CDing Comaraderie

[Wildaboutheels]

Many posts make it clear that the vast majority here would like to have other CDing friends to go out with/shop/hang around with etc. It also seems many here haven't/won't go out because they have no other CDers local to them. [that they are aware of]

And of course quite a few here know AND go out with other Forum members.

If you are someone, who has never gone out [with another CDer] just take your best guess but NO specific names please. This is not about any popularity contest here. About how MANY other Forumites would be a good match for you? Would their attitude/approach/mindset/presentation etc., need to be compatible with yours?

Or is having a CDing buddy more along the lines of being safer? Wouldn't 2 [or more] CDers out and about be MORE likely to attract attention?

[Annaliese]

I would go with anyone, willing to go with me, for me it is the Comaraderie if you dress, then we have something in common. I am ready, my problem is that so many say they want to go out and want a CD friend, but when approached, back off, and stop contact.

[Princess Grandpa]

I can only think of a handful on these forums I would be unwilling to spend time with. I have great respect for some here and would be proud to call them friends IRL. I feel a deep connection to most of the members and would gladly socialize with them. There are a few I dislike intensely and it takes all my self control to not post my true feelings and opinions about them.

Hug
Rita

[GingerSeti]

I think the ideal thing would be to go out in a group, a little like an event. Less likely to run out of things to talk about! Two couples (CD,GG,CD,GG) works well too because the GGs can relate and nobody feels like a third wheel. There are many members here that sound like they would be fun but geography is the major issue. I read the posts and can tell who takes their time and doesn't want to offend - and their are some that don't care what they say. Even based on that, the list of those I'd like to meet some day is long and diverse. I'd love to get together with the UK girls someday because my experience there has been positive before. Plus they seem to have more events going on than we do here in the USA. I do think Europe in general is more tolerant of alternate lifestyle choices and doesn't fixate on it like around here. Anyway, good question.

G

[Madilyn A.]

I've been on this site for near 5 years, I can say I have met online some of the best people I know. In addition to dressing, so many have other similar interests as I, and strike me as wonderful human beings. There are a few in the Philly area who I have met here online and sparked a true friendship who have encouraged me to get out with them to the many CD meetups in the area. As yet, I am still unable to find the time to do so.....call me chicken !

[Kate Simmons]

I don't mind having any number of CDing "buddies" to talk to and drink with when I go to the club but they have to realize up front that I will be on that dance floor a lot 'cause I LOVE to dance en femme.:battingeyelashes:

[Beverley Sims]

I would socialise with just about any one here, my only rule is I am against militancy, if you have a definite opinion about something air it but not constantly.
I would be asking questions as I like to learn how others cope with life.
I could sit in Starbucks in times square and discuss the passing parade outside with others.
levity is the key with me, I do not take life too seriously.

[Yoshisaur]

I've actually never gotten to meet a CDer in real life I would like to though

[larry]

I am all booked for "Fantasia Fair" next month. That will be by jumping in point. hehehe

[Jean 103]

I would like to have someone to go out with, coffee, shopping , whatever . I have sat next to CDers at the local Indian casino. I wanted to talk to her but .... I was in guy mode at the time.

[Jodi]

Remember about going out in a group--the larger the group, the better the chance of being clocked and attention drawn to the group. Two cd's no problem. Three cd's a 50% chance of being clocked. Over three cd's in a group and you have a 95% chance of being read. This is from my own experience on being out and about.

Jodi

[chelyann]

i would love to go out and fun on the town with some of you lovely lady's but we are a few miles apart :)

[Seana Summer]

To me its not a high priority to "go out" dressed, little chance I will blend in and its more work than its worth to me. I would not mind a friend or 2 to go have lunch with and talk with in person from time to time. Maybe go shopping occasionally

All in due time

[Allison Chaynes]

I don't go out, but it would be nice to have a friend just to talk to about CD stuff from time to time. Problem is, most of them I have met in person want something sexual, which isn't for me.

[Seana Summer]

Problem is, most of them I have met in person want something sexual, which isn't for me.

Maybe not most that I know, but that is a concern of mine too.

[Genny B]

I went to a gather of over 60 earlier this month. It was my first time out in public. I had met with the group before but it was at a home. I met some great people that night, but I have to admit I had just as much fun at a friends house that five of us met at before to get ready!

