Am I a bad Crossdresser?

[Athena_]

Hi everyone,

I had an experience today that left me wondering if I am a bad crossdresser. My workday typically takes me to many different locations in a work week. Today, I happened to be in a location for an entire day. I was sitting at a desk in an office that I was told was currently unoccupied. I was working for a few hours and kicked something under the desk. I took a look under the desk to see what I was kicking. I then saw a very pretty pair of black satin leather pumps with a 4 inch heel. I was overcome by a desire to take my shoes off and try them on. I tried them on and they fit perfectly, like something from Cinderella! I wore them for a few hours in the office (descretly under the desk), then I was overcome by guilt. I took them off and carefully put them back under the desk. Those shoes belonged to someone, so I ask:

Am I a bad crossdresser for wearing those shoes?

I have been thinking about those shoes all day! My current DADT marriage has left me no time in the last 3 weeks to crossdress, and I wonder if this is why I happen to be obsessing over these shoes. All responses welcome.

[Annaliese]

No because you come to know that what you were doing was wrong, and took them off. Bad person would have taken the heels. Not speaking for anyone else, I would have done the something trying them on, after I would have look for a pair just like them.

[Tina955]

In that situation , I would have tried them on also.

Tina

[PertyX]

No, that's a lovely story. No harm done.

I'd have done exactly the same.

x

[Laura912]

Well, you could have held them up and asked if anyone lost their shoes. If no takers, then keep them at the end of the day? It is amazing that they fit!

[Stephanie47]

If you really liked the shoes I hope you made a mental note of the make, style and size. You may want to buy your own pair. You were occupying the desk of an absentee guy? Were you?

[KlaireLarnia]

I am going to through a voice of doubt here. I understand why you did it, but I do not think you should have. Had you tried them, taken them off and then gone looking for a pair yourself, I would say that is fine. But not wearing them all day, I would draw the line there. At work I leave a pair of trainers when I am not there, because I swap into them at lunch time to go walking or exercise - but I would never expect anyone to wear them when I am not around - i would be horrified if they did.

You do not know whose they where or why they where left there. To me wearing them, whilst a huge temptation is akin to going through some ones stuff and saying "what they won't know won't harm them". Whilst true, it is still not right.

[Yoshisaur]

You would of been a bad person in general if you had decided to take the shoes, but you decided to put them back so no your not a bad crossdresser. and besides i'm sure at one point in our lives we all tried on someone else's clothing before.

[Annaliese]

I answer this earlier, but a few day ago I answer one on, should I wear my wife pantyhose, my answer was get your own. I said on this post, that I would have try on the heels also. Am I a little fickle here. The hose, once you put them on there is no way, to put them back to the way they were, the heel, no harm done. I have not change my mind on either.

[natcrys]

Nah... no harm, no foul.. accidentally stumbling upon 4 inch heels at work? Heck, I'd probably done the same if I knew no one was looking.. and I have more than a hundred pairs of shoes! :p

It might not have been the completely right thing to do.. but hey.. we've all been there.. trying on someone else's shoes or clothes. :)

[cotton panty man]

Sounds like a great story. For me i have a size 15 shoe , it wouldn't for me. For u its a great story.

[Cara Lacey]

Years ago, in a land far away, I owned several apartment buildings, most were near a large University, so many of my tents were young college girls.

While doing maintenance on the buildings I routinely invaded the girls privacy.
I never tried anything on, but I did know the bra size of all my tenants.

That didn't make me a vad Crossdresser.... it made me a bad Landlord.

[sometimes_miss]

As an adult, I have come to believe that trying on someone else's clothing without their permission is wrong. So yes, you're a bad crossdresser. We all do it when growing up, mainly out of curiosity. But once we're past that point, to where we know what we're doing, then yes, it's wrong to do it (unless of course you have discussed it with the woman in question and know she welcomes you borrowing her clothes, much the same way that school age women often borrow each other's clothes/shoes/etc., while also of course welcoming HER to borrow your things!).

[nvlady]

I'm wondering if someone laid a trap for you, and you not only fell into it, you jumped in with both feet.

[AngelaYVR]

Bad crossdresser? Rubbish! A single act that you regret just makes you human. Stop worrying about it and go and buy yourself a pair of the same shoes! :daydreaming:

Angela xx

[Katey888]

I answer this earlier, but a few day ago I answer one on, should I wear my wife pantyhose, my answer was get your own. I said on this post, that I would have try on the heels also. Am I a little fickle here. The hose, once you put them on there is no way, to put them back to the way they were, the heel, no harm done. I have not change my mind on either.

Annaliese - Kudos to you for owning up to this one... :clap:

But, but, but, but..... :eek: there's some strange ethics in this place that really has my head spinning sometimes...

So - I thought it was OK for a husband to take his wife's no longer used PH as a one-off... overwhelmingly other folk said 'no - buy your own' - when in fact, they may very well have already bought those very same PH (man-wife common property...?) - although I admit I can't be sure...

