A question for the younger members ?

[Teresa]

A while ago I made a flippant remark about joining a member for coffee !
Afterwards I realised that I was talking to someone younger than my son ! It crossed my mind that the member may think someone twice their age was making some lewd suggestion !
The only time I think about my age is standing in front of the mirror shaving and hoping the process will take ten years off me, but it never does !

The subject has cropped up before about Cding making us feel and hopefully look younger !

My question is do younger members feel comfortable with exchanging comments with members who may be twice their age ?

I can possibly answer this myself because if they didn't like it they probably wouldn't stick around but it would be interesting to hear what they think !

[Nadine Spirit]

I am not quite half your age; I am 43. But I am comfortable with conversing with anyone of any age. It really makes no difference to me. IRL I have some friends that are ten years older and some that are ten years younger. I like when we all hang out, it really brings a diverse group of people together that can have fascinating conversations.

BTW - how exactly is remarking about joining a member for coffee a lewd suggestion? Oh wait, I get it, it is because for many members here, they dress for some sort of sexual excitement right? So one member suggesting to another member that they may want to meet is suggesting that maybe they want to get it on, huh? See, I get myself into trouble with sort of stuff. I am apparently a naive buffoon when it comes to this sexual innuendo stuff. When other say, hey lets meet, I am just like, oh okay, sure, that sounds like fun, and it never even occurs to me that they might mean something other than just having coffee. Hmm... odd world we live in.

[Zylia]

I'm 30, so not necessarily 'young', but quite a few members here and online contacts elsewhere are still about my father's age. Whether or not I would feel uncomfortable really depends on who's asking. Age gaps matter in any social context, but they're not de facto insurmountable. On the other hand, some guys/CDs on the internet really get a bit too friendly and overly complementary. I can deal with with some unsolicited attention, it's mostly fantasy anyway, but just the pure thought that someone as old as my dad would dress up and would start making passes at people my age and younger kind of creeps me out.

But seriously, you can't compare the population of this forum with the online cross-dressing community at large.

[taylormercedes]

I guess it would have to depend on the people talking themselves. I agree that the age difference is a big factor when talking in person with other crossdressers; but that is the same with just talking with other people. The closer people are in age the tendency is that they'll have more in common so it's easier to talk, I know it's like that with myself. I don't know if it's this "sexual component" that Nadine mentioned that is making younger people feel uncomfortable, it certainly can be, but I just think it's easier to talk to and by consequence be more comfortable with someone closer your own age l, especially when someone is a younger crossdresser.

[JessMe]

I'm 31, so I'm not sure if I'm exactly in the category you meant or not, but here's my take. Most, but not all of my friends fall into roughly the same demographic/age group as myself, but I have many friends and acquaintances (here and in my daily life) that are either a little younger than me or a bit older. As far as a simple coffee with a friend goes, I see no reason why age really does or should matter at all. There are people who would take advantage of the situation, but I know the difference between a cup of coffee and "heyyy, you sure are looking good... how about I buy you a shot?" ;-)

[reb.femme]

......."heyyy, you sure are looking good... how about I buy you a shot?" ;-)
OK then....ah damn...took it out of context.

I'm with Jess in that we know the difference, but I would also presume that many of us have experienced the "being taken out of context" in the real world. I've said something totally innocuous to another only to have to explain that what I meant was not what they understood. Unfortunately, the written word doesn't convey the intent of a phrase when not accompanied by a facial expression. In face to face conversation, facial expression and body language are major components in our communications, which we often forget when texting......or is that sexting for that coffee meet? :heehee:

So is anyone else up for it? ......a coffee that is.....minds out of the gutter now!

Rebecca

[paulaprimo]

acting 20 for 40 years now you do bring up a good point that i never even considered.
i do communicate and have even met some younger members from this site.
when i say coffee, i do mean coffee and nothing else. those that know me, know that i
am a dunkin donut coffee addict...
but thank you for opening my eyes as i never even considered someone might take it the wrong way. :)

[katlee]

I have communicated and would be up to talking to fellow members from this community. As long as talks are supportive and respectful, I am all for it.

PS I am 28.

[Vala]

In my opinion age difference doesn't matter when chatting to someone or sharing a hot beverage. It comes comes down to personality and interests.

[Teresa]

I'm going to thank you all for replies !

To put it context if my son said dad are coming for a beer, I wouldn't pass it up even if most of his mates were there, age sometimes brings more humour ! They either laugh with you over some old stories or they laugh at you for making a fool of yourself !

I never had any problems during my thirty years of photgraphy, you can have fun with any age group ! Without appearing creepy !

[tictac43]

I'm 27 and still pretty new to crossdressing but I really appreciate any input I get from all members. Truthfully I relate more to the members closer to my age which I think is no surprise. Sometimes it's a little hard to be on the same page as someone who has been dressing for much longer than me. But I haven't felt uncomfortable!

[Aubrey Skye]

Being 23, I honestly have no problems talking with someone older on here. They have wisdom and experience which can be very helpful! Now there are some areas where the age gap could make things weird, but I don't think its anything to worry about! As long as they are friendly and nice I have no issues!

