I went out! For five minutes

[Kris1775]

The other night was my usual night to get completely dressed. Make up painted nails and wig. After taking care of my boys and putting them to bed I got to hop on the computer. Check out this site and that one. Anyway,I came across a site that got me really pumped about going out. I had to wait for my SO to get home from work. So I got to ride the highs and lows in the thought train of going out. What will people think? Where will I go? What will I do? And then the question I never expected popped in my head. How will I feel if I don't go? I knew right away the feeling. Disappointment. I've felt it many times before because I didn't go. That feeling is what drove me out into the world. Now it was a late Thursday night so where to go? I don't like bars or clubs not that there's any with in a half hour drive of me. And its too late to drink coffee. But I need something from the local Cumbys that I planned on getting in the morning. I can go there but I have to talk. A sure give away. But I don't care I need to go out so I can be proud of my self.
So my SO comes home and I have a chat with her. She knew because Ive told her in previous weeks about the urge to go somewhere. And I'm honest with her and she is with me. I was really looking for her to say NO so that I could blame her and not me for not going. But she told me to just go.
I climb in the car super nervous and realize driving with heels is going to be tough. I get there pull in and think of leaving. But I'm there I'm doing this. I walk in and the cashier is doing a double take with a puzzled look on his face so I say "Hi" to confirm his suspicions. I am a man. I get what I need, have a little small talk and leave. As I'm walking out I realized that I've been keeping my head down. Strange I thought I started out so confident. I get in the car and notice how bad I'm shaking. And I think about what I'm feeling. I feel good but not great. I'm not excited. I'm my normal even keeled self. I thought Id be full of excitement and joy but no just normal. The people in the store didn't care, and I was just me. Its strange. Next time I think Ill try a bit longer of an outing.

[tifftg]

This is such a nice beginning. First of all your wife knows and seems to understand what is important to you. Second, you walked out the door, met someone, chatted and omg survived. Yes a little longer the next time but for so many what you just accomplished is impossible so feel proud and have even more fun the next time you walk out the door. It WILL be a little easier.

[Joanne Curl]

Getting out the door dressed is 2/3 of the battle. You've done it and survived. I'm sure this won't be the last time. Try going to a movie, it's dark and you get to settle into being Tiff for a longer period of time out amoung the public in a non-threatening environment.

[Jolene Robertson]

Hi Kris,

Congrats on getting up the nerve, that's a big first step. I remember my first time and like you said I was soonervousus my handwouldn't't quit shaking when I had to interact with someone. It does get easier once yorealizeze "the world didn't end". Hope you get to enjoy many more outings.

I've learned that going out during the day with my wife works well, she notices other peoples reactions and does most of the talking.

Hugs
Jolene

[5150 Girl]

Baby steps! It gets easier, and your confidence will grow.

[Marcelle]

Hey there . . . CONGRATS. The first trip out is always the hardest and you survived. Well done.

Hugs

Isha

[Brenda456]

It is difficult. I have made from my house to the dumpster in the alley late at night. That took some courage. Getting in the car for a bit is impressive! At least, it is to me.

[KiwiKate]

Well done! Your SO sounds cool.I liked Joanne's Ides about going to the movies,sounds the the perfect place for a beginner.

[Suzanne F]

Way to go! I think it's good that you are having an honest appraisal of how it feels. You may find that once in a while is just great or that you really don't like it. Either way you will know and the decision won't be made from a place of fear.
Suzanne

[Katey888]

Well done! :cheer:

A start is a start, however brief or wherever you go... and feeling normal is good, right...? :)

Still a positive experience...

Katey x

[Beverley Sims]

I went out for five minutes once,
It was raining heavily and my evening dress got soaked.

Good for you that first five minutes always feels like an eternity.

[Michelle colson]

Sounds like a great start! I just went through this myself the other day. You get all amped up to go out and then when you do it turns out to be a non event. It's almost a letdown.

[Lillyasia]

Congratulations on a successful first outing. You will not forget your first outing no matter how trivial it was. It will forever be the moment you conquered your fears.

[kkaye]

My first time out, it was not nerves. It was the heels. I had to seek professional advise on my walk and wearing heels.

