Isha's First Flight - Success!

[Marcelle]

Hi all,

So as some may have read in my previous thread on this subject there was a lot of angst on my part to fly "en femme" in Canada due to the Transport Canada regulation regarding "gender" as a marker for flight denial (i.e., your gender must match your ID). I could not get a clear answer from Air Canada, Transport Canada, CSTSA or even my Member of Parliament so . . . I just decided to fly as Isha and let the chips fall where they may. I really hate to be told I can't do something especially if it has the potential to infringe on my rights, in this instance basic mobility rights. I left last Sunday for business and just returned last night and in both instances I flew as Isha . . . no real issues . . . okay one rude comment but no biggie.

So as to my adventure . . . oh and for those who believe unless you have pictures it never happened . . . I have provided a few photos at the end.

Got to the Ottawa airport last Sunday and it was packed (figured flying late Sunday it would be quiet) . . . no such luck :sad:. I was flying with a GG friend so I waited for her before checking through. Standing around provided plenty of time for close inspection by other but for the most part it was the same as in malls, some people never even noticed, others never batted an eye, some odd looks, a few giggles/guffaws from others. So my friend shows up and time for ID check one (check-in). The Air Canada agent looked at my boarding pass, then at my passport (slight curious stare), looked at me, gave a friendly smile and said "Gate 29 ladies and have a nice flight" :). So off we went to security (CSTSA). I had never seen it so busy and it took us nearly 40 minutes to get through the line which brought me in close proximity to plenty of people. Again, some noticed, some didn't, some odd stares but we did carry on a conversation with those around us (complaining about the lines that is). Breezed through CSTSA (no follow-up pat down or anything). We had to run to our gate as it was boarding . . . ID check 2 . . . short of a curious stare and a slight smile there were no issues.

Now I was on the milk run flight which took me to Toronto (plane change) then Calgary, then Vancouver and finally a prop hopper flight to Victoria. Each time I had to show my ID and there were no issues. Funny thing in Toronto I experienced my first "bathroom line-up" at the ladies restroom. I was standing there in line and got pulled into a conversation about Air Canada's new policy on charging to reserve seats and paying for checked baggage. If they noticed I was a guy, they certainly kept it to themselves. We landed in Vancouver 12 hours later. This was one of the longest times I have worn make-up and while it was approaching critical fail thanks to laser facial hair removal it still did not look that bad . . . although I don't think I would want to go clubbing :battingeyelashes:

I left yesterday from Victoria and decided that I would fly back as Isha . . . only this time I was flying solo as my GG friend was staying in Victoria for business purposes. She did drive me to the airport. It was busy at the Airport (again who would have thought 5AM would be busy). Waited in line to check in and had a conversation with the woman behind me . . . she liked my boots. Checked in with no issues . . . big line-up at CSTSA again. There were a lot of military guys in the line so I got a few rude stares and there were a few chuckles but nothing which really bothered me. Got through CSTSA and took my hopper prop flight to Vancouver. I had a two hour layover in Vancouver so I got to walk around the airport and naturally get a Starbucks. I found a place to sit and enjoy my coffee and read the paper. Now this where the only rude thing happened to me:

I was reading my paper when I noticed an older woman and man sitting across from me and both were staring (well more like glaring). I get that older folks may find this odd (different generation) and I normally cut them slack but it was getting a bit annoying after about 15 minutes because they kept glaring. So I lowered my paper and asked if I could help them with something. That is when the woman looked at me and said "You should be ashamed of yourself dressing up like a woman when so many fine young men are putting their lives on the line in uniform these days. You are behaving cowardly by pretending to be a woman rather than be a man and do your bit" (I assume she was referring to the recent events in Canada where the two soldiers were killed). Now this conversation was drawing some close by onlookers (I could see a few nods of approval from those who I guess, agreed with her). I don't normally engage but this was in my opinion too rude a comment to let go so I said . . .

. . . "Firstly ma'am, women are allowed to fight in combat in the military, have fought and have died in the service of this country. So no, dressing as a woman is not a cowardly thing to do. As far as doing my bit, I have given 32 years of service to Canada in the military, have experienced the worst humanity has to offer, have buried friends and shed much in defence of this nation so please don't assume you know me based on your narrow minded, out of date concept of what is right and wrong. You have your beliefs and I have mine so let's agree to be civil." That basically ended the conversation. The older couple got up and left quickly, everyone else went back to their business and I went back to my coffee and paper. Funny thing was, the couple was on the same flight as me and ended up sitting directly across from me on the flight . . . they never said a thing or even looked in my direction. :battingeyelashes:

The flight home was uneventful and I picked up my bags and headed home once I got to Ottawa. So all my worries were a bit unfounded. I did speak to one of the Air Canada agents in Vancouver and she indicated that when it comes to TG persons they are told to compare the photo ID and if it can be determined you are who your document says you are (male in my case and me) then there is no issues. There might be a bit more scrutiny if you look very female (i.e., pass) and look nothing like your photo . . . something I don't have to worry about :D

So my proof of life photos:

First picture (jeans and jean jacket) is actually my return trip from Victoria airport (not very flattering :devil: . . . I hate phone pictures)

Last two pictures are at Vancouver international (critical make-up fail by this time :eek:)

Hugs all

Isha

[Robynts]

Isha, glad you had an uneventful adventure. I have been waiting with "baited breath" to hear how it went.

You look terrific in your pictures! Doesn't it feel great once you actually fly pretty?

[natalie_cheryl]

Great story isha sounds like your are breaking down more and more barriers for yourself. Congrats!

[kimdl93]

First, thank you for putting that grumpy and presumptuous old woman in her place. I doubt that it made a dent in her prejudices, but at least you slapped her "how dare you" right back at her.

Glad the trip went well otherwise!

[samantha rogers]

Awesome, Isha! Just awesome!
I just believed that you would be fine. No, I knew you would be. And the one couple...what a story book conversation. They absolutely could not have said that crap to a more perfect person with any more perfect come back than what you gave in order to make them think before they try that kind of bigotry again.
Oh, doll, I am so happy for you! Yay! Yay!
It was fun wasn't it?
And now there is one less thing on your bucket list.
That list is getting shorter and shorter...pretty soon about the only thing left will be "go dancing with Sammie"
LOL

Big Hugs, sister!

[Beverley Sims]

Isha,
First of all....Bl**dy awesome!!!!

Old peoples opinions and their lack of flexibility for change gives me the sh**s.

Had a couple of old French/Canadians give me the look in Montreal yesterday....

"They didn't like my boots." :)

Makes you want to develop an arrogant attitude.

[GretchenJ]

Hi my friend,

Other than your confrontation with your curious couple, I am very glad to hear that your flight went without any major issues. Although I do believe that this generation is more tolerant, the older generation doesn't have the life experiences to understand. As always, you handled the situation very well.

Your courage as you know is most admirable. This was not a puddle jumper. So that many hours of flying pretty, good. For you!!!

What is next on your bucket list ( the bucket is more like a shot glass now lol )

Congratulatory hugs !!
Gretchen

[Ineke Vashon]

Isha - Congratulations on your perseverance and success. What an adventure. What a marvelous way in which you answered the glarers. They were suitably punished by having to sit across from you and be embarassed for the entire flight.


Isha,
Old peoples opinions and their lack of flexibility for change gives me the sh**s.
Makes you want to develop an arrogant attitude.

Beverly - I find your statement unfortunate. It groups a segment of the population in one corner, just like those who think all CDers are gay. At 80 I am Old People myself yet an accepting CDer. We're not all senile and opiniated.

Ineke

[Tina B.]

That was some trip, changing flights that many times, you must be an old hand at it by now.
As for old people, don't judge us all to harshly, I wouldn't mind the way your where dressed, I thought you looked pretty darn good,
and I'm well over 70. You might not have changed the minds of the two old farts, but hopefully you had
an impact on the others, that over heard the conversation.

[Michelle Deere]

Way to go Isha!!
Hopefully your business trip was as successful as the flights. An excellent retort to the older womans assumptions.

Michelle

[Martina]

Being new here, I have to congratulate you on the way that you were able to deal with the old couple and put the old woman in her place as to what you had experienced in your service to your country.
As you say I am sure that she will think again before passing any comments to anyone else in the future.
Well done.

Martina

[Allisa]

I wish I could have been there for your response to the elderly couple I would have applauded you and thanked you.

[CostaRicaRachel]

That is great Isha. It's too bad about the confrontation with the couple. I'm glad you had an appropriate
response, they could not have picked a "better" person to attack.

By the way, you look pretty good after a long flight and no makeup.

Congratulations!!!

[CarlaWestin]

Isha, Thank you for your service and for standing up for all of us that just want the basic right to be ourselves.

[Julie Denier]

Such a great story! And what an awesome response to such ignorance. You are one fierce woman ;)

[Jenniferathome]

Isha, were you wearing forms on these flights? I ask because when I have traveled with forms in my bag, about 50% of the time, my bag is flagged for a visual inspection. In your case, if you wore forms, the scanner should show them as non-human. If just a metal detector, no problem. Just curious.