Genny B

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi WAH, It really sounds like fun but I don't think that I will ever be able to go out.

[Sometimes Steffi]

First of all, I'm going to brag a little. I've met 14 of my friends from here FtF. I have made some very good CD friends who I see regularly There are many people here I would love to meet. Once, on a trip to Denver, I connected with about 25 members of the Mile High Transgender group. I would meet just about any CD/TS, and I'll even make an offer. If you're coming to the DC area, PM me and I'll see what I can arrange, subject to keeping the non-accepting wife happy..



Remember about going out in a group--the larger the group, the better the chance of being clocked and attention drawn to the group. Two cd's no problem. Three cd's a 50% chance of being clocked. Over three cd's in a group and you have a 95% chance of being read. This is from my own experience on being out and about.

Jodi


I guess it's true, but I just don't really care, as long as it is safe.



I went to a gather of over 60 earlier this month. It was my first time out in public. I had met with the group before but it was at a home. I met some great people that night, but I have to admit I had just as much fun at a friends house that five of us met at before to get ready!

Genny B

I was also in the group of 60.

[Gillian Gigs]

I have met another CD/TS from this site at the coffee shop for a coffee and donut. Both of us endrab, but that is not the point, we had a time of fellowship and a chance to talk, getting to know each other abit better. Would I like to meet others, yes, but I am not bothered about how we are dressed. I am more interested in sharing with, understanding, caring for, and having a relationship, which goes beyond the superficial, and extends to the soul. How I envy the relationships that women have with each other, most quickly get past any competitiveness, and simply relate to each other on a different level than guys ever do. Most guys are too afraid to allow anyone near enough to get into a relationship like most women have with each other.

[Carmen]

Remember about going out in a group--the larger the group, the better the chance of being clocked and attention drawn to the group. Two cd's no problem. Three cd's a 50% chance of being clocked. Over three cd's in a group and you have a 95% chance of being read. This is from my own experience on being out and about.
Jodi

Yes 2 seems to be the key for me.
I have been out several times with another sister and we were basically accepted and treated with respect.

[BillieJoEllen]

There is one lady here that I would love to meet with but it seems like every time we try to make plans to meet she has an excuse. I do think she is afraid of me which I can appreciate and understand. At present I haven't anyone to talk to.

[LelaK]

Hi WAH, It really sounds like fun but I don't think that I will ever be able to go out.

How about in VR? Virtual reality? That would be a great way to meet everyone.

[docrobbysherry]

I have met 30 or more cd.comers at the SCC. Maybe 10 or so at the DLV. And, another dozen locally at clubs and gatherings. I can't recall even ONE member that I haven't liked! Mind u, in groups and on outings, it's difficult to find the relaxed one on one time required to really get to know someone. I've only had that opportunity with maybe 15 or so cd.comers? However, with many others at the SCC relaxing in the bar, evenings there.


I don't go out, but it would be nice to have a friend just to talk to about CD stuff from time to time. Problem is, most of them I have met in person want something sexual, which isn't for me.
I get hit on a lot online. But, NEVER HAVE BEEN here on cd.com. Maybe 1 or 2 flirts? And, never had a discussion regarding sex with another cd.comer online or in person!


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Or is having a CDing buddy more along the lines of being safer? Wouldn't 2 [or more] CDers out and about be MORE likely to attract attention?
This is an excellent point, Wild. While out at Disneyland at Halloween a few years back, I met 2 other closet CD's there. One was best described as "partially dressed/costumed". The other had a terrific costume and may have passed with kids. Being masked, I passed pretty well. When we walked around together we attracted a lot of negative attention. Altho, much of it was because they were so nervous being out for their first times. After an hour, they went home. So, I wondered around on my own for a couple of hours and the reaction from other park attendees changed dramatically!

Other than on Halloween, I can't pass. And, I find going out with other dressers to vanilla venues to be less stressful and WAY MORE FUN than going out on my own. In fact, I don't go out dressed alone except to costume events.

As a closet dresser, I find things like going to Denny's or Macy's dressed to be very stressful and pointless unless I can pass!

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

As has been suggested here, there are many clubs and hopefully one close enough for you to drive to. Best is to do a search and find one. Then contact the administrator and ask about any meetings. There will be a certain caution for everyone involved and screening but if you do make contact, you could first attend a meeting in drab. I've done that and with a friend I already met we attended a support meeting. I met people all along the spectrum from drab to transitioning. I met a lot of friendly people and some who I'd avoid.

