Your first interactions with Services - Hair, nails, etc

[Jennifer-GWN]

I'd like to draw from your experience and I might just be really naive in this area... but for your first interactions with the services industry for all things feminine how did you approach it.

What did you say (after you first walked in the door), how did you present yourself the as you began your journey, etc.

I'm at a point where I need counseling :) youtube can only go so far.

My hair is now long enough to have something done with it while still, hopefully, allow me to straddle male and female as needed. I'd like my colors done...

I'm colorblind to a degree so need that personal touch of this x and this y go together and here's how with regards to make up.

I ready to engage with these services the first time; just need help with the initial approach and getting myself in the right frame of mind.

I feel like a little girl without a mother asking this question :battingeyelashes:

Cheers...Jennifer

[Leah Lynn]

Jennifer, in a way, most of us are like little girls without a mother... We didn't get to experiment with mom's makeup and such as real girls usually get to, or have a circle of friends to help us learn.

Many will tell you to just walk in as though you do it every week. Easy to say, not so easy to do. I've never been afraid of any man, but I'm instantly intimidated by a shop full of young ladies staring at me. The best I can tell you, is just go in and be yourself. Explain what you've come for, and expect (insist?) that you be treated with human dignity. Hopefully, a sister here can guide you to the shops that are known to be trans friendly.

Good luck,

Leah

[Cheyenne Skye]

The first time I colored my hair, I used Clairol nice and easy. Then when I went to a salon later, all I needed to do was ask for some touch ups. And then just tell the stylist I was looking to try a different style. We looked through some of those books they have and settled on long layers with a bit of curve to the ends.
The nail salon was a bit different. I started going for manicures before I came out. So my presentation changed while I became a regular client. I can now get any fancy design or bright color I want. (or course English is their second language so who knows if they are still poking fun at me in their native tongue and I just can't understand them)
For make up I went to a MAC store at a local mall and just asked for some advice on my color palette. I was assisted by an obviously gay salesman. He basically made me over and I ended up buying a few things (I'm sure he got commission on them). I've heard both MAC and Sephora are trans friendly. They will take your money just as easily as anyone else.

[allisonagain]

I can only relate positive experiences for all the services I've had both as a man and when out as Allison. Makeup, I've gone both ways to MAC and Clinique counters, had them go through all the makeup I would need and pick out the ones I liked with their help and even tried applying the products so I could get tips there too. It works best to go as a man since I have no makeup on then and they can see the blank 'canvas'. They are always extremely helpful and understanding. Hair I wore my wig in and said I wanted my hair done like my wig. No problems only delightful help. Nails, I go to a little place for mani/pedi/eyebrow wax and have only been as Allison but I couldn't pass and they are simply kind and sweet, helping and chatting along as if I was one of the girls. Yesterday I was at the dentist, as a man, left and noticed a salon next door. Went in and asked about eyebrow waxing and they offered to do it then. I told the girl I was trans and wanted arched feminine brows she cheerfully did just that. The bottom line is you're not the only man doing this. Plus money is money and a customer is valuable so businesses do their best to make you happy because they know you'll come back and tell others. It's a bit nerve wracking at first but with more adventures you become more comfortable, and it will show, and you will be treated just like the woman you are.

[Jennifer-GWN]

As a follow-up and thanks for all your responses.

Today I learned that Sales people are not monsters waiting to chew you up and spit you out. I've shopped in store before but always in guy mode never (and I say this loosely) enfemme. I've mostly relied on Online shopping.

Today I left home wearing a nice (my favorite) chiffon black blouse, camisole, bra, dress pants, and flats. Hair and Face in my normal mode but with my female glasses and a couple of bobbypins. Went to buy a sweater since online order was coming up OOS. Parked in underground parking and hiked through the mall to the store in casual pace (wished I had low heels vs. flats).

Well at the store, I casually browsed with moderate nervousness. Hangers and tags inevitably stick together to cause stress, sizes your looking for are always near a register full of people, floor staff always seem to need to fuss with the product just where you are looking.

Bonus no one asked if they could be of assistance.

I found just what I was looking for now the next step checkout. Deep breath and off I go on a mission to pay. Staff never batted an eye. Rang up the items, woohoo... bonus items on sale 30% off (someone was on my side today). Paid and exchanged smiles and left happily on my way back to the car again through the mall. I did sense a few glances along the way but I was in a devil don't care mood.

End result... happy customer.

For tomorrow, I've booked with a local spa to have my hair done. I've done this once unsuccessfully but I was in total boy mode (tee shirt and shorts). For tomorrow I have the perfect top (got that today) to go with leggins and my flats as a casual outfit for a hair cut.

I still struggle with the "what do you say" how much explaining do I need to do... so I've prepared the following little note for Rose (at the spa - she's highly recommended) to break the ice...