But here - trying on a complete stranger's shoes...? Actually - no - not just trying them on... but wearing them for a few hours... That's OK....? :facepalm:

Athena - I want you to know I don't think you're a bad person for that... not at all - I think you succumbed to a temptation that many of us would have done... and I put my hand up too and say: yep - I probably wouldn't have resisted either... :surrender:

I'm just fascinated that there is such inconsistency among us... but I guess that's a people and culture thing as much as anything to do with CDing...

And yes Athena - I think small events like this appear to have greater significance if we are actively suppressing feelings... your obsession is probably partly the DADT and partly the staggering coincidence that destiny would drive you to that desk and those shoes that shouted... "try me, try me..." :)

"Fascinating, Jim.."

Katey x

[Marcelle]

Hi Athena,

I don't think you are a bad person. You acted on an impulse and got caught up in the moment. Don't beat yourself up for this one act.

Hugs

Isha

[Ressie]

Good point Katey, and I don't think it's terrible to wear the wife's pantyhose either. Most that responded to that thread were concerned that the wife would know or find out that someone was wearing her pantyhose. Many times I disagree with others because there doesn't seem to be much reason to have a thread if eveyone responds with the same answer. It turns into a groupthink scenario. Some of these threads are screaming for a devil's advocate. :devil:

So, why not wear the black satin leather pumps with 4 inch heels? Guilt turned out to be the reason for the OP. Guilt usually comes when trying on a woman's clothing behind her back (even the SO's). There must be other reasons like hygiene, fear of getting caught, etc. If I hadn't dressed in 3 weeks and found myself in that situation, I wouldn't be able to resist.

[Krisi]

I think it's very surprising that you would happen to find a pair of women's high heeled shoes under a desk that happened to fit you. Unless you have unusually small feet for a man, it would have been a very large woman who left the shoes.

I don't think you should have tried them on.

[hope springs]

1. They are shoes. Unless you got athletes foot, fungus etc your not harming the owner. You didnt take a car, bank account, underwear etc.

2. With a DADT and a few weeks no dressing, i understand the temptation.

3. This is one of those grey areas. Not your stuff, but in the end noone is harmed. Dont worry about it. You got some heel time and put them back.
Every GG i know has talked about buying a pair a snappy heels for a special event then returning them. Hell some even buy dresses for an event an return it. Is what you did that much different?

[Sandy423]

no at all.

Leave an anonymous note in them. if they aren't put away next time they will have a new home ;)

[Beverley Sims]

Maybe it is wrong but I would have succumbed to the temptation.

I think we all have had "bad moments".

[CD_DIANE]

I wouldn't say bad ....maybe forgetful ! Are you SURE they were not YOURS ? !

Diane

[Jodi]

My guess is that the owner of the shoes will know that someone else had on her shoes. She will ask, Who was sitting at my desk? Your name comes up. Your boss is notified. You are called in, confronted and fired.

Is that worth it?

Don't touch someone else's property when in another office. Yes, you are a bad CD.

Jodi

[Athena_]

Thanks you to all for your insights. I do appreciate the feedback.

Some responses to questions that were raised:

Jodi's point is one I have thought of since yesterday. What a way to lose a job! I am trying to picture my boss having that conversation with me.

To Krisi's post: I do have freakish small feet for a man. I usually wear a 7.5 US or 8 US men's shoe.

To nvlady: I find the idea of a crossdresser trap really interesting. I wonder is a suspecting SO or parent has ever tried to set one for their guy they suspected of crossdressing.

[MissAmy]

Might want to call it destiny to find a woman's shoes with big enough feet

[heatherdress]

Trying on or wearing a pair of shoes left in an office does not make anyone a "bad person". If you feel guilty about wearing someone else's shoes, that still does not make you a bad person.

Who really knows the details about the shoes you discovered? They were probably not brand new or not worn if left under a desk. Old or new, they were not important enough for the owner to put away appropriately. I see mountains of heels under some women's desks at work and most people think it is inconsiderate and unprofessional to make an office work place a closet. I think it is a bit much that you wore them all day, but that is not a big deal. Enjoy the memory and good luck at your next work place.

[kimdl93]

No....just unusually fortunate. I can't help but wonder who left her shoes behind. Maybe she word tennies to and from work.

[Crissy Kay]

Make that a no, for me too. As long as you are not stealing them, or doing violence to a person for them, you are worrying over nothing.

[Ressie]

Wearing sexy 4 inch heels are on my bucket list. Knowing myself, I probably wouldn't even hesitate or ponder the thought. But then I'd have to walk around in them a bit too ;)

[MsVal]

Oh, thank you. I was wondering where I left them.

Seriously though, this is not a good or bad thing. It is a little strange, but it is on the order of using a stranger's reserved parking spot. Don't beat yourself up for it.

[Anna Fakley]

No harm trying on a pair of "lost" or "forgotten" shoes!

