Dress to pass or not?

[Megan.]

Hi there i have a quick question for you all when you go out en femme (that is if you do go out) do you dress to pass as female or not i always try my hardest to pass as female when i am out this includes makeup and a wig as i think it would be a bit weird not to when you are dressed in female clothes

what are your opinions on this subject

meg

[Stevann]

I dress to pass. Whether I succeed or not is another question. But it's rare that I have a problem when out.

[StephanieCLT]

Agreed. I dress to pass.

[paulaprimo]

i dress for me, as i feel wonderful when i do, but do try and blend! :)

[charlenesomeone]

Dress to pass and blend but with my size I'm read unless from a distance.
Do what GG's do and stay out of "dangerous " situations.
Chin up and keep smiling. And even if you don't venture out,enjoy.
Char

[ArleneRaquel]

I dress for my own pleasure and enjoyment. My days of thinking about passing are long gone.

[cassandra54]

definitely dress to pass. or blend in. are right to think it would be odd to wear women's clothes without a wig and makeup. it not only will make your experiences easier, but the more that we as a whole come and go as we please, it makes it easier for all of us. as they say, out of sight, out of mind.

another thing I've learned is that dressing to pass does not mean picture-perfect. GGs hair and makeup is not always perfect, so why should ours be?

[Melanie B]

Passing is a pretty hard (impossible?) target, but I certainly aim to blend -- wig, make-up, and clothes that are appropriate to my age and the venue.

[Ivy Lee]

i always dress to pass, that is all of the fun for me

[Rachel_B]

I don't dress to pass, I dress because that's who I am. I do it with some common sense though, if I'm going to be wearing a skirt without tights or a shirt that shows skin, I will be cleanly shaven. Bottom line is that I want to be treated as the gender I express, if I appear female that's how I want to be referred as.

[Clodagh]

I don't see the point of dressing unless it is dressing to pass. It's the only way to go.

[Molly James]

Very early days for me at the mo having recently outed myself to my wife so my cross dressing is strictly for my eyes only - make-up & leg shaving have still to be tried out but, if the time comes when I'm confident in my alter ego then it will be all out to look as good as I can. For now though, it's another quiet night in wearing blue topped hold - ups, my recently acquired first pair of heels, a blonde wig my wife bought me yesterday & a gorgeous blue flowery & floaty knee length dress which I bought on Saturday for £4.99 at a charity shop. Well, every girl loves a fashion bargain!

[Jennifer-GWN]

I dress to pass / blend. But I'm not a jeans or sweat pants kinda girl. Hair styled, makeup (I'm getting there). Fully aware that I will stand out if noticed.

[Nikki A.]

Whether I pass or not is irrelevant to me. But when I do dress I try to present as a female as possible.

[Kate Simmons]

When I go out, I dress to look like a woman. Whether I do or not is up to the perceptions of those I meet.:battingeyelashes::)

[shawna0289]

I would love to be able to pass but not having a wig or any makeup skills

[susan54]

I dress primarily for myself. It is important to me to get the clothes and accessories exactly right even if I am alone in the house. However I only wear make up and a wig to go out in public. I then act as a woman - fortunately I seem to be able to do the walk, so that I blend in even when very well dressed. On the other hand I only interact with women who already know I am a man, so it is not really passing. There have been occasions when strangers (women) I have been interacting with have assumed I am a woman which gives me a bit of a kick, but generally I am happy for people to know I am a man - what I enjoy is when they say I still look fantastic. So the idea is to look good in women;s clothes and act well as a women, but not to fool people that I AM a woman. I am on stage. I am a gender tourist.

[Bria]

I dress to pass, but as other have said whether I succeed or not, that is the question!

Hugs, Bria

[Debra Russell]

most certainly to pass / blend .... don't need a pitch fork party:eek:................................Debra

[Cheryl T]

I dress for me, but I do try to be the best woman I can when I go out. Whether or not I pass is no longer an issue for me. At first it was, but now I know that most will not see me as such so I just want to blend in and express my femininity as best I can. It's more important for me to be me and be accepted as such than to "pass".

