What is the phenomenon for early crossdressing?

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

I'd like to start a new thread that is related to the thread about when we started crossdressing.

It seems like there's something going on in our psyche that starts us at a very early age. We already know that in the TS realm many know from very early on when they exhibit female behavior that they are female and later take the steps to transition to fulfill the need. Many of us would like to and for many reasons we don't. It all depends on the severity of the dysphoria.

So as far as CD's are concerned who wouldn't think of transitioning, I wonder what it is that causes us to become full blown CD's and enjoy everything about it. I know when I was maybe 4-5 I was acting effiminate and wearing simple clothes from my sisters and Mom. My sisters even painted my nails for fun. Through early school grades I was taunted and called a sissy. It lay dormant but when I was about 11-12 something just "clicked" in my head like a switch turning on. From there on I CD'd and it's now my life.

Any thoughts about a cause?

Cheryl

[Rachael Leigh]

Cheryl it's an age old question and I've given up trying to figure out why I enjoy it. I know as I think about I just love the fabrics in ladies clothes the colors and the feeling of being in a bra or hose.
It's never made since and no don't want to transistion but if I'm going to dress I want to do my best at emulating a women as I can.

[Ally 2112]

i started at a young age and years later it is still a mystery.All i know is i have always liked it and always will

[Amy Fakley]

As far as a cause, I couldn't tell you. I suspect nobody really can, though there are a few of theories that float around here.

About all I can tell you is that just about from the minute that my mind developed enough to understand "boys are like this and girls are like that", I was unhappy with my role in that situation. Maybe one of the first and most obvious ways that I felt the edges of the box I'd been crammed into, was clothes.

Girls got pretty clothes and I wanted pretty clothes too. It felt like those were the clothes I was supposed to wear, but instead I got blue jeans and t-shirts. Later on when I got the opportunity to actually wear some girl clothes, it felt really really good, and that is something that's stayed with me my whole life.

I don't know that there was a "cause" for this any more than there was a "cause" for my baby brain to figure out how to walk on two feet. It's like it came pre-loaded from the factory. That's just what this model of human does, LOL.

[Amy Lynn3]

You repeated a question many have ask before you and I have ask in my mind over and over again, but no concrete answer yet, as to why. I love to crossdress and at my age I'm sure the urge will never stop until I leave this world.

I don't think I have posted this before, but I have an even deeper question in my mind. I started to crossdress before I was ever old enough for my mind to record. Many in my family have told me that I would take all my sisters panties and wear them and then put then under my bed. What urged me to do that at that young age ? I dunno !:battingeyelashes:

[Annaliese]

I believe it with us from the time we are conceived, it come on strong at different time in our lives.

[Kate Simmons]

Well we are born half a woman anyway chromosome wise. I guess some of us just have a "lazy Y" chromosome.:)

[Teresa]

Cheryl,
Maybe goes right back to conception, we are all conceived female and during development deviate from female to male. At birth we have carry overs that may or may not develope, part of us must remain female ! My dressing was and is still sexual, I want to share it with women but don't want to become one ! I use to try and avoid dress up games so I didn't give my CDing away but ended up finding two GFs that were Ok with my CDing . When I got married I thought it would stop and that's when the guilt and shame started !

[Daryl]

I started doing it in my mid 20's. After my mom died. I started with some of her panty girdles. Then later on
I would by panties and panty hose. I would wear them when I would be working out of town. It just kept
progressing on from there to where I am today.

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

I suppose there is truth to the fact that males all start out as primarily female in utero. And I woukld surmise that for some the development become stronger in some degree to be either fully male, or on a scale, partially female. That could mean a scale where we have enough of a female brain to CD, or on a stronger end of the scale, become TS.

I only know that I loved the many parts of being a girl long before I knew anything about gender identity. I do know that my mother was under a lot of stress in my 7th-8th months of her pregnancy. I've read that this can be a cause for the way we are maybe due to an infusion of female hormones in our brains. Hope this might make sense.

