Why is it so tough to decide all the sudden

[Lexi Moralas]

Well girls , I have an opportunity to get out full enfem tomorrow , those of you who know me know how rare this is for me these days. So here I am I picked up the last missing items I need to complete my transformation. I know exactly what I want to wear and where I want to go , even planned where I will park change and do my make up. ( crap just realized I for got to buy an eyelash curler !)
Have the schedule Completely planned out. I have all the details covered. ( see earlier post for more on my situation ) now there's just one problem !
I m not sure I actually want to go ! I can't believe it ! In the past I've taken some Isaine risks just to steal a couple hours of for Lexi
But here I m with all bases covered and I'm just not feeling it ! I can't explain it. I know if I let this opportunity pass I will regret it because there will not be another for possibly 6 months of maybe a year. So I'm thinking I will probable end up forcing my self for that reason alone.
But I just can't seem to get excited for it.
I could have dressed today. And I just didn't feel like it. Can't explain it.
Any one else ever go through something like this ? Any advice ?

[LelaK]

Go with everything, but stay in drab till you see friends there, and ask them to see if they can persuade you to dress. If not, you can simply socialize.

[Adriana Moretti]

So tomorrow your going out? finally I cant wait to hear which way you go with this. You have that little window to do something you have been dreaming about for months, coming here to live vicariously through others, and nows your chance to actually do it yourself and your getting cold feet? Yup....thats sounds about right, and completely normal. , if it makes you happy doit, if you dont...its gunna sit with you if you REALLY wanted to. You did this in the past though, so it shouldnt be a big deal for you, its not like its a first. But I say do it if you really want to go, if you really dont...then dont...sometimes I dont feel like dressing either...so I dont...I dont feel it. Either way the pressure will be off as long as you make the right choice thats best for you and makes you happy. And you dont need an eyelash curler LOL...you will live 1 day without it LOL... good luck girl either way.....

[Sarasometimes]

I sort of had the same feeling this morning(I can dress like twice a month). I yesterday i made an appointment for a blowout for this morning and when I got up this morning I had mixed feelings about keeping it. I wanted to go but not have to get my things together and do my makeup...Ultimately I kept it since cancelling in the morning would have been a bit rude since I really could make it. Well I had a great time and now my wig looks fantastic. The stylist is one of my regulars who I hadn't been to since the spring. We caught up and it was wonderful.
I suggest you go and if it isn't working for you you can make it a shorter day. May guess is once you get going it will feel right. Be happy with whatever you decide!

[Rachelakld]

I sometimes think "I should be renovating .......instead"
But once I force myself out the door, within 30 minutes I'm in total girl mode and loving it

[Kate Simmons]

Hard to say really. Some folks get a "rush" when there is danger of being exposed. If that danger doesn't exist, then it doesn't seem so interesting. I know I used to get this but have since settled into just enjoying the moment and my time en femme. I guess that comes with growing as a person. :battingeyelashes::)

[charlenesomeone]

I get to dress some part of each day, and sometimes yes it's like why?
Then I put on the forms and OK that's why. Even if its only an hour, it feels right.
Have fun, I know there a lot of things that I didn't want to do, but did and had a good time.
Hugs

[kimdl93]

Not really. There have been times when I might have gone out, but simply was too tired. But I shed my male facade at every opportunity!

[Eringirl]

Hi Lexi:

I think many of us have gone through this....sometimes I do, and if I don't feel it, I don't. But the times that I don't are rare. Like others, when I am not sure and I get dressed anyway, within minutes, I am glad that I did!!! Sometimes, creating the perfect plan, which can sometimes seem complex, is very exhausting and almost stressful. That maybe taking the fun out of it for you?? I think you will be happy that you did, but it is up to you and what you are comfortable with....

Erin

[Katey888]

I'm sure it can be a normal feeling for many of us, Lexi.. :hugs: Don't feel bad - just go with how you feel at the time...

If this is only a short term trip perhaps you're reacting about it not being long enough? I know I wouldn't want to put in all the effort just for a couple hours shopping.. (Geez - just an hour shopping I'd be pulling handfuls of kanekalon out of my wig - there'd have to be more to do and longer to do it for me... :)) And perhaps you need someone to share it with...? I know I'd be bored after a short while being alone... but perhaps that's just me..