- I’m probably going to be your most interesting customer for today so thank you for your patience up front

- My name is xxx… My emerging name is Jennifer

- I’m a hopeless mess (hair related) :)

- I need a trim / style that I can work with

- My hair is finally at a length that I think provides some styling options

- I love the fact that I can curl it up for some body (just started experimenting with a curling iron) when I’m Jennifer

- However when I’m xxx (when on-site at work) it’s beginning to look scruffy and needs to be cleaned up

- I’d like a cut / style that allows me to be Jennifer and have an idea what I need to do at home to style it on my own

…while at the same time the cut needs to allow me to be xxx when needed

- I’d consider doing something with the grey at some point in the near future

- I’d also like to have my brows cleaned up as well

- Lastly I’d like your feedback (or someones) on how good a candidate I’d be for Laser; Face, Arms, Legs, and Chest and Back as this is something I need to consider shortly

- Is there an answer … Can you help me… please. Thanks Jennifer

Hair needs to be tackled tomorrow because I have an appointment at Sephora for Wed evening. With the right hair its time to tackle getting the right colors and a bit of education. (still love what Aly did for us in another post over the weekend)

Hair and Face will make for a solid step forward this week. I'm determined, but not sure I'm there yet, to attend a 1st meetup on Saturday might need to mingle and blend for awhile. We'll see how the Hair and Makeup sessions go.

Cheers...
Jennifer's mission continues

[kimdl93]

Hair...well, one day I just resolved that I'd get my stylist to work up a more feminine style. I went to the same stylist who cut my hair as a man, except I went en femme...and she learned a few new things about me while she experimented. It turned out pretty well, but I lacked the manual dexterity and styling skills to replicate it consistently...so I went the wig route.

Nails...I just walked in to the salon and asked for a mani pedi and acrylic nails. I sat among other women, a mom and daughter nearest me, read my kindle and sipped on the complimentary Chablis. Other than a glance or two I blended in un eventfully.

My wig fittings, makeovers, bra fittings etc all have followed the same pattern. No issues, some recognition that I might be ... but totally a non issue otherwise.

[Angela Campbell]

Explain? Why would you want to do that? Are you a woman? If so then be a woman and tell them how you want your hair, or nails. Why be half way?

for hair removal go to a laser center and get their opinion. The body hair is taken care of with hormones.

[Rianna Humble]

body hair is taken care of with hormones.

And with Veet (or whatever your local equivalent is)!

[Cheyenne Skye]

I know everyone is different, but after two years on hormones, I still have to shave my chest or my B - cup bewbs can look pretty gnarly.

[Jennifer-GWN]

Angela... Took your advice. My appointment was for 6 and arrived on time. Surprisingly my nervousness was at a minimum. I felt good, outfit looked good and I knew what I wanted. I was graciously greeted at the desk and ask to take a seat for a few minutes as others came and went. I'm still quite shy so avoided eye contact particularly given minimal makeup.

Stylist greeted me. We talked casually for a bit on what I was looking for. Tried as best to describe my needs.

We spent the next 2 hours choosing a very nice style to work forward with and wash/cut/layering/and styling. My hair in the back was already at a good length although sides still need a bit more length.

What surprised me the most was my sense of calm through the process especially when the final look started to emerge.

I left floating on cloud nine feeling so good. Feeling myself and very comfortable. Maybe in part due to the bit of hair spray applied. Hypnotic.

She also threaded my eyebrows which also made a big difference.

Tomorrow is Sephora for a makeover and get some guidance on colors. With my hair and brows done Im ready.

I'm in such a good frame of mind tonight and feel so good.

I'll get there slowly but surely but this has been such a good confidence builder for me. Ohh it's so nice to be out of the house and letting my real self free.

Cheers to all...
Jennifer

[DeeDee1974]

I have to admit that my ex-wife was my rock during early transition. She set me up for an appointment with her hairstylist without me even asking. She had been going to the same stylist for years and had told he about me pretty early in my transition. I still go there and feel like she has really helped me as far as best styling for my high forehead.

In actuality I have never had a horrible experience. The only thing that I noted one time was several glances from a Sales Associate. It was early in my transition and I could tell she was trying to put it all together. I was with my ex-wife and we were trying to get something nice(lingerie) for a weekend getaway.
Clearly she was focused on my wife and thought she was the customer, then she looked puzzled as my wife took items off the rack and held them up to me.

Finally she looked down to see I had on women's sandals and painted toes and she figured it out and was very professional and helpful.

[Jennifer-GWN]

Well last night was makeup night. Left the house equally confident as I was in getting my hair done the day before.

Arrived at Sephora a bit early as i wasn't sure where in the mall they were located as they've recently moved (conflicting websites).

What i found even before entering made me SOOOO Nervous... where are the private rooms for the 1 hour makeovers... they said private rooms or at least private areas... surely there's something behind those doors or walls...