[mykell]

congratulations on your flight, glad it went so well except for the one hiccup, which you handled in a very isha way, they will think twice before judging i hope.
thanks for all you do to just be you....

[Ilsa]

I'm wondering what the protocol at the airports, especially Ottawa, would be this weekend after the tragic events in Ottawa. Stricter, less lenient?

To say the timing of your trip was fortunate would be an understatement. Kudos to you for having such confidence and perhaps a little luck with your adventure.

Ilsa

[Suzanne F]

Congratulations Isha! My wife says you are her hero. I have travelled by air in US with no problems. I so appreciate your service and your willingness to defend our TG rights. You are me hero too!
Suzanne

[Rhanda]

You look very much like a nice person (female) dressed for travel. Remember, all women are not that beautiful and most of us accept their looks without comment. I have been wearing some fem clothes every day except when it is totally inappropriate, like when I display at a gun show. I can still wear makeup when dressed as a guy. It is just an enhancement that I have grown good at.
I just bought my first skirt and am looking for an opportunity to wear it somewhere. It is my belief that one should be able to wear anything that is modest and so I am not fearful of criticism. Just want to wear this to something nice. I haven't a wig which I need because I am very bald. I am looking for something that is both male and female.

Congratulation for your courageous trip.

Rhanda

[Lorileah]

what a jump for them to make...you are what we called a draft dodger in the 60's and 70's by pretending to be a crossdresser. This is one of my sand bur under the saddle things, that we dress to get around something or to cheat. M*A*S*H reconfirmed this with Klinger. Arlo Guthrie in Alice's restaurant. Folklore many times over of a friend of a friend who knew someone. When I was in I got the opposite. I was harassed as a baby killer and robot marching to the man. A long conversation where a man confronted me and my fellow soldier for not standing up against! the establishment. My response was calm..."And that, sir, is why we do this. So you can keep the right to say what you just said" He was at a loss. But we did it calmly like you did. I think that makes a deeper impression. Great trip Isha

[Marcelle]

Hi all,

Thanks very much for your kind comments and support. It was a grand adventure and one I would repeat again in the future when the opportunity presents itself. The only draw back to this trip was the cold I am now nursing . . . caught from my colleagues on the west coast (darn and I thought I would go unscathed :sad:)


. . . It was fun wasn't it? And now there is one less thing on your bucket list.
That list is getting shorter and shorter...pretty soon about the only thing left will be "go dancing with Sammie"

Hi Sammie. I would have to say it was both nerve wracking and fun at the same time. Definitely "Dancing with Sammie" is still on the list :)


. . . This was not a puddle jumper. So that many hours of flying pretty, good. For you!!!

Hi Gretchen. Yeah it was quite exhausting and even with the laser hair removal, it was getting dark around my chin and under my nose by the end . . . I never used a compact so much in my life :battingeyelashes:


. . . As for old people, don't judge us all to harshly

Hi Tina. Don't get me wrong, I seldom engage older folks based just on odd or rude looks as I get the whole generational thing so I cut them a lot of slack. In this case they were staring way too much and it was getting uncomfortable. Even then if they just looked away or moved when I asked them if I could help them, I would have let it drop. The comment was just a bit over the top for my liking though hence the reason I engaged them.


Isha, were you wearing forms on these flights?

Hi Jen,

I don't use forms or padding when I dress. I can fit a 36A due to my chest muscle which gives the impression of a smaller chested gal. In any event I did not get picked for a full body scan just went through the metal detector.

Hugs all

Isha

[Teresa]

Isha,
I'm glad it went well for you, and dealt with the old couple in the correct way ! Perhaps she had an experience that she was relating to and had to pass comment on you ! Never read a book by it's cover !
I think my incident at Vancouver airport got me closer to being arrested than you ! All to do with a Swiss Army knife but it's a long story !
You looked very acceptable and hope you can get more trips as Isha !

[Rhonda Darling]

Isha. You've set a great example on several levels. Kudos to you.

Thank you for your service. Thank you for showing other reluctant CDs that a first flight can be a long flight, and that the only thing to fear is fear itself. And mostly, thanks for representing the community so well when you took on the elderly bigotted couple and handled their snarky statement so well. You left them no room to retort. Pity you couldn't have had a more civil conversation with them on the flight and educated them further. Their loss, to be sure.

Great going.
Best regards,
Rhonda

[Karren J]

Isha, you are a role model for respectfully handling adversity. Keep notes, write a book. I am dead serious your experiences and interaction will be a valuable glimpse into this world to the future time when diversity really is no big deal. Keep being awesome.

Kelly

[Katey888]

:cheer:

Well done! No stroppy, over-enthusiastic ticket-takers and bureaucrats... Good news!

