Rather crossdress or have a girlfriend

[LIKETODRESS2]

My last gf was totally fine with me cross dressing. We have since broke up in the last few months and now I trying to find a new gf that is ok with me cross dressing. I gone out with 2 different girls since and not came right out and said that I do it , I just of hinted at it. One girl was putting on lip gloss and I asked if I could use it. She looked at me like I had 3 heads and said in I kinda bitch as tone . guys don't wear this stuff I would never date a guy who did . SO I know she is out. The other one I was talking to the day were going on the phone, She asked me what I was doing and said painting. SHe asked me what I was painting and I said my toes. I long pause and then She says I hope to you are kidding. I told her I was just kidding. But I was trying to figure what color I was going to paint my kitchen since I was in the middle of a re mole. I know it only 2 girls but here is my question

Would you rather date a girl and not cross dress. Or stay single and be able to cross dress any time you wanted to

[Lorileah]

sounds like you have a good screening process there

[RADER]

My late Wife was OK with my dressing; It was a CDers dream.
My first wife was against me dressing, bad times.
So to answer your question, If a GG does not like me for what and
who I am, well I just might keep looking.
Rader

[Annaliese]

Coming to the conclusion that I am TS and not a CD rather be my self, and be able to dress when I wanted.

[Jenniferathome]

...

Would you rather date a girl and not cross dress. Or stay single and be able to cross dress any time you wanted to

That's not a choice anyone has to face. Your prior girlfriend is proof of that. The how and when of your disclosure seems to be your issue. Disclosure by leakage does not work.

[candykowal]

Early in my youth, I had the same issues...it's not easy finding a girl who can tolerate a cross dresser.
All of my girl friends usually used me for free lingerie, clothes, jewelry and makeup, helping me with my dressing, parties and drugs, and as there girl friends when they wanted to hide there lover from their husband.
I got to the point where I gave up dressing, found a wonderful soulmate and got married.
I am her husband today and for 18 years I never dressed...but it does come back...and now I am in the closet with her for fear of loosing my love.
I guess what I am trying to say is keep trying to find that wonderful girl.
But don't give up your true self...you can't quit your desires to feel and be feminine...it's in our nature.

[Terri Andrews]

I wish I would have considered this 16 years ago, I have a very accepting SO ,but I would rather be who I am full time.

[paula1911]

Live life without a soul mate just becuse you want to dress. That would be a miserable life my friend.

I belive there a lot of girls that would be ok with you dressing. My consort was taken of guard with my disclosure. She was unsure where it would lead, like gay sex for example. Girls are worried about the lifestyle.

Hang in there. There is somebody out there

[Maria 60]

Wow wow wow! What a question, I told my wife if something happens between us (GOD forbid) I don't think I will ever find someone like her. I sometime ask myself the question, if I had to do it all over, would I tell the girl fast or would I wait, or being in the closet and not wanting anyone to know and the only one who knows now is my wife, would I ever tell anyone else ever. So as you can tell I can't give you advance, instead I think your ride in the future can give me a lot of answers in this confusing situation. Good luck and I hope you let us know how your journey go's.

[docrobbysherry]

This dressing thing is NOT like golf as a hobby, Like. It's more like an addiction.

I think u r smart to reveal that u have dressed. Because, even if u hook up with a woman and u quit, if u stay together long enuff the urge seems to return and even get stronger as we age.

If u r up front about it, then u can discuss the issue honestly when that time comes.

[Kate Simmons]

That is a personal question only we, ourselves, can answer. :)

[SO1Adam12]

I agree with Jenniferathome....I think your delivery is the problem, in addition to timing. I get wanting to disclose early on, but you need to get to know the woman a bit, feel things out and ask some probing questions about alternative lifestyles. I for one would run for the hills if a guy dropped this bomb on me during our first couple of dates - especially knowing what I know now about CDing. I stayed because we already formed a bond and I care about him. That is not to say you should let her fall in love and then spring it on her. That's not fair either.