[Wildaboutheels]

No, I don't dress to pass as a female at all, or blend in any way, shape or form but I ALWAYS "pass".

As just a Human.

By treating people right. Nor do I live in any special "accepting" city.

Needing to "present" as a female to "pass" [for a man dressed wrong] is just another Forum Myth.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Megan, I don't go out but I dress to look the absolutely best that I can.

[Jill_cd]

Megan,
I dress to pass, but in reality, all I can do is 'blend': a little over 6 ft. in moderate heels, conservative skirt and blouse, wig and makeup. When I walk out the front door, it's the whole nine yards, dressed to the nines.

Jill

[Sometimes Steffi]

I try hard to look an drss like a woman, but I don't fool myself. I don't pass, but I'm aiming for plausible deniability.

I would never go out in a skirt without forms, makeup and a wig.

[julie marie1]

I do dress to pass and to enjoy myself. I don't believe that I would hold up under close inspection, but I do try. No one who knows me as my male self would ever imagine my female side, but I feel if I am going to crossdress, I should make my best effort.
julie marie

[Stephanie Lynne]

I dress to pass with hopes of at least blending. I'm generally read, but only expect to be treated respectfully in the gender I'm presenting.

[MissVictoria]

If im going to a bar or out for the evening, then yes, I will add the makeup and wig and finer details. If im running errands, I forego all the accouterments and just get dressed in my girl clothes. It is not unusual for me to wear a dress, high heels with painted toes, and really feminine earrings, all with no wig or makeup. Cleanly shaven of course, but no effort to look like a lady. I dress because I like the clothing choices better. Id just rather not deal with makeup or setting the wig just right. I will sometimes wear my forms, because they make some outfits look better. No fire and brimstone yet. Just odd stares and a learning opportunity.

[CherylFlint]

I ALWAYS dress to pass, and if it doesn't "feel" right, I don't go out.

[carahawkwind]

When I dress I want to look a good as possible and I think to do that I want to pass as much as I can, even though I don't I really do.

[lingerieLiz]

Really depends what you like. When young I dressed to pass and was very successful. Over time I transitioned to a guy who wears women's clothes. I maintain my male appearance but wear silk blouses, gg jeans and shoes most of the time. Shorts in summer etc. A casual glance most people see a guy. Close up and really paying attention or studying what I'm wearing one sees a guy wearing gg clothes and bra lines. Ninety percent see the guy and the rest don't care once idle curiosity is answered.

[AletaHawk]

I've never gone out fully dressed, and don't plan to unless I'm able to at least appear to pass. For me, it's more about not wanting to go out and share this side of me with the public until I'm at my best. That probably won't be for quite some time.

[BillieAnneJean]

I dress as well as I possibly can for my own satisfaction. I wear appropriate outfits for the time of day and the venue. In that way I insure that I fit in and pass.
I put a lot of effort in to my presentation because I look better (and dogs don't howl) and it causes a little bit more doubt in their minds. After 5-7.6 seconds they lose interest and go back to texting anyway.
If I dressed purely for myself I would be wearing a ball gown every time I am OUT enfemme.
This is Such Fun!

[sometimes_miss]

Passing is very hard (99% probably won't, no matter what we'd like to believe), and 'blending' is basically just trying not to draw any attention to yourself, however keep in mind, that no matter what you try to do, unless you actually can pass, you WILL draw attention to yourself just by being in clothing that oh, 98% of the world believes to be inappropriate. Whether we feel it's appropriate or not is not the issue.
Basically, just try to avoid intentionally getting in anyone's face, and keep yourself in safe situations; don't assume that your right to safe passage means there won't be some intoxicated nut out there determined to prove that he's tougher than 'the fairy in the dress' to everyone around him.
Stay safe.

[Amanda M]

I dress to blend. Would not want to embarass my wife, or anyone else!