Cheryl

[Jenniferathome]

I was a jock as a kid. Played every sport and played well. I've never been effeminate. And I'm a cross dresser. It's gentic.

[heather ann martin]

I've just always been very effeminate. I've absolutely no idea why. It's just the way I am.

[JayeLefaye]

Hi Cheryl,

Thanks for asking, because it's a wonderful question!

I'm trying a "cut & paste" here, because you asked: "Any thoughts about a cause"...So I'm just gonna let 'er rip:-)...And add another "preface", to say that I told my wife, a therapist(with several LGBTQ-Transitioning clients), this whole story recently, and even SHE had no clue to what lay beneath:-)...So, I apologize in advance for the length of it, but you asked, so here goes...

I’ll preface this by saying that I was “all boy”, without any inkling of the Feminine within. It’s not that I thought girls were icky, it’s just that they were useless in regards to knowing how to throw or kick a ball or eat mud or just generally get muddy & dirty. I NEVER wanted to be one of them or EVER envied them.

And then came a Saturday afternoon in 1962. I was 7 years old and left alone for a few hours while my parents and siblings were out running errands. I was watching a “Creature Feature” on TV. “The Creature From the Black Lagoon”…Editors Note: I saw the movie again 20 years later at a “Retro Movie Theater”, and my initial observation was still valid regarding “The Scene”.

THE SCENE: A small boat exploring, for Botanical Purposes, the Black Lagoon…Captain, First Mate, Local Guide, Hot Chick(hereafter referred to
as Ginger:-) ) …And The Creature…

No one on the boat knew of The Creature’s existence at that point. Ginger decided to go for a swim. She wore a white one-piece swim suit, very modest. She dove off the side of the boat and started doing the back-stroke across the lagoon.

The Audience had seen The Creature, but no one in the film had…So there Ginger was, doing an innocent backstroke on the top of the water…And five feet below her, The Creature was mimicking her every move…Was The Creature gonna eat her?!?! Kill her?!?....

The next thing I knew, I had on a pair of my mom’s black panties and was doing the back-stroke across the living room floor.

It wasn’t that I wanted to look like Ginger. What I “wanted” was to feel her vulnerability!

Four Macho Dudes on the boat, oblivious to the real danger, and one Ginger, innocent and vulnerable…And one Creature, with no evil intent.

The Creature had fallen in love…Think King Kong,…All I knew, at the age of 7, was that I needed to know how that Damsel in Unknown Distress felt.

The movie ended…Life went on…I went back to All Boy without a second thought.

7 years later: I stumbled upon my older sisters “things” in the family clothes hamper. I wasn’t consciously looking for them, but there they were(insert several years/decades..Yada yada) No big deal, just a fetish that was occasionally indulged in while going through life. It, the CDing, was never a real issue.

40 years later: I was finally free to explore. I discovered Crossdressers.com(although I didn’t become a member)…I discovered that the local community I had built for myself was “encouraging”…I discovered that I was free to explore my natural inclination toward wanting to experience The Feminine Within…And I did!!

50 years later: Life is Good!!!

I can’t speak for those who have been born into the wrong gender/body…Bless your hearts and I pray for safe travels along your path…

I can’t speak for those who still see CDing as a Sexual Fetish…Although I DO think that they ought to take some time to delve a little deeper and give themselves a chance to outgrow that phase.

I can only speak for myself; Something that I was born with needed to identify with The Feminine, and I am thankful, that I can identify with The Feminine through every day actions, whether I am dressed or not.

Jaye

[Laura28]

I am not sure why or how it started, i know when i was young i tried my mothers stuff when left alone at home, and have been dressing off and on all my life. AS i have gotten older maybe the last 5 years or so the urge is much stronger and i want to dress fully, when younger i never owned a wig or forms or make up. now i have so many wigs and clothes, shoes makeup jewerly. Why now why as hit my 50 do i feel the need to dress up totally? I have no idea. I was a Jock as a kid played Hockey since i could walk, never afraid to get in a fight when i was young. Overall did all the Boy stuff and did it wth a gusto... Must be a gentic thing i guess. Maybe as we get older the testrone levels are reduced and we embrace dressing more???

