RLE Baby Steps - Shopping with my Wife

[Brianna_H]

My wife and I made plans to go out and do our Halloween shopping on Saturday. After breakfast, I raised the question that had been on my mind. My therapist has recommended I get out while dressed to get more life experience while presenting as female. I've mentioned this to my wife before, but she was not ready for it. This time when I brought it up, she was nervous, but accepting. I'd spent the morning getting the best makeup job on myself possible and was pretty happy with it.

Out we went! It was a little nerve-wracking at first, but no one gave me a second look, that I noticed. I've been out once before and experienced the same thing. Most people are too wrapped up in their own thoughts and goals to pay attention to one trans-woman buying a halloween outfit with her wife. :D The store was crowded, but nothing happened. I had to ask for some help from a staffer, and that went fine. Had to try on the costume, and that went fine, too.

I'm going as a Huntress and my wife is going as an evil Jester. :D Sorry, no pics yet.

Afterward we went to Lane Bryant, as I really need more skirts. Found a couple of things and tried them on. No issues. I'm gradually replacing my wardrobe with female clothes, but it's going to take a while.

All in all, it was exciting, but ultimately mundane. Mechelle told me she I had a lot of "balls" to go out like that and she was really proud of me. I'm so glad to have her with me.

Next time.... the grocery store! lol

Peace and hugs to all you gals. Thanks for the inspiration and encouragement.

[Starling]

Step one accomplished, Brianna. You're fortunate to have such a supportive mate; cherish her. And good luck to you both as you progress in your transition.

:) Lallie

[Jorja]

While I am happy for you and glad you had a good time, how will you react to a trip out where an a$$hole gets in your face and tries to humiliate you right there in public with everyone watching? When you can walk out of these type of situations unscathed, that is what I call a successful trip out

[Bria]

Jorga, do you mean unscathed physically (I'd certainly hope so) or physically and emotionally (I'd hope for that but the emotional part is more iffy)?

Brianna, I'm glad you had a good experience and it's great that the most important person in your life was with you (strength in numbers if nothing else). Next time will be easier!

Hugs, Bria

[DebbieL]

That is a really great first adventure! Good for you!
The fact that you wife went with you, and was supportive and helped you shop - speaks volumes about her love for you as well.

Make sure you do something wonderful for her as well.

[KellyJameson]

It seems people pick up on nervousness, If you are calm and are not trying to draw attention to yourself usually no one pays much attention. Your avatar looks good.

I have to sew a Tinkerbell outfit for a two year old, A spiderman outfit for a five year old and a Green Goblin outfit for a seven year old.

This may be the first Halloween where I don't have time to make something for myself. Huntress sounds cool!

Wonderful that your wife is being supportive. Sometimes I am in awe of what people will do for each other in the name of love.

It gives me hope for humanity.

[MarieTS]

Congratulations Brianna: You're passing! I think you'll find the grocery store easier than clothing stores because the grocery crowd is preoccupied and fatiquied. Good luck and enjoy!

[Starling]

...an a$$hole gets in your face and tries to humiliate you right there in public with everyone watching...

I imagine it's happened to all but a fortunate few of us. It happened to me--in a long line at Costco--and it was a middle-aged woman, oddly enough. I don't know what her motive was, but perhaps she guessed that I was buying provisions for a small coming-out dinner party that night, and just wanted to help speed the process along.

:) Lallie

[Cheryl123]

You look great Brianna. RLE is a bit scary at first, but you will find the more you go out, the easier it gets. You'll get to a point where going out NOT dressed a a women is big let-down. And you'll have really enjoyable times when you are in a store, all dolled up, and you feel really happy just being yourself. That's when you want to live in the moment. And you have a wonderful wife, by the way.

[Bunny Girl Zoe]

Well done on making step one.

[Suzanne F]

Way to go girl! It will get easier to be yourself. It will get harder to pose as a man. As you gain more confidence you will quit looking for other people's reactions. However, some situations will be tougher than others. Anyway it is all worth it!
Suzanne

[Brianna_H]

While I am happy for you and glad you had a good time, how will you react to a trip out where an a$$hole gets in your face and tries to humiliate you right there in public with everyone watching? When you can walk out of these type of situations unscathed, that is what I call a successful trip out

Message received loud and clear. I'm not sure how I will react, but if my wife is with me, she is liable to rip an assailant's head off and spit venom down their throat. Seriously, she's a tough chick. We both grew up in a rough town and I've been through some humiliating experiences regarding my weight and femme demeanor.

But it's good to be prepared. I should think about what my responses to that kind of thing will be. Maybe roleplay it a bit. I know nothing really prepares you for confrontation, but feeling prepared can help be more confident in the first place.

[Jorja]

Remember, you do not really want outright confrontation unless you have to but you do not want him to see fear or that he is getting to you. Be confident, look him straight in the eye, don't get cocky just tell them to back off and give it a rest, then keep on moving away.
He is just a bully and his opinion doesn't mean anything to you. Do not dwell on his words.