Had my 1st date as Traci

[Traci-nc]

My wife and I are taking a break right now. Not sure if its just a break or if its over with. But that's a story for a different day. I hadn't dressed for a while and I had never done my own makeup or even pick out my own clothes. I always had my wife to help me with all of these. I cant match colors ever even tell what clothes go together. I swear If they made garanimals clothing for adults I would buy them.
Back to the story I had one makeup lesson from my wife and I had decided to meet someone for diner. In true girly fashion I tried on just about every piece of clothing in my closet, and cursed my wife for borrowing a sweater and not returning it. So after about 1 hour of trying to get dressed and figuring out how to use what product in what order with whatever brush and so on. I did the best I could with my five min lesson and my 1st time actually applying it. I thought well its getting dark out I guess its good enough. I still saw beard and blush and eye shadow were barley noticeable. Then I though hey maybe that's a more natural look. So I left it as is. I only poked myself in the eye about 6 times with the eyeliner pencil, and maybe 3 times with the mascara. Here I am dressed and ready to go out for the first time by myself. No backup, no support, just me. Driving, sure no problem, same thing with traffic lights. I've done this before I thought to myself. All is good in in my little bubble of a world. Meet my I guess you would call date. Nice enough, compliments me on how I look. Had a seat and had a little small talk then we were off to dinner. He did everything a gentleman should do. He held the doors open, took the lead and made me feel like a lady. Now here we are just pulled up to a very crowded restaurant, people are outside waiting, car pulling in and out. More activity than I have ever experienced while Traci. Now up until now I have been careful with how crowed a place was before I ever left the car. But I thought to myself hey I put some effort into this I might as well get out, walk in and try to have a good time. I open the car door and make sure I exit with caution as I am not sure I have mastered the exit without exposing ones self. We walk up to the front door past a group of maybe 8 people in one party and a couple of 2 and 4 person parties. Hostess says 2 and shows us to our table. I look around and I noticed something great. No one was gawking or starting, no pitchforks and torches. Waiter on the other hand I am not to sure what was going on with that guy. Now every time he came to the table he would say "are you guys ready" or "anything I can get you guys" I wanted to think that he said that to everybody and was not being a jerk. Still a bit uneasy I look around and listen with almost superhuman like hearing. But I heard nothing negative or see anything more than a quick glance. I though wow everyone's so drunk I pass. I know I don't and my mannerisms are a giveaway. But I am working on both. Food was good, company was ok, he couldn't really hear to well over the background noise. Also my voice is not passable either I would think, but in my head it sounds less than terrible. SO we finish our meal and by this time there is less of a crowed inside and you can see individual people. Still no odd looks or anything like that. Walk back to the car no issues there, now back at his place. Talked a little more but then I guess he though that buying dinner was buying me for the night. Now let me say I don't find men attractive , curious as to what it would feel like to be intimate but that's about it. I liked how feminine I felt having a date with a man and feeling special. I even kind of liked the fact that he was attracted to me. But being touched in any way other than a friendly hug was unnerving. I ended my night with a hug and a "We should do this again sometime" and by sometime I mean never again. I told my wife ill text her when I am on my way home. She did not know I was on a date and I told her what happened and boy did she laugh when I said how do you deal with unwanted advances and someone trying to group you. I said if you don't want me to touch you please tell me I don't want you to feel the way I just did. She laughed and said what do you expect they buy dinner but you have to pay someway. I did not think that was too funny, but I laughed anyway. I told her how I felt about guys and she said to be safe and always let her know when I leave the house and when I get home because she cares for me and worry's about me. So now she has the tracking info for my phone as peace of mind for when I go out. So tonight was a step in the right direction of becoming who I want to be. And a step to discovering that guys are disgusting. I kid there just not for me in anyway more than just friends.

[Beverley Sims]

Traci,
It's nice to experiment and see how the other half get on, I would like to think that you and your wife are just taking it easy for a while.
If she wasn't interested in you she would not take the interest she has. Think about it.

Women ARE the best thing since sliced bread was invented.