[Janine cd]

I am not sure that the genetic argument is correct but it seems to be the only logical explanation. I saw myself as a boy wishing to be a girl from as young as 4.

[Angie G]

Whatever the cause I glad it happend to me. And I've loved it from the first time I put something girly on.thinking back I must have benn younger then 10.:hugs:
Angie

[Adriana Moretti]

could it be curiosity ??? I found something at a young age, said "hmmmm I like the way this feels, I am going to try it on".....I dont think to much on the why's...........they will make your head spin......I just roll with it.

[SamanthaSometimes]

I am not sure that the genetic argument is correct but it seems to be the only logical explanation.

My wife and I are in a DADT relationship but I brought up the CD subject because she had recently taken some clothes which I thought was in a mutually agreed upon "safe zone". Of course the conversation turned into more than just talking about missing clothes. During that conversation she said "someone must have dressed me up as a girl when I was very young because no man would just just put on women's clothes". She is unaccepting and intolerant so I would expect nothing less from her. But her narrow viewpoint did make me think this is even further (objective) evidence that CDing is genetic and gender is truly a spectrum and not binary. From her viewpoint, she is right. No male would just adorn women's attire given their entire gender premise is based solely upon binary. As children, at a very early age before socially established taboos are known or affect our behavior, a propensity to explore and enjoy the other gender's world by wearing female clothes, cosmetics, nail polish, etc. can rationally (not empirically) be explained by genetics. Is the desire for and satisfaction of children to 'cross dress' any different than children who show early penchant and talent for music, art, math, mechanics, etc.? Aren't all of those genetic too before environment begins to shape adolescent behavior?
Of course the early childhood case for CD pointing to genetics doesn't translate to 'late bloomers' so perhaps, and most likely, there are other dynamics for CDing at play too.
I gave up on the 'why?' some time ago. I just embrace the CDing for what it is to me and cope the best I can.

[Allison Chaynes]

I don't think there is "a" cause. Maybe there's a genetic component for some, maybe it's environment, maybe it's how you were raised, who knows? I know my mom thought I was going to be born a girl and had a name picked out, but until I was 12, I never had any CD urges. I don't know why, but my friend's mom had laundry sitting out on their couch and for some reason I felt the urge to try on her panties as soon as I was alone.

I've punched every slot on my "man card"- sports, army vet, hunting, etc. After facing death a few weeks ago, I feel like I have a lot left unfinished with Allison. I don't understand it, but I'm ok with it.

[JenniferR771]

Science major here. Crossdressing is not likely to be genetic as then it would run in families--it would be revealed. (Check your parents and kids, OK?)
What would happen if a crossdresser married a crossdressing woman?
I think it is more likely to be a non-genetic in-utero effect. Maybe like left handed. Maybe like homosexuality. Maybe like having a twin brother.

[StephanieinSecret]

I can remember little bits and pieces from my past, but no real "why".

The first time i tried on panties, (also the first exclusively female clothing item ever), i wasn't aroused. I was literally too young. i was simply curious about what it felt like. I was instantly jelous of the incredibly soft texture- but after a moment, i changed back into boy underwear and carried on with my day.

A few years later, i was truly pubescent, and sexual thoughts began to play a role. As of now, i like to fantasize about being vemale, but I lnow I do not wish to transition. It can be puzzling, though, when the "pink fog" descends and all I want to do is dress.

[gwen55]

My gender events.




When I was 3. This is my earliest memory, it was morning, and I was the first to awake. It may have been winter, or a weekend, because my dad was home and he worked construction.

I believe my mother was hoping for a girl when she had me, I have an older brother, and in my room was a large doll. My mom had gotten it at a baby shower. I liked to play with the doll. I knew the doll was a girl because it wore a dress, and I was a boy because I didn’t have any dresses. But I wanted one.