My advice is date 6ish....I would like to say 30 days but it depends on how often you will see each other. Definitely before you become intimate with one other. I would be honest and upfront and make sure you have her trust. Disclosing this to someone you don't know very well, may result in you being outed before you are ready.

[Ressie]

Well I did laugh out loud at your post like2dress2! I think your approach is pretty good, but may need some tweaking. You don't have to waste anymore time with these women that are looking for a man with zero feminine qualities. It may take 10-20 more dates to find the one that will help you paint your toenails and go shopping with you. It's a numbers game.

But what if that one turns out to be wrong in other ways? So many CDs have a wife that tolerate it, but that's not enough for me. I want my next relationship to be not only total acceptance, but someone that's truly interested in CDing.

For now, I've been single long enough that I'm used to it. Dressing more and enjoying it! Of course, I'm no longer in my early 40s either.

[AllieSF]

The two examples given were 100% good hits, and they definitely worked for her and saved her a lot of wasted time and money, and maybe some aggravation for her dating partners. No wasted time trying to wait for the best moment. The delivery may seem awkward to some of us, but they worked quickly and very efficiently. Yes, some can have better deliveries, but each really needs to find their own way in determining what works best for them. I know some wonderfully long term married couples who met each other with some of the most obvious and lamest types of pick up lines delivered in bars!

As for when to tell, which one should do before getting into a long term serious relationship, that too is best left to the individual. I sure would not reveal before being intimate. Being intimate to me does not mean being in love and being ready to dedicate my life to a specific relationship. I would, however, do it when my heart and mind is captured by that someone very special. I agree that one should do a lot of looking and listening and maybe asking some round about questions to try to figure out where that other person may be regarding tolerance and hopefully acceptance to these alternate lifestyle hobbies, obsessions, or whatever one decides to call this TG side of themselves. The majority of all big reveals are made at risk. Hopefully, that risk can be minimized and maybe even mitigated by better knowing the other's specific opinions on matters important to the revealer, and by trying to set the stage over time so that the other may be less shocked when told. TG in the umbrella definition, by the way.

[Tonya Rose]

Personally,, I Had rather CD than have a girlfriend.....that Was your question.....i I an a very fortunate girl to have a wife that aepts me for who I am.. and that all started in the begening of our relationship.. we played a lot ..lol.lot.. of BDSM. games (use your own imagination). Don't want to get scolded by (kati again thank this site for her keeping it clean)gotta love her.. but feel very comfortable dressing up here at home with her around .point is I don't think I would ever want to have anyone else to complete my life with me having to explain myself to them for acceptance I accept it and I'm the only one that will ever matter in the future.....!!! Luv ya girls HUGGS.....

[lexivanderpump]

It's a difficult question to answer because in my opinion, crossdressing is not a choice. In many cases it's who we are. In some cases, it may be a choice. However, only you can answer that question for your unique situation.

I hope this helps a bit hun.

Love,
Lexi V.

[BillieAnneJean]

If a wife or SO reads this thread you will find some opinions that are applicable to the person who posted but not to everyone. Yes some crossdress out of a real need. Some do it because it is just fun. It ranges between those two extremes. Before you decide that all is lost with your man, have a frank and unemotional conversation with him. Ask him where he sees it going. He may have a better idea what is going on in his head than any opinions you pick up in your "research" on any forum.

For me, my wife is number one above all else. If she said that my crossdressing had to stop, if compromise was impossible, if I had to choose her versus anything, she would always win. She is the best part of living. Even in the bad times, I would still say she is worth everything I have to give.

So for this crossdresser, CDing is never going to be more important than she is. Not by a LONG shot.

