Your image of what you'd look like

[Aubrey Skye]

So over the past few days I've been trying the imagine what I'd like to look like as a woman. But I know that image will never exist. Honestly I'm kind of scared on how I'll turn out looking. Did any of you face that? Maybe I'm still just not accepting the fact I'm a woman and not a man, finding excuses to not transition... Life is hard..

[whowhatwhen]

Don't let that be a reason, you can be pleasantly surprised.
If you take a peek at some timelines you can be amazed at just how much is possible, I mean HRT is definitely YMMV but when it hits it really hits.

[arbon]

I thought I would look terrible and ridiculous, but even without ffs surgeries I don't look to awfully bad now (nothing like I wish though).

I have seen some pretty incredible physical transformations, you might be surprised.

[I Am Paula]

I've often been surprised at what can happen. The most remarkable transformations against seemingly impossible odds. A women's female aura comes out during transition, and eventually, we see that, and the physical just fades away.
We all face doubts about whether we truly are TS. If you're finding excuses not to transition, maybe transition is not right for you. You may need to deal with this some more in therapy, and continue the soul searching until the answer is absolutely clear.

[Jorja]

The image I had and the image that appeared were nothing alike. Then add in FFS to refine it all and I look nothing like I thought I would. Some have even told me I'm cute. I asked what they were drinking :). You might be surprised but you will never know unless you try.

[Angela Campbell]

It is going to be a surprise. Decide what you want to change, figure out how to do that, and then you will change into a new girl. It takes time, money, hard work and a lot of pain, but it is worth it.

[Donna Joanne]

I'm fortunate to have always looked just like mom "in the face". In fact this past Mother's Day while looking at photos my wife made the comment about just "how much you look like your mother". At that point, only having been on HRT for 4 months, I doubt any appreciable facial changes had taken place at that point. Now my main task is to make the body match the head. But I'm working on that! Photos below are my mom who is 75 this year and me.
233521233522

[PretzelGirl]

I like Paula's comment on aura. Some of our changing of appearance will be driven by the inside and how we display it from those feelings. Of course some is from hormones and surgery, for those that get it.

I have actually had a few discussions this week about it and how I still see the guy when I try and compare myself to my final guy look. It is a common thing for us not to see it all, at least not right away. Sometimes that is what drives the need for FFS, so that we can adjust our mind and see the inside come out (among a myriad of other possible reasons). Let it flow and eventually you will look in the mirror and have that moment where you go a little flush and just go "Wow!". I have had those too, so I can probably relate as someone on the path to that full acceptance of my look. Have faith!

[Rachel Smith]

This is the one picture that when I look at it I don't see any of the male me at all.233557

[Leah Lynn]

I know there's not enough surgery out there to make me what I'd like, but I no longer look like my driver's license photo. And my younger sister said I'm pretty...

At my age, I may do a facelift, but I'll probably skip FFS.

Leah

[Michelle789]

You can never tell for sure. However, although HRT results are YMMV, I honestly think the cards are stacked in your favor for a good result. You're young, and the younger you are the better results you will get, on average. Also, I would eat healthy, exercise, and very importantly, don't drink, don't smoke, don't do drugs. If you're completely free of all recreational drugs you will get the best result. Cigarettes, alcohol, and drugs can definitely interfere with the hormones and cause a poor result, not to mention the risk of negative side effects. Don't even chew tobacco, and don't even smoke electronic cigarettes.

After two months on hormones, everyone else around me, and I too, see a huge difference. My face is looking softer and more feminine now than it did two months ago.

I think genetics, age, and lifestyle will all contribute towards a better result. You have age on your side. You can choose to maintain a good lifestyle - though in some situations a little intervention is required as in my case. You have no control over genetics.

As for you finding excuses not to transition, I've been there, and most of us have too. It can be very difficult to accept being trans and having to transition.