Katey x

[Sarah Doepner]

I've had times in the middle of a week of being able to dress and go out in a different city with lots of other crossdressers where I just didn't want to do the work and go out. I ended up going out in guy mode and that was okay. It can be a potential problem if we do something out of desperation that we push the limits just because we feel the need to get as much in as possible. Stay comfortable within your own skin, it could be telling you it's not the best time to get out. If you don't go out please don't be beating yourself up for missing the chance, if it's the right decision today, it will have beent he right decision when you look back at it later. You don't need to be your own critic.

On the other hand, you may find that once you get started getting ready, you just needed the extra push to start. Either way, be your own friend on this, your choice is the right one.

[docrobbysherry]

Lexi, I have had this happen to me quite often the last year. I believe I'm like u? A closet dresser? I really enjoy dressing at home. With no limits or concerns. I'm fortunate to have a DADT situation at home which allows me to dress pretty much whenever. However, I try to go out to CD friendly clubs once a month to see my dressing friends.

On many occasions over the last year I was just "not feeling it". I had all my gear picked out and ready to put on. Yet, for whatever reasons, I felt VERY STRESSED about the idea of dressing and going out. Once I decided NOT to go, I relaxed and felt much better! But, like u, I regretted not meeting up with my friends.

I've tried going to meet them in drab. That was even more stressful. As, I felt completely out of place being the only one not dressed.:sad:

[Amanda L.]

Hi Lexi
I think this feeling is part of the package. I have moments when I am looking forward to getting my girl on but when the time comes the feeling seems to be a bit dilute. But I hate to waste opportunity as sometimes it can be a while between drinks so I get my lazy butt into the shower, shave and start the transformation. I have never regretted doing it even if my heart wasn't fully engaged. There has always been that wonderful feeling of being my girl and the relaxed state of mind that comes with it.
So for what it's worth go and give it a crack, you know deep,down that you want to.
Have fun
Luv
Amanda

[Alice Torn]

You sound a lot like me, a worrier, over- thinker, whatifer.

[Beverley Sims]

Lexi,
Think of the problems, procrastinate, worry about , outfits, shoes and makeup all add to the stress, so you may as well stay home.

Be a little more spontaneous in your actions and GET OUT NOW!.......

Stay safe though. :)

[Adriana Moretti]

sooooooooo.........what happened....tommorrow is today...wait....that was yesterday.....so that means today is the day after...well??? did you go? or cut the lawn??? If you stayed in can I get that eyelash curler???

[Krisi]

When I go out I have to underdress and change in the car. Although my wife knows and tolerates my dressing she wants it kept at home so the only time I can go out is if she is out of town (once a year). Well, I was anticipating going out the last time she was gone, planning what I would wear, where I would go, etc.

When the time came, it seemed like too much trouble, it was too hot, I had other things to do, etc. and I never went.

So yes, it has happened to me.

[Mollyanne]

I think the reason(s) that you are vacillating are very clear, fear of the unknown!!!!! IE: will you be discovered????? who will see you??????? will you be convincing enough????

Go for it!!!!!!

Molly

[Lexi Moralas]

Ok girls , here is an update.
So I did go out. To give a little back round for those who don't know me , I have been out in public many many times, almost ways during the day. I am very comfortable with it and blend pretty well so there is no anxiety in that regurd. The stress comes from my SO not approving , being like a super detective. And the fact that since she found out it tears me up with all the sneaking and Lieing that involved. Although I truly don't feel I am doing anything wrong. I don't want to make a life style change , I don't want to have dressing change my "real" life in anyway. And I certainly am not going to be unfaithful. But using to lie to her bothers me. Ok now that all the B S is out of the way.
So I got changed and ready in the car as I have always done. I was surprised I Had not lost the knack for doing my make up.
I parked and walked about 1/4 mile from a lingerie shop I love but rarley get to and walked through town to the shop. Got measures for a corset. The owner helped me try it on laced me up , I loved it. And wore it out. Kind of anti climactic since the was the focus of my outing and I was in and out in 15 minutes. So all dressed up with no wear to go I checked out a Walmart , a good will, and a Halloween spirt near by. Then parked in my pre planned spot changed back into guy mode. And got back to reality. It was fun but a little empty. I think Katie nailed it. These little outings used to be enough.
But now I have gotten so comfortable being out in public. I need more , more time and a friend to hang out with.
It seems like just as I settle in to my Lexi persona time is up.
Oh well that it for Lexi until knows when.
Thanks for all the support and advice girls. Bye for now Lexi
Damn I forgot the eyelash curler again !