[Adriana Moretti]

I would rather be single and crossdress, but neither has anything to do with each other. I find girls to be needy, and annoying ( Well I can only speak of my ex's) . A date to me is a math equtaion which I will be coming out in the negative...and I also know I could never be married , the way some of you gals have to ASK for permission to do what you want in life ,baffles me. I could never do that, I like my freedom and ability to go anywhere and do anything I want.And spend my money on ME, ...call me selfish..it's ok. I also do not need anyone in life to make my life feel complete..I am happy and comfortable in my own skin and could have a blast completely alone. Friends on the other hand are a different story....that is something I could NOT live without. But this clip sums it up pretty well.....I could NEVER live like that...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QzPRpePDLj8

[FemmeMonique]

This is a tough choice. As much as I love dressing, I love having a relationship more.

[carahawkwind]

Before I was married, I dated a quite a few women, but didn't have that many girlfriends, I didn't really waste much time with people I didn't see as long term potential, but most of the people saw as longer term potential seemed like people that might be open to me dressing. I ended up telling three women, one really liked it and I stopped seeing her for other reasons, another seemed indifferent to it, but ended the relationship for other reasons, and third I'm married to and she is usually quite positive about it. I never tried to stifle my dressing for a relationship, so I guess I means I'd rather dress, but really it never came up much.

[Beverley Sims]

Back when I had a choice, :) :) I would date a girl in preference to dressing.
The euphoria of it all meant I lost some interest in dressing.
When I rented the house and had three flatmates sub let it, things turned full circle and they all wanted to dress me up and take me out.

Sigh!

That was wonderful. :)

[CherylFlint]

Bad question since it doesn't apply.
There are girls out there who are just fine with a CD.
I married one.
Good luck.

[DebbieL]

Why would I want to have a girlfriend who couldn't accept my cross-dressing. I'm transsexual, I've been a girl on the inside even when I was a boy on the outside.

The most miserable years of my life were the 7 years when my wife was making it painfully clear how much she hated my cross-dressing, and sex, and me.
At one point, she ranted to my parents for 3 hours and they finally told her "If you can't speak nicely of our son, then just stop talking and leave". She left and never came back to their house again. I was almost relieved when she said she wanted to get married to another man. She could finally be happy with what she wanted, and I could find someone who could accept me.

By the time we got divorced, I had been out in public getting Real Life Experience and seriously considering transition. It only took a few days from the day our divorce was final for me to be introduced to someone who wanted to meet me BECAUSE I was transsexual. She was bisexual, and loved sharing me with her girl-friends. It was one of the happiest times of my life.

Since then, I've had two other girl-friends who loved Debbie, and finally married a woman who loved Debbie. In fact, she likes Debbie more than she likes Rex. Good thing too, because now I'm transitioning, and she can see how much happier I am, and how much more I can love her when I don't have to put up the front of Rex.

The key is that in order to meet a girl who likes that you are cross-dressing, you have to start going out in public while cross-dressing. The other option is to use a computer dating site and include pictures of both girl you and boy you. About 1 in 100 women will respond with "This is interesting - tell me more". But you don't need to even get 1%, you ultimately only need to get ONE.

[Alice Torn]

Some of us, like me, at age 60, are used to being alone, and realize that time is getting short, for this program, so, if i never find a right one that is not already taken, fine. My cats and i love each other. If the totally unexpected woman comes into my life,that tolerates dressing would be nice , too, but living alone for decades other than with roommates, its hard to imagine a mate.

[Michelle789]

Well said Debbie.

You can have both if you are a CD, and if you are TS you can transition and have a girlfriend or boyfriend. The key is don't get married to someone under the pretenses that you are a cis-gendered man. If you are a CD, and you are single, then be open about your CDing. If you are TS and need to transition, then tell any potential partner that this is who you are. Even if the odds are stacked against you finding a partner, like Debbie said, all you need is one.