[Marcelle]

Hi Megan,

On those occasions when I present as Isha I identify as female and hence dress to approximate a woman. I can blend given my size and body frame but I never pass (too many guy traits and tells). However I accept that and just enjoy being.

Hugs

Isha

[Kimkandy]

I dress to try and pass not sure if my liking for knee high boots helps or hinders this

[Jillian Faith]

Absolutely dress to pass, which to me is dressing as most GGs would dress for the time of day and the venue. I know I'll never pass 100% of the time but most people are too into their own lives to notice most of the time.

[Secret Drawer]

I have to agree with Wildaboutheels (for once!) on this one. Others have said as much, there is nothing explicitly or inplicitly shocking about a man wearing womens clothing when done in an non intrusive fashion. Shaved legs, appropriate "bulge" control, etc.
It comes down to where your individual CDing "level" of comfort is. I feel rather disingenuous when I do the wig and makeup thing, as if I am lying to myself, thus I don't do that much. I also feel natural and at peace when wearing femme attire, and it is not up to me to make anyone else in the world feel... well, anything really? Who am I to try and control others? It is like Wild said, If you treat people with respect, (including yourself!) then you should expect the same back, if they choose to disrespect or try to make fun of you, then it is they who have the problem, not you.
I have been questioned about this on this site before, asked "But I just don't understand?" So I will ask you the same question: Why do you feel the need to go all the way? We need to embrace our differences in order to accept ourselves. How can we accept the ones that "really pass," and not the ones who are just trying to be themselves in the world? [And the answer isn't "Well, at least they (we) try!, because my not wearing a wig and makeup does not mean I am not "trying" anything, it is as far as I wanted to go with it!

[Krisi]

I don't understand why a guy would go out in public wearing female clothes but without the wig or long hair and without shaving and enough makeup to cover his beard shadow. While people might not shout out "freak!", you know what they are thinking. And of course if anyone you know sees you, your "secret" is out.

So - On the few occasions where I have gone out in public, I have done my best to appear as a genetic female. I take photos and I can see my progress over the years. Do I "pass"? Not up close and personal, but I probably pass or blend to someone walking or driving past me.

I think dressing appropriately is a big part of this.

[CarlaWestin]

No offense intended but, when I go out dressed it's never with the primary intention of passing as a female. I dress to feel good and the excitement of doing it. Now, don't get me wrong. I wouldn't do extremely buxom to go have my car worked on but, I do go out and about with an obvious feminine profile for shopping or just strolling around. Dressing appropriately? Sounds like something my wife would say while wearing jeans and a t-shirt.

[Henriette7]

Hi Megan

I absolutely dress to pass with all the small details that includes. Do I pass ?, I'am not sure, but I know that it is close, but I have a wonderful time each time. :-)

Great hugs
Henriette

[Kristyn Hill]

I dress to pass for sure. If not, where is the fun?

[arial]

No way I would ever pass, but as I keep my alter-ego indoors there is really no need to do so.
I always try to maintain a proper appearance nonetheless. Appropriate hair, makeup, and wardrobe selection are important to the whole process I believe.

Can never forget when once in The Haight (San Francisco) I was walking behind someone wearing a rather nice outfit (shirtwaist dress, heels); very well tailored look.
As that person stopped to look into a window, I walked past. It was at that time I noticed that the same person had a rather large but nicely trimmed beard. Just didn't fit with the big picture.

[Lexi Moralas]

