to be or not to be

[paula1911]

Lately, I have gone back and forth on dressing. I enjoy my man side very much, but when I had time on my hands, my feminine side ultimately would come out, but only then. Seems like lately, I make time for it at the end of the day, regardless of whether I previously would have thought I had time for it. Wondering if, in your experience, that is a normal progression. I suspect it is, but I struggle with this change.

[Kate Simmons]

What we are inclined to do with our time is a pretty good indicator of who we are. :)

[RADER]

Paula:
Welcome to the forum, glad you found us.
Yes, I agree with you; I have been a "Male" for over 67 years, and I do
kind of liken it. However, when ever I have some free time to my self;
Well on goes a bra and the rest of the wardrobe as necessary to become
a lady for some relaxing time. Even to just do the house work.
One must be dressed for the work your are doing.
Rader

[Seana Summer]

Nothing wrong with enjoying being a man. Nothing wrong with letting a fem side out either. I enjoy dressing up when I can and I don't always want to even if I have time on my hands....Sounds normal to me.

[Rachelakld]

Ditto.
Last weekend up a large tree with a chainsaw - didn't want it to end.
Cleaned up, showered and put on pretty clothes to relax in.

Sunday morning - booked some relaxing girl time for Brunch at a local coffee shop with anther like minded girl.

It's how CDers.... RELAX (probably good for our hearts, good for our mental wellbeing, and often good for our partners & family)

[ginger56]

I enjoy being the man,espiecially when I'm doing guy things like working on cars or building something.those are the times I enjoy it,but I still like my time as ginger when ever I get the time to do so.lately there hasn't been much time for and it looks like it get to be even less.

[Madilyn A.]

seems to be part of our crossdressers genetic code. Free time equals dressing time. This has been true for me since I was a wee lad.

[Dana L]

I try to get "Dana time" when I can. I always go to bed as Dana. When I wake up she's the first thing I see in the mirror. Then it's time to go back to guy mode and be the man that has to do what a man dose to support a family. Someday maybe Dana can stay forever.

[ReineD]

I think you'll find that it is cyclical. If you push it as far as you feel you need to now, you'll eventually reach a threshold where whatever level you will reach will become commonplace and therefore not as new and exciting. This is when it will scale back again. I've observed among the CDers I know, that for some people the cycles takes place over years (they push it ahead by very small increments), while for others it is seasonal.

I have a friend whose husband came out to her in the 1990s. She was supportive, the kids knew, he was out to their friends and church group (it is a progressive church). He went through many cycles of having great urges to dress and at one point believing himself to be TS, to scaling back, then starting up again, changing names, each time changing dressing styles and personas, then scaling back, being hugely involved with TG support groups and outreach, then not, etc. This went on for about 20 years and now he has not dressed in about five years. His choice, not hers.

[Terri Semes]

I ride a macho/fem rollercoaster almost everyday .
Just thinking about dressing is an escape for me from my normal manly job and life. Really hope to find a balance within myself and become comfortable with being me .

[Beverley Sims]

Paula,
If you are making time for it, you still have plenty of time on your hands.
It takes a family commitment or serious malfunction in your life to force a hiatus in dressing.
Babies and other family events do take precedence.

I think they should, you can always come back when everyone calms down.

[Marcelle]

Hi Paula,

I can only speak to my own experience so here it goes. When I first came out (last year) I assumed like many it was just about dressing and I did so in private (was never going to see the day of light). Then one day I ventured out to the Vanilla world because I needed to. That was just a Ninja Femme drive or two, followed by a drive through, a trip to a store, then a mall and so on now to the point where I am quite comfortable out in the day even on a public bus packed during rush hour. But these are what I term Isha days and for the most part I stay in "boy mode". However as I progress in my comfort level there is more bleed over into my private and public life (e.g., I have presented at work). However, I am reaching a saturation point and appear to have levelled off at 60% male and 40% female which is up from my earlier 80%/20% mix. For me this is the point of coexistence between my two identities.

I am not saying you will go that far but the progression you talk about IMHO is normal as you try to figure out your comfort level.

Hugs

Isha

[Lillyasia]

Different people do different activities with their spare time. Ours just happens to be crossdressing.