[Jolene]

If you were a women and foumd a nice set of high heel shoes under a desk that were someone elses, you could have worn them around the office showing them to everyone and there would not be any big deal. What a difference gender can make. :)

[heatherdress]

In the last two buildings that I worked in, there were many women, especially young women, who stored their heels under their desks. Same thing where I work now. 5 to 10 pairs are not uncommon. I don't mind, in fact, I find it rather humorous. I see the last minute arrivals, the athletic shoes kicked off, they get on their knees - looking for matching pumps, and then - instant transformation, from commuter to business person with heels and some lipstick. Some even borrow shoes from each other, if they discover they do not have the right pair at work. Few managers have approached it as a clutter problem but most do not. It's OK and even seems to be expanding in numbers of women and pairs of shoes under desks. I have worked for some very senior female executives who have their own stashes of shoes.

I would think you are not the first person to try on a pair of high heels at work.

[lingerieLiz]

While many of us here have done the same or worse it is something that one should not do. Hope you enjoyed and he or she does not catch that someone was wearing their shoes.

[Tina_gm]

Time for a gendermutt buzzkill post I guess.... 1st, I am somewhat saddened that there are many replies here that say no big deal. You didn't do anything wrong. IMO, yes, yes you did do something wrong. Morals, manners, whatever you want to call it, but if you want to use or borrow something from someone else, you ask permission. I almost wish that the person who left their heels under their desk would have came back to retrieve them to find you wearing them. It would have been deserved. How would you think she would have reacted? hmmm? Other than the fact you are a guy, but even if it was another woman, how would the owner of the shoes feel and react if a stranger was wearing her shoes? How would any of us feel if someone came cruising by that we do not know and decides to wear any of our clothes, jewelry, or use any of our personal items?

This really has nothing to do with CDing, other than you wearing heels (and taking a ridiculous risk of getting caught). This is about basic decency here. I am not going to say you are a bad person for what you did, but you made a very poor decision and also an extremely risky one as well. I wonder if it was as much about the risk as it is wearing the heels?? either way, a very poor decision IMO.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I guess my therapist would say that your not a bad person, but that your behavior was bad.

And I agree.

You should be spanked ;-)

[Maria 60]

I think I did worst then that. I don't think I would know if someone wore my shoes.

[Charla McBee]

I understand where you are coming from, I think we all do but that doesn't make what you did alright. You're not a terrible person for doing one little questionable thing but it was still horribly disrespectful. I'm sure most of us have "borrowed" a lot of things without permission in our lives as crossdressers but I still always felt awfully guilty about it even though I tried to stick to mainly older items that weren't actively being worn. Since growing up I have tried to be completely free of borrowing. I believe the only thing I have borrowed without permission in recent years was a single blouse and I at least had the decency to wash it afterwards. That's why I understand your temptation but I still won't condone it. After how I felt last time, I really don't think I'm going to do it ever again. That's not the person I want to be anymore. I have my own clothes and I treat people with the respect I expect them to give me. That includes not touching my stuff.

[Badwolf]

Slightly wrong? Maybe.

You could have damaged them at any time.

As Nat says, no harm no foul though.

[Confetti]

No your not!A bad cross dresser asks a person out after they are so called single but is invovled with someone, because your presence is is gods gift to an admirer demand me style wigs for free on a rare day off (what I normally do for a living.).Then slip up and mention that their much younger girl friend swiped all their make up and could I use cosmetology licence also join a professional club (Nyc)for you to buy make up for him with my money.Then send lurid pictures desiring my affections and( make uncomfortable while I find shoes in store and dresses that fit....then upon leaving kiss and hug at check out, when you never ever show affection)again involved with someone already.That is a bad crossdresser not you,I think you should have what ever you need to slip on look down at your feet and feel pretty.I have a pair of shoes I bought in the UK patent leather stilettos will fit.I call them cinderfella shoes , one day the right dream doll They are a size8 -uk or us 11.They set a tone to my home on the mantel peice.

[NicoleScott]

Didn't most all of us get started this way, by putting on something that belonged to someone else? I would think that very few thought "I want to crossdress, so I need to go shopping first".

[Robyne Rocks]

It's not as if you stole the shoes, or even knew who they belonged to. I think you took advantage of an opportunity that was too good to pass up. I say accept the gift life threw you & try not to feel guilty about it. Though, I think the fact that you question the morality of your actions speaks well of your character. :-)

Did you happen to record the brand name of the shoes? Maybe you should try to get yourself a pair? ;-)

[Ressie]

I agree Nicole. I've been a terrible CD with unacceptable behavior. After slipping into the heels I would look for other misplaced attire to don. :daydreaming:

[Teresa]

Athena,
Very unusual for shoes to fit like that unless the owner was another CDer and stores them under his desk !!
Who ever owned them you might have done them a favour because you may have sretched them slightly and given them a better fit !

Or worse still you could be part of a candid camera sketch !!

Basically no harm done ! You just shared a little pleasure with someone else !!