I always dress to pass as best I can. I usually do well untill I have to speak. Lol
But all my life I have been mistaken for a girl in guy mode so I guess I have that in my favor. But the type of GG girl I femulate tends to draw attention anyway.
You know the 40 somthing that is divorced or still single and dressed like the 20 something ( but can pull it off).
So I dress to pass but for me as well. I am sure I would blend better at the mall in flats rather than booties with a 2" platform and 6" heel but hey I love my heels lol. So I guess for me it's a balance.
I think I am just lucky to me short and skinny which I think gos along way for me. And mind you I haven't gotten out in a real long time. But a couple years back I was out in public once or twice a week.
Early on I know I didn't pass , but at the end I rarely got read unless I had to speak with someone for more than a sentence or 2. I started wearing a fake wedding ring to give me an out because apparently the type of woman I portray tends to attract divorced men in there 40's and fiftys. So the ring would deter them from trying to chat me up.
But I have gotten off track. Short answer
I want to pass but my first thought is I have to wear what I like. Other wise what's the point.
Although it's been a long time it looks like a May get a couple of days that I can dress and go out over the winter. And I am really looking forward to it!
But I will need all new make up , I assume mine has gone bad by now.
Xx lexi

[Lexi Moralas]

Ps . Thanks for letting me rant girls !

[Juanita O]

we are all discussing in this thread about passing or not, i have seen women in all shapes and sizes, and there are alot of gg' that don't pass very well either, so i guess the question i have is why are we concerned about passing or not is it that we don't have enough confidence in our selfs(i know i don't) to pass very well( to tall and built like a lineman on a foot ball team). No matter if we pass or not if we love to dress as women than just go for it.

[Jennifer W]

I guess I'm the odd one here. I wear female jeans and T's and have a mustache. I've been in public wearing yoga pants and a t shirt with no wig or makeup. I'm very obviously a guy in girls clothes. Do I care what anyone thinks? Maybe in the back of my mind but I just want to be me. And comfortable with whatever I wear. I'm in a DADT relationship so I have to be careful when my wife and kids are around. Other than that, I'm going to be me.

[Beverley Sims]

I used to pass well once, but conducting myself with decorum I still seem to get by today.

No I really don't pass well these days without a lot of work.

[Jodi]

I dress to be presentable as a female. None of us pass.

Jodi

[Jamie Christopher]

If I'm going out I always dress to pass, and it does take sometime, full makeup, jewelry, wig, etc. and I do get some pretty good results. I dress classy but low key, and try to blend in. I'll never get away with it completely, but rarely have any issues either.

Jamie

[Megan b]

I dress to pass and blend. I usually feel pretty good about my presentation although I know I get read sometimes but I still enjoy myself and interacting with others.

[Nadine Spirit]

You know it really depends.

There are times I dress fully as fem as possible. Clothes, wig, makeup, the whole kit and kaboodle.

But other times, I dress in fem clothes, but present as a male. Am I trying to pass? As what? A guy in fem clothes? Well I do that just fine.

What do I never do? Dress for shock value.


I don't understand why a guy would go out in public wearing female clothes but without the wig or long hair and without shaving and enough makeup to cover his beard shadow. While people might not shout out "freak!", you know what they are thinking. And of course if anyone you know sees you, your "secret" is out.

#1 - I don't give a rat's ass what others are going to think about me. Apparently the vast majority of the population doesn't care what I think about their choices in appearances and why should they?

#2 - Maybe I don't have a problem with being in between genders and showing that to the world. I am not afraid that people are going to pitchfork me if they don't think I am a GG. I wear what I want to wear, not for others, but for me.

#3 - Oh no! Not my super special secret! Please no! Maybe it is time we stop hiding folks? Why do so many of us feel such shame that we can't let anyone know? You do know that does not help others to begin to know we are normal people.

[NicoleScott]

I dress to get approval from the guy looking into the mirror.

[Tracy Hazel Lee]

While I always do my best to achieve the most feminine presentation I can manage, I go out with the full awareness that I am not female. I don't care if people read me, or don't call me 'miss'. Passing to me, means nobody was aggressive and/or violent. That's all I expect.

[dallasmann]

I go many ways. I sometimes like to try to pass. Other times, I'm hoping I DON'T pass.

[Nao]

I don't think I would go outside until i am 100% sure I'm passable. I guess I just care too much about what people think or something, its a harsh world sometimes.

