Cross dressing all consuming ?

[KiwiKate]

Does anyone else out there feel that their desire to cross dress dominates most of there waking moments? I find that especially when I'm not occupied I am generally thinking about dressing up.
It seems to have increased with age(I'm 44) so maybe it's my waning testosterone ! I hardly get the chance to dress so maybe that's why I'm thinking about it so much.If I dressed more often maybe there wouldn't be this constant desire.Then again a part of me wonders if it's always on my mind because it's how I'm supposed to be dressed all the time.It can be confusing.

[aussie cd]

KK , my thoughts are same as yours, they are on the go 24/7 and more intense now at 51 wanting to do more....just let the thoughts be....don't get confused they are there because that is how we are

[Jenniferathome]

Kate, anything that is "all consuming" is unhealthy. Whether is work, exercise or cross dressing. You need to find a moment to relieve the stress and/or when you are thinking of cross dressing, force yourself to do something else. Go for a run, ride a bike, do carpentry, basically, begin to train yourself that there are other options.

[Talisker]

Not really any more consuming than computer games, poker, running etc but a good balance and perspective is needed.

[Kate Simmons]

If you get the opportunity try it 24/7 for awhile and see how you like it then.:)

[claire1d]

Personally I draw the line where the "all consuming" prevents to do other things you might need to do (like work, family) or like to do (hobbies). But when it becomes "all consuming" thoughts when I am not occupied, I just take it as a clue that Claire needs her moment.

[Janine cd]

I had a similar time in my life when crossdressing was on my mind constantly. That period lasted for about six months and then slowly dissipated. Now that I am much older, the urge to dress is much less intent and often goes away entirely for weeks at a time.

[cindychan]

I have the need to crossdress at least i day a week. If that doesn't happen I have a crap week at work which consumes me from all directions. If there is anything consuming about crossdressing it is the time it takes to dress up:heehee:

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Kate, I'll be 72 in a couple weeks and it's always on my mind if I'm not involved with something else.

[Yoshisaur]

I do find that my urge to crossdress is stronger when i'm not occupied, but i'm when busy doing something the urge is still there but I don't really think about it.

[Ally 2112]

Unless you can do it all the time you do need to find something to keep you occupied .When this used to happen to me i took a lot of walks and it did help .Mind you it was not perfect but did relieve some stress

[lingerieLiz]

Well I used to walk a lot. All the neighbor ladies liked to walk with me. They figured it was safer with a guy even if no one passing by could tell.

[Anna H]

i just go ahead and do it all the time. :)

I do not miss guy's clothes ...at all. lol!!

[CarlaWestin]

It's not, ALL consuming! I remember to breath every now and then.

[docrobbysherry]

I had similar issues when I came out of the closet online here about 7 years ago, Kate. It got so bad I couldn't think of anything else during every waking hour. Either thots of dressing or something CD related constantly distracted me from my regular tasks.

I solved my problem this way. Every time I had an idea related to dressing? I would either get what I needed for it or slip out and dress rite away. I slipped away from work, got up in the middle of the nite, whenever a CD thot swept over me? I tried it out ASAP! I did this for nearly 3 months.

Suddenly, the desire to dress went away. And, it didn't return for another 4 months. As it gradually grew, I made a deal with myself. I'll dress whenever I feel compelled to from then on. It turns out that has averaged about 4 times a month every since then. And, my mind is cleared of CD thots most of the time now.

[Janice An]

I do try to plan things around being able to dress every chance I get !!

[donnalee]

Or you could try those other activities while dressed (appropriately, of course), satisfying both desires.

[heather ann martin]

I regard myself as being a woman so I always dress as a woman, but I wouldn't call it "all consuming". I do a lot of other things besides wearing women's clothes!

[sometimes_miss]

It seems to have increased with age(I'm 44) so maybe it's my waning testosterone ! I hardly get the chance to dress so maybe that's why I'm thinking about it so much.
One therapist suggested to me that I had spent so much of my life suppressing the desire to crossdress, that my mind was simply exhausted from it, and so the desire to crossdress simply was able to manifest itself more often in my conscious mind.

[Sarah Beth]

Right now I think about it a lot more because I haven't been able to for over a month now. Is that desire "all consuming" certainly not. Most of the time when I think about it is like now, early morning when I am up and no one else in the house is stirring, or in the evenings when this quiet down. Not that sometimes during a day I see something or hear something that makes me give it a thought, but it's not something I am thinking about constantly. I have way to many other things to worry over.

