who to call for help first.

[philipratliff]

Looking for advice, long time reader.
My first post so I will make it short.
I am a 55 year old CD. On and off for years, have dated (men) and gone out in public a few years back.
I have had a major breakdown living ad two different people, and i can not do this any more.
Had to call our local help line yesterday because I almost made a bad choice
Should I start with my GP Doc, or Psychologist, and last had anyone just walked into the local hospital for help, I really do not want lock in a room and labeled a nut case.

So not after pity, or poor me, just advice.

[Jorja]

Sorry to hear you are having this problem. I would start by contacting a Psychologist. Not anyone though, make sure they have experience in gender related issues. You don't say where you are located but you will usually find gender therapist in larger cities and near colleges. I hope this helps some. Please don't be a stranger to this forum as it appears you could the help now.

[Annaliese]

Seek a help line, would be the fastest and they can refer you to someone fast.

[philipratliff]

Thank you I have left a message with two Psychologist.
My location is 60 miles north of Seattle.

[Krisi]

I would start with your family doctor. He or she will steer you in the right direction.

[philipratliff]

Again thanks, I feel stupid to have asked, should be easy.
I will call my doctor. It was the first advice the help line told me

[Kimberly Kael]

In the Seattle area, Jana Ekdahl at Transformational Unfolding (www.transformationalunfolding.com) is a respected therapist, and Linda Gromko is an excellent trans-friendly physician at Queen Anne Medical Associates (http://queenannemedicalassociates.com). There are quite a few other options in the area. For immediate outreach you may also want to get in touch with the Ingersoll Gender Center (http://ingersollcenter.org).

Take good care of yourself! There are lots of people out there who want to see you healthy and happy.

[Brianna_H]

If you feel you may do yourself harm, that is a psychiatric emergency worthy of a 911 call. No one's going to put you in a padded cell. Don't be afraid to get the help you need to live. Emergency rooms are not just for physical injuries.

If you can handle the wait, use these other channels people have recommended.

As Jorja said, we are here to listen if you need to unburden yourself.

[NancyJ]

If you are a danger to yourself, then go to a hospital. You won't be labeled a nut case--you will just be helped over the hump. Beyond that urgency, I would suggest seeing a therapist. Best if it is a gender therapist, but doesn't have to be just to get started, to get support, get stabilized, and that therapist can then refer you. Google "gender therapist" and/or go to Laura's Playground website for a listing of gender therapists. Be aware that a psychologist is just one of several types of mental health professionals that can help, understand, and even diagnose and write the "gender dysphoria" letter if that's what you end up wanting. (Also clinical social workers, psychiatric nurses, marriage and family counselor so licensed professional counselors)

I totally get the stress of living dual life--live it myself. You are relatively young and still have many years to become who you want to be. And, you are in a high-risk group for suicide (actually 2--men in midlife and those who are transgendered), so please get help. Doesn't have to be the perfect therapist to start because that person can refer you on. Plenty of competent therapists as well as large TG community in Seattle. Nancy

[Andy66]

im just glad you reached out to somebody, Philip. Doesnt even matter in which order. What matters is you reached out. Its gonna be okay now. :hugs:

[KellyJameson]

Please don't be intimidated by the TS section. This is a serious section because GD can be life threatening and by your words you are well aware of this.

There are many reasons to be reluctant to share. Embarrassment, shame, guilt, transphobia, confusion, doubt. Feeling "crazy" and not wanting others to know how deep the crazy goes or fearing that once you open Pandoras box you may "really go crazy"

Trolls and those who think "becoming" a woman is a wonderful idea won't be tolerated for long but those who are genuinely suffering and are reaching out are always welcome.

There are common threads of experience that come out of being a woman whose world is not aligned with her mind,soul and spirit.

It truely is a tragedy for those who have been forced to live this way, made worse because very few will sympathize with the terrible pain that is so difficult to communicate or understand.

The loneliness of the experience just adds to the pain. It is very important to realize that you are not alone in this.

Living at odds with and against every single moment of your existence takes it's toll and leaves similar scars on those who have experienced this.

You are not crazy but simply in pain. This is a good place to explore that pain.

You may be wounded but you are not broken and don't let anyone tell you differently.

[DebbieL]

If you've done anything to harm yourself, then get immediate medical attention. This doesn't seem to be the case, but if it is, don't be bashful. Better to talk to your doctor than have to call 911, but even that's better than doing irreversible damage.

Thank you so much for reaching out. As you have already seen, there are some great resources here and it's now available because you simply asked.
Most of us, especially those of us who are your age or older, have been where you are now. Back in the 60s we had libraries, and you could hunt for MONTHS without finding ANYTHING about gender dysphoria. Harry Benjamin's paper wasn't even PUBLISHED until 1969, and even within the gay community drag queens and female impersonators were not the best resources for gender identity information. Many therapists wouldn't even TALK about "Gender Identity Disorder", in some states they could lose their licenses for doing so.

The good news is that the APA is now doing hundreds of workshops on Gender Dysphoria, and the resources available. Your current psychologist may be able refer you to a therapist with the right experience in GD.

Don't worry about being a CD for a long time. Many of those of our generation who were TS often had to "Settle" for being CD because procedures were so expensive, so difficult to get, and so inadaquate. Fortunately, it's been almost 70 years since Christine Jorgensen, and in those years, the technology has advanced considerably.

Still, you need to see the therapist to help you sort out where to go from here. If you decide you want to transition, you will need a therapist to guide and support you through the process. The good news is that you already have experience living as a woman at least part titme, and that may be taken into consideration.

Feel free to continue to take part is this group. You will find a LOT of experience, strength, and hope, regardless of where you choose to go from here.

[philipratliff]

This is a great help, my doctor appointment is in two hours.
I am definitely scared to talk to him but now it is more about just saving my self, then moving forward.
This site, and all of the members are, amazing, I have found help and courage to face the next day.

Edit

Wow my doctor was great, hardest thing I have done, to be completely truthful about my self, just to have it come out of my mouth
I strongly recomend it.
Waiting for call from Psychologist.
PS: Think I always knew that the "CD" label did not fit me right, just like my jeans, to baggy and a poor fit.
maybe a good day to buy a new pair.

[philipratliff]

Don't want to be a drama queen and say you girls saved my life, but you did. Smile and stand tall, your are truly my angles.

[Andy66]

Awww... :hugs: It was very brave of you to take that first step. Im sure it wont be all rainbows and unicorns, but it sounds like youre doing way better than before. You go, girl. :)

[Jorja]

We can only make suggestions and relate experiences here. You are the one that saved your own life. You reached out and with some help, were able to find the help you need. Andy is right, it is not going to be easy dealing with this demon called Transgenderism. It will rear it's ugly head often and if you let it, it will take a bite out of your backside. How you deal with it will make all the difference in the world.

[philipratliff]

OK I am back from seeing my family, and life did not end, just reborn.
my sister listened to me, and my love of my life, my daughter is said loved me.
my sister opened my trust fund that my mom left us, and I start therapy Thursday.
I still do not know witch path to take but I can breath again.
Thank you angels.
I know that I got very lucky, and my heart goes out to the ones that have to fight the battle every day.
PS, I learned crying a lot is not such a bad thing.

[Julie Gaum]

Have been reading threads here for nine years and this one personifies the very best of this Forum. Sure Seattle is an easier place to find help than in many parts of our country but, nevertheless, fast and valuable information was offered by sisters now living elsewhere. Angels no but wonderful human beings who have felt your pain as they had experienced their own and often in the days before help was available.
I'm proud and applaud you all.
Thank you
Julie