Sadly no ... but have to chuckle now as I look back. Frankly the thought of having a full makeover in the very wide open terrified me. Much different situation from the small local salon experience getting my hair cut and styled. OMG OMG OMG

Deep breath... glup... I was well dressed... hair right... no makeup and well hey... I made it through and around the mall so things should go ok, I can do this. walked in..."Hi I'm Jennifer I have an appointment for a Makeover"

The SA tapped on her iPad found the appointment and replied "great, your in luck one of our best is going to help you tonight". Yippie. She then preceded to escort me to my chair. Bloody hell... Front of the store, Center front, Mirror reflecting outward, great I'm in full view. This I can only consider as the "test from on high"... Ok nerves calm down... It's going to be ok I said to myself.

As I sat waiting to get started I watched to see if I was attracting attention. Virtually none which helped allot again proves that the world goes on around. Few took notice but no adverse reactions or visible facial expressions.

I had 3 or for girls scurrying about checking colors, picking up things as they got organized.

We had a great time and it truly was a great experience. Darn expensive one but I was prepared for that going in. Not because of the cost of the make over this is gratis provided you spend xx$'s well certainly did that x10 (mental note its expensive being a girl).

My kit is complete and the colors chosen really did a number on my face. I told the SA - "not looking to be a Glam-a-zon" as we got started which really seemed to break the ice. In the end a nice workable "day-to-day" look that can be built on for evening.

I'm still rewinding the makeover in my head and will probably need the weekend to un-bag the items completely and organize myself at home beyond the basics for today and review what goes where.

But the story is not complete. The experience of having a make over was wonderful. They did offer to move me to a "less traveled" part of the store but I said no... I need to be able to do this and be comfortable so in the end positive experience and I looked great on completion. Nice to finally have makeup that doesn't feel like paste and irritate the eyes.

Where my self conscience meter took a beating was surprisingly in the checkout line. Behind the cashiers was a huge mirror that provided a panoramic view of the store and with that ME IN THE LINE.

Umph. a pause. What bothered me was not that I didn't look good it just how I stacked up against all the others girls in the line. I'm not tall... ok on the edge at 5' 11" didn't have on heals (chose the boots tonight) so no additional added height but I did stand out. Sheer size. I'm not a skinny wafe female. You know... like many here... blessed with big shoulders and broad width and it was abundantly obvious in the mirror as I stood among the other girls in line. From an outfit perspective I think I did pretty good with balancing features so as to minimize this issue but in the "police" lineup there's no place to hide regardless of outfit choice.

It was for me a bit of a reality check that made me reflect on the way home.

But hey I still looked good and felt good and in the end I know there's some things that I cannot change (aside from dropping a few pounds - 5 this week). Onward and upwards.

So all-in-all another good experience and yet another step towards Jennifer's outward facing womanhood.

Thanks for your continuing comments.

I'm sure there are a few of you who have been following are yelling at the screen - where's the pictures :). For you relax... hahah... I'll get there one step at a time.

So my next step is Dinner Outing with new group on Saturday. Not sure at this point if I'll be able to make it - not because of anything Jennifer related - but other duties and commitments.

Cheers... Jennifer

[larry]

Jennifer-Thanks for sharing. I laughed myself silly reading chapter 2 makeup. Just imagining myself in your shoes.

[Jorja]

It sounds like you have been having a wonderful time. Let me leave you with this, you are who you are! Be yourself. Be proud of it. Be glad you are not like all the others in line.

[Confetti]

You dolls are adorable, I wish more would come to my salon!

[celeste26]

I regularly go to a cosmetology school in my area that charges far less than most salons. All of the operators are supervised and with over a dozen cuts there never a negative word from anyone. My favorite nail salon is different though since it is right around the corner from my house, Vietnamese owners the gentleman is a better nail tech than his wife. Every six weeks i go back.

[Jennifer-GWN]

Jorja; thank you for the warm encouraging words.

Celeste; What a great idea and there happens to be one very close to home. I was very pleased with the service last night and don't regret the cost as it mostly represented stocking up on the basics and tools. I'm now set and won't hesitate to go elsewhere another time just for the pampering and skilled results. I'll also make sure that I have somewhere to go afterwards. No point looking that good to not go out and enjoy.

[becky77]

Behind the cashiers was a huge mirror that provided a panoramic view of the store and with that ME IN THE LINE.

Umph. a pause. What bothered me was not that I didn't look good it just how I stacked up against all the others girls in the line. I'm not tall... ok on the edge at 5' 11" didn't have on heals (chose the boots tonight) so no additional added height but I did stand out. Sheer size. I'm not a skinny wafe female. You know... like many here... blessed with big shoulders and broad width and it was abundantly obvious in the mirror as I stood among the other girls in line. From an outfit perspective I think I did pretty good with balancing features so as to minimize this issue but in the "police" lineup there's no place to hide regardless of outfit choice.
It was for me a bit of a reality check that made me reflect on the way home.
But hey I still looked good and felt good and in the end I know there's some things that I cannot change


You did well, many would have turned back rather than sit out front so very exposed. I think that's an achievement right there.
As for the mirror it hurts, in that moment you feel different and that you will never fit, but you do appear to have the right attitude about this.

It was a good experience, hold on to that and take strength from it.