I never had been in a relationship prior to starting transition. I was terrible at playing the male role in a relationship. I was shy to ask women out or to hit on women. I knew I was a bottom and desired to be a girl in a relationship and to be treated as such. I wasn't sure if I liked men or women, but one thing was clear, I had absolutely no desire to play the man in a relationship. I was able to play single man for 34 years, who CDed in private. But when a psychic relentlessly pressured me into trying to play man in relationship, I quickly realized that I am a TS and there is something deeper to my CDing than meets the eye. I started presenting publicly in February, 2014, and have been increasing my public appearances as Michelle from February until June. I spent the entire last 9 days of May as Michelle, and when I had to return to work on June 2, I could no longer tolerate keeping up the male persona. I was so miserable presenting as male in early June.

God did me a huge favor. On June 10, I lost my job and had no more reason to keep up the male persona. For all practical purposes, my male persona died on June 10, 2014, at 5:00 PM, when my boss told me that he was letting me go. The male persona made a few "ghost" appearances during the summer at my AA home group. I was living as a woman in all circumstances except my AA home group, which was every other Friday. That changed when I came out as trans on August 29, 2014, and I have been full-time ever since. My last appearance as a male was two weeks earlier, August 15, at my AA home group.

A transgender man (FTM) who goes to my support group asked me out and we have been boyfriend and girlfriend since June 25, 2014. He only ever knew me as Michelle, and I only ever knew him as Cody. We have been together for 3 and a half months.

The thing is whether you are a CD or a TS, make sure that any potential partner knows who you really are before going into the relationship. Make sure your new girlfriend knows both your boy and girl modes, and can accept that. If you are a TS and going to transition, make sure your new partner only knows you as a a girl.

[Talisker]

This seems a bit like asking if you would like to keep your left leg or the right leg. Why x´cant you have both?
You only need to find one girl so throw those two fish back and keep fishing.
Your choice of fishing site is also very important for the type of fish you want to catch.
Maybe select more alternative dating sites rather than mainstream hetero or if feeling brave and look good in a dress go to some friendly clubs. The girls interested have a good excuse to come and speak to you.

[Vickie_CDTV]

Hands down, I would rather have a girlfriend than dress. As much as the dressing means to me, it is not even close.

[KaceyR]

Hmm. Pretty much has been said. Although In my case it's a bit rougher to think on.
1: I'm starting my shift to the TS side of things.. So it's not 'just' CDing anymore.
But
2: I've not dated or had a relationship for 31 years now.. (Social anxieties are a you-know-what)
And I gotta say thats pretty dang depressing.
And thanks to #1, can't say that'll improve anytime soon.

Overall though, I thought early on and still do today.. It would never be an either-or thing... Girlfriend would have to be amicable with the CD (or TS now) side of me as well. It's a part of me than can't be dropped like a hobby w/o causing problems. And forcing a drop of it would damage both me, and any thought of a good relationship, as a good one would have both partners accepting of each other's quirks no matter what.
It's the only way for sanity and longevity for both partners.

[Teresa]

I guess you have to relate it to levels of happiness and the conclusion life is all about compromises !
I had two GFs before I married that accepted Cding so I know it can happen ! I my wife is coming round to it but slowly but would I prefer to dress rather than have children and watch them grow up and now grandchildren, no way !

Now is the time for me to try and enjoy my Cding, I know I'm trying to play catch up, but whatever I choose to do, I know I'm not alone, I have a family to support me !

[Seana Summer]

It may be difficult to have both if you live in Montana! If you lived in a more liberal area you may find it easier to find a mate who accepts Crossdressing.

I had a friend once who was in search of the perfect women to marry. He was not, to my knowledge, a crossdresser but he had his issues. He searched and searched until one night when he was about 35 he had too much to drink and was killed in an automobile accident. He never did find a Miss America who would put up with his b.s.

It would be great if we could all live the dream life, but life is about choices. Not everyone can be happy all the time. Sometimes we have to decide what will make us the most complete and the happiest and go for it. For me Crossdressing is something I enjoy, but I would and could stop if need be, others can not. I am fortunate I can dress occasionally and have the people in my life that I want to have.

You have to find your own best fit and it may not be a perfect fit

[Mollyanne]

Being that you have asked the question-------If I wasn't married for as long as I am (50 yrs) and know what I know now I would be single and probably would have fully transitioned. So, in short I would have to say that I hope I have answered your question.

