I came out to my parents

[Aubrey Skye]

So tonight I finally told my parents I was basically transsexual. The knew back in 2009 the I was crossdressing, but they kind of ignored it then and pretended it didn't exist and I could be healed. Fast forward to tonight, I wrote a letter of what I'd say to help me talk to them. I lost it twice before even starting and mom grabbed my letter from my hands and her and dad started reading it. Well was pretty quiet at first but we talked.

Basically long story short, they said they'd never disown me and always will love me. They still aren't really accepting itb, but I guess just still in shock for now. They still in some way think Satan has some part in this and God can perform miracles and I can "be healed". That part really hurt. But they were welling to be open minded and research it and try to understand.

So overall, I guess it went better than I expected. Seems in time they may accept it. But I guess I wanted more and now. Guess it's time to be patient and play this out.

[Bria]

Congratulations on getting over that hurdle, I can't imagine a harder thing to do than to tell your parents. I'm glad that you lived through it and that they still love you even when they don't understand. Hopefully time will bring at least a measure of understanding. God can perform miracles, just not the ones your parents are hoping for right now.

I think you are right to be patient and hope for the best.

Hugs, Bria

[Suzanne F]

Aubrey
I know how hard that is. I have done it in the last year with my parents. I see that you are from West Virginnia. My parents live in KY. They have never dealt with this before and are very confused. All we can do is be honest and hope for the best. Good luck and keep posting!
Hugs
Suzanne

[arbon]

That was a really big step. Be careful, and take care of yourself! Dont get caught up in their drama about it if they make it a big deal.

[Rachel Smith]

I am glad it went good with your parents. I told my parents in a letter and waited for the big explosion but it never came all I got was love and support from them. Of course not living in my hometown helped with that alot I think.

Anyway congrats love and patience is what you need to give if that is what you desire to receive.

[Michelle789]

I am planning on coming out to my family next month. I only have three family members that I talk to. My mom, dad, and younger brother. My relatives on both sides of the family are either dead, live in a foreign country, or I just don't talk to them.

I am really freaking out on how they're going to react. I am expecting anything from them threatening to disown me, to guilt-tripping me into not transitioning, into telling me how it sucks to be a woman, or they might even try to tell me that I have some other mental disorder such as Bipolar or Asperger's and might try to blame an untreated psychiatric disorder for my "gender confusion."

[Aubrey Skye]

I know what you mean Michelle. I got a a lot of those typical things last night. Even asked me if I had been sexually assaulted as a kid or if they did something wrong to make me this way. They can't seem to come to terms I may have just been born this way. I stumped them when they say "God doesn't make mistakes." I replied that I believe that too so either I was a mistake and was born the wrong gender or there is no mistake and I'm on the right path. They certainly had no answer to that. They still feel like I'll be healed, but fortunately I was not disowned. I hope all goes well for you Michelle!

[PretzelGirl]

Michelle, they may just love you and accept you. Yes, there will be bad experiences. But after my experiences in telling people, the number one thing I believe you have to do is approach the discussion with a positive attitude and tell them in a positive light. If you feel negativity, it will transfer to your words and expressions and then you are setting yourself up for judgement. "Mom, Dad, I have to tell you something. I have kept this inside of me but it is important for me to tell you because it makes me happier when I can be myself." is far better than "Mom, Dad, I am sorry if this is something you will struggle with, but I doing something you may not agree with.".

[Aubrey Skye]

So told my parents Saturday, had a thread on it. Anyway, today my parents made some phone calls and different things to research and find a counselor for me and to get some more info on the subject of me being transsexual. Well I'm glad they are taking the initiative this time. I sort of came out back in 2009, but it wasn't received well. This time I took a different approach and was more passionate about it. Anyway, albeit only being a few days, I'm getting a little frustrated. They contacted Focus on the Family (by Dr. James Dobson) for their references, obviously Christian based for their references. I'm ok with this as I'm still a Christian and believe very much in God. However, it seems as they aren't really trying to understand me, but just find someone who can "pray it out of me." My mom talked to my grandmother for extra prayer. My mom even called the church yesterday while we were gone to have someone stand in for me during prayer to receive extra prayer. So essentially as I said, instead of trying to understand it or help me with it, they are just trying to "pray it out" and hope their son comes back to them. I'm glad my parents are trying to show they care and help me, I'm just not entirely happy about the way they are going about it.

Should I be frustrated for this or are my qualms about it justified? I don't think I need to be healed, I just think I need someone to help me be who I am...

[Nigella]

As a courtesy to Aubrey her OP of the thread that was closed has been reposted here. ANY member who wants to discuss the religious aspect of this post should do it via PM. If there are any posts which contain religious comments will be deleted, not edited and the poster will be moderated. Please respect this rule.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Aubrey I think what can safely be said is that you have great courage and you can be proud you've made this statement, and most importantly your parents expressed their love for you..

You crossed one river. You didn't get thrown out and they are willing to try to understand. That's a great start.

[DebbieL]

Aubrey I think what can safely be said is that you have great courage and you can be proud you've made this statement, and most importantly your parents expressed their love for you..

The good news is that you have been able to be authentic, be honest with them, and do it in a way that was loving.


You crossed one river. You didn't get thrown out and they are willing to try to understand. That's a great start.

Your parents have no background or reliable sources of information. You will probably have to help them find the information.
The good thing is that they love you and want you to be happy. They want what is best for you, and it may take time for them to understand that this is best.

If you are living with them, your therapist will probably want to see the three of you together at some point. This is to make sure that you have a supportive environment as you begin to transition.

You've started quite a way down and important path.
Congratulations.