That may not have happened if I hadn't fist met annother girl. Back in the 1990's I saw a personal ad in Tapestry magazine by someone a few towns over. I sent a letter to Tapestry to forward to this girl. (That's how they handled contacts.) We eventually met in drab on a Saturday afternoon in a busy McDonalds parking lot. We've been friends ever since.

I don't want to suggest Craigslist. Too many bad things happen there.

Cheryl

[samantha rogers]

I have now met several girls from here ftf, maybe a dozen or more now. Sometimes dressed, sometimes in drab, sometimes in groups and sometimes one on one. Always had a great time :-)
Never been hit on but I think everyone knows Im married and not into that. That or its my breath...:heehee:
Everyone I have met has been awesome. Some are now very good friends.
As far as passing in groups...you know, I dont know if I pass or not. I try, of course, and I think I do alright at my height, bur regardless, it has never stopped me from going out with anyone, whether they pass or not. I know a lot of people care about getting read, and I respect and understand that..I really do. But I guess, for me, I just dont care as much, not really. This is who I am. This is me. These are my friends. And I care way more about them than I do the opinions of strangers.
I try to present as well as I am able. I really do. I take it seriously.
Its who I am. Its not a costume...its me.
But if I am read as not gg anyway...well, so I am read. It is not going to stop me from being out with a friend or friends.

[Vanessa5]

As I go out more I think I would like another sister to go with. If nothing else just for the conversation. Having friends locally would make it easier to make plans and not travel all over. Who knows maybe a local sister knows a great place to shop that you didn't and wouldn't know about unless you went.

[Allison Chaynes]

I get hit on a lot online. But, NEVER HAVE BEEN here on cd.com. Maybe 1 or 2 flirts? And, never had a discussion regarding sex with another cd.comer online or in person!

I haven't had it happen here. But of the three I have met in person, two of them were looking for that. I suppose that's what you get when you try to make a friend from Craigslist though, even when you clearly spell it out. The other gurl was nice, but she moved out of the area.

[Ally 2112]

I would also like to go out with the gurls .But im not really sure how to make it happen

[Nadya]

I would love to have some CD/TG friends near me. I wouldn't necessarily want them just to go out dressed up but I would definitely feel more comfortable going out with someone like me. For me, it's more knowing that I'm not the only one out that loves doing it out in public. :)

[carahawkwind]

If I was unattached I'd likely make some CD friends to go out with, but in my current situation I'm not really sure how my wife would really feel about it, I feel like it might be one of those situations where she'd say it was ok, but wasn't it really for some reason. Maybe if we knew another couple where the guy was a CD and she knew the woman we'd both feel better about it.

[Lexi Moralas]

I would love to go out with another CD.
Problem is when I was able to go out off it was almost always during the day when most other people are working , and now my opportunity to go out are so rare. It's not really fair for me to try to make plans with someone. But a day out shopping or even just grabbing coffee and doing for a walk In the park with another cd would be a dream. I have meet other CDs on the few occasions I had been able to go to a CD Night club. But interaction was limited to basic pleasantlys

[Simone's Lil' Sis]

Many posts make it clear that the vast majority here would like to have other CDing friends to go out with/shop/hang around with etc........And of course quite a few here know AND go out with other Forum members........
It's the 'etc' that got me into the HELL I'm in now.
*My updated 'About Me' explains it all.

[Adriana Moretti]

I met a bunch of gals from here in person, and some I chat with on a daily basis and others I have late night text wars, or video chats...never has sex been mentioned or an issue. I think there is a different breed of girl here. Which is a good thing. It keeps the creepy closet queen craigslist crawlers where they belong...on craigslist. I also made alot MORE CD friends just being out in public, THEY are a totally different breed than even on here...there is alot less paranoia, no closets,or excuses, more acceptance and lots of fun. Those gals are on such a different level, they are not even on here but are fully out in public and in social media, come to think of it...most of my friends I met personally from cd.com are the same way...they only pop on from time to time. As far as going out in groups...I LOVE it....sure we get read...but so what. I guess ya gotta go with the right group that just dosent care and has confidence.This is supposed to be fun and bring enjoyment in your life...not worries, stress,guilt, and paranoia.

