated now or previously that they have no desire to be a female 24/7, me included... And a lot more might have confirmed this had you asked the original question in a different way, but my observations from the last 10 months, FWIW:

- The larger portion of folk here are part-time dressers either because they want to be or because they accept that as a compromise with their normal, male life
- There is a minority of folk here who would like to or do dress 24/7 - of those that do, my observations are that many are in their later years and so have less to compromise about than those with careers, young families and younger, wider, possibly unaccepting social circles
- There is a smaller segment of those who do want to or do actually transition - they can be fairly vocal here but are not in the majority
- There is a much larger population of "hobbyists" on the "other" websites, mainly because cd.com allows a more intellectual and supportive approach to discussing our collective condition, rather than accepting the lowest common denominator... you know this Wild - you refer to these other sites more than anyone else I know of here... presumably because... :thinking:

If only YOU would READ what people DO write then perhaps you would LEARN...? :)

Katey x

[Amy Fakley]

232576

oh snap!

[Krisi]

I was dressing long before Al Gore invented the Internet.

I don't know if people can be brainwashed here but I think some folks try to brainwash other people, perhaps trying to make themselves feel like there are others like themselves.

I have never given serious thought to transitioning but I have fantasized anout being a genetic female from time to time. I realize that there's no surgery or pills that could make me into one. I do plan to be one when I am reincarnated. I was one in my prior life. :battingeyelashes:

[Cheryl T]

I've been a member here for 8 years and prior to that had been dressing for about 50 years....guess that means this place had little impact on me....

[Vanessa5]

I have been here about 5 years and have been dressing for at least 30. I don't think you can come here and be "brainwashed". For me it was a mild cleansing. (HAHAHA). When I came here I was looking for something I couldn't talk to anybody about. I wasn't sure of who or what I was. I actually found myself in many of the stories here.

[Tinkerbell-GG]

So, just where are all the CDing ''hobbyists"?

That have no desire whatsoever to be a female full time 24/7 with none of the advantages that come with being male?

I know you know the answer to this already, Wild. They're either lurking anonymously or not here at all. They don't need to be - they have no conflicting thoughts about their 'hobby' and if they're on a forum, it will be one of the other sites where they get to stare at lingerie photos! But I do agree that many men do treat it more as a hobby than perhaps the majority of members here do. But then, this is thankfully not a fetish site!

I actually came to know many wives of crossdressers over the years and while we all discussed endlessly the horror of our situation, not a single husband was even vaguely feminine in attitude or presentation, out publicly, or even thinking about it all that much. All only dressed occasionally and mostly in something a hooker would wear, and only once a month or so. This is not reflective of most members here. Most here are far further along the spectrum than the 'hobbyist'. Did this forum help them along to this point? I sincerely doubt it. I suspect they arrived at this forum and fit here because they have a lot in common with the others. The occasional fetish crossdresser won't find much to talk about here, though they do sneak in the odd 'what color are your panties' thread when no ones looking, lol.

And the trannies in a van had me choking on my coffee. I haven't laughed so hard in ages. Thanks for that :)

[Tammy Lynn Tx]

I've been dressing for about 50 years and ran the gambit that probably everyone else here has run. But it is up to each person to make up their own mind about what they want or desire to do and then do it. Sometimes I wish I could say it was someone elses fault but in the end..... I put on the clothes. As a much younger person, i loved to hate cross dressing, but over time came to accept myself and even to like me as a person

[Janine cd]

I had been dressing for more than 40 years before discovering this site. It was as if I finally found a home.

[Jason+]

I would say 9 or 10 years before I found this site.

The site can be an amplifier for sure and provide encouragement or conversely discouragement for that matter but it can't create something that wasn't already there or remove a desire that is.

I grew up an outcast so group think had largely lost much hold before my first pair of panties. One of the heated issues with me here was lipstick without the rest of the makeup and padding with at the time militarily short hair. It seemed to rub a lot of people the wrong way and some of them were able to intelligently articulate how they felt about it and why they did. Add to that the fact that it was on the top three list of things my wife hates about this whole deal and I rarely wear it. Whether that is succumbing to group think or making an intelligent decision based on input from my family and the closest to a peer group I have on the subject is probably up for debate.