Shame about the old folks - a bit rude of them and a bit surprising for locals... just goes to prove that old adage about when you 'assume' something... you handled them well. :)

But I was so hoping you'd get taken to one side and asked to prove your 'gender identity... it would have been really cool to be able to say to one of the TSA folk: "Let's go somewhere private and I'll show you my persoal gender marker - it's a permanent fixture I keep close by me at all times...." ;)

:cool:

Katey x

[Marcelle]

Hi Katey . . . LOL but I think that would likely end bad :doh:

Hugs

Isha

[Judith96a]

Well done Isha. It sounds like you had a blast, despite the one incident of rudeness. It never ceases to amaze me how people jump to unwarranted conclusions about all sorts of situations. Sometimes I think that what "they" accuse "you" of says more about "them " than about "you.
Thanks to you we now know more about crossing Canada en femme!

[Samantha B L]

Isha,Good for you. I think if people look at the truth TG/TS/CD people aren't trying to get out of stuff like the military and hard work. I can't speak for Canada because I don't live there. But down here it seems like there are quite a few LGBT/TG/TS/CD people who keep trying to get into the American armed forces. That's not cowardly shirking if you ask me. Americans in the forum might be interested to know that a prominent and outspoken US senator in the 1820s was a completely out of the closet CD. She died just previously to the invention of daguerrotype photography,but there are paintings,drawings,excerpts from speeches and news reports from those days. Furthermore,one of Teddy Roosevelt's roughriders was a lifelong veteran crossdresser. She was at San Juan Hill. I don't mean to condescend to people in the forum who don't come from the USA. They have stpries they could tell about their own countries. My point is dressing is not something people resort to to get out of the military and laborious jobs. It doesn't happen that way. On a lighter not I liked Clinger on MASH. I was a little disappointed to find out he was straight

[Renee Elise]

Hi Isha, thanks for sharing such an inspiring post with us. You looked very cute in the outfits you chose to fly. Some people are just rude anyway regardless of how we're dressed!

[Bree Wagner]

Isha,

I'm so happy for you that it went so well. Even better, I'm so thrilled about the way you handled yourself (with class, as always) with the couple. Not much more to add that hasn't already been said.

-Bree

[bridget thronton]

Well done isha- ever upward

[PaulaQ]

But I was so hoping you'd get taken to one side and asked to prove your 'gender identity... it would have been really cool to be able to say to one of the TSA folk: "Let's go somewhere private and I'll show you my persoal gender marker - it's a permanent fixture I keep close by me at all times...." ;)


Oh honey, one of the things that keeps me going is the knowledge that the particular gender marker in question is not a permanent feature! :O

@Isha - congrats on the successful flight! I'm glad they are pretty reasonable in Canada. I've heard horror stories about the TSA here in the US - they seem to take particular delight in bothering a transman friend of mine. He's even had to show them his "personal gender markers" once. (The TSA dudes didn't expect that, and were pretty shocked when he lifted his shirt and binder and just let things flop out!)

[TinaZ]

I say this with 100 percent sincerity: you are my hero! Or, more correctly, heroine.

[Persephone]

:cheer: :cheer: :cheer:

Congratulations, Isha, on your journey! Another personal milestone!

Thank you for your military service to all of us, regardless of where we live. And thank you for your wonderful handling of the couple. You are really one terrific lady!

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Amanda M]

Great story Isha! Now, fess up. What is more scary -catching bullets with your teeth or flying pretty?

[Dorit]

Just to show that all is not roses out there yet here is a link to a recent incident at Dallas-Fort Worth airport. The negative reaction from the one couple to Isha was nothing compared to the rage this guy went into because of someone in line he thought was gay! http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/10/26/dallas-airport-fight_n_6051654.html

[donnalee]

Wow! A 12 hour flight; when you do something, you really do it, don't you?
The rude couple are just more proof that *ssholes come in all shapes, sizes, ages, races, professed beliefs and genders. Luckily, they are inherently self limiting; a penchant for borrowing trouble is a decidedly unhealthy practice.
Thank you for your service and this account, which I thoroughly enjoyed.

[Kate Simmons]

Nice you got to fly as Isha my friend. Myself, I have nothing left to prove really. :)

[stacycoral]

Isha, good for you girl standing up for your rights, it sounds like in general everything was good for you, and from one vet to another, thank you for your service, hugs girlfriend.

[Marcelle]

Hi all,

Again thanks for your many kind comments.



Great story Isha! Now, fess up. What is more scary -catching bullets with your teeth or flying pretty?

