The psychology behind venturing out, or simply why do we go out?

[Bima]

Recently I have ventured out dressed a couple of times, something which is new to me.
I have had this increased urge to go out, right among all people, but at the same time it scares the .... out of me.

Now, I could have been perfectly happy dressing up within my four walls, but something is driving me out.

But why is that, why do I want to go out? What can possibly be the psychology behind that behavior?
Surely, many of you may have experienced the same thing.

I'm looking for deeper answers than "that I just want to show the world the true me", or "Don't worry, just embrace it". Apart from the adrenalin rush, curiosity, interesting, fun, the challenge to pass (which I so far have not taken 110% seriously), minor excitement, I really don't understand my urge to go out. There is obviously no evolutionary value to it, hence the cause must be simpler than that, I suppose (?).

Any views or own experiences to share about this?

/Bima

[Kate Simmons]

The best way to find things that have a deeper meaning to you is to look inside yourself as everyone is different and has different motivations for doing what they do.:)

[Paula_56]

I believe it has to do with validation, you want to express the woman inside, and we are tired of feeling guilty and shameful. We want to be acknowledged. Look up Mazlows needs.

I go out and people respond positivity to my female image, it says "Paula you are a woman and that's ok!"

I especially like positive responses from other women, for me it's like being accepted into a sorority

[erickka]

My take may be a little different, but here goes...... Most of us spend good money, take ample time and great pride in "getting dressed", so why not put all of the time and effort to good use (going out) instead of just sitting within the same four walls? After all going out amongst the public IS a whole lot of fun!

[Teresa]

Bima,
I fully understand your question and wish for the life of me I could answer it !!
I felt the worse way to be seen was a guy in a dress but that's the way Iv'e been caught out when walking the dog ! Strangely it felt OK and I dealt with it ! I have a thread running at the moment about the wig making the difference, I would have probably dealt with being caught out in a different way but apart from driving out at night I haven't been able to carry it through !

[Marcelle]

Hi Bima,

I guess it really depends on what you derive out of it and the experience can be different for each person who ventures beyond the confines of their home. Some may be looking for validation . . . Hey it is not so bad out here and people accept me for who I am . . . this will most likely create a high (bit of an endorphin rush) which may spark the next time, followed by the next time and so on until the endorphin rush ceases to be the trigger and you are just out. Kind of like and opium addict of old "chasing the dragon" . . . if your first experience is a stellar one, you will want to repeat that feeling. So it is a bit of a mix of psychology and biology.

From my own experience, my first outing did not go well (confrontation with a potential for violence) so there was not endorphin rush (well some but in the wrong direction). However, Isha is part of my core identity (one of many I take on during the course of my day) so she needs to express herself in the world the same way my "military officer", "husband", "sporty guy" identities get to express themselves . . . in real time among the living. Supressing of an integral part of your identity can me emotionally draining and my head gets "busy" (not in a psychotic way) but more a "need to just be Isha" kind of way. I likened it once to my core identity being an orchestra hall and all my male identities I take on populate the orchestra . . . Isha is the lone "girl string section" whose melodious tune bring order to music which can get chaotic from time to time.

Hugs

Isha

[deebra]

Bima your post fits me to a T also and I too would love to find the answer. If I did would that help me go out more or I wouldn't need to? Does this need come with being born a CD? Oh well, I just sit here enjoying the feel of wearing my bra and forms, bikini panties and completely dressed as a woman.

[Krisi]

For me it's like acting a part and going out in public is part of the play. It's an attempt to find out how well I am doing. Do I pass? Do I "blend"?

Going out in public is a hump that my wife has a hard time accepting so I've only done it when she is out of town and I don't go out or come home dressed, I change in the vehicle away from home.

[Jaylyn]

I'm in the same boat as Bima but I am finding myself wanting to go out with other CDs and let them lead me thru the experience. I have been invited to a large city and to go out and have fun with other CDs but still I am hesitant. Just going out in public I guess in a group would be my security blanket. Just going out is not my cup of tea yet. I kinda like my four walls still.

[Rachael Leigh]

Bima this is a great question and for me I wish I had an answer because like you I get that urge and just want to go out and do it. Ive only been out twice but evey time Im fully dressed I want to go just do my normal things and not care what others say. I feel comfortable dressed so why not. I have a few reasons why I wont but thats for another discussion.

[Lynn Marie]

Going out is one thing, interacting with the general public on a semi-intimate level is quite another. Paula is right on the money about "getting over being guilty and shameful". You need to interact and get acceptance to understand being truly free to dress without that guilt and shame. Just going out with minimal human contact is more of a display rather than living the dream. My joy in going out is the talking and flirting with people, and I get extraordinarily positive responses. It's just so much fun! I highly recommend it.

[Wildaboutheels]

AoG for most folks here. It's obvious. Just plain ol' common Human Behavior and nothing else.

Alleviation of Guilt. Justification.

Watching NGC's Brain Games will easily clear your confusion.

"There is obviously no evolutionary value to it,..."

Survival of Homo Sapiens is a pretty good reason I think.

[Helen_Highwater]

I don't get the opportunity to go out that often but as to what drives me to do it I think it's in some way as others have said, you can only do so much within the house. I just want to be able to walk further than a few yards. Wearing a coat indoors is just plain silly. I'm not so brave or confident yet as to fully interact with the populous but being in a public space, presenting in the best way I can and hopefully coming some way to being Mrs Blendin, just someone out for a walk, and well it just feels good not to be constrained by 4 walls.

And yep, I guess I do want to walk a mile in those shoes.