[jaerina96]

I guess it depends on how you define "pass!" I usually dress to try and blend in and avoid drawing attention to myself, pretty much the same as I do in "boy mode" just switched to female styles. There is, of course, a big exception to this if I go out to a bar or club, then I usually go to extra lengths to make myself as feminine as possible and try to glam it up as much as I can without crossing into drag queen territory... Especially if I'm in a mood and am going for a sexy look. The rest of the time I just focus on being comfortable but still somewhat pretty.

[Mellisastocking996]

I dress to pass, I study current local fashion styles and try to emulate them according to my age. I must say that some women where I am don't look so feminine, so should I get clocked, then I feel that I ca get away with it so to speak. Carrying myself femininely and feeling a woman in my mindset certainly helps too .

[Dana does shopping]

Just got back from shopping & I must echo many of the sentiments expressed throughout this thread. as long as I am treated with the respect I project to my 'borrowed' gender whilst out .. all is good. It is the odd knob that one has to always be in consideration of ... that & the environs you venture into!

[suchacutie]

The fact is that Tina is incredibly hard on herself as far as the reality of her femininity. If there is a hair out of place, or a vocal intonation that sounds at all like a male, or a body movement that says "male", or if she's not chatty enough, of if she is dressed inappropriately, Tina is real unhappy. Furthermore, my wife if very open about telling Tina just what works and what doesn't. In the main, Tina dresses for Tina with the idea that she is a much harder critic than anyone around her might be.

[Jilmac]

I dress to blend in, so for me that's passing. I have been to events where the crowd is very eclectic and have been complimented on my feminine appearance by total strangers, and addressed as ma'am. So when all is said and done I have passed.

[Stephanie Julianna]

I always dress to pass. My day is perfect when I am "M'amed" by anyone while out shopping or lunching.

[Lexi_83]

Dress conservatively to pass unless I'm going to a party or club.

[Stephanie47]

I'm six foot even. I weigh 190 +/- pounds. I know I will probably not pass as a woman under close scrutiny, especially at a close distance. I always do my best to look as womanly as possible. I always wear a dress that is age appropriate. That entails wearing a shoulder length grey wig since my hair has seen the passing of time. There was a time when I did not have a wig. Without the wig I looked like a guy in a dress. It only seems natural to try to obscure the fact you are a male when wearing a dress, hosiery and high heels, let alone trying to explain to someone why you are wearing a bra when you do not have boobs.

[Martha G]

Being into costume, I become the character I dress as.

When dressed as a woman I become a woman and want to have all of the proper mannerisms as well. I do make a passable women when dressed

But once the clothing is off I am just a regular guy with no feminine gestures or mannerisms.

[robyn_cd]

Dress to pass, the more I go out as Robyn the more confident I become. That makes it a little easier each time.

[Judith96a]

While I always do my best to achieve the most feminine presentation I can manage, I go out with the full awareness that I am not female. I don't care if people read me, or don't call me 'miss'. Passing to me, means nobody was aggressive and/or violent. That's all I expect.

I like Tracy's "working definition" of "passing". For me "passing" consists of confusing people into thinking that I might be a woman for just long enough that I cease to be of any interest to them! So, in that sense, I DO dress to (try to) pass!

Mind you I've no illusions about anyone who either hears me speak or gets a good look, from 10yds or less, being fooled!

[Sarah Doepner]

Do athletes train and practice to win the Bronze or Silver medal? They are all trying for the Gold! Do they all win the gold, or any other medal? No, but if you train to come in anyplace but first, why train or practice? I know this isn't the world of competative crossdressing, but I try to set my standards as high as possible and do my best to achieve that level. Do I get there? Never have, probably never will, but I'm not going to go out in a public setting if I'm not comfortable with what I've accomplished. If I do my best and try for the Gold, my attitude is much better and it's going to be a much more enjoyable time regardless of how I am received by the Romanian Judge "She's terrible, I give her a 2".

[raelene]

I dress because I like to dress enfemme and could care less if I don't pass, just love to wear all things femme.