[Robyne Rocks]

This is supposed to be fun and bring enjoyment in your life...not worries, stress,guilt, and paranoia.

Thank you! That's what I always say!

[Melissa_59]

I'd love to meet people who live in my town that crossdress and are also into computer gaming or astronomy or other crafts I can do, I just don't think there are any in this West Texas town - at least that I've ever seen. I can be sociable :)

I've kept my eyes open but this is a right wing fundy town, I've simply never even seen a hint of someone who might crossdress in this burg.

~Melissa

[Beverley Sims]

Jodi,
If there is a larger group, there is always strength in numbers.
This way you are not as likely to be singled out because with a group there is a blur of senses and lack of concentration from onlookers.

[Julie Denier]

I would have never made my first public trip dressed if not for the guidance and support of a forum sister who facilitated not only the outing, but a safe place to get dressed. It was also my first opportunity to meet other crossdressers.

[ArleneRaquel]

Julie,
That Forum member sounds like a great person. Love & Best Wishes !

[CDJessie]

Hi, I am still very new to this and been reading a lot. What it seems to me is that even though I enjoy CDing I would have to be very comfortable going out and all that. My fear is not about getting outed but instead my body figure would suit the right clothing I would wear. I always fantasied about going out in flats, jeans and a hoody at night to cover my face. I am sure with make up i would look a lot different but I never got as far as putting on make up yet. I believe I am still small dressing up phase. 1 problem is my wife is afraid of our kids seeing me and than start talking about it in public and bringing unwanted attention to us. But some day I would like to be able to dress up and go out with a fellow CDer and go shopping it coffee :)

[lexivanderpump]

I would only go out with another CDer after carefully getting to know her in here, via pm or email. I wouldnt just go out with just any "Forumite" as you put it.
I keep my friends close and my CDing girlfriends even closer.

Love,
Lexi V.

[Robyne Rocks]

Melissa, we live in the DFW area of TX. I have spent some time in West TX & I imagine it'd be very hard to be openly CD or any sort of LGBT there. I once knew a lesbian who grew up in Midland/Odessa, & her reports of discrimination & bigotry weren't too pretty. But in such a town, there are probably more CDers than you realize, because they've likely learned to hide it very well.

I do wish we had some CD friends to hang out with. I'm sure they're out there, but how do you find them?

[Jean. Ann]

Hello my name is Jean Ann
I am from the lower panhandle area

[Melissa_59]

Melissa, we live in the DFW area of TX. I have spent some time in West TX & I imagine it'd be very hard to be openly CD or any sort of LGBT there. I once knew a lesbian who grew up in Midland/Odessa, & her reports of discrimination & bigotry weren't too pretty. But in such a town, there are probably more CDers than you realize, because they've likely learned to hide it very well.

I do wish we had some CD friends to hang out with. I'm sure they're out there, but how do you find them?

San Angelo, here. Yes, it's not the friendliest place for CDs, LGBT, etc. They do see more of it here with the military base nearby than Midland/Odessa does, but they turn a blind eye because of the military now that it's no longer a "discharge offense" to be gay in the military (although I'll wager that Crossdressing will still pick up a crash landing).

Feels kinda lonely sometimes out here, but then again we don't have a lot of crime and we don't have much traffic to speak of. There are bonuses to living in small towns.

~Melissa

[susanmiller64]

I have gone out by myself and also with other crossdressers, I am really lucky as Portland Oregon where I live has a really active t-girl group, almost 300 members of which 30 or so go out regular, couple times a week.
That being said the more in the group the more attention you will get so a lot depends on where you are going, to a club not a big deal, going shopping better off not going in a big group. Most females shop by themselves or with 1 or at most 2 other woman, more than that would draw attention.
Now I may get beaten up for this but when going out there does need to be some thought about who you go out with and I am not talking about how well you look or pass. I have one good friend who is into the fetish side of crossdressing, she always dresses over the top, very sexy or in costumes (maid outfit). I would not go to the mall with her of course I don’t think she has ever gone anyplace other than a fetish club.
There are also many tg events around the country ranging from the beginner (first time out like Esprit http://www.espritconf.com/ ) to ones that are very main stream like Diva Las Vegas http://www.geekbabe.com/dlv/ . these are great ways to meet others in person in a safe environment.