Uh Oh!

[Wildaboutheels]

What if your SO were to come to you out of the blue...

And tell you "Honey, I think you should transition".

Now what?

SO or not, is there enough money to get YOU to do it and give up your male life completely? Surely that would affect at least some if not most of your existing RELATIONSHIPS?

Everything and everyone has a price?

[I Am Paula]

Nobody can DECIDE to transition, and nobody in their right mind would, unless they are, and always have been TS.
Feel free to give up your male life voluntarily, but an attempt to transition fully at the request of your wife, or for some sort of monetary gain, would be met by gatekeepers finding you incompetent.

[Marcelle]

Interesting question but there is only one real answer . . . unless you are already TS there is nobody that is going to give up their current identity to transition to the opposite gender as I assume you mean the whole nine yards (HRT, SRS and FFS). Perhaps there might be a few who would if the money was lucrative and I am assuming in the multi-million dollar range but once done I am guessing they are going to need some serious therapy to deal with their now GD issues.

Hugs

Isha

[Kate Simmons]

If I felt the need to do it, I would take the steps to do it. I don't need anyone's permission or blessing. Money is a concern of course but transitioning is not something you just decide to do after waking up one day.:)

[Aly Cat]

Transitioning is a deeply personal choice that for a lot of us is a do or die situation. It has no monitary value because the feelings we have and the relief we experience when transitioning is priceless. For those who are TS, we experience a great relief when we start transitioning. It's like being able to finally start the life we feel like we always should have had from the beginning.
It's true, some of us lose friends and family because of it. We live in a sad world where people fear what they don't understand. The great thing is that the world is changing and light is on the horizon. I have noticed that more people who are transgender are stepping out and becoming more public with their lives instead of hiding.
I have taken the steps to be me and it has cost me my marriage, my parents, and several close friends. You know what I've gained though? Harmony of body and mind, new very supportive friends, a supportive workplace, and a whole new life with new possibilities. I couldn't be happier. Sure I have downtimes like yesterday for instance lol, but the good far outweigh the bad. I am transitioning and my life now is priceless.

[Jason+]

Since my wife has made it clear that if transition were to be my path or even wanting to be as en femme as I get for a significantly larger portion of the week than we have currently agreed to is more than she could handle it would be time for a serious and possibly professionally moderated discussion.

[ReluctantDebutant]

Like most cross-dressers the idea of transitioning crossed my mind but long ago stories like that of Aly Cat showed me how unserious my thoughts were. I agree one should be TS before one gets such operations. But for the sake of argument this question does bring up a interesting point. Why should that matter? If it doesn't or rather shouldn't matter about a man wearing a dress why should it matter if a guy wants to change his plumbing. If we are going to argue that a dude can get dolled up in make-up, wig, skirt, blouse, heels, stockings, breastforms, and should be ma'amed and missed by SA at a store and still be treated like one of the guys at work couldn't a man who got a sex change on a whim, bet, or pay, expect similar support. After all ones gender identity is up to the individual. Why should it matter to anyone else the reason a person gets a sex change?



Everyone does have their price but so far I don't think the human race knows enough about math and economics to calculate my price yet.

[Shelly Preston]

I actually think this not really a question.

If you SO thinks you should transition I would suggest its good she is so supportive to you and nothing more.

Only you can decide if its the right thing no one else

[Kris Avery]

Agreed with all points so far.

I do have a slightly modified opinion.

While I have had real TS feelings for all my life - in fact much longer than I have had a label for and would ever admit to...I'm happy presently with me "as-is" - without extreme body modifications and transition.

I like to think of it like if I were in a massive car wreck and there was only one way to save me and it was a brain transplant..then OK you have my attention and probably wouldn't fight..too hard... :heehee:

Short of this... For me....the price to align physical body with mind is way way way to high and always will be.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion and I respect other TS who feel they have no choice.

[Nikki A.]

This thread can go either of two ways.
If you are a true TS and have been fighting the feelings and your SO sees what you're going through. Then her giving you the OK to go through with transitioning would be a positive.
However unless you are that committed then to do it for someone else is all wrong. I do respect and admire the guts of the people who I've met that have transitioned. However, I'm not sure that I could go through all that and give up my male side.

[Suzanne F]

I have started the process and I assure you it wasn't at anyone's request. I have found most people supportive but I am not out at work yet. Everywhere else I present as a woman. It is an enormous decision and not to be made lightly. In my case every step toward being a woman has felt right. I also believe that as more of us come out the world becomes a better place for everyone that is somewhere on the transgender spectrum.
Suzanne

[Yoshisaur]

I would honestly feel much better knowing it was a decision I made on my own, not because someone else requested so. If I were to ever transition and leave my male half behind it would have to be because I wanted it not because of money or people telling me to.

[Candice Mae]

Transitioning is a deeply personal choice that for a lot of us is a do or die situation. It has no monitary value because the feelings we have and the relief we experience when transitioning is priceless. For those who are TS, we experience a great relief when we start transitioning. It's like being able to finally start the life we feel like we always should have had from the beginning.
It's true, some of us lose friends and family because of it. We live in a sad world where people fear what they don't understand. The great thing is that the world is changing and light is on the horizon. I have noticed that more people who are transgender are stepping out and becoming more public with their lives instead of hiding.
I have taken the steps to be me and it has cost me my marriage, my parents, and several close friends. You know what I've gained though? Harmony of body and mind, new very supportive friends, a supportive workplace, and a whole new life with new possibilities. I couldn't be happier. Sure I have downtimes like yesterday for instance lol, but the good far outweigh the bad. I am transitioning and my life now is priceless.

Pretty much nailed it, my thoughts exactly.

[heatherdress]

If my SO suggested that I should transition, I would think I was with someone else's SO. She would never suggest transitioning and I would never want to transition.

[sometimes_miss]

Actually, when my ex told me she wanted a divorce, one of the things she recommended to me was to move to San Francisco so I could learn to be with 'my people', and that I should just get over it and 'get the surgery' and be done. She had spent a lot of time online with SO's of crossdressers so called 'support' groups, needless to say, she got all kinds of horror stories there which contributed to her brilliant deductions.
Transition? It would take a whole lot of money, I'm talking lots of millions, because it would mean limiting my female intimate companionship to 'professionals' for the rest of my life, as there are so few as to be virtually ZERO normal or gay women out there looking for post op MTF's. as it is, I'm almost in that situation now anyway, but by choice, as sometimes I just get tired of dealing with all the dating BS. It's so hard, dating, to find someone who's not completely nuts. Now I know that most women would consider me, as a CD'er, crazy too, but gee.

[Aly Cat]

I know what you mean, when my ex left me, she said something similar. "Without me in the picture, you can find others like yourself who you can be happy with..." Yeah, that's exactly why you're leaving me... Take some responsibility for your emotions and just say, "I don't want to be married to a transsexual." At least at that point, she's being honest.
I'm not even looking for anyone. If Mr/Ms Right comes along and sweeps me of my feet? Great! If not, which I'm expecting not, then my live will carry on as a solo act and I will be just fine.

[Candice Mae]

And as Aly touched on dating during transitioning is akward, going from being the "man" in my past relationships to being the "woman" was a new experience. She actually bought me lingerie one day, and knowing what she wanted that was the end of the relationship.

[Beverley Sims]

I was ready to transition years ago but not now.

Even with my wife's encouragement, should that happen.

I like myself as I am.

I am just a coward these days.