That morning, I decided I wanted to put the dress on. Everyone else was asleep.
I took the dress off the doll. I took off my pajamas, and put the dress over my head, like I seen my mom do. I was a small child, and the doll was almost as tall as me. I pulled the dress down and flattened it against me, like I seen my mom do. It fastened behind my head, It was a hook and eye like on a bra. I didn’t know how it worked. I knew about snaps from my plastic pants. And I knew it stayed together. So I put my hands behind my head and pushed them together and it just happened to hook.

I was in my first dress. I spun to make it go out and enjoyed the open feeling.

For some reason, I knew I should take it off before my brother or parents woke. I reached behind me and tried to pull it apart like snaps, but I couldn’t. I knew I needed mom to help me out of it.

I went to my parents room. They were still sleeping. My dads side of the bed was closest to the door. I snuck in real quite, around to my moms side of the bed, and tugged on her arm. She looked at me, and I said, “I cant make it come off mom”, My mom smiled and helped me get out of the dress.




6 years old

I have an older brother, when my mother had me she was hoping for a girl. As I grew to be a toddler, and a young boy, there were toys for me that were dolls, paper dolls and a similar toy that was like a plastic version of paper dolls that was my favorite. You would place the cut out dresses and skirts onto the figures and they would stick. There were accessories also like different hair, purses, shoes, and jewelry.

Other pleasant memories were, in the evenings, mom would hold me on her lap and paint my nails. When she would go out, I would watch her put on her makeup, she would put lipstick on me and give me a touch of perfume. And when she had her friends over, they would sit around the table and talk. Sometimes they would comment on how pretty a girl I would have made, I was small, slim, they would comment on my long eyelashes and shape of my nails.

I had a first cousin that I would play with a few times a year at family get-together. I would listen to the stories her mom would tell about her, and things she did in her “girl world”. I enjoyed the stories, and we would play “house” pretending to be adults. I loved the clothes she wore, the dresses, ruffled socks.

I believe I was in the first grade when I had my first communion at church. I remember going to the classes and instruction. The preparation and rehearsal at the church, and than the day arrived. We were to meet in the church basement. I didn’t pay any attention to what we were to wear, our parents knew about that and as a child I wore what my mom told me to put on. Us boys were to wear black pants and a white shirt. So I was dressed and my mom took me to the church basement, and I couldn’t believe what I saw. The girls dresses were so pretty, I had never seen anything so pretty. I saw the girls moms helping them get everything just right. Even lifting up there hems and adjusting their petticoats. There white gloves, I couldn’t take my eyes off them. I went to my mom and ask why us boys just wore black pants and a white shirt, but the girls got to dress so pretty. I told her I wanted a dress, I wanted to look like them. I started to cry pleading to put on a first communion dress. My mom took me outside as I was beginning to make a scene. She told me, I was a boy, and just girls wore dresses. She calmed me down and kept me out side until I got over it.

Not long after, I was at school at recess. And I was playing with another boy. And I said to him, “ I wish I were a girl, girls get to do everything, don’t you wish you were a girl?” He looked at me funny, he said “NO”, he said he was glad he was a boy, and then he didn’t play with me any more. I knew then, than I shouldn’t say things like that. I am a boy, live with it.

[CherylFlint]

Gender identity starts at birth: blue for boys, pink for girls.
When I was a little kid (3 and 4) I wanted to play with dolls and dress as a girl, but I was given drab things to wear and trucks and cars to push around the floor.
Such is life, so we make the most of it with what we got.
Enjoy being a CD, because it’s who we are and you owe it to yourself to treat yourself right.

[jayme357]

Tis a dilemma. I was 5 or so when I started wearing my mothers clothing and using her cosmetics. Think 1940. No communications and no way to understand even if there was. The urge never went away. The option of "transitioning" was never a consideration since that option didn't exist. One just continued with life.

More years than I can count pass and the urge has never gone away yet here I am having lived a very productive life as a male. I would give anything if I had abandoned my male life and had become the Christine Jorgensen of my era. It just wasn't an option in my time. So, I continue to play make believe and mourn the loss of the real me who only existed in my dreams.

