Has what you value changed as your "Tness" develops?

[Rogina B]

This is a post pertinent to all sides of this forum. Has what you value in your life changed as your GD becomes stronger? We live in a very plastic world of consumerism here in the US.People are expected to buy and buy..Little focus on personal growth by the mainstream world. However,YOU are different than the norm.in that you have things going on in your head that they don't have. lol So,are you now more aware of your health,or your freedom to do as you wish,or having a few accepting and embracing friends rather than a lot of "fair weather" friends. Is the accumulation of possessions less appealing as time goes on? So,do you really want that shiny new car that costs as much as a house should,or would you rather have a more satisfying life?

[kimdl93]

Good question. I would like to tell myself that I'm less materialistic and more substantive in my interests as a result of my embracing my transness, if that's a word. That might be a bit self congratulatory, however. My life has always, and continues to revolve around my family. As I get older I find I'm far more concerned about the world I am leaving for my grandkids, less concerned about possessions but still able to enjoy some creature comforts. Little things mean a lot. This am I rose early so that I could enjoy at least a couple of quiet hours as a woman before I don the masculine facade for another work day. Simple, quiet contentment.

[Kate Simmons]

Knowing who I am and being in a position to help others is invaluable to me. :)

[Margot Emerson]

I don't think my values have changed so much because of my T-ness, so much they changed with age. I've always valued the same things. But, I think you just learn to 'not sweat the small stuff', anymore, as you get older. And when you see friends you've grown up with starting to have health issues, you realize that our time is too short not to fill it with all the joy we can. I will say that my T-ness has made me more aware of different things, and particularly, more perceptive in my relationships, though. I relate to people differently. But, I don't think that is same thing as a value change.

[Allisa]

Well as I age I find that being satisfied with what I have is sufficient and I was never a material (girl) person. My health has allways been of concern once I got over that indistructable bullet proof macho crap as a young man. As I have said before as we age it now becomes health before wealth I worked on the wealth part and was not really happy and grew old fast both physically and emotionaly now with my acceptance of my femme side my values have changed and being "free" to be me and truly living my life is precedent over "things" I might own and who I might know and try to impress,to what end? It's the little things in life that make you rich if you know where to look. Well enough from this walking cliché. My best to you Bye-Bye.

[Cheryl T]

I feel I've become more family focused and less dependent on "friends". I've found there are too many fair weather types around and too few true friends.
My spouse and I have become even closer now. She is, thankfully, completely accepting and oh so very helpful and I adore being with her more each day. She has in turn helped me become more in touch with myself in all my modes.

[Michelle Deere]

As Allisa and Margot said, just the process of getting older has a tendency to refocus your values. For me, it was career, marriage and family that influenced my values, not the fact I was a crossdresser. Even with my latest "enlightenment" I don't believe my values will change.

[Teresa]

Rogina,
Taking you point about the new car, I learned that lesson years ago when I use to envy people with their shiny new tin box sitting on their drive !
It turned out it was usually on finance or it was a company car that went with the job ! No I don't have a sat nav, I can still read a map to get me where I'm going ! Maybe all my money spent on CDing would be stupid and pointless, but the nice things we can wear brings more pleasure now than a load of gadgets I shall never fully use or any more power tools in the garage for projects I may never get round to !
I would like to enjoy my Cding more, and have better understanding and acceptance, sadly at the moment I only get that through some like minded friends on the forum .

[Isabella Ross]

Embracing my TGism has made me a much more relaxed, less anxious and uptight person. I know it's made me so much more comfortable in my own skin, and one side benefit is that the desire for acquiring more wealth and possessions has receded significantly...and for my wife as well. The exception, of course, is the embarrassingly large and growing collection of lingerie, heels and dresses...sigh.

[Annaliese]

Value family more, thought providing was more important than spending time with family, money is spent, time with family priceless, that being my self is important also, live an unhappy live til accepted who I am, much happier now.

[CONSUELO]

As some have already pointed out, one's values also change with age. If there is one thing that I believe has changed as a result of my maturing transgenderism, it is an increasing dislike of boorish male behaviour, especially when it is directed at women.

[Rogina B]

The responses are as I expected,many people admit to being better "for it"..And I don't think we are a consuming group for big ticket items nor do we want to hang and pretend with people that we know won't accept us..

[Karen_Ski]

I like to think I have become a better person as I have transitioned and grown as a woman. I am more caring, more patient, and more giving of myself. The old me was a "me first person" while Karen thinks about other people. I would say that is the biggest difference.

[Tina_gm]

I don't know that my TG issues have actually grown stronger, but I have accepted them more, so they are now a bigger part of my life. I would also say that my values overall have not changed either. The only things I can think of that may have changed at all, is that I can see the uniqueness in people a little more clearly, and am less judgemental on those who are extremely unique. (not just in a CD way) While I still am very much against the concept and practice of PC- I do see and understand the struggles of those who are in a minority, as I now have come to understand my own minority status. I understand why minority people are often more sensitive. I now see and hear every little negative comment or reaction when it comes to any gender variant behavior. It can be a little hurtful at times too. I understand other minorities a little better on this than I used to.