[jjjjohanne]

Wow, on your first outing, you went in public, you spoke to someone (in a man voice?), you interacted with a cashier, and you had a conversation. That is all pretty impressive! I never ventured to speak to anyone for many outings, I avoided light, and I was almost always far from home. You are (dangerously) brave. If this is your first outing, you are going to be doing much riskier stuff later!! :)

[5150 Girl]

Sounds like a great start! I just went through this myself the other day. You get all amped up to go out and then when you do it turns out to be a non event. It's almost a letdown.

Letdown, or big relief? ;)

[Tracii G]

Try going out in the day time much safer for you.

[Savannah_Skye]

Congrats on the amazing experience and a supportive wife! I've been out a few times and sometimes I was so excited beforehand, I raised the bar to high, so to speak. Driving with heels takes practice too but can come so naturally!

[BillieJoEllen]

I vividly remember my first time. I can just about remember every single minute of what I did.

[BarbDriscoll]

When I am that nervous I tend to totally forget whatever happened. Total blank afterward.

Uncontrollable stage fright cut short my (un)promising career in music and so far has kept me from crossing the threshold. Congratulations on a successful first outing.

[CynthiaD]

Welcome to the world. Yes, believe it or not, everything out here is just plain old normal. Mostly I don't think much about it when I go out, but one thing I usually feel is a feeling of pride. I'm especially proud of my breastforms and how they make my chest look. I'm not sure why, but for me, that's what makes going out worthwhile.

[HelenR2]

Hi Kris. You said.. 'I thought Id be full of excitement and joy but no just normal.' and that's just how I felt the first time I closed the front door behind me and stepped out onto the street.... normal.

[Teresa]

Kris,
So pleased for you and it went without incident ! The other great thing is you have your wife's support !
Don't forget you're not the only CDer and maybe the store has regulars so no big deal !
Driving in heels is so different and great but if you do it often take a leaf out of the GGs book and drive in flats ! I've seen what driving does to my wife's heels and also the hole it makes in the carpet, which can be a giveaway !

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Kris, Now that you've had a taste of going out dressed there will be no holding you back now.

[Ceera]

Congratulations! My 'first steps' were just to slip out my front door in the wee hours of the morning and get my paper off the front lawn while dressed! Virtually no one likely to be up and see me, and such a thrill when a car drove by!

[Krisi]

It's great you got out and it's great it was OK with your wife.

My wife's concern (and mine really) is being seen by neighbors. There's really no time of day when there's not a chance of someone being up and going to work, coming home, walking the dog, etc. How do you deal with that?

My solution so far has been to go out underdressed and change in the car. I agree with a post above about going out in the daytime. I go to the tourist part of the city and walk around as if I was a tourist. I think that separated from my house and car, my presentation is good enough that I wouldn't be recognized even if a friend or neighbor happend to walk by. I would like to do this with my wife but then there's the chance that someone would recognize her and me by association.

[binair10]

Hi Kris, I am a new member on here and this is my first post.
Going out...nothing like it once you have plucked up the courage to go. I do not get the opportunity to go out that often (except when the Wife is away). I suppose that I have been out about 15-20 times in the last 2 or so years and only at night. The area that I live in in the UK (Birmingham) is an area where care should be taken. Not having a car is a bit of a drawback but going walking is not too bad.
I find that getting all dressed up and and getting ready to go out to me anyway seems the most natural thing to do.
Here in the UK we get plenty of letters through the post from many businesse`s with a pre paid envelope for a reply. I have realised that if you put a plain piece of paper in the envelope and seal it, then I have a goal to accomplish on my journey out. Deciding where the post boxes are and how far determines how far I can walk. So one night about 3 weeks ago it was cold and raining quite hard (I love it when it is raining), so with my handbag slung over my shoulder and umbrella up off I went. I had 3 letters to post (one in each box). I must have walked about 2 miles but it was wonderful being out again. I left home at 11pm and returned around midnight. Not many people or cars around that late at night.
So, if any of you Girls want to go out and have not yet left the security of your home, give it a go...you will wonder why you hadn`t done it years ago.
I am 73 y/o and have a Wife that does not like me dressing. Ho hum.