[Tinkerbell-GG]

I was born with needed to identify with The Feminine, and I am thankful, that I can identify with The Feminine through every day actions, whether I am dressed or not.

Jaye

Jaye, I can't help feeling you're mixing up feminine with submission and vulnerability. Many, many do this here, yet if anyone here had actually walked a mile in a woman's life they'd fast realise that women are some of the toughest people you'll meet. I think we're tougher and more resilient than men. But somehow, because we're physically weaker and our clothes just happen to be prettier, it's become assumed that feeling vulnerable and gentle means you're feeling feminine.

So maybe crossdressing is a male version of feminine and then there are actual females and the two have very little in common once you scratch below the surface.

[JayeLefaye]

Jaye, I can't help feeling you're mixing up feminine with submission and vulnerability. Many, many do this here, yet if anyone here had actually walked a mile in a woman's life they'd fast realise that women are some of the toughest people you'll meet. I think we're tougher and more resilient than men. But somehow, because we're physically weaker and our clothes just happen to be prettier, it's become assumed that feeling vulnerable and gentle means you're feeling feminine.

So maybe crossdressing is a male version of feminine and then there are actual females and the two have very little in common once you scratch below the surface.

Valid point Tink, and thanks for reading enough of my post to catch that. Rest assured that "submission and vulnerability" are not in my definition of the Feminine. Throughout history, the resilience and strength of women has been underestimated by the male culture, which is a pity!

All I was really getting at regarding that one scene, was that I didn't identify with the macho dudes who should be coming to her rescue. It's just that for that one moment, for reasons I can't explain, my 7 year old brain identified with the woman...And then I went back to being a dirt-loving boy...Was weird......But in the MANY years since then, well, let's just say that, thankfully, my understanding of genders has expanded, leaving me still clueless in many ways, but life's a journey, and I just want to keep advancing down the trail, wherever it may lead.

Jaye

[Confucius]

Cheryl, I really believe cross-dressing begins with the way our brains are hard-wired in very early childhood. It is a form of synesthesia, a crossing of neurons where activity in one pathway causes an automatic and involuntary response in a second neurological pathway.

In our first three years of life our brains are making neurological connections at a feverish rate (700-1000 neurological connections per second), and by the age of three you have many more neural connections than at adulthood. This period is followed by neurological pruning where, through the learning process, some nonsense connections are cut while others are reinforced. Now many of our life experiences during this period are lost because of childhood amnesia (most people have no memories of their first three years). However, I believe that most adult crossdressers experienced some sort of female envy during their first three years, and this became hard-wired in their brains. From this point onward their brain will respond to cross-dressing as actual contact with a female. Therefore, when you were an adolescent and you experimented with cross-dressing, for whatever reason, your brain responded (automatically and involuntarily) just as if you were in contact with a female.

This is why most men can cross-dress and not feel anything special but embarrassment, and others, like ourselves, experience a rush of neurotransmitters (dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin and others) that produce sensations of well-being and gratification. It's hard-wired in our brains from an early age.

In my case, my mother really, really wanted a daughter when she got me. However when I was just 6 months old she found herself pregnant again. This time she gave birth to my sister. My mother would often tell us the story of my sister's birth and how that was the happiest day of her life. My sister was my mother's little princess. She was pampered and treasured. I grew up believing that all parents preferred girls because they were more virtuous, smarter, prettier, and just nicer than boys. Girls got all the attention, all the pretty things, all the love. And, I also believed that my mother would have loved me more if I was born a girl. That was my childhood reality. As I grew and matured my reality changed, and I learned to appreciate being male, however by brain was already hard-wired.

[Isabella Ross]

I have no idea, and while I'm still curious as to why I am the way I am, it's no longer my life's mission to figure it out. One thing is for sure: we are born the we are; we're not the product of some forced fem episode in our childhoods, TV ads, alien abductions, etc.