I can't reduce much anything to a complete NEVER. When I first started to really try to learn about what made me feel the way I do I thought that maybe I should have been a girl. The more I learned the more I realized that transition wasn't an option for me because what I am wasn't wrong.

[sometimes_miss]

How many years had you been dressing BEFORE you landed at this site?
almost fifty.

It IS possible for people to come here and be "brainwashed".
Not likely, more likely that they come here and start to believe that everything they once thought impossible, is now possible and that they will have support for doing what they already wanted to do.

Succumb to "groupthink" to "fit in" better. There are plenty of examples to be found here.
More like the pink fog.

Of course, it's a NO Brainer that neither train of thought, makes one a "better" or "more serious" CDer.
Well, to me, 'serious' crossdressers are those who actually crossdress, and feel good when we are dressed as girls/women. Non-serious ones just think about it, but don't actually do it.

Before you came here, and/or even now, the thought or idea of transition has NEVER crossed your mind even fleetingly?
Doesn't matter when the idea of transitioning comes up, whether before or after someone visits this forum. Way before online forums existed, some crossdressers would transition, and other wouldn't. Some would progress, others would not. Much of what determines that, is what's in each of our minds, how we think of ourselves, how we self identify as either male or female, and, to what extent we may have been in denial about our sexual identity and sexual preference. Due to society's tremendous stigma about homosexuality, there are still many crossdressers who simply cannot accept the idea that they really prefer to have sex as a girl, with another man. Pretty much every day we hear someone insult a man by referring to him with some type of feminine term; we are made to feel so guilty about what we are, by so many, that even if we deep down really want to be girls, lots of us just can't admit to anyone that we want to do so because we would feel like such a failure in life if we did.

[Samantha_Smile]

Well Ive been dressing for 19 years - over half my life and I've been registered here for the last 4 and half ish.

Brainwashing?
Yeah sure it's possible, but I think you need to be of a very uncertain disposition or easily lead to fall into the trap of doing something against your better judgement.

Like with other forums, I collate the advice from many people on a given subject and contextually apply it to my life.
What may be right for you may not be right for some.
I don't treat this place as the last word in how to live my life, no matter how much my life has improved for knowing others as confused as me :)

And as for transition, sure I've asked myself is it for me. But the answer is a resounding no.
Plus as a health professional, I've learned a lot about transexualism just via related stuff on CD based forums, so it has also been professionally developmental.
There are myriad problems that can occur by advising someone without knowing their full circumstances, which is why I never ask for opinions on here, because y'all don't know me LOL

What concerns me most on here is the frequency with which users make posts that are the text equivalent of throwing all your bullets in the fire then running for the hills

[jeank]

I've been dressing on and off in private for a couple (?) of decades and I only found this site existed earlier this month by accident.

Great chance to pick up ideas - where to get x, what to use for x, how to x, and also nice to read others opinions of things that I have contemplated.

I really can't see myself being convinced to do something I wasn't going to do anyway - but I may indeed make a better job of it learned from the very varied experiences of others.

[StarrOfDelite]

So yes, the group here has provided experience, strength, and hope for thousands of men and women, boys and girls, boys who want to be girls, girls who want to be boys, and their wives, lovers, and families. After years of hiding, of living in terror that our secret would be discovered, and the pain would start all over again, the experience of other survivors of this "halocaust" is a good and healthy thing.

Debbie,

Thanks for sharing your experience. You and I are in the same age group, and you evoked a lot of bad memories I had about the age being repressively conformist in general. One didn't have to be a transgendered person to be assailed for e.g. being an atheist, believing in equal rights for women, believing in equal justice for black people, or being sexually attracted to members of the same sex.

To respond to the original post, and to clarify my comments on your post: Personally, I didn't start crossdressing until much later, the mid-1990's, and have never felt that my essence was female, so I never experienced anything similar to the horrors you describe when I was a child. I believe that I first discovered this website in 2007, and by then I had already made the discovery that I was attracted to men as a woman.