[Sarina Curtis]

Congrats Kris! That's definitely more gutsy than I could pull off right now. So far my outside en femme experience was on my way home from work a couple of days ago, around midnight to be fully honest, I stopped at the local park and changed into some slacks, a sweater and a bead necklace and walked the rest of the way home. It was only about half a kilometer so I don't think that qualifies as an outing, but hopefully means taking steps towards a real outing. I'm glad your wife was cool about it and encouraged you to get out there. I hope my SO will be as supportive once I muster the courage to get out there too

[Glenda58]

The steps are the hardest to take. The fear we have is in us almost no body cares who we are when out. The more you go out the better it will be.

[Michelle 78]

I felt the same the first time I went out as Michelle, It just felt normal. I suppose it's because it's still me, I might look different, but underneath the clothes and makeup it's still me. The hardest part for me was having to tell myself that the world now sees you as a woman, act like one!

I think your wife is amazing to be so understanding:) I wish I had the guts to interact with anybody with a male or female voice, just not ready for that yet.

[Robin414]

I was out during the DAY for the second time in my life just before Halloween. Went to a local park wearing a high end ski jacket, purse, blonde 'monroe' wig, guess retro sunglasses and 3 inch heeled boots and there was a city park worker in a truck freaking stalking me! He never got close so I think he thought I was a hooker for God's sake! I had in the back of my mind if he approaches me ill pull the 'trying out the Halloween costume' line but made me think...we girls need to dress for the venue! Another thought is there's strength in numbers too, it would be be great to have a girl or two along with the first outings at least to deflect attention! Thoughts?

[JennyCorruair]

Hi binair10. Wow, somebody from Birmingham UK, not Birmingham Alabama. I am also from Birmingham and sympathise. My wife also dislikes me dressing but its my little walks out that keep me sane.

[victoria76]

I have ventured out many times at night, but never went into a business and interacted with anybody...
You're doing great! :)

[crossdrezzer1]

congrads,,, next time go shopping at dress barn,,, you will be shining for years with that experience

[Eryn]

My first time I wheeled the trash out to the curb at midnight.

Three years later I've done a lot of things all over SoCal. Plays, movies, concerts, dinners, pool parties, county fairs, jewelry and mineral shows, car shows, etc.

Honestly, getting out the door is the hardest part. You've done it and the world is yours! :)

[Nadya]

Congrats! It takes a lot to go out on your own but like you said, I regret it more that I don't go rather than actually doing it.

[Vanessa2014]

I like what Eryn wrote, "Honestly, getting out the door is the hardest part. You've done it and the world is yours!"

When I first started this, just this recent August, I only thought of daring to try on a few items of clothing--like an innocuous nightgown. Now, I am thinking wig--where, how; and make-up--how.

Then I think about going out when I am ready in the sartorial sense, and find myself nearly catatonic at the idea of just getting to the car without being scene. I think--again, I think after that I would be OK. And then I think of returning home and rushing incognito somehow back through my backdoor.

Congratulations on your daring, and to your wife for the "push."

Vanessa

[Richelle423]

way to go!!!! 5 min to start then you'll have hrs before you even lknow it!!!!

[jsunic_1978]

MOVIES, COFFEE SHOPS, WOMENS CLOTHING STORES A MALL WITH A FEMALE FRIEND....JUST GOING TO THE BANK....,LOL its no big deal, cause people are just out n about doing the same THINGS such as us :)

[Claire Cook]

Kris, that's one small step for a girl, one giant step for Kris-kind!



My wife's concern (and mine really) is being seen by neighbors. There's really no time of day when there's not a chance of someone being up and going to work, coming home, walking the dog, etc. How do you deal with that?

My solution so far has been to go out underdressed and change in the car. I agree with a post above about going out in the daytime. I go to the tourist part of the city and walk around as if I was a tourist. I think that separated from my house and car, my presentation is good enough that I wouldn't be recognized even if a friend or neighbor happend to walk by. I would like to do this with my wife but then there's the chance that someone would recognize her and me by association.

Krisi, I've told some of my neighbors, and I'm sure that some of those I haven't have seen me. I still tend to go out during the day when many are in work or kids are in school. But I've never had a negative reaction (at least to my face) and am worrying less about it.