[Natasha V]

Wow you were really brave to put yourself in that predicament but you did achieve what you were looking for. Thanks for sharing your story, now let me share mine. A few years ago before discovering my inner feelings about crossdressing my wife and I were at a bar and grill eating and watching a game on the big screen tv they had there, Well after about 30 minutes a couple guys make conversation with us. Then one guy starts making passes at me and I totally freak out believing he was joking. Then he tells me that he is really interested in me saying i was hot and wanted a date at this point i told him no that I was with my wife and I was not gay. He persisted stating he would not take no for an answer, my wife and I walked out to the car but this guy decides to follow me out telling me he has fallen in love with me and he will take care of me to ask him for anything. This guy and his friend were acctually millionaires from a lottery win. I declined and told him no I did not feel anything but disgust. The feeling was so horrible. I still don't know what I did to turn him on like that instantly....

[bridget thronton]

Nice pics and a good post - thanks

[Brianna_H]

Great post. Thank you for sharing. I am finding that the fantasy of romance is much different from the reality. It's really good to get first hand experience. It has made me much less hung up about sex. I'm more relaxed and willing to just let it be, rather than trying to live the fantasy.

[Kate Simmons]

Not all guys are disgusting Hon. Hopefully next time you will go out with a nice gentleman. I'm happy you had that experience.:battingeyelashes::)

[Traci-nc]

I think the biggest part was that I felt guilty about going out with someone. I told her this morning that I felt like that and she understood. I will probably talk to her again about the whole thing since I feel terrible about it.

[~Joanne~]

Waiter on the other hand I am not to sure what was going on with that guy. Now every time he came to the table he would say "are you guys ready" or "anything I can get you guys" I wanted to think that he said that to everybody and was not being a jerk.

I wouldn't read too much into that really. I do the same thing at my job and the women are clearly genetic. I have tried to stop saying that but I just can't seem to break the habit. Then again if the attitude behind it was really cocky and he was being an ass then maybe.

I am sorry to hear about You and your wife, you didn't go into to much detail as to why your both "taking a break" but I hope it works out for you. You looked great in the pictures so I don't think you need any matching tools lol

[sherri]

I think you made the right decision not to date any more til you get this all sorted out. Your date is prolly still scratching his head over it all. :-)

[Lorileah]

I think the biggest part was that I felt guilty about going out with someone.
Probably, but may I add a couple things because I have traveled that road. First it is very unfair for you to date anyone when you have no interest in them. You took the guy's time that he could have used to have a date with someone who might want to be with him. If you don't like men, you aren't attracted to man...don't date them just because you are curious. Up until the taking you to his place (another mistake you made) he seemed like he was a gentleman. Ground rules are important. I feel badly for him because you did go out on false pretenses. I don't care that you went out with a guy as a woman. That is what happens but you basically led him on. You are lucky you didn't get hurt in any manner.

Going out with anyone is scary. I am more nervous with someone than alone. So I get your fear. But now you know, it isn't a big deal. I assume you had your wife's blessing on this. Maybe she knew you would be confused and sacred and wanted you to have a wake up call. Everything is not all roses when you are out as a woman. You learned that.

My point would be, if you are not in ANY manner attracted to men...don't go out with them. You are playing a dangerous game. You are presenting as something you aren't (and I don't mean clothingwise). People go on dates to see if they want to be with someone on a longer term. You played this guy. I hope he isn't too upset but you made an impression on him...and not a positive one. Teasing is one thing, outright fraud is another.

And people wonder why crossdressers aren't accepted

[AletaHawk]

I have to agree with Lorileah. You're very lucky he was understanding. At least this is a lesson for the future though - you'll know to be up front about the situation ahead of time.

[Andy66]

You look very nice. I wouldnt worry about the waiter. Ive heard many of them refer to mixed groups as you guys.

[heatherdress]

Sorting out your relationship with your wife is more important than going on confused dates with men you are not attracted to. If you are "taking a break" , it is weird that you would start dating men and then calling your wife asking her advice. Really seems unusual and foolish. Seems like you may be hurting others' feelings and using them. I wish you luck and hope you figure out what you are doing.

[Maria 60]

Well my wife's favourite saying is " you men are so lucky you don't have to live dealing with your selfs " didn't really understand that saying until reading about your date. Sounds like you had a good time, with the exception of the advances.

[Traci-nc]

Truth is in my mind I knew things were over and that she's not coming back. My heart on the other hand wanted to hang on. She told me to go be myself and try to find happiness. Not really knowing myself what would make me happy I figured I would try and find out. I didn't really think what I did was wrong, but I can see now that it was.

[Andy66]

Sounds to me that you didnt intend to hurt or use anyone. Maybe you were just trying to figure something out about yourself, and it didnt turn out as well as you had hoped. The good news is that you learned some things. Who here hasnt had a dating or sex situation that didnt turn out as well as they had hoped?