[Lorileah]

I want to make a point here. We do not start as female Genetically you are at the least XY, not XX. There are some who may have an extra gene that adds and X (*Like XYX or XXY) and the development of the embryo can be mixed (pseudohermaphrodite and hermaphrodite) but you are not made female and then changed to male. Technically all embryos appear the same in that stage of development...the genes direct the external genitalia as the embryo matures. The argument is specious at best because you start with a tail also....that doesn't mean you started as a new world monkey.

If there were one simple answer to the OP, we wouldn't have this site. Things would be "corrected" as the medical community likes to do early on.

[Savannah_Skye]

Ever since I can remember my gender identity just did not fit into "normal" society. My first encounters with cross-gender behaviors came when I was five, possibly earlier, and I enjoyed being a girl even though it was forbidden. Thinking back I was just naturally attracted to more feminine things such as dresses and nail polish. No one informed me being a princess was incorrect, but the first time in a dress was truly a wonderful experience as I felt myself. So maybe there is something with brain chemistry or wiring but in reading experiences and reflecting on my own, it seemed to come about naturally even if another event helped draw it out.

Although there may have been an internal cause for my first impulses and continued cross-dressing, I wonder if part of the "cause" relates to perceptions of gender identity and the assignment to remain in a particular identity. Nobody appears to be looking for the cause of gender "compliant" behavior, but reaching outside that box seems to cause alarm. After all, I am just being me and expressing what I feel defines me. Sorry don't mean to rant, but I feel the cause wouldn't be as challenging (maybe just for me:battingeyelashes:) if society did not adhere to these assignments.

[Gina Glowe]

I am sure that if you could unravel that one, and you set up a couch, you could be set for life- I have studied and studied, and hypothesized etc about so many things- is it related to the added female hormones in the milk? Did my mother cause it when she scolded me for exposing myself in public when I was four?(weird,right?) Is it just a product of our times, where the man has acquired a softer role in the modern world -as opposed to hunter /killer/provider. Is it related to something that happens in the brain in the womb? If i were to attempt to come up with a reason again, i would have to admit that in my case, I started on a particular day -very young, with no prodding, or assistance, for no immediate apparent reason. There I was in the bathroom, wearing my mother's stockings. It almost seems that it was predetermined- my mother was a great mom- loving and even keeled with all of us- o well, this doesn't answer anything, just another point of view. I still to this day believe that I am a two edged sword- male and female. and I do not have a clear cut answer why.......

[Debra Russell]

I remember first wearing my sisters silky slip under my clothes when I was about 3-4 yr's old and cd'ed when I could in private ever after that - prayed to wake as a girl at about 14 (not gona happen:sad:) - did all male stuff sports ect. all through school - married 47 yr's and the wife knows but does not really understand. I have experienced all most every cd experience and relate to everyone here - at times really wish I was truly born different but live with what I have/am a crossdresser not totally accepted and still don't know why my self....God bless us all...................................Debra

[LilSissyStevie]

Jaye, I can't help feeling you're mixing up feminine with submission and vulnerability.

I think you are mixing up femininity and women.:eek: In fact, that's what crossdressing is all about. Submissiveness and vulnerability have been associated with femininity since...like... forever. The problem is, like you say, that it doesn't really describe what women are like any more than masculinity describes men. Femininity and masculinity are not descriptions, they're just a bunch of culturally based rules, regulations, expectations and associations for the sexes. There is no way that anyone can be inherently feminine or masculine. This is obvious when we look across different cultures, classes and eras. The rules change all the time. But, we're kind of stuck with what we inherit from our cultural milieu.

In my case, being an overly sensitive, vulnerable, submissive boy led me, because of the cultural associations I inherited, to identify with femininity rather than masculinity. And since femininity was also associated with dresses, etc. You get the picture - in for a penny, in for a pound. But I don't pretend that anything I do, which might be considered a cross gender activity, has anything to do with being a woman. That should be clear as mud.

[Amy Fakley]

It's interesting to me, how this topic of "what