Not If but WHEN

[Wildaboutheels]

Go out enough times [dressed] to enough places [during the daylight] and IT will catch up to you, sooner or later.

THEM. It has been my experience, ONLY when there is a small gaggle or flock of them. At least 2 together.

Teenage girls.

How many have experienced it and are reading this? You ARE still alive obviously, which is the only thing that matters.

Right?

Or did it put you back in the closet for days, weeks, months or years?

Today, more than ever, they are likely to be on their silly "dumb" phones even while shopping.

Will you be ready and have a plan for the inevitable?

[jessica2009]

I think your right. I would love to be "ready" but still getting over the small things that make it hard to do more often; outed! thanks for the post!

[Kate Simmons]

I don't care what others think, especially a bunch of giggly girls. Hey, if I made their day by giving them something to laugh about, so be it. :):battingeyelashes:

[Zylia]

No, being alive is not the only thing that matters. Whatever you may think of Maslow's hierarchy of needs, being physically alive is only the bottom layer and respect by others is part of a much higher level. Call me shallow, but giggling girls (and people in general) have gotten me back in my closet quite a few times.

[Megan Thomas]

It has only happened to me once, as I approached a shop doorway and 2 teenage girls in school uniform were adjacent to the door. I got to about 2-3 feet away and one whispered to the other "that's a man?" in a questioning tone. I just smiled as I went through the door, responding I also had very good hearing. I got a smile back and that was that.

Did it stop me going out again for a time? No way, you just carry on regardless. It's not often I get made anyway, so why worry about a blip from an audience renowned for their prowess in spotting trans people.

[JayeLefaye]

Teenage girls with camera ready I-phones....Scary:-) The next thing you know, you show up on their Facebook page, or "The Things You See at Walmart" site(Cd's aren't the only ones who know what a CD magnet Walmart is)

But in drab mode, I'm an old dude, bald on top with hair down to my butt, and the teenage girls will give "that" look an "Ewe" too:-)

I'm not particularly proud of what I'm about to say, but if I ever sense snarkiness from the young uns', and feel the need to comfort myself, I simply wonder, in 10 years, what percentage of them will be living in a single-wide with 3 kids from a "bad-boy" boyfriend, while in 10 years, if I'm not dead, well, I will have just had another 10 years of the best time of my life...

Kids these days:-)

Jaye


Edited to add my response to Megan without double-posting:-)


It has only happened to me once, as I approached a shop doorway and 2 teenage girls in school uniform were adjacent to the door. I got to about 2-3 feet away and one whispered to the other "that's a man?" in a questioning tone. I just smiled as I went through the door, responding I also had very good hearing. I got a smile back and that was that.

Did it stop me going out again for a time? No way, you just carry on regardless. It's not often I get made anyway, so why worry about a blip from an audience renowned for their prowess in spotting trans people.

I'd've been tempted to respond "Yes I am a man, and I have an outfit just like yours at home in my closet.", and let 'em chew on that for a while:-)

Jaye

[DebbieL]

I used to hate when I would do my very best to try and be as pretty and beautiful as I could, then go out somewhere only to have a group of teen-age girls start looking at me, staring, then one after another going "yes, he is", then "Oh My GAWD!" then "Oh god it's a GUY!". Then "HE'S SO GEORGEOUS".

At first it just made me leave immediately. I would often see during these outbursts that others were now aware as well. I'd see guys glaring, mothers telling their children not to look. Sometimes someone would start marching up to me, about to make a scene. I couldn't get out of there fast enough.

Later, I gained confidence. As soon as one of them would notice, I'd look over to them and give them a cute little smile and put my finger to my lips as if to say "our little secret ok?". Sometimes they would even come over and start a conversation - much more discreet, and safer.

Then my wife and I went through my wardrobe, threw out anything that was too short, to tight, or too young. About 90% of Debbie's wardrobe. Then we went shopping at Lane Bryant and Avenue. I had to try on anything she picked out for me, and show it to her. Anything I picked out I had to show her before I took it back, if she said "try it', I could put it on but I had to show it to her. The skirts seemed too long. The blouses too loose. And Pants I could wear as Rex.

We went home, and the next day, I went to Boston, and packed some of the new outfits. I went shopping one night, in the mall. I walked past men, women, teenage girls, even children, and nobody noticed anything. No long stares, no giggling, nothing. Even in the ladies room, there were no issues of any kind.

When I came home, Lee explained it to me.
"When you dress like a ****, girls see you as competition and will look for some flaw - which means they are more likely to see the clues that you might be a guy".
then she smiled and said
"In the outfits we picked out, you look better than about half the women, and not quite as nice as the rest of the women. When a man or woman sees you, they don't see anything special so they look for a few seconds and move on to the next pretty face."

Ever since then, I have adopted this philosophy in my own dressing. I almost never get read anymore. Even when I go to places like Dallas Texas or Baton Rouge Louisiana, I don't get read. What's really interesting is to spend an hour or so talking to people I've just met, and mention that Lee, who I have been talking about for a while, is my wife. They ask, "how long you you been married?". I say "8 years". When they say "But gay marriage wasn't legal until 2009, how could you be married that long" that's when I know they don't have a clue. I'll smile and quietly whisper, "I was her husband at the time". Next comes the goldfish expression. Eyes about to pop out, mouth opening and closing, then "No, you were a man?". I come back with "No, but everybody, including my doctor, thought I was". That's usually enough to start a whole new conversation and deepen the friendship even more.