Molly

[CostaRicaRachel]

OK, I will put my 2 cents in.

I am just speaking about myself, I don't mean do give anyone any advice on what they
should do.

This is just hypothetical. If the roles were reversed. If I was a normal heterosexual guy, (which I am not),
and I was dating a girl and she told me she wanted to dress like a guy and act like a guy around the house.
I dont' think I would like that. Then if she wanted us to go out in public together and introduce us as a couple,
that would be unacceptable.

So, when I look at it from that point of view, I think it is difficult to find a woman that accepts a man that
crossdresses, let alone, enjoys it.

I have dated many women and have never told any of them I crossdress.
I don't believe keeping this hidden was fair, to them or to me.

At this point I don't want to have to go thru the process of explaining myself, etc, etc, etc.
I have decided I am going to look to date someone that not only tolerates crossdressing but
likes being around crossdressers/transsexuals. I don't know where to find one, but I was
thinking about alt.com or maybe dateacrossdresser.com.

Does anyone else have any ideas where people who like crossdressers might be found.

[Jackie7]

for me in my first marriage it was either or, dress and lose my then-wife, or don't dress and lose myself. But after the divorce I dressed pretty to go out as often as possible -- two or three days each week as it turned out -- and deliberately thrust myself into new social situations as Jackie, quickly leaving where I did not find ready acceptance and sticking with the new friends who were OK with it, and through new mutual friends I soon met my second wife, while dressed en femme. So there were no secrets from the start, I knew from the start she was OK with it, and so did she. Twelve years on we are married and still deliriously happy with one another, I dress as I please with her support and encouragement. But I do believe my happy situation could only have come about through me getting out of the closet and into the world, and being completely up front with it.

I've since made many women friends who enjoy and like me just fine the way I am, quite a few of whom I am sure would not turn away from a man who happened to be a CD. They are everywhere, but you can't find them and they can't find you from inside the closet, and you probably won't get far if cross dressing is the sum total of you. If you are a nice person who is fun to be around and treats women well, the fact that you like to wear women's clothes can recede into the background. My hard-earned 2 cents anyway.

[Teresa]

Jackie that was well said especially the second paragraph, my wife has always said that I would never have a problem getting a new partner if anything happened to her, but she always said jokingly I know how to put them off ! If you try and be a good person the bad bits don't look as bad !!

[Ressie]

Looks like opinions vary according to each of our life experiences, including former or present relationships as well as where we each fall on the TG spectrum.

[Tina_gm]

If I had to choose between never CDing again, and having any type of feminine expression or give up my wife, I would choose my wife. I have told her this, and have also told her I cannot ever stop having the feelings and desires, and in some way, my femininity would always some how be present, (not a purposeful expression of it) She loves me enough to allow me to have feminine expression as it makes me a happier person to do so.

If I were to be single today, I would be revealing immediately to anyone whom I felt going to date solidly. I have seen enough evidence on this board to know that while theymay be a minority, there are women who will accept CDing. It would be just a matter of finding ones that did.

[Jean. Ann]

If tha woman could accept this , it would be a "deal breaker" just the same if. she had qualities I could not accept .

Jean. Ann

[Tiffany Jane]

Cding alone is just that...alone. unless dressing everyday will fulfill a lifetime of companionship, love, support, and sometimes really hard difficult times, then by all means. It's life and cding isn't the only thing to end relationships. Crossdressing takes on many stages for people. Many of us don't start out here and it took me years to get to this stage. Ask me to give up my sixteen years of marriage and son for an advanced course in crossdressing and I would stop at nothing to make sure that didn't happen.
Rather than focus on cding as a perceived fault, realize the qualities it may bring out or emphasize in your character or personality. These will be the building blocks of any relationship. The acceptance of crossdressing by a SO is seldomly as easy as you are trying to deliver it but it is a failsafe way to find out who isn't as accepting.