[Katey888]

I'm not sure that my underlying values have changed but with self-understanding and self-acceptance has come a lot more tolerance and acceptance of others in our broad LGBT community. Age has something to do with that too... I've always been quite philosophical about life and I find it depressing that the past few decades has seen a further slide to outright materialism in the west (and east I suppose) and a loss of many values that would be seen now as old-fashioned and weak. From a personal POV the biggest thing to have changed my perspective is seeing my loved ones with failing health. That does tend to refocus ones thoughts on life as an experiential activity rather than an accrual of material wealth... plenty of rich folk in every local cemetery... :)

Carpe diem, then!

Katey x

[Rogina B]

I agree Katey...Life is way too short not to enjoy it when you can! As far as answers...Acceptance of others! Tolerance begets tolerance..I just don't see any negativity with responses so far. That is a good thing!

[Janine cd]

Living a relatively long life (75+years) I can see that crossdressing has kept me from falling into deep depression and made me more appreciative of the blessings that I have received.

[AletaHawk]

As I grow to understand my "Tness", I've found myself more and more frustrated. I've always valued my family over everything else, but this constant yearning to understand myself and express myself has me terrified of the impact it will have on them. While I know I'm making positive changes, not everyone - especially in the South - sees things that way, no matter how tolerant people are becoming.

So yes, I value my family even more, but largely because of this nagging guilt that I've endangered them.

[Rogina B]

Aleta,You have not endangered them! You are entitled to be who you really are. And Orlando is a good place to be,so enjoy yourself with no guilt!

[Maria Blackwood]

It was my years in the S&M scene where I had the biggest epiphanies, and came to embrace and even revel in my sexuality. CD came along later. I'll have to think sbout it.

[donnalee]

I don't think my values have changed that much, but it has been a huge comfort to me after the loss of my SO 3 years ago. For quite a while there I wasn't sure I would make it; the depression was so overwhelming, primarily due to feelings of guilt and failure after her death. Unfortunately, chemicals were useless and "counseling" was impossible. due to an earlier experience of betrayal by a so-called "Psychiatrist"; I refuse to put my well being in the hands of another person unless they are willing and able to follow my instructions to the letter. This site was my only outlet for a lot of my feelings and I really do thank those who communicated with me during those times. I'm about 24/7 now, unless I go out, which happens when I need supplies or have a medical appointment or other urgent matter.
I'm still the same irascible old curmudgeon that I was, although that doesn't mean that I don't care; I've just had to learn to deal with things as they are and can do so without blinders or rose-colored glasses.

[kimdl93]

An afterthought. As I said earlier, I don't think my values changed, but when I came to grips with and genuinely accepted myself as TG, I grew immeasurably in terms of my ability to accept imperfections in myself and the idiosyncrasies of others. That is a certain benefit of being and accepting oneself as TG.

[sometimes_miss]

I think what we value in life changes as we get older whether we are GID or not; it's a simple observation that we grow in personality as we age.

[Maria Blackwood]

My home has always been neat and clean inside, but very, very spartan. No pictures on the wall. My living room is a couch, hone theater and a table. Bedroom is a bed, nightstand and dresser and nothing else. I have the urge these days to decorate the place much more completely.

[Beverley Sims]

I do treasure some things differently over time and I do notice more feminine things around me.

I am more conscious of women's roles in the world.

[PaulaQ]

Since starting transition, I've realized that I care very deeply about helping others, and I spend a lot of time doing so, at least I hope I'm helpful. There is so much that needs to be done though, it's beyond any one person. I've realized that what happens to me, in my life, is largely irrelevant. It's not about me. It's about others. My life only makes sense in those terms.

[charlenesomeone]

I find as the pink tsunami has continued, I am a lot calmer person. May this will be the norm now.
One can hope. I am also a lot more tolerant of others.

[Kris Avery]

The more that I am allowed to be myself..the happier I am.
This is not tied in any way to what I purchase. (Light bulb going on)

I think my values are improving as I age, and find that satisfaction is way more important than materialism for sure!

[harmony]

we are what we are and lifes purpose (imhop)is to become all we are and that includes things we might not like at first or are against common practices in society.we can fight it and live a life of conflict or find acceptance and a suitable accommodation for our little peccadillos.doing the latter will add a tremendous amount of maturity in our development and will lead to contentment and harmony in our lives.it has in mine!

[Karen kc]

I think age has changed more of me than t-ness. But I do seem to be a lil more caring and a lil less sharped tongued!

[Janine cd]

I agree with Beverley. Since I have retired, my focus is more on feminine things and how women are treated in society.

[Michaelasfun]

Yes it has. I think with age, you tend to start being able to separate commercialism from what's really important too, but factoring in "Tness", what I value most over material acquisitions is the periods of time where I have the freedom to dress and go out and about; I'm happy with repairing the not-so-new vehicles or fixing things instead of rushing to buy the latest and greatest as I've lost any interest I may have had with "keeping up with the Joneses". Being happy and self-respect are what I value now.