[Nadya]

I'm 27 and still pretty new to crossdressing but I really appreciate any input I get from all members. Truthfully I relate more to the members closer to my age which I think is no surprise. Sometimes it's a little hard to be on the same page as someone who has been dressing for much longer than me. But I haven't felt uncomfortable!

I Agree. While I'm 30 years old, I don't mind talking to anyone as long as it's friendly, not creepy. Sometimes, there might be a gap when it comes certain dilemmas (e.g. children) but I always try to stay empathetic.

[carahawkwind]

One thing I've learned from reading the older members post here is that they've largely had much more difficult situations that mine, yet here they are and they've gotten through, it helps me stay positive about things, so I appreciate being able to see that point of view.

[Teresa]

Carahawkwind,
CDing doesn't have an age barrier, thanks for looking at it in that way !
One of the things that may be scary to younger members is you never grow out of it ! Even at my age it hadn't sunk in to me till I joined this forum that it's for life ! You may think you can purge it away but it's still there !

[natcrys]

I'm definitely not the youngest.. but I've never cared about age. One of my best CD-girlfriends is around retirement age.. and has been that for over 7 years. :)

[Jenny Miller]

I'm 22 and I don't have a problem talking to any member here. I'm pretty new at dressing still, so getting to talk to people with experience could be and is very helpful. As long as they are friendly, I don't see any problem with an age difference :)

[Dana M]

I am use to talking with people of all ages. Part of that comes with the type of work I do. I can understand where there could be misunderstandings on meanings for some, but for me It's about learning from people no matter what their age is. You can learn something new from anybody.

[jennifer easton]

well, I'm 64 and have no trouble talking to younger girls, or older one as far as that go's because in my mind I'm 19 have been all my life some day I may grow up, but I doudt it, they say your as old as you feel, I to feel we can learn something new from us all, and enjoy all of my friends young and lets say with a little more exsperience than I so who's up for a cup of joe ? xoxoxox Jenni

[Karolyn]

I'm 33 and just joined here. I absolutely don't mind talking to anyone any age. It is actually very interesting getting feedback from older people, as they have much more experience in life, and it helps when reading the forum to know sometimes what to expect later. It is educational. Everyone here seems to be friendly, so no problem. I guess it would the same IRL, but I have not met another crossdresser yet.

[Eryn]

I'm only 57 and don't mind at all if the older folks ask me out for coffee.

Younger folks either. :)

[Yoshisaur]

I'm 20 years old, but I don't mind talking to an older CDer. In fact it can be a very enlightening experience to hear what they have to say and learn from them. I wouldn't mind going out for coffee with someone either.

[PaulaQ]

A while ago I made a flippant remark about joining a member for coffee !
Afterwards I realised that I was talking to someone younger than my son ! It crossed my mind that the member may think someone twice their age was making some lewd suggestion !


Nobody young is likely to take your suggestion of meeting for coffee as being lewd. If you want to avoid being seen as lewd, avoid language such as the following:
"Do you host?"
"Looking to PnP!"
"Are you versatile?"
Also, avoid sending photos of yourself in lingerie, your private parts, etc.

The great thing (and also the awful thing) about the internet is that people who are looking for sex are really direct about it.

[angelfire]

My social circles have often been made up of those 5+ years older than me. The field in which I work, I am also the youngest in my departments (current, and old department) by 5 years (The next youngest is 10 years older than me). So for me, I am used to dealing with people older than myself, and I get along well with older folks. I am currently 28, but that has been the way I have been for the last 10 years or so. Even in highschool, I used to game with people who were around 30.

Ultimately age is just a number. But people who are older have been through a lot more than we have at a younger age. We catch up, but they are still a wealth of knowledge and life lessons, both in this area and others, and if we listen, we can learn a lot about ourselves, and the world.

[Michelle 78]

I'm 36 and I respect the older girls on here as others have said they have more experience than me, we're all in this together at the end of the day

[meganmartin]

I first had to determine your age because you look younger.

But I am only 46 and find that I don't have issues talking, helping or hanging out with others regardless of age.
However I find I am most comfortable with people around my age or older.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Teresa, I'm almost ten years older that you and I've been in this program for almost 68yrs.
That makes you a younger member to me.:hugs:

I like to think that the new young members can learn from a lot of our mistakes.:daydreaming:

When they have a question there are so many of us that's Been there and Done that and
have the answers that can really help them enjoy their Crossdressing.:love:

[Renee Elise]

Yes!!! I am just a tad north of 29 and at work almost always the youngest person in the room. Always been comfortable conversing with people older than me because I find their wisdom and experience fascinating. Being in girl mode does make us look a bit younger too ;).

PS - How would getting a coffee be lewd? Thought I was up on all the latest innuendo but I'm struggling to see how a vanilla choca loca latte whatever would translate into well, you know...

[Mia27]

I am only 20 years old, and i do not mind talking to anyone on this forum!:) I find that older CDers have knowledge that could help make my life easier. And its nice to hear their stories, and get insight on what it could be like CDing for so long:) The more conversations the better!:)

[CherylFlint]

I've been to the mall and out to clubs with younger CD's.
No big deal: just two girls out and about.
Don't read any more into it than there is.

[thatotherguy]

it really depends on the questions and comments being asked...
personally, I would feel comfortable with comments that are more encouragements and guidance...