[CostaRicaRachel]

I kind of agree with Lorileah. Right now, I am completely confused sexually. I really don't know
who I am attracted to. I don't see any harm in dating a man if you are just exploring yourself
sexually. Of course, if you are sure you don't like me, then I agree, you should not date them.

I have a question for Traci, where did you meet him?

[BillieAnneJean]

I have absolutely NO interest in guys. To be more precise, I have absolutely NO interest in ANYONE but my SO. When you find your soulmate, that person is all you need. But I crossdress. Crossdressing seems to be a broad spectrum behavior or whatever you want to call it. I just do it for fun. But I have been propositioned by guys. Because I would NEVER ever cheat, even more because my SO represents everything desirable to me, any guy, any other CDer, any other GG just can't compete. My reason for posting this is because some of the SOs troll these threads looking for information and hope. Or "answers". Confronted with a husband who is doing something totally unlike anything the SO ever expected, maybe getting dolled up and appearing to the SO as being "on the prowl", maybe some SOs will think that their CDer, maybe even fear that her CDer like all CDers (imaginary), is headed down this road. But that is not the case. He may be doing it just for the crossdressing, not to "hook up" with guys.

There are people in this forum who are going to or have changed genders.
There are people who desire fulfillment through sexual encounters or fulfillment through the potential of sexual advances.
Some are validated by the responses of others.
Some want to live life in a different gender than their birth gender.
And then there are the mundane ones like me who just do it for fun.
The beauty of the human race is the incredible diversity.

If you are worried about your SO and what this means to that person, the best way to find out is to talk it out in a calm, unemotional manner.

For me this is SUCH FUN!

[Traci-nc]

I had met him online. We had chatted some online and on the phone. Really a great guy and was nice to get to know. He took me out with confidence and it really helped. I didn't feel like a oddity or anything like that. So I am grateful to him in that respect. I feel so much more comfortable with myself.



When you find your soulmate, that person is all you need If you are worried about your SO and what this means to that person, the best way to find out is to talk it out in a calm, unemotional manner.

I truly did when I met my wife. She had saved me from a really dark time in my life, and she know it. She also knows that she is all I ever needed or wanted. She just didn't want me to have to give up a part of myself for her. I had told her that she is worth it. I have talked to her everyday about how I feel about her and the situation. I try and try to make things right but it only goes so far if only one person still wants it to work out.

[stacycoral]

Traci, girl first I would like to say I am glad your safe and you did not get hurt in any way. Second you look very pretty in your pictures. Be care with men, I know they are not all gentlemen. hugs.

[Tina_gm]

The most difficult thing my wife has ever said to me is that maybe she should leave so I can be the way I want to be as often as I can. For my wife, its not the feminine traits that bother her. It is the physical stuff.... dressing that she feels she cannot deal with. I feel heartsick whenever we start having a conversation like this, and we have had a few of them. I truly believe my wife would leave because of an unselfish desire for me to be happier by being able to dress more often. I on the other hand don't have a problem with not being dressed around her. She does know that I would also be fine dressing around her if she was ok with it. (early talks) At times I believe both my wife and I have had a feeling that we are making life difficult for the other. I sometimes feel selfish continuing to be with her. She feels the same at times. She also feels angry at times, scared at times, and content at times. Relationships are hard as they require at lot of sacrifice and compromise of any type. CDing is sacrifice and compromise on steroids.

If you really feel it is over, talking to her about your time on a date with a guy and being dressed is likely hurting her, she just isn't showing it. If it is over, then make it be over. What you are doing is only further reinforcing her feelings of why it is best for her not to be married or with you anymore. You say you try and try.... It doesn't sound as if you are trying very hard by going on dates.

[Traci-nc]

She told me to go find someone that can make me happy and can accept me for who I am. She still wants to be my friend so I am trying to change our relationship from spouse to friends. She's living with an other guy now. So it's not like either one of us are trying to hurt each other. In reality it does hurt, it hurts her and it hurts me. We are staying married for logistical reasons but it's broken and she has said that there is nothing I can do to fix it. She blames herself and I blame myself. She knows I'd do anything for her but she said she just wants me to be true to myself. She also knows that no matter what I'd take her back.