[Ressie]

I'd say at times CDing becomes a main part of my thought pattern. But most times, my mind is completely on more important things at hand.

At age 44 you should still have plenty of testosterone in your system. Yep, maybe it's because your desire to dress isn't being fulfilled. You should be able to direct your thoughts elsewhere at least some of the time. Maybe you should "do it til you're satisfied" :daydreaming:

[Teresa]

KK,
It's always there, niggling in the brain and in the pit of my stomach ! Every single day I have to work round the thoughts to get other things done ! I've used work to try and bury it and prove I'm a man ! My testosterone levels haven't fallen off yet, goodnees knows when that will happen ? After fifty years along with a DADT situation I'm pretty well worn out with it !
I need time for Teresa now, I can't be expected to deny it any longer, it's too wearing !!

[Sarah Doepner]

Kate,


One therapist suggested to me that I had spent so much of my life suppressing the desire to crossdress, that my mind was simply exhausted from it, and so the desire to crossdress simply was able to manifest itself more often in my conscious mind.

I'm not consumed by the desire to crossdress, but I do dress quite often now. I find something of value in the post by Lexi and wonder if there are times when the combination of desire to dress and the mental fatigue we get attempting to surpress it leads to poor decisions. You may want to find ways to meet the need so you can avoid the extremes of roller coaster crossdressing where binges are balanced by shame or where we find crossdressing more important than those parts of life that enable us to include crossdressing in our lives. Sherry has a valid take on the problem of anticipation of our chance to dress becoming a major distraction to work or family. I don't know if her solution would work for you, but maybe,counseling, writing about it, daily underdressing, a set opportunity to dress or even an extended 24/7 crossdressing vacation will help you cope.

Regardless of what method you try, keep things in perspective if you can. Work and family can suffer until you find the things that work best for you and if that happens, life becomes more complicated, less happy and crossdressing becomes an escape rather than a positive expression of who you are.

[weyburn]

I pretty much sress 24/7 now and I am loving it
Don't feel I am consumed by it as it my choice and getting ready in the morning it doesn't feel right if I don't put a bra and panties etc on

[Jammee]

Being new to it myself, I do think about it a lot. Have really started looking at clothes in different way.

[Isabella Ross]

I have been through times in my life where it has been all-consuming. But I've come closer to finding a healthy balance, since it's just not realistic for me to dress daily or even once a week for that matter. One strategy I have is to dress for bed each and every night...that gives me a "fix" and leaves me clear and refreshed when my man-life comes calling...

[Sharon B.]

If I didn't have other hobbies other then crossdressing it probably would consume me and I would more then likely be living it full-time. As to another post by a member here they mention not missing guy clothes as a woman they can wear guy clothes and nothing is said about it. It is a fashion statement, but as guys when we wear woman's clothes there is something wrong with us.

[NicoleScott]

You said when you're "not occupied", so I would hope that you don't let your thoughts about crossdressing interfere with a normal life and fulfilling your responsibilities at work and home. If this is true, then it's not all-consuming, and that's good.
As one who has spent plenty of time in the pink fog, I know that sometimes it's a struggle to NOT think about it all the time. One of the things that I do is to plan, in detail, for my next dressup session, making sure I have what I need, making lists of things I need to do or buy. When the opportunity to dress comes around, I'm ready. That seems to reduce/relieve the need to obsess over it.

[vicky_cd99_2]

I have a lot of time to think about it throughout the day as I drive 500 miles a day. My mind is constantly racing between different thoughts, but I will bet at least half the time is in a pink fog. I sleep in nighties most nights just to calm the edge.

[Trishpdxcd2]

It can be all consuming but I agree with others here about striking a balance. That is something I am working on myself. I have the opportunity to dress 3 or 4 times a week now and have been immersed in a pink fog of late.

[Stephanie47]

Any activity can become all consuming. Last night I was on the computer checking the prices on books. I had to step away from the computer to go potty. My wife sat down and began playing a game of solitaire while waiting for the dryer to stop. She continuously plays solitaire. It interferes with our interaction. My granddaughter (14) wishes there was no computer in her house because my son ignores his family for hours and hours playing games. Of course, when we have son and his family and my daughter and her husband over, they all keep checking their cell phones for messages, surfing the Internet, etc.