Edit: A number of things will help with our appearance

- hormones
- electrolysis or laser hair removal
- makeup to cover the beard until the beard is gone
- shaving or waxing or epilating the body hair from below the neck
- wearing a wig
- breast forms until you start seeing breast growth

[Aubrey Skye]

I think I'm just scared. And the fact that I have to literally lose everything in my life to do this. But yeah I don't drink, smoke, or do any type of drug, so no problems there. I'm starting to work out again now because I'm definitely overweight, even as a guy. I have a lot of work to do, work I wasn't wiling to do as a guy, but now starting to accept I'm a girl, I'm ready to do it.

[Michelle.M]

So over the past few days I've been trying the imagine what I'd like to look like as a woman. But I know that image will never exist. Honestly I'm kind of scared on how I'll turn out looking.

Let me just throw out some random thoughts -

1. Who cares what you'll end up looking like? If you're really TS then it's about your gender dissonance, not about what you'll look like. This ain't no beauty contest.

2. That said, I recognize that looking too masculine can present problems with passing and quality of life, so hopefully you can find some balance.

3. If you're really that curious, why don't you go to one of these transformation services that CDs sometimes use?

4. Genetic women also have present and continuing self-image issues. It's not just a trans thing.

5. Genetic women (some of them, at least) also wonder what they'll end up looking like in the future due to aging and any number of life events that can have an effect on their looks. I don't think it's all that unusual.

6. If you're just finding excuses not to transition then that's great! That, to me, is a pretty clear sign that you shouldn't do it.

[Aubrey Skye]

Well i guess I wouldn't necessarily say I'm finding excuses, more like just worrying about things and being scared of what could come of it. That's natural though right? I mean we all face that right?

[whowhatwhen]

3. If you're really that curious, why don't you go to one of these transformation services that CDs sometimes use?


Oooooh! This!
I look much different now after 5.2 months of HRT than I did for my transformation photos but at the time it provided much needed information.
Despite the heavy makeup I was able to look in a mirror and see myself, there was no man there and that feeling alone was worth the price.

[MarieTS]

If you are truly ts you will FEEL better, and thats what matters. I know I look better than I did as a male, and that just adds to my conviction I am doing the right thing. But the bottom line is you have to be who you ARE and accept the consequences appearance wise. Over time you will look better :daydreaming:

[arbon]

more like just worrying about things and being scared of what could come of it. That's natural though right? I mean we all face that right?

I was afraid of a lot of things - how I would look, loosing family and friends, money, my job, being an outcast or thought of as a freak. Its a huge risk to take.

Some of those things I did lose. Some I didn't.

It can be hard. I had a few really bad years. But worth it because I feel better about myself (it does not sound like much, but it is a lot)

It does not mean it will be hard for you. Some people breeze through transition without many difficulties. For some life gets very ugly. Depends a lot on you, and luck I guess.

[Kali]

It might sound contradictory, but while I am not happy with the way I look, I am happier looking like I do now.


This was an issue that ate at me for years before I decided I needed to put my happiness first for a change.

[Dianne S]

I think I have a pretty good idea by now what I'll look like. I've become reasonably adept at picking clothes that are good for me and doing my makeup. Laser is proceeding slowly but surely and with the reduction in facial hair, my confidence is growing.

The one thing I want to change is my hair. I don't use a wig because I've grown out my hair, but I need to use hair extensions in the front to cover a little male-pattern baldness. I want to get a feminine haircut with bangs that will soften my face, but I haven't done that yet because I still usually present as male. I've experiment with fake bangs, but still don't have a really good idea what I'll look like.

[DebbieL]

So over the past few days I've been trying the imagine what I'd like to look like as a woman.
Welcome to the world of girls. Every girl wonders what she will look like when she grows up. Will she be pretty? Will she be beautiful? Will she at least be cute?
We, and little girls start to wonder about this about the same time we find out about our first Disney princess.

And when things don't go quite the way we hoped, we try to make our bodies closer fit the image of who we want to be.
Why do you think make-up, diets and fashion are $trillion industry?