[Stephanie Julianna]

You are in an area that can get very sticky. I had a cross dresser admirer boyfriend for 30 years. We went to CD venues and events together because he wanted to go with someone who could pass and we were actually friends with the same sense of humor, likes and dislikes. I guess you could say we were best buds. He would have dressed if he could have but physically it would never have worked. So he lived vicariously through me and we had a great time. Yes we did kiss some times but we were almost like a married couple without the little bit of sex that happens. My wife was aware of the times we went out since I explained what we were all about. I never mentioned the kissing but she is no dummy. Your wife sounds incredibly understanding but there is only so much a woman can take before she starts doubting her own femininity. If this date convinced you that men are off the table. Good. let her know and stick to going out with other TV's or find yourself someone like my old boyfriend. By the way, we did not stop being friends. He succumbed to cancer. He was a true friend. When I went through periods of wondering if I should transition he always reminded me of my love for my wife and kids. That's a real friend because I know that he would have married me in a heartbeat if I was available. Real friends are like that. They put their friends first. Your wife sounds like a real friend.

[Traci-nc]

Yes she is. She was and still is my best friend.

[ReineD]

She told me to go find someone that can make me happy and can accept me for who I am. She still wants to be my friend so I am trying to change our relationship from spouse to friends. She's living with an other guy now. So it's not like either one of us are trying to hurt each other. In reality it does hurt, it hurts her and it hurts me. We are staying married for logistical reasons but it's broken and she has said that there is nothing I can do to fix it. She blames herself and I blame myself. She knows I'd do anything for her but she said she just wants me to be true to myself. She also knows that no matter what I'd take her back.

I'm so sorry about this. :sad:

A few things about your other posts:

You jokingly mentioned Garanimals. Usually, designers will put out a seasonal clothing line with several pieces that all go together, and department stores will display these clothes near one another, in specific sections sorted by designer name for example, Macy's "Liz Claiborne", "Jones New York", or even their own internal line "Inc". You'll find that the skirts go with the tops and jackets, etc.

Second, I agree with Lori. If you go out with a guy and you have no intention of having sex, you should pay for your own dinner. But it is my experience that men who take out women they don't know and aren't already friends with, aren't initially interested in just being friends. They want sex.

Third, Stephanie just above me brings up a great point, that I have read many times on threads like these: often, CD-Admirers want to dress but feel they can't so they live vicariously through their CD dates.

But, I do disagree with Stephanie's point that wives eventually start doubting their own femininity when married to CDers who want to experience feeling feminine with men. That's not it at all. We know we are women, we know we are feminine, and nothing will change that. We know that we can attract other men. Rather, wives get turned off big time when they begin to determine that their husbands want to attract or be attractive to men. Even if the husband is not a CD, but instead realizes he is a latent homosexual, this will turn off a wife who understandably wants to be married to a husband who is interested in other women, specifically HER! In other words, the turn off is more about which sex the wife perceives her husband is wanting to attract, more than how the husband looks. The other aspect is, some wives do get turned off with just the feminine appearance in her husband, even if he isn't trying to attract men. The underlying feeling is that if the husband wants to be attractive to his heterosexual wife, then why on earth would he dress to emulate a sex that she, being hetero, is not at all interested in. So even though the husband may say he is attracted to the wife, his presentation contradicts his words. If this makes sense.

[Shelly Preston]

I was chatting to a male friend the other night about this subject. He was saying that knowing the limits before you meet can be a big advantage. He also feels taking things too far can ruin a great friendship.

The guy needs to know your intentions especially if you have time to tell him before you meet.
If he just wants some company because he is lonely you could have a great time. If he wants more then you have to decide if you want to meet.

[Lorileah]

Traci it wasn't "wrong" so much as unfair. The man probably had some expectations as far as a relationship (I would hope he wasn't just out to get laid). When you say you have ZERO desire to be intimate with a guy and yet you take them up on a date (assuming you didn't say "Hey this is just dinner") you have in reality wasted his evening. It is teh same I say with CD who keep it from the wife.

