Does anyone else out there understand?

[b_mitch0626]

I seriously question my self daily and just don't understand my self . I love love the clothes but don't want to be a permant or post op girl yet for some reason I alway always ! Feel alone yet I have te world going for me. Just would like to know of anyone else feels the same or just pop by to say hello and tell a story

[ClosetED]

We understand. I see you joined in 2006, but have only 36 posts - Not sure if you just lurk or have been away. We all acknowledge that society currently does not understand or accept us. You can read the thread started by maya1love "Are there cds who really are just comfortable being cds and not transitioning?" and you can see there are many like you. Start new threads like this to help you feel comfortable about who you are - you admit you are a good person and have much to give. Look at how many members - Members 27,732 Active Members 5,132. You are part of a large crowd. You are not harming anyone physically and the mental anguish some others feel is not under your control - you are being you and not alone.
Hugs,
Ellen

[Tanya+]

Understanding ourselves is the challenge and journey. I don't think many of us get an explanation as such, except that some guys are just this way. But understanding boils down to what you need, how you love, and simply being understanding with yourself. It took along time to accept myself, and a fair bit longer to find someone else who accepted me as i am. It took lots of meditation and self reflection, and many good women. So.. keep questioning, and be gentle with yourself, just as you would be with someone you cherish. Good luck.

[Kate Simmons]

The bottom line is that to understand yourself, you have to get to know yourself and get in touch with your feelings. Once you do, you can go from there. Only you can do that though.:)

[VAWyman]

I sort of agree with Mitch. I am a hetero-cd and am okay with that. But as such, the straight world will not accept me, and the transexual world wants me to change completely. I feel like I am in never land all the time. I just want the freedom to dress without someone being disgusted with me.

[hope springs]

I sort of agree with Mitch. I am a hetero-cd and am okay with that. But as such, the straight world will not accept me, and the transexual world wants me to change completely. I feel like I am in never land all the time. I just want the freedom to dress without someone being disgusted with me.


This is a mixed bag. On the one hand there are tons of outings posted here that are no problem. On the other hand we have all recieved the glare or whisper behind our backs. So there is some level of tolerance/acceptance. I dont think we will ever get complete acceptance. You really dont realize how rigid societal norms are until you step outside them. Its like stepping out of the eye of the hurricane and into the maelstrom.

[Jaymees22]

I feel happy and at peace with myself, dressing part time is fine and many others here feel the same. If you're really questioning yourself maybe seeing a therapist would help, it seemed to help me. Hugs Jaymee

[Cheryl T]

When I began at age 7 or so with dressing and until I was about 18 I thought I was the only one in the world. There was never anything in my small town the gave any indication that others existed. I was like Tom Hanks in Castaway, except he knew others existed while I felt totally alone.
Even after discovering that others felt as I do I was still alone...not knowing anyone. It was like being in a secret club and being the only member of my chapter. Other chapters were out there but we never had contact.

[Alice Torn]

I can empathize with the original poster Mitch, and also VA Wyman. Also, throw in religious beliefs, and there is far more turmoil, and conflict. Presenting as a woman, just plays with too many peoples" minds, and comfort zones. Even if people don't say anything, you can bet, that they were thinking things, and telling others later. It takes tremendous courage to go out in public alone, and alone, is all some of us know. I seldom go out period, though would like too.

[carahawkwind]

There are definitely a lot of people here that are hetero, not full time and aren't looking to transition, there is another very recent thread here about that topic. One thing that has really helped me with coming to terms my dressing compared to when I younger, was getting my masculine life in order. Now that I'm a father, husband, have a reasonably successful professional career, I don't feel like I have anything more to prove and know that my part time dressing didn't hold me back from achieving those things and I can let go of the other parts of masculine culture I don't feel are worthwhile to me and have done nothing for me; but when those things were less settled when I younger I always had a lot of worry that it would it somehow hold me back and isolate me, but it didn't.

[docrobbysherry]

We can't we just enjoy what we do? Just have fun with it. Why do we continually wonder WHY we dress? And, second guess our "hobby". Why do we enjoy it so much and not golf, cards, collecting skirts instead of antique mugs? Unless we're TS, it can be the cause of guilt, too.

Sorry, Mitch. I'm talking about me, not u or others.

[Vanessa5]

I too question myself all the time. Seems I want to become a woman but don't think I'll like it. When I get fully dressed it is a feeling of undescribable joy. Then when I go back to my masculine self I feel sooo down. Not sure of if this means I want to be a woman but sure seems the more I dress the more I want to. As of late I just feel like I want to be a woman. I do enjoy the feeling of being feminine.

[kimdl93]

welcome, and yes, almost everyone other than pathologically narcissistic individuals has self doubts and a measure of confusion. Lots of us are successful in many dimensions of our lives, but after a lifetime of telling ourselves or being told that what we are is wrong in some way, we understandably wonder whether we deserve all the good that has come our way.

the fact is that we do. We each have endured and prevailed over the feelings of self doubt, or even self hatred. We should take a measure of satisfaction in knowing that we have made our ways in life despite having what we wrongly perceived as a fault. That speaks to ones character, at least in my mind.

[Kris Avery]

>> But as such, the straight world will not accept me, and the transexual world wants me to change completely

Hmm.
That is a very interesting concept. It always makes me wonder "why" (to both pressures).
Why should anyone care or want you to do something or be a certain way (aside from not breaking local laws)?

I prefer the 'bi-gender' description and prefer to think of myself as deliciously different to all those who know me.

For me: any 'transition' would just leave me on the other side of the fence and just (and probably much more) frustrated.

I have chosen to focus my attention on my own motivations and happiness and I'm doing very well.
Part of this is that my SO is VERY accepting and we are in a good place together.

I am also surrounded by friends on this forum who have really enriched my life and view on GD.
Thanks GIRLS!:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

If others want to follow along great - but in the end - it's my journey.

I DO hope that you find happiness. I have.

[lexivanderpump]

You should only do whatever feels right and natural.

Love,
Lexi V.

[PaulaQ]

Nobody says y'all have to transition. It's really only something to do if you need it medically. I have nothing against crossdressers. I hang out with CDs from time to time. It's all good. If you can be comfortable, happy, and functional in your life just CDing from time to time, there's not any reason to transition. I am no guardian of the gender binary, I can tell you that.

[suchacutie]

I really like both of my gendered selves. Outside of my fantastic wife, I really don't care what anyone else wants me to do. I have too much invested in my male self to leave him behind, and Tina is surely never going away since it seems that at some level she was always there, albeit unrecognized.

My byline "making a life for Tina" is exactly what we did (and do) to allow us to find out who she is and, thus, enjoy her! My opinion is to be yourself and be happy doing it! :)

[cotton panty man]

Yes we accept everyone the way u r. I'm here 2 help u understand ur self & others.always my pleasure.