[Beverley Sims]

I have never understood why I feel like a deer in the headlights or a birdon it'sfirst flight, even now....
It is exhilarating even today to step out and be someone I am not.

[Sarah Beth]

I've only really been out in a dress one time and that didn't turn ut so well. It's not that I haven't wanted to be, or thought about doing it a lot but there is that huge fear of the consequences factor about doing it. As to why I want to do it that's really such a hard thing to put my finger on. I can see this that on those occasions when I have been somewhere where I could venture out like around my yard at home or around the cabin in the mountains I feel so much more joy than hiding in the house. It's like a sort of freedom that I long for, not the being seen by someone else and being taken for a woman because I dont' see that happening, just something about being outside dressed that makes me feel better.

I think like some had said that there is some sense of validation to it. That sense that hey world here I am and this me. Bottom line I think different people do it for different reasons and have different feelings about it.

[Tracii G]

It is most certainly an evolutionary part of your dressing IMO.
When you think inside the box and assume you miss the answers.
Call it validation of your female persona in a way.
Most that say they are happy being confined to the four walls still say they wish they had the guts to head out into public as their female self.
Its a pretty natural progression and normal.

[Confucius]

I believe this is just part of the escalation phenomenon with crossdressing.
At first we think we'd be happy with just a couple articles of clothing. Then that isn't enough, and we need a wig, shoes, etc. Then that isn't enough and we need to look more and more feminine. Then that doesn't satisfy and we want others to accept our feminine side.

I think it is all part of the dopamine rush. When we do the same thing over and over then our brain releases less dopamine, therefore we need to take our crossdressing up another step to keep the level of dopamine levels high. Crossdressing out in public is just taking the nest step to keep our dopamine levels up.

[sherri]

The "why" is not much of a mystery to me, pretty simple really:

To socialize -- we are, after all, social creatures -- and to experience life more fully as a femme person.
As others have mentioned, to seek acceptance and validation.
To forge relationships, be they platonic or romantic.
And for a few of us, the excitement of exhibition and pushing boundaries.

[Jaymees22]

Yes I have had the urge to go out. I was going to a therapist and always went dressed, I've gone out other times. I went to a support group but dressed there. Now here's the strange part, I haven't had the urge or desire to go out in a few months. I still dress every chance I get but now feel quite happy to stay inside. So I think our urges come and go at least for me. Hugs Jaymee

[Cheryl T]

We are simply social beings and need the company and interaction with others.
Since we love this side of ourselves we naturally want others to love us also. I think that is a big motivator on the subconscious level.

[Adriana Moretti]

because sitting home alone gets boring??? i dunno thats a guess....and also the main reason I did....sitting home alone dressed gets boring after a while....to me anyway....when my best friend becomes a bottle of wine...it was time to time to get out and make some friends in the real world

[Nadine Spirit]

For me, I suppose that I wanted to stop hiding as proof that I did not think that I am doing anything wrong.

[Lisa X]

For me the initial motivation to go out was validation. I have been practicing being a women in the house for a long time and needed to go out and see if I can pull it off and "pass" in public. It is like playing in the big game finally after years of practice. As most of you know practice is nothing like the game, and you can only get better by playing in the game. By going out and learning from the experiences, I was able to grow and improve as Lisa. Now when I go out it is just something I enjoy doing. I have not gone to Target or the car wash in male mode in a long time. Also going out dressed makes cloth shopping much easier.

Take care,
Lisa

[sherri]

We are simply social beings and need the company and interaction with others.
Since we love this side of ourselves we naturally want others to love us also. I think that is a big motivator on the subconscious level.


because sitting home alone gets boring??? i dunno thats a guess....and also the main reason I did....sitting home alone dressed gets boring after a while....to me anyway....when my best friend becomes a bottle of wine...it was time to time to get out and make some friends in the real world

Exactly. What's harder for me to understand is why anyone would go to all this trouble and not go out. :-P

[Stephanie47]

The times I have ventured out en femme was just to take a stroll and feel the gentle breeze caress my stocking covered legs, the wind frolicking with my dress and slip. Except for Halloween I have never gone out with the intent of interacting with other people. Cross dressing brings me peace and serenity. That's sufficient for me. Now, if I looked like some of the very younger, very attractive women on this site, I'd venture out more.

[LelaK]

I like to avoid trouble most of the time, so I don't have interest in going out in public. I only have interest in being seen by those who are likely to be accepting.

Do they make a dress or skirt for private that can turn into men's pants or shorts in public?

[grace7777]

Back in 2011, I felt that same desire, the desire to go out dressed beyond the cofines of my apartment. At first I would go.out of town, and it would be to a gay or CD bar. Then I got tired of bars and started going to movies. Over the years the desire to present as a woman has grown stronger and stronger.

Nowadays I am going out presenting as a woman as much as possible. Outside of work I find myself mostly out enfemme. What I am finding out is that it is more than the clothes, that I have a strong feminine side in me. As to whether I will do HRT, I am not sure.

If the desire is there to go out in public, then do it. Now how far you will peruse going out enfemme, only you can determine that. Some people are satisfied to go out once a month or once every few months. Others find the desire much stronger and need to go out more often. Counseling is something you may want to consider if you want to understand your desires better.

[kkaye]

Hello:
With me, I pursue the same comfort going out as either man or woman. As Kkaye, I am concerned about situations like come on's or detailed situations where, I will have a dialog with someone, i.e. conversation etc. Other than that, I feel great being able to walk downtown or through a mall in a day out so long as, I don't have to deal with others.