I am an optimist and I would hold hope that your wife will work through her fears and issues and maybe get back? Things have changed now and they will never be the same again. Personally, I know there are men out there who want nothing more than a dinner date...so maybe, if that is important to you (and I also know it is an image or right of passage you thought all TGs had to go through.). One hurdle you need to cross is that just because you present as a woman doesn't mean you have to be attached to a guy

[Lisa760]

Hi Tracy
I feel for you I have been in your exact situation, my wife at the time found out about about me because of some pictures I mistakenly left on my computer. At first she was ok with it we even went shopping together we went out and had fun but things were never the same from then on I wanted to go out more often dressed up which probably made her feel inadequate. I soon found out she was seeing another man she said it was because she didn't think of me as a man anymore she felt I was gay or bisexual, she could see the excitement I got when I was mistaken for a women when guys hit on me or when someone called me miss. She was right I did start becoming a little curious I would start asking her questions about being a women or how it felt to be with a guy? She soon thereafter moved out.
We'll needless to say we split up although we remained good friends till this day she says I lost her to cross dressing and I needed to find someone who I could relate with she wanted a man not a hybrid. ( insert sigh)!

I too have been out on dates and by your story I could tell you are curious, there is nothing wrong with it but make sure you know what your getting yourself into, out of the two guys I have been out on dates with both wanted sex at the end of the night only one got lucky! He he! What I was curious! The other was very mad I would not have sex with him I kinda don't blame him and I have to say I kinda led him on and changed my mind at the end. things could of turned out dangerous for me, I felt very guilty in doing what I did but I learned what all girls learn early on guys can be creeps! But there are some nice gentleman out there I'm still looking for mine. Have fun out there just be careful and most of all be safe.

[ReineD]

I wanted to go out more often dressed up which probably made her feel inadequate.

No it didn't. It just turned her off because she, as a hetero female, is not attracted to people who look like women.



I soon found out she was seeing another man she said it was because she didn't think of me as a man anymore she felt I was gay or bisexual, she could see the excitement I got when I was mistaken for a women when guys hit on me or when someone called me miss.

Case in point.

[Lisa760]

Who said she was completely hetero?

[ReineD]

Ok then, predominately hetero? :)

She was with you before, when she knew you as a male, and after you she went with another male. You didn't say anything about your wife having been in relationships with women.

But this is beside the point, which is that the reason your wife got turned off was not because the crossdressing made her feel inadequate as a female. She did, in fact, go on to have a relationship as a female with another guy.

[Tracii G]

Traci at least she is giving you room to figure out things not many wives would do that.

I have dated a few guys and I have been lucky not to pick a real jerk.
It did help me gain confidence in going out among people in busy settings.
If I were to meet the right guy and he could accept both sides of me I wouldn't mind.

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

I think if I were much younger and easily passable, and not attached in any way, I would like to date men as a woman. I think all of the getting ready and not taking the lead, and my submissiveness would have been great with a nice strong man at my side making me feel like a woman. What does that say about me??? As I look back and have dated many women, I just didn't feel right. I think I envied them that they were dressed nicely going on a date and I had to provide the entertainment. If I were younger and passable dating a man today I think I'd want to be upfront having him know the person he was dating. It would be better for him to know me and what to expect and what the limits are without any deception. With today's internet dating it would be easier to screen prospective dates. If I knew then what I know now, and if dating experiences were all that I expected as a woman, I'd be rushing off to start transition and to hell with what anyone said, thought, or did. It's very painful to think at my age of 61 I didn't have the opportunities the young have today.

Today, I'd just like to blend as a woman without any sexual or dating element and just do what all women usually do like shopping or getting their errands and hair done.

On the other hand, I love my wife and life partner even though today we have a non-sexual relationship and simply enjoy other parts of our lives. She has no sexual interest and neither do I. We're two women living together with some simple intimacy and we like it that way. I think if I had a very understanding guy friend who might be interested and had a desire for a CD, I'd maybe enjoy a deeper relationship with my friend.

Many years ago I had such a friend who has since transitioned. My wife knew we were very close friends and accepted the fact that we'd be alone in my house overnight while she was away on a family event. We still have a nice loving relationship except today we can't repeat what we did back then. <wink!>

Cheryl

[sherri]

Lorileah pretty much nailed it. I posted something similar then chickened out and edited it. Anyway, I want to add that nice guys with the courage to go out in public on a real date with a cd don't grow on trees, lemme tell ya, so Traci, if you talk to him again, after you apologize, please tell him that not all of us are so conflicted or confused about what we want. Tell him to keep trying cuz there are plenty of us who would welcome his attention ... and if he's real nice, he might just get lucky! ;-)

[Traci-nc]