So, I've never felt in the least bit "brainwashed" by the contents of the threads in this forum. In fact, my own personal opinion is that this site is remarkably "Vanilla" and non-cutting edge. I think it provides a marvelous support source for the transgender community, but it's never been my impression that it encourages, proselytizes or promotes crossdressing to those who have not already realized that they are probably transgendered.

[Princess Chantal]

Well I started crossdressing in late 2001, came across and joined the local crossdressing social group about 6 months later, and apparently I joined this forum in mid 2008.
It was acquaintances in the local social group and transgender community that were influencing my gender questioning in the early part of my crossdressing (well before coming here). "Your young and should really look into it now rather than later", "The situation you are in, you've got nothing to lose and lots to gain", "If you dress less like a crossdresser and more like a real gg, you would feel more like home in your body"....
One friend would call me up couple times a week asking if I am cozy and relaxing being myself with nails painted and in a skirt while watching television. Usually the answer was no, she would then reply with something similiar to "I bet Chantal would love to get dressed up, but Jeff is just being too lazy"
I am sure that this forum could influence many into the gender questioning whether it being more engaged/educated of the tg community or being overwhelmed with support and advice by the frequent posters.

[Jenny Gurl]

Over 25 years, but until I found this site, I just thought I was one of a very few and did not understand anything about it other than I have had the desire since I can remember, before Kindergarten.

[Byron]

I've been dressing for 20 years total and only joined this site 3 years ago.
Not much changed about how I approach my hobby after joining the site. I knew (living in the age of the internet) that I was not alone, but it did provide a medium for communication with others that share this little quirk we all have in common.
This site most certainly helped me to understand some of the reasons why, and helped me to understand how I fit into this subculture. But it did not brainwash me after joining, my approach, reasons, and goals for CD'ing are the same as they have been for the past 20 years.

Its important to remember, no two people approach CD'ing from the same background. Each of us have different reasons, desires and goals with our dressing.

[Stephanie47]

It looks like I joined this site four years ago. I probably lurked for a year before that. I've been a cross dresser for over fifty years, although in the 1960's I thought I was not a cross dresser, but, "sick, disgusting, etc." Now? Well, I just like to wear women's clothing on occasion. I have never had a desire to transition. I am completely satisfied being a man. If I were not a man, there I would want to be a woman.

As to "group think," I believe there are too many men who throw caution to the wind and really upset the marital apple cart. "If he can dress in front of his wife, I can do that too!" "If he can get dolled up and go grocery shopping, then I can do it too!" There are many unique circumstances of which an individual has no knowledge. Yes, I've read too many postings here where the cross dressing has blown up a relationship with a woman because the man has asserted his cross dressing without taking into consideration the negative impact. Many of my posts/comments have been in the nature of caution.

[Tami Monroe]

I discovered this site in late 2013, and have been dresing sice the early 80s. I guess that means I was dressing 32 years before discovering this site.

[Stephanie Julianna]

I've been cross dressing since I was 5 so the first answer would be 59 years before I came to this site. I've been dressing in public since I was 30 so that makes it 34 years dressing in public before I found CD.com. I don't believe we brainwash each other. No more to say on that subject. I've always been this way and this site did not make me likely to dress more.

[Madilyn A.]

I have been dressing since 1955 at the age of 5. By 10 yrs old I was full into makeup, lingerie, shoes and stockings. I believe I started on this site in 2010.

[Brianna_H]

Ok, I'll bite.

1 Day. That's how long I was crossdressing before I came here. Why? Because I'm a nerd. The first thing I do when I think there's a problem or issue I want to understand better, I get on the internet and start researching.

Brainwashing? Yes! I was brainwashed into talking to my spouse right away about my feelings. Best. Brainwashing. Ever.

If anything it was anti-brainwashing/pinkfog. I was full of fluff when I arrived here, a newborn transgendered person with a starry-eyed dream of becoming the woman I should have been. The ladies here brought a heavy dose of reality. I still feel like I'm not a guy inside, but my desire to be my true self has been tempered with fear and cunning. Legitimate fear of the consequences of proceeding uncautiously and the cunning desire to be who I am and make the life I want to live.

