I tested the waters, again

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

In about a week I have another consultation about getting breast implants. Tonight my wife and I talked again about the practical side of it. She agrees that I will feel better about myself if that's what I need. She only wants me to be happy and doesn't care what anyone might think. She has also spoken with my counciler who has also made her recommendation on my behalf. i'm still scared about it. My wife can get the time off to bring me for outpatient surgery and I can go it alone with about a two week recovery time. I've also mentioned that I am not fully TS. I just need to feel better about myself.

I figure if I'm going to do it, I will go as far as a D-cup. I already am a B due to gyno and they do show. No complaints here! My GG friends have also encouraged me.

Today a long-time male friend called. We talked about many things which led to a discussion about meds we are taking. He's in somewhat of a similar situation with meds. I decided to say that some that I am on have caused gyno. I also had a laugh with him. I stretched the truth and said that one med has caused gyno. then I said that my wife and I had a laugh when I tried on one of her bras and it fit perfectly! He laughed. I told him I could have them removed but I can live wih them. He agreed and just sid "Don't wear a bra to Walmart."

So I tested the waters. My wife laughed when I told her about this conversation. She even said we'll have to go shopping for new bras and maybe other things. LOL! I told her she could have my old ones!:battingeyelashes:

Cheryl

[monalisa]

I can imagine it is both exciting and scary. They can always be removed if you don't like them so it is not permanent. Just try them for 6 months or a year and then make the final decision. I would love to do it too but have to deal with public exposure too much and could not deal with the comments and stares when I wasn't fully dressed.

[Angie G]

You go girl.:hugs:
Angie

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

I've been wearing forms for a couple months and have had no problems. I'm not that much out in public and wherever I've been, no one seems to care or notice. Now that winter is coming I hardly think anyone would really notice with my outerwear. I'll have to wear a bra for a few weeks until they settle according to the surgeon after my first consult. She did assure me that a few others in my area have done the same. I know I can have them removed. But once I have them, I don't want to lose a part of me. All my life I've felt shortchanged that I don't have boobs.

Cheryl

[Leahann]

Keep us posted on how it goes Cheryl, please.

[lingerieLiz]

A repost? You say you are a B cup so do you wear bras full time now? I'm a natural 36C and can tell you people notice even when I wear a minimizer. I wear women's cloths most of the time, casual jeans and blouses for the most part, but I don't try to pass or look like a woman. I can tell you that people notice and talk to my chest. With a D cup there is no hiding it. I don't know what type of body shape you have, but I'm not overweight so I do have projection.

[Beverley Sims]

Cheryl,
If they bring peace within have the operation.

[Teresa]

LingerieLiz,
Iv'e had the same thing happen several times when I've worn a 36B wonderbra ! One of them was a policeman!

Cherly I hope everything goes well for you, I agree with you that once you've gone that far why take a step back and have them removed !
My concern would be would I want to take further steps ??

[charlenesomeone]

Large shirts and thighs shirts could hide smaller sizes, but "D" would show.
If that's ok, go girl. I have trouble just hiding a bra. LOL.
Char

[Rhonda Darling]

Cheryl:

It will help us (me, at least) to better understand you, your body type, your living and working arrangements, and how what you're planning to do will work in the practical world, etc., if you would share more basic details about yourself and/or post a photo or two. I know that if I have even my smallest breast enhancers on, I show boobs in most clothes, and am self conscious if in guy/drab mode. A "D" cup will be very noticeable unless you have a well rounded body type. I would love to be able to do what you're planning, so please keep us updated on your progress.

Good luck and best regards,
Rhonda

[MsVal]

You may not fully appreciate how difficult the surgery can be. Donna wrote about her experience in http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?218670-I-have-boobs!!

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

Without quoting everyone here I'm going to try to answer many questions.

I have followed Donna's experiences and can understand how much pain and details there may be. The surgeon advised me mostly the same in my first meeting. My wife was with me so she could also understand what's involved. At that first meeting I brought my forms and a bra to try. I'm already a B but the forms brought me to a C which she said I should wear on a daily basis and in public to gauge any reaction for my comfort levels. In the past I've gone out wearing a B cup bra with no problem or anyone staring at my chest or making comments behind my back. I've done that in front of family and friends who don't know me.