Hi Amanda. I am going to say "yes" . . . much scarier. :)


Just to show that all is not roses out there yet here is a link to a recent incident at Dallas-Fort Worth airport.

Hi Devorah. Very true and I think it is a thing to remember when out and about that it only takes one irate person to make for a very bad moment. However, the one thing I found interesting about this video is the quick reaction of the man in the cowboy hat to stand up to this jerk and how quickly others came to the victim's rescue. That says more about the kindness of strangers than the stupid ramblings of one sad individual. Still, a very good lesson to remember . . . never take a good experience as an indication of world wide acceptance and always be aware of your situation when out.

Hugs all

Isha

[Eringirl]

Hey Isha! Thank god it all went well. Must admit, I was worried about you the entire week.:nailbiting:

Well done on all fronts! :clap: You looked great. Definitely held up longer than I would have. 12 hours, and it would not have been pretty at all on me!! As others have said, you handled yourself extremely well with the "objectors". Always a class act. I think Isha needs a little pampering as a reward. :)

Hope you are feeling better soon.

Nice to have you back.

:hugs:

Erin

[Jaylyn]

Ok you younger un matured darlings. Lol hey your talking about my generation now. I don't apologize for the old lady saying what she said. Although she may have been rude in the way she said it, you have to remember its because of those older ones we have this freedom to express ourselves. She may have had a brother that died in a war or remembers the terrors of the conflicts that Canada has helped the US in. I remember many of them. I also think we have to be a little forgiving of the old ones as they grew up in a whole different time. And now that I am getting to that stage in my life also I think more of the way times used to be. I'm sorry the old ones said anything Isha, and I hoped they learned from the incident. Folks the elderly are what made us so please remember this when we call them names. Odds are you will be old one day and then you'll see what I mean. I myself would not have said anything but winked and said you looked nice Isha but I am like you and enjoy dressing. Let's be polite to every one especially us older folks. By the way Isha sounds like a great trip except for the incident on the plane. I'm not talking to you Isha in my rant I love the part about and try to be civil. Sometimes us old farts forget the worlds a changing and being an older one it's harder to accept some things.

[Marcelle]

Hi Jaylyn,

No issues on your observations and you are quite right. I normally like to cut "older folks" a lot of slack due to the generational thing much the same way I cut teenagers a lot of slack due to their own hormones and lack of life experience. If the glaring had ceased once I first engaged . . . I would have gone back to my paper and coffee. In this instance the comment hit way to close to home and it was drawing a lot of unwanted bystander curiosity so I wanted to shut it down before it go out of control and ignoring it would only make it seem like I was ashamed of who I am.

My voice never raised above an octave of calm and I took this as an opportunity to educate the couple on the fact that just because I am TG doesn't mean that they have the right to make assumptions about my personal life. Age and wisdom sometimes do not always go hand in hand and while I am sure they have suffered much in life, it does not provide a carte blanche to be outwardly rude to people.

Hugs

Isha

[Bria]

Isha, I'm glad to hear that your long trip didn't involve any of the proof of identity problems that you thought might occur. Your confrontation with the old farts was handled very correctly and is a lesson to all of us that we should not judge the book by its cover, but also to remember how easy it is to do that. We all probably do that almost every time we see someone that we perceive as a homeless person, for example, yet we also know that many homeless are educated, have served in the military, etc.

It is much too common these days for politicians and religious groups to that an absolutist position about something which doesn't reflect reality. My soapbox and 2 cents all in one!

Isha, thanks for your pioneering efforts on behalf of all of us on this forum.

Hugs, Bria

[Danitgirl1]

Way to go Isha! I would have been tempted to pull out my military ID and use my best parade ground voice on them... But I guess that us why you are e real deal (major in the army) and I am a civilian! :-)
Anyway as always you are an inspiration...

[LeslieSD]

That's great. I am so admiring to your courage and not backing down at the critical moment. Thank you for speaking up for all of us. Some people are just too ignorant from their own narrow mindness.

By the way, you dress very tastefully. Lovely outfit.

[Leslie Langford]

Isha, you do realize that this poor woman was scarred for life by all those episodes of M.A.S.H. that she watched in her youth, and in which Cpl. Klinger was featured prominently..? ;)

[Marcelle]

Leslie,

LOL . . . I never thought of it that way.

Hugs

Isha

[lexivanderpump]

Isha,
You are a courageous girl. I dont think I could do what you did. I'm proud of you also for standing up for yourself to that rude couple. I am so glad your experience overall was pleasant.

TBS, maybe the laws are different in Canada, but public transportation(i.e. flying, or riding and driving) is not a right. I understand what you were trying to express, but flying is not a right.

I admire your courage!

Love,
Lexi V.