Now that I have 40-C breasts, it's hard to convince anyone that I am not 100% girl.

[stephNE]

You are right, a group of teenagers not something you want to run into.
I've seen it a couple times. I don't let it bother me - I just keep going.
It doesn't seem to happen often any more, maybe as I am older I look more like an older woman.
I'm not saying that I pass well, but as a 20-30 year old I didn't pass as well.

[sometimes_miss]

I did make the mistake of not taking off some translucent pink nail polish one night when I went out to pick up some fast food. Of course it was a slow night, and there were three teen girls behind the counter, and, with nothing else to focus on, one noticed my nails. She said nothing to my face, but I overheard the discussion about it as they huddled together over by the drive through register, with a few muffled giggles. Nothing was said during the time I was waiting, and one of them prepared my meal; but as I left, the girl pushing out the order said, 'Nice nails' with an apologetic smile, while glancing down at my hand. They're not all cruel. Ah, if only I was only about 40 years younger. She's clearly one of the good ones; who knows, in a few years she might be here asking questions about a boyfriend's interesting behavior.

[Nadine Spirit]

Girls laugh, boys laugh, people laugh, I laugh. I don't think anyone has ever laughed out loud in public at me. Don't get me wrong, I hear laughter all of the time, but long ago I gave up the idea that they are actually laughing at me. I've looked. They are always just gathered around each other and pointing at their phones and laughing about something that has nothing to do with me.

When I first started going out I assumed that everyone was laughing at me, but I was never able to actually verify it. I finally just accepted that people laugh.

[Beverley Sims]

I want a big mobile phone like that guy in the UK comedy sketches years ago.

He wandered around talking loudly into this humongous cellphone.

I want a solid one so as I can bop some of these rude teenage girls on the head.

I have often retreated, and try not to be in malls at four o'clock in the afternoon.

Yes, they are the worst.

[docrobbysherry]

I'm very sorry that teenage girls "bother" some of u. But, since we just had another trans murdered in Hollywood I'm having a hard time being sympathetic tonite.

If u r a CD and r NOT prepared for some of the uncomfortable things that can happen when venturing out to vanilla venues, don't go.

Trans have no choice but u do! And, yes. I take my own advice whenever possible.

[Marcelle]

Hi WAH,

I have run into roving packs of teen girls while out dressed and yes, I get the double takes, stares, hushed comments and giggles. However it is just teens and to them everything outside of their narrowly defined category of "normal" is funny. I have seen groups of teen girls mock and giggle at people in non-stylish clothes, women dressed too young and guys who don't live up to their standard of "super hottie". This is just hormones and inexperience talking and I hold them no malice and normally just smile and walk on. But these are not normal circumstances and I have met plenty of teens who though give me an odd look that is where it normally ends.

I try to keep in mind that not everyone has seen one of us in the wild and the first time can be odd and sometimes laughter, giggles and guffaws is just an emotional knee jerk reaction to an odd event.

Hugs

Isha

[JocelynRenee]

I finally just accepted that people laugh.

That made me laugh!

[I Am Paula]

I do a lot of work for the Catholic School Board, that involves being one on one with hundreds of teenage boys, and girls. They are very respectful of my gender, and some of the grade 11, and 12's knew me as a guy. Never so much as a giggle ( that I could hear). The most common comments from the girls- You look nice, or where did you get your shoes?

Girls at the mall or coffee shop may giggle and stare for a second, but in the end, they're just being teenage girls.

Our future is in good hands.

As an aside, as I talk to teenagers- Everybody knows someone with gender or sexuality issues. Kids just accept it.

[Stephanie47]

Wild, I think the vast majority of cross dressers are afraid of other consequences of being identified as a cross dresser. It's not the giggling teenage girls. Sure, my cover may be blown. "It's a guy in a dress." I live in a state that has laws protecting gays, lesbians, transgenders, cross dressers, etc. Laws do not confer acceptance. Most of us fear the negative comments of the work place, the church, the neighbors, interference of ordinary daily life. Each person has to think about the consequences to self and family, as it has been discussed ad nauseam on this forum.

One thing I had not considered, which may be of real concern in a small town to many, is a cell phone picture. The adverse encounter may not be limited to the small group of teenage girls, but, the world. How would you cope with your image posted on a pictorial display of cross dressers, lovely or not so lovely?

[Jodi]

This reminds me of an occasion a few years ago. I was out shopping enfemme at a large mall. I was dressed casually--jeans, a nice sweater, and heeled ankle boots. I was taking a break sitting on a bench when 3 teenage girls came over to me. One was a real smartass. She sarcastically said to her friends that's a dude. She then said to me, "you don't pass as a woman". I smiled at them and said, "I know I don't pass, but am I presentable?" They agreed that I was presentable and complimented me on my Gucci bag. They went on their way with no further comments.

If you are scared or defensive, you fall into their trap. Just face them with head held high and smile. That will most always disarm them.

There is a slogan that, "it takes leather balls to play rugby". To go out and about dressed enfemme, also requires a bit of leather balls. You can't be timid.

Jodi

[Tiffany B.]

As Jodi said... if you take away their ammunition by laughing or joking along with them, they have nothing to shoot at you..

Me, being the closet case that I am, I can only dream of being presentable enough to go out in public... but over looking that small obstacle, I would think that as long as my "secret" doesnt get back to my family, friends or co-workers, all is good..