Guys generally don't worry about how they LOOK, they worry about whether they are strong enough or smart enough to compete with the other boys/men.
In fact, if men's fashions are designed to make them look as similar as possible. Shirts are loose and baggy, pants are loose and baggy and high waisted.
In terms of changing appearance, a man's options are to shave, or not. Jewelry is usually limited to a watch and wedding band.


But I know that image will never exist. Honestly I'm kind of scared on how I'll turn out looking.

It doesn't exist for GGs either. Part of growing up is accepting that nobody looks like Barbie, and nobody looks like the fashion models in the magazines (including the models).
I love America's Next Top Model because you get to see what these fashion models look like throughout most of the week, and what they look like for the few minutes of their shoot.
And Project Runway lets you see how fashions are literally "sewn on" at the last minute to get that "fantasy fit" that can never happen in reality.


Did any of you face that?

I'd be surprised if they didn't. But as I said, this is normal for ANY girl including a girl trapped in a boy's body.
Part of what we have to do is "Grow Up". Lee had to practically drag me through "Transition Puberty".
I had this fantasy of what I wanted to look like - young, shapely, sexy. I wore skirts that were short, blouses that were too tight, heels that were too high, and wigs that were too curly and long.
Lee told me she would help me be completely comfortable as a woman, but I had to agree to let her throw out any clothes she didn't like, and she got to pick out all my new clothes, as well as my wig and my make-up.

The hardest part of throwing out all my "Juniors ****-ware" was the fond memories of a time years earlier, when I was much thinner, and much younger and could almost pass as a 20 year old girl.
Ultimately, about 95% of it had to go. Even most of my old boy clothes from that era had to go. My closets were so empty it was spooky.

Then Lee took me to Lane Bryant, Avenue, and Catherine's. These are shops that offer high end fashion for plus size women.
I struggled with the longer skirts, looser blouses, and pants that I could (and did) wear as Rex. Still, after spending about $500 on a few carefully selected items that could be worn mix-and-match, Lee took me out to dinner as Debbie. No problems and no giggling from anyone in the restaurant.

When I went to the mall and passed through a group of 20 teen-age girls, and not one of them read me as anything other than an older woman, I realized Lee was right.

I was on the plane last night, and after talking to the two women next to me for over an hour and a half, we started showing pictures of your kids and my grandkids. I decided to show a picture from my wedding. I pointed to my son, my daughter, my wife, and my step-daughter, and one of the women pointed to the guy with the ghoti beard and said "who is that? Your father?".

When I told them that was me about 8 years ago, the one girl could not believe it. She thought I was putting her on. She noticed I was tall, but other than that, she saw me as a woman and nothing else. Of course then she had all sorts of questions and both were fascinated. When we got off the plane, they both looked at me in the bright light and said "Are you sure you're not putting us on?".

I don't have to be the most beautiful woman in the room. If I look better than about half, that's pretty good. If half look better than me, then I won't be stared at by men who are having fantasies that could be shattered if they looked too closely, and my women who saw me as a rival and were looking for some kind of flaw - and then finding a BIG one. Instead, I'm just not that interesting.

But when I do that, I'm completely free to be me. In fact, I couldn't pass as a guy if I wanted to, and even when I spend extended time interacting with someone, they often only see me as what I am, a nice sweet lady in her mid forties (actually I'm in my late 50s so I'm happy with that).



Maybe I'm still just not accepting the fact I'm a woman and not a man, finding excuses to not transition... Life is hard..

[Rianna Humble]

Welcome to the world of girls. Every girl wonders what she will look like when she grows up.

xZbKHDPPrrc

[Frances]

I look a lot like my mother.

[whowhatwhen]

I figure if you go in expecting that you won't pass then all you can be is either right or pleasantly surprised.
:)

[Frances]

That's true. Low-expectations is key. Most people turn out better than they envisioned, but few look like they fantasized.