Your right there aren't many men that would do that . Trust me I am grateful that he did as it was a big boost to my self confidence. But how many times have gg gone out with someone with hopes of feeling something and at the end of the night just say this guys not for me. Should we hold ourselves to a different standard than what we wish to emulate. I don't think so, And I cant think of a time when I took a woman out to dinner and they had to declare that this is dinner and nothing else. I am shocked by some of the reactions in this thread. I really didn't think I should have to prostitute myself for $12 worth of food. I am sure that wasn't the intentions of what's been said, and a lot of points that have been made are valid. But how do you know if your going to like something if you don't try it. Besides I liked his personality and how he made me feel. It was his anatomy that I wasn't a big fan of. Could that change? Could hrt change what I feel attracted to? The answer to both is maybe, and no one has the answers and sometimes you have to just get out there and figure it out.

[sherri]

I certainly wasn't suggesting you owed him any favors for dinner, nor do I think all guys expect sex just because they bought dinner, but you can't blame him for hoping for the spark of romance. It's why we date, right? And it sounds like he's pretty comfortable with his sexual orientation, so if you knew going in that you are not physically attracted to guys you should have made that clear up front, and you should not have gone to his house after dinner. Mixed signals, gurl. So yeah you played him a little bit, and then bashed men in general for making advances. That's prolly you drew some constructive criticism here.

You're really cute, btw. I don't blame the guy at all for hittin on ya. :-)

[Traci-nc]

Your right you cant blame him. A long running joke I had with my wife was I took her out to eat when we were working together way before we started dating or anything. I would say to her do you know how long I had to save to buy you that quesadilla, and I got nothing for it. Always made her laugh, especially since she had forgotten we even went out until I mentioned it to her. I can admit when I am wrong and I did learn from all this. Will I go out again with a guy, maybe. But ill make it clear its just as friends and not to expect anything. Thank you for the kind words it made me smile. Had not done to much of that today.

[Angie G]

I don't know what's going on with your wife bot she shounds like a very nice lady. Glad you enjoyed your date and keeping your good reptation.:hugs:
Angie

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

Traci, okay so she's living with another guy. Well, I guess she wants to be with a guy and we can't fault her for that. The nice part is that she wants to remain friends. And given that you could enjoy being great girl friends. With that, you also have a chance to explore your own identity to find what would fulfill your life. I presume you love being Traci as I love being Cheryl. Now that I think about it, you have an opportunity to explore who you really are. You might not be attracted to men right now but that could change. I can only suggest that you could live your life as a woman and enjoy dating to really find out where you are on the gender and orientation spectrum. Just be honest with the men you date. You could find the one who makes you glad to be a woman and if you decided to go further, then so be it!

You mentioned HRT. You could try that. I've heard stories of HRT causing one to make a shift in their sexual preferences. This might become another great opportunity.

I remember my wife being very honest with me saying that she would support me to find my true self and even date men. She even said that if I were to transition and even remarry that she would still love to be my friend and part of my life. I almost exploded with joy! I was so taken aback that all I could say is that I'd want her there for bridal gown fittings and have her be my maid of honor! That was several years ago.

Cheryl

[Traci-nc]

I am grateful that she does want to be my friend. No matter happens I know in my heart we will still be best friends and will never love another like the way we did. Am I still foolishly holding on? I am and it is making things harder than they have to be. She's truly been one of the most kind and loving person I have ever had in my life. She's taking a few minuets of her time after work to try to find me something a little more casual for my first support group meeting tomorrow. She already has plans for today and its not a lot of time that she can spend with me today, but she's doing it for me.

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

Well Traci, at least she loves you enough to be a very loving friend and not make a big issue or be vindictive in any way to explore your true identity. You may very well be TS. Only you can discover that. Who knows? Just be yourself! You may find that you would be a much better girl friend than a husband. She is allowing you to liberate who you truly are! You can still be great friends even if you divorce or separate! Not many can enjoy that and instead get raked over the hot coals.

Let's say you find yourself much happier realizing that you are really a woman. Nothing wrong with that once you were to fulfill the process. you don't necessarily have to follow the protocall to date or even get married or be in a relationship with a man. You tested dating. This first time didn't lead you to feel that is what you have to do.

If you're separated and feel it is right, then try again. I'm sure many young high shool girls have felt unsure themselves.

Just spend the time to discover yourself and get some counselling if you think it might help. In any event, you deserve an enjoying, successful, and satisfying life. Once you know who you are and feel confident and complete about yourself, the rest will fall into place. I wish you well and peace within!

Cheryl