My wife and I sat and watched the last part of football game last night. First time I had done this casually around the house in her presence. She assured me she was okay, and she appearred comfortable, but it took me a few minutes to relax. She has known of my closet crossdressing for awhile now and we were able to discuss my feelings about it. She accepts the way dressing makes me feel relaxed and allows me to get away from the stresses of work and life. If it makes me a better person to be around, she will support and discuss this activity.

[Paula_Femme]

If I were to be single today, I would be revealing immediately to anyone whom I felt going to date solidly. I have seen enough evidence on this board to know that while theymay be a minority, there are women who will accept CDing. It would be just a matter of finding ones that did.

Exactly, it's not an "either/or" question, you CAN have both, it just takes a lot of work, which is definitely worth it in the end!!! :battingeyelashes:

[Sometimes Steffi]

This dressing thing is NOT like golf as a hobby, Like. It's more like an addiction.


Hmmm. And here I thought golf was an addiction. Why would you feel like chucking the clubs into the pond or wrapping an iron around a tree and then come back the next week for another round.

[grace7777]

To me dressing en femme is part of who I am. It is something that I will not give up for anyone. Right now I will probably never get married and I am fine with that. Lately I am starting to think I am TS and this is something I need to sort out before I can even consider the possibility of a relationship. Also, I do not think I would be able to handle the male role in a relationship.

[sometimes_miss]

Would you rather date a girl and not cross dress. Or stay single and be able to cross dress any time you wanted to
For some of us there doesn't have to be a choice. I found that when I'm in a good relationship the urge to crossdress can be kept under control. It's when stuff starts going bad that I'm not able to hold it back as well (when I'm with a warm, friendly woman, crossdressing is the last thing on my mind).
However. I date. But I found as I got older it's much harder to find someone that I WANT to date; there are plenty of women out there, and I took the trouble to learn how to spot the ones who are interested in me (read Leil Lowndes 'Undercover Sex Signals' for a start, then read the references and learn more from there). However, finding a woman who likes a crossdressing guy is like finding a needle in a hundred haystacks; they're that rare. So I basically stopped waiting to find one; I've decided to continue to date, continue to crossdress when I want, and go with don't ask, don't tell. Because I'm definitely not going to spend the rest of my life alone waiting to find a 'unicorn'. If by chance I stumble upon a woman who likes crossdressers, great. but if not, I'm prepared for that too. There are a lot of things in life that I want, but will never have, this is just one of them, and I refuse to feel miserable just because there's another thing that I can't have. So I enjoy the things that I do have. And learned how to very carefully conceal the fact that I'm a crossdresser.

[prene]

I hope it is not a either or proposition.

For me I am holding out for both.

I would like a gf but love dressing.

[Tinkerbell-GG]

Because I'm definitely not going to spend the rest of my life alone waiting to find a 'unicorn'.

Exactly, because what are the chances this 'unicorn' just happens to be your soul mate? Will you even find her attractive?

Choosing women who like crossdressers seems like very limited criteria. I suppose if you're that one-dimensional and crossdressing is all you are, then finding women equally one-dimensional might make a good fit?

Personally, and this is just my opinion, I think relationships of this nature can't last. There needs to be more binding a couple together than just crossdressing...or golf!

[JayeLefaye]

Many many years ago, a bachelor friend, who was looking for that "perfect woman", said he'd finally found her. I asked where she was, and he said "Still out looking for the perfect man."

I only see this as an "either-or" for those who are married. For those who are single, and know what level their CD/TS is, then it's more a matter of being true to yourself. I decided that I didn't want a partner who couldn't accept all parts of me, and no, CDing was not a hobby. It's not the clothes, it's part of my identity.

Before I met my wife(we were in our mid-fifties) I took out 2 different ads on Craigslist.

Ad #1: Semi-employed Harley Riding tattooed cross dresser.

Ad #2. Gainfully employed, artistic minded, but I smoke.