[Adriana Moretti]

There are some great answers here...my favorite being none of us pass...which is very true....or...none of us pass ALL the time is a good way to put it ...so with that in mind does it really matter ? All you can do is be the best YOU..

[swimming_sophie]

I may be alone, but I don't really try to pass, I just want to add some clothes ftom the other sider of the store to my guy's everyday wardrobe.
Leggings and a knee length skirt are so much more comfortable than jeans. No fabric biting in at the knee or hip while sitting for a longer time.

[michelleddg]

Oh yeah, I dress to pass. I venture out not more than a few times per year but, when I do, I prepare meticulously and to the best of my ability. No half measures for this girl!

Now, do I succeed? Who knows! I'm happy to assume I've succeeded if I get no rude remarks and don't care if I'm being delusional. On the plus side I've been working on my craft a loooong time. On the minus side I'm 5' 12" tall and lean a bit too heavily towards the June Cleaver end of the spectrum. I've gotten tons of "ma'am's" in my day, but then there was the sassy chick who walked up to me on Freemont Street in Las Vegas singing "Dude Looks Like a Lady".

Hugs, Michelle

[Vanessa5]

I dress to blend more than pass. Not very good at makeup and sometimes my wigs have a mind of their own! But really I just enjoy dressing and all the details that go with it.

[Savannah_Skye]

I dress to pass but if people looked closely enough they could tell. I really don't go out much and usually stay in the car. I usually forget to cover up the Adam's apple but oh well.

[jennyloveschange]

For me it's got to be dress to pass. Although I haven't ventured out yet it's all been for practice to pass

[Mia27]

I havent been out in public yet, but i wish to someday!!:) But when i dress, i want to pass as much as possible, its so much more fulfilling:) even if i am just doing it in private haha

[ShelbyDawn]

This really depends on where I am going. I mostly under dress. The few times I have dressed to go out, I have done my best but don't honestly think I came even close to passing.
If I could actually pass, I would definitively make that a goal when I got dressed. As it is, I just do the best I can to feel feminine.


PS... interesting that i initially misspelled definitively and one of the correction options was effeminately... Just one of those things that make you go hmmmmm... :)

[GinaD]

Megan, I have always dressed to pass as a girl. The whole point of this for me is that I want to be as feminine as possible. I now live every day as feminine as possible.

[DebbieL]

Public and private, I'm always happiest when I feel like I look like a girl / woman.

In public, I have learned that the best way to "pass" is to "blend". I've learned to dress appropriate to my age, size, and situation.
I don't wear a miniskirt and heels to the mall, and I don't wear a low cut blouse to church.

When I want to blend, I need to look better than half the women and not as good as the other half.
If I look too good, I become the target of extra scrutiny - women look for flaws in a rival, men look for ways to enhance their fantasies - both ways the attention can get me read.
If I get too sloppy, I seem boyish - then they realize I'm not as much of a girl as they thought.

For a costume party, like Halloween, I'll be like the other girls, and dress as campy and sexy as anyone.

At home, at the end of the day, I might take the wig off while I'm relaxing in front of the TV or computer.

[Ally 2112]

Even thou i am in the closet i still try to dress to pass it is just who i am .Love looking like a girl !

[Sarah Welch]

I don't own ANY drab clothes any longer, everything I have is from her side of the store. When feeling lazy...just minimal makeup and casual clothes, but when I am feeling it, I take the extra time to really fem it up and just roll. People around here are used to it I guess cause I have had no negative incidents..to my face at least. I always get compliments from other women on my nails or hair and even get ma'amed most of the time. Like the last time at Dillards checkout, buying hose, another lady rushed up to ask something but the SA said, I will be right with you as soon as I am finished with her, which made my day.

[Janine cd]

I agree with Nikki. Whenever I dress it is to present myself as a woman, whether I can pass or not.

[caitlynmarie]

I dress to blend in. I am comfortable wearing makeup, wig, painted nails, ladies slacks and blouse, heels. Once I finally started going out and feeling comfortable regardless of what people may think I find more courage to go to another level of dressing.