I have found that by wearing oversize shirts and sweats that they hardly show. And with a C cup there is hardly any difference for me. I will, after the next consult discuss or even bring with me a new D cup bra and add some fillets and get the doctor's opinion, and maybe do another test with that, and then decide from there. I know she has implants to take and try but we'll see after we talk. I know summer clothing would change the way I'd hide them or just let them hang out without a bra when I go out. But I could also wear summer clothes when I have friends or family visit and see what the reaction might be. I'm not rushing this. And once I have them, I don't want to have any regrets unless it was medically necessary to remove them.

As far as my physique, I'm 6'2" and weigh about 210#. I have a broad chest and shoulders. As it is, most of my weight is in my stomach and I actually look about 8 months pregnant. I'd love to start getting rid of that. I actually wear stretch waist women's jeans all the time. When I have to go out, I wear a baggy T-shirt. At home I wear maternity tops which I really enjoy. That's probably why my breasts don't show so much.

I'm 61 and retired. I don't go out much except for occasional shopping or to get the mail or gas, or have my vehicle serviced. My hair stylist didn't even realize my chest until I told her that I brought myself up to a C cup. She's telling me to go for it and not worry what people think. Everyone I've encountered has not been a problem. I'll spend time talking with our postmaster or whoever comes along. The surgeon even assured my wife that there are quite a few men who have done the procedure without a problem. I'll say again that if someone did say something, which I doubt they will, I can always fire back that it's caused by my meds and make them feel stupid for asking.

I will say again that I'm taking it slow and testing. My counciler and I have gone around a lot about this. She made me realize several things. It's my body to do as I wish and to take control. Men and women come in many shapes and sizes. Many men are effeminate. Many men and women are dis-proportinate. She herself has seen men who should probably wear a bra. And she asked me if my happiness should be diminished at the expense of what others might think or say. I'm not living for them. Those people should probably be looking in a mirror to see themselves as they are, inside and out. That's what i've learned from my counciler.

What really hit me was her statement that went something like this: We tend to manufacture our own fears based on what others think of us when in fact they could probably care less, and we become our own worst enemy. Do you want to regret missing an opportunity to be happy and content? I also meant to add another thing she told me. She said that any situations in life are filled with compromises whether it's a divorce, work situation, family relationships, etc. We have to make the best of what we have and how we can adjust.

Cheryl

[jackielou]

hello cheryl ann if you and your wife are satisfied with your choice to have breast implants then DO IT,life is to short to be unhappy ,i wanted implants many years ago and my then wife agreed until i was in the surgeons office looking at breast shape then she backed out so i already had gynecomastia and a c cup i decided i would grow my own i am now very happy wit a very full DDD F/G in some bras and i dont flaunt them or try to hide them i wear a bra full time and t shirts when i want ,i am 6ft 3 280 have never had a problem while growing my breast i wore a bra at work for years now retired i have been professionally fitted with no problem there is a lady at walmart that gives me a hug every time she sees me and helps fit me in my bras she will pick out what she likes in my size for me to try on and give me her opinion,so be happy have your implants and you and your wife enjoy them ,i love mine dont make the mistake of going to small for your frame you could go larger than a D

cheryl you should get a set of D cup forms and a bra to fit and start wearing it now so it want be a shock to family and friends who see you later i have found it is important to always look the same in the breast dept and soon people will assume they are natural we men do have gynecomastia as i do and wear a good bra 24/7 projection or roundmoulded cup but always breast

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

Hi jackielou! I got your nice private message and I'm glad you shared some things with me and I shared some personal things back so you'll understand.

I have to comment that while we were exposed to many situations and people it would have been difficult to fulfill our dreams. I think like me, you have no problem just doing what is right for you. For many years I was a regular CD but now wish to realize the dream in the best ways I can. I hope other CDers can find peace with themselves if it's more than just a hobby, but one where they can enjoy more of an identity and be at peace. Back when I was in the workforce I worried if someone detected anything about me because it could mean my job and income which were paramount to living well. Today it doesn't matter. If friends reject me then they were never really friends to begin with. I have my circle of friends and family who know and that's all that matters.

Cheryl

[Lady Catherine]

Cheryl. This is something I have been considering. I've talked to my wife but not had a consult. I'm very interested in your experiences and everything after if you go through with it. Good luck.