My unprofessional diagnosis of the site: Working as intended.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi WAH, I dressed for 62years before finding this wonderful site.:daydreaming:

[lexivanderpump]

A lady never tells. I've been CDing since I was a very, very young "girl".

Love,
Lexi V.

[AmandaJ_DK]

I started crossdressing at around 12 and since I only joined this site today, it'll be around 17 years! I'm still very much in the closet about this though, so despite my many years of on and off dressing, I am still very inexperienced.

[Tina B.]

I started dressing in the early 50's first thought transition would be great when as a kid I read about Christine Jorgensen. She was the first one I had ever heard of that did it, and it was the first I knew it was even possible. Over the next 10 to 12 years, the thought would pass over the mind and keep going. After I got married and came out to my wife, she asked me if I wanted to transition, and it was a serious question, so I gave it some real time, thought about it a lot, but it was just a fantasy, when I thought about it, I knew I'm happy as a guy almost all of the time, but at times, I just have to let the old girl out to play. Years later I found this site.

[vicky_cd99_2]

I started dressing along time ago. Back when there were 3 to 5 television channels and a computer was the size of a house. Back when I was a skinny little kid I was confused about the whole issue of a boy wearing girls clothes. As I grew up and before I filled out I secretly wished I had been born a girl but still did all the boy stuff. As I grew and filled out I realized I would never have looked good as a real girl but I still loved dressing as one. I did all the macho stuff to prove I was a dude. I felt all alone then. I thought I was a freak. Then came the magic of the internet.

I found I was not alone after I entered the web. I found through different sites that there are many of us and we all have our own story. Many of them similar. Had I found this site when I was still a youngster transitioning would have been an option. All these years later it is not. I found this site to be a great avenue of support. It is not a sex site like many of them, but one of honest and intellectual discussion. Brain washing, not at all for me.

Vicky

[Natasha-cd]

Im dressing more then 20 year, but join at this site today:) But I communicated on Russian CD forums and social networks

[Confucius]

I've been cross-dressing since early childhood - about 3-4 years old! That was over 50 years ago!
However, I've always limited my crossdressing.

Can this place brainwash you? Sure, anything you put into your head can brainwash you. However, in my case, I think I am brainwashing others.

[CynthiaD]

I started dressing when I was 3, and found this place when I was in my '60s. I guess that would make it about 60 years. Brainwashed? If you weren't already thinking about crossdressing how would you end up here? I had to search for the place, and I only did it because I was already a "hard core" crossdresser.

[Sissy_Michelle]

I had been under dressing since I was in my teens. Due to my previous job I hadn't been able to but on an occasion or two.

No I don't believe this site brainwashed me. Although has given me more insight and people to speak to about my dressing.

@--}----

[heather ann martin]

A long time

[Badwolf]

I don't think there is any real brainwashing, but there is some group-think that starts to take hold in certain respects.

Most of the tme I see so many varying opinions that it's impossible for anything as drastic as brainwashing (changing someones ideas), but there are times when conversations go in certain ways thanks to the group-think phenomenon.

[Raychel]

Not sure if brainwashed is really what happened, Maybe eye opened but not really
brainwashing, for 40 some years I had been dressing in lingerie and the likes.
but with some curiosity and seeing this forum, I progressed to breast forms and full dressing.

I have grown to accept this part of my life all with the help of this forum.

[NicoleScott]

So, just where are all the CDing ''hobbyists"?

I'm one, and I crossdressed decades before Al Gore invented the internet. No GID, all pleasure.

Brainwashing? Yes, some people are led to believe that if they come out of the closet, everything will be OK.

[Jolene]

Started with my sister's clothes when i was young, then about 9 years ago, started out again and have never looked back. Having been around here a while and being so glad I found this site. Though I do not know anyone here, I so enjoy reading about all of thair experences and it makes a good support group for me. As far as being brainwashed, etc, NOT. Jolene is and always will be a part of me and having being able to come here with all of you makes this lonely life so much easier.
Love All of You. :)