Before I was able to schedule "therapy days" off from work when I could be alone for six hours, I really felt anxiety because I could not dress. I ended up feeding my pent up desires by eBaying and buying lingerie and slips. When I retired and my wife is still working I have a lot of time for being en femme. The first several months after retiring I spent too much time being en femme. I fell behind in my chores. Finally I had my fill. Now, I dress when I feel like some leisure Stephanie time. Some days I am on this site fully en femme. Other times, such as now, I am fully in guy mode- unshaven, jeans, etc.

If you're brain is stuck on cross dressing all the time, it sounds as if you do not have any hobbies, don't read books, etc. If you have any hobbies and like to read, etc, then your mind will also mull over those activities. Balance. Broaden your activities.

[Gina Glowe]

KK, it does seem that the more we are denied, the more attention we force onto getting what we are denied. Getting it (dressing) seems to command every minute of attention until I get it, and then it is a binge party- totally consuming. Looking back over the years, I want to say that this side of me has without a doubt brought me much pleasure-mentally and physically, and much pain- I have wasted a lot of time in a non productive selfish pursuit- and I mean that in a kind way. I wish, looking back that I could have reconcilled my life and lived one life, rather than two -with this one being constantly churning under the surface- yes - CONSUMING. I hoe you find a way to balance on the wire and not be consumed, but be at peace.

[BillieJoEllen]

I think of my crossdressing constantly. Its always seeping into my mind in some form or another. About the only time I don't think about it is when I'm actually crossdressed. In my earlier years when I was in school it was a constant struggle to study, pay attention and get things done. That carried over when I finally became employed. Being in the service was hell on earth because of it.

[BarbDriscoll]

I love my job and I am very grateful to have it. But when I was semi-retired (not totally voluntarily) I had more time for dressing and other interests. And I really miss that. Being able to stay dressed for a whole day was just wonderful. And I do find myself thinking about that during the day.

[sometimes_miss]

I wouldn't say that it's all consuming, but the desire is always there, lurking in the back of my mind, waiting for a chance to express itself. And the more things that stress me out, the less I am able to suppress the desire to crossdress.

[escomaniac1]

I think of it constantly, but because I'm renting a room from a friend so my dressing has dwindled greatly. I miss being able to stay dressed all day and night. I really miss being able to put on make-up and a wig .

[CynthiaD]

Perhaps at one time, but lately I've been pretty busy, and haven't given much thought to crossdressing. In fact, several times lately I've had to force myself to stop what I was doing and go put on a dress. If I don't dress up three or four times a week I start getting really weird. I should dress every day, but I just can't seem to find the time.

[Maureen]

I see everything through the prism of crossdressing. It taints every thought I have. Every show I see, magazine I read, song I hear, woman I see, and thought is tainted by my desire to be feminine.

[Beverley Sims]

I would have thought that in New Zealand you could go out and hunt Venison, fish for whitebait, transplant some shoots of that pretty flower, gorse, rescue possums that have been run over, bathe in boiling mud and a myriad of other past times.... :)
How could cross dressing be all consuming in such a beautiful country?

[suchacutie]

OK, my life does not include a lot of unscheduled time. Nine years ago there was no Tina, so now she occupies a significant amount of time, but so do many other aspects of life. Does a day go by without some thoughts or acts concerning Tina? Of course not! Then again, I could say the same thing about a long list of topics. It's just life!

[Dana3]

Too much of anything can be and isn't necessary a good thing. IMHO if one or one's thoughts are preoccupied with ANY one given thing its because there's a lack of an outlet for it. Recognizing the want, need, desire, for EXPRESSING one's inner desires is the first step toward maintaining a balanced control of such. Failure to recognized and validate the WANT, NEED, AND DESIRE of such is what causes the most problems. Regardless of what the want, need, and desire is.

Once recognized and validated, the want, need, and desire can be channeled into a HEALTY (Mentally, emotionally, psychologically, physically, and even sexually outlet to the benefit of any all.

For me at least, cross dressing is a want, need, and desire to express FEMINITITY an outlet that is traditionally denied to simply because of my physical anatomy ~ which isn't necessary in synch with my BIOLOGICAL sex, etc yada ~ yada!