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

Catherine, I will keep everyone informed because, believe it or not, there are MANY of us who have gotten implants. Today it's really no big deal! We don't have to be TS to at least enjoy feeling better and more congruent about ourselves. It's not like the old days of the the gatekeeper where it's all-or-nothng.

I have heard from quite a few people who have had it done. I've gotten a lot of great feedback in private messages about what to expect and how it has changed their lives for the better.

Always remember that there will be plastic surgeons who like to make money. I'd say the majority are very reputable since mine started to serve people like us well over a year ago. She likes happy clients!

Also remember the day and age we live in. After wearing forms and a bra without any repercussions in public it just doesn't matter if my boobs (even if forms) stand out. I don't mind if I can't take them off! It'll be easier once they heal. LOL!

Cheryl

[sandra-leigh]

You say you are a B cup so do you wear bras full time now? I'm a natural 36C and can tell you people notice even when I wear a minimizer. I wear women's cloths most of the time, casual jeans and blouses for the most part, but I don't try to pass or look like a woman. I can tell you that people notice and talk to my chest.

I am B cup in volume, due to HRT, but I have a wide chest so the protrusion is not much, less than 2 inches. I do not often wear bras. I have not yet had anyone "talk to my chest", not even when I wear stretch material.

My goal with implants is to get to a protrusion about the same as the width of my hand (4 fingers), which is also the width of the center of my forearm.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Cheryl Ann, I know that you have thought long and hard about this
and I'm sure that this is going to bring you much happiness.:daydreaming:

[Teresa]

Cheryl,
Please don't think I'm being rude it's not my lntention ! Has the consultant suggested you lose some weight before you have implants ? At your height and size I would have thought a larger implant would give you a better balance !

I'm only saying this because I'm 5' 7" weight 152 lbs and measure 37-31-37, carry no excess fat and my size is 36B when wearing a bra and no forms I get people talking to my chest ! With forms I probably end up at 36D !
From my statistics for you to balance surely you need to go larger ?

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

Teresa, No, I don't think you're being rude at all! Just practical. I wish I had your build. You bring up a valid point about balance and one I'll need to discuss with the surgeon. I'm willing to bet she'll want me to lose some weight first after I stood there shirtless for the first evaluation. As I said, I wear maternity tops and the forms don't make me look like a guy with boobs. Maybe that's why I don't get any stares.

Balance is important. I know I could end up with back problems if not done right. The surgeon told me she had one client relieve his back problems by getting implants, believe it or not. In a private message someone told me they had DDD's done to match their frame and physique.

Thanks for your thoughts. :)

Cheryl

[sandra-leigh]

"Balance" is tricky. There is physical size to consider, but there is also "presence", how much psychological space one takes up, how one "carries" oneself. Whether you a "big woman" or you are a "fat woman" can depend on personality. I am told by experienced fitters that I "need" a bigger bust to match my larger "presence". As in somewhere around DDDD cup (better known as G to the rest of the world.)

I don't know what surgeons will recommend. One calculation I ran through suggested that the maximum my body will hold is about 420 cc. My mental target size is 38DD (= 38E) or perhaps 38DDD (= 38F), with 38D being the absolute least I currently feel would be worth going though. But those targets take me into the 700-750 cc range, far above what my body might support.

[Kate T]

Balance is important. I know I could end up with back problems if not done right. The surgeon told me she had one client relieve his back problems by getting implants, believe it or not. In a private message someone told me they had DDD's done to match their frame and physique.

Believe it umm.... NOT. The idea that breast implants are going to biomechanically improve a back problem makes me seriously question the surgeons objectivity.

Look, you want them, get them. Get a decent experienced surgeon to do it and I wish you well. There was a thread a while ago about a member who had implants with the full blessing of his partner (a GG) and who ended up with significant regrets. I don't know how much counselling etc. they had before hand though.

One word of warning though. If you think it is a matter of "Oh, if it doesn't work out I'll just get them removed" think again. Putting them in is one thing, getting them out is a WHOLE other matter entirely. Scarring, excessive skin, muscular weakening are all not only possible but highly likely if you then decide to get them removed. Oh, and it is likely to cost you twice as much as getting them put in! So make damn sure you really want them in there.

[sandra-leigh]

Checking around, I find that implant removal in USA averages about $4000, and implants in USA averages about $6300.

These figures do not take into account any special work that might hypothetically be required for MTF, and also do not take into account under vs over muscle.