20+ responses to the first ad...2 to the second.....Smoking was a much bigger deal breaker.....Smoking is a habit that can be broken, CDing can be stifled, but the desire/need will never disappear.

And to clear up any confusion about my ads being deceptive, I was gainfully semi-employed...Seasonal work that was enough to pay my bills.
Jaye

[mikee82]

I chose Crossdress for 1 2nd I am a Homosexual and consider myself the Girlfriend, because I have been called a Lacey Gay Male !!!!!!!

[Ally 2112]

I told my wife way before we got married in the end it did not work out .My long term GF after that i also told before we got very serious.Altough they both were ok with it for quite awhile the CDing just complicated things along with other issues and both did not work .I am now single and plan on staying that way it seems im just much happier and more relaxed when i dress

[Karen kc]

Knowing what I know now, and given my age, I"d rather dress!!

[Kris Avery]

Well, I did learn one thing from my ex wife.

I love that I can sometimes eat my cake and still have it too.

My SO is the most wonderful one out there and let's me dress and assists when she has energy.
The answer is rarely no in every aspect of her life and she loves her girlfriend...that she didn't know she had for years.

There are times when CDing and even being TS can work in a marriage....when it does....it's really, really special.

[MissTee]

CD-ing is a part of who I am. After several decades of living with an accepting/supportive spouse, I couldn't imagine ever accepting anything less were there a next iteration for me.

[HarleyGirl]

I would rather have a girlfriend and live my fantasys thru her. Women are the greatest company.

[MelanieAnne]

I would rather just crossdress. I like what I see in the mirror. Most women are on their best behavior when you first meet them. I was married for 17 years, and I've been single for 30 years. I've had my share of girlfriends, and two five year relationships. Most of the women I dated were throwaways. Unruly kids, trashy housekeepers, up to their eyeballs in debt. One of them is probably on Hoarders by now. I actually faked being sick, and backed out on a date, when I saw her trash filled house, and five unkempt little kids. After 30 years in the single scene, I firmly believe all the good ones are taken. I'm quite happy being alone, doing what I want, when I want, and if I want, with no one running up my credit cards, and controlling my life. Most of my married friends live lives of quiet desperation, unable to do what they want, checking with the wife before doing anything, or buying anything. My elderly neighbor died a week ago, and just a couple weeks ago, I was sitting with him in the yard, just talking. He was complaining about his wife, and he looked me in the eye and said, "You don't know how lucky you are"! Ummm, yeah I do! :battingeyelashes:

[ArleneRaquel]

Crossdressing is my chosen way of life. I have had one date with a female in over ten years. She knew me only in my male personna. She wanted to continue the relationship, but I found her a very ignorant person. I think that I'll stay the way that I am.

[grace7777]

I would rather have a girlfriend and live my fantasys thru her. Women are the greatest company.

Looking back at life around 7 to 10 years ago, I now have come to the conclusion that I thought being able to live fantasies thru a wife or girlfriend or just a female friend would satisfy me, but eventually I figured out it would not, so I started dressing en femme myself. Now I am reaching a point of considering the idea of transitioning which even 2 years ago I would have never considered. I now know I would at least like to live most of my life as a women even if I do not transition.

[Tracii G]

Back to the original post asking to borrow lip gloss or lipstick is a no no. Its as bad as wearing your SO's panties.
I don't know any women that share lipstick. It has that ewww factor.

[Cheryl T]

I've been on both sides of the fence.
For years I dated and then married (and hid). It was torture keeping all the secrets, hiding my clothes, going through purges and feeling like a spy. Finally I couldn't take it and fessed up to my wife. She was hesitant at first but now is fully accepting and I no longer hide. My clothes hang in our closet, I can dress whenever I wish (which is daily now) and we go out together all the time.

If I had to choose between the dating and hiding or the dressing and not feeling so deceptive, at this point I would pass on the dating.

[Krisi]

I already have a wife so a girlfriend would just be extra trouble in my life.

It would seem like a pretty lonely life to not have the companionship a girlfriend (or wife or husband) brings. I think it's phave a girlfriend or wife and still crossdress, it just takes some compromises. If you find someone who truly loves you, she should accept your hobby with certain limits.

[onebestdress]

I could not go without female companionship. I am recently married to a supportive spouse after having been together 4 years. If it came down to it the cross dressing would go before my wife. It would leave a void though.

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

I would do whatever it takes to find the right woman who accepts the real me and my CDing. I do need both to be happy. I not only need female companionship but I also have to allow myself to be me. This feeling cannot be suppressed for too long in my opinion. If I were to give up CDing I can tell you, I'd be miserable. Now suppose I had an unaccepting wife. That miserty would bleed over into the rest of the relationship and cause severe marital problems. It certainly did with my first marriage. The tension was so thick in the air that it was unbearable. When I got back in the dating scene, I carefully let it out about myself. I still have girl friends I dated from 35 years ago who know and we're still good friends. Although we decided that we couldn't continue a lover relationship honestly agreeing.

In today's world a lot has changed. I'm sure there are plenty of women who would form a relationship with a CDer. But, that CDer must also provide plenty of other great qualities to the relationship that are not one-sided. I can easily say that I've done that with my wife of now 18 years to make her life the best it can be.

Cheryl

[Samantha_Smile]

Currently in an LTR with my fiance who knows all about Samantha.
She would rather I didn't dress, but knows I need it. She is supportive in the sense of buying things when I need it and she never gives me a hard time for it.
So knowing a relationship where I am free (within reason) to do whatever with my presentation....

If I for whatever reason were made single, I'm pretty sure that I would remain that way until I found someone as accepting as my Wife-to-be.

[LIKETODRESS2]

THanks to everyo9ne who help me on this quote. I got a lot more respond than I thought . BUt I do agree with some of you their is someone out there that will be ok with me just have to find the right girl




My last gf was totally fine with me cross dressing. We have since broke up in the last few months and now I trying to find a new gf that is ok with me cross dressing. I gone out with 2 different girls since and not came right out and said that I do it , I just of hinted at it. One girl was putting on lip gloss and I asked if I could use it. She looked at me like I had 3 heads and said in I kinda bitch as tone . guys don't wear this stuff I would never date a guy who did . SO I know she is out. The other one I was talking to the day were going on the phone, She asked me what I was doing and said painting. SHe asked me what I was painting and I said my toes. I long pause and then She says I hope to you are kidding. I told her I was just kidding. But I was trying to figure what color I was going to paint my kitchen since I was in the middle of a re mole. I know it only 2 girls but here is my question

Would you rather date a girl and not cross dress. Or stay single and be able to cross dress any time you wanted to

[Anneliese]

I have been single most of my life. Whenever I get into a relationship, it feels really good initially, and gradually I get a sick feeling in my stomach, and I rejoice when the relationship ends. I have never been with a woman I told about my cross-dressing, but I believe my last two girlfriends would have been ok with it, considering they were both openly bisexual. However, they didn't work out because they both wanted to become far more serious than I did. Ideally it would be nice to find a life partner, but I am not willing to join the whole dating scene, which I loathe, in order to find a needle in a haystack. A girlfriend (lite-duty) who would be ok with it would be nice. However, I am also fine with being single and dressing to my heart's content.

[Wildaboutheels]

It's "just" a HOBBY for me.

Just like the vast majority of CDers on the planet which a simple Google search will easily and quickly confirm.

I choose to be single but the two are not mutually exclusive. It has nothing to do with CDing. Women of all shapes, ages and mental attitudes are very easy to find on any Dating site. The real question is just how selective one is.

It IS possible to have a biscuit and the butter to go on it, as many here can/do attest to.

For MOST CDers, a partner that "knows" is NOT a necessity. It certainly isn't something I "must" share. Or need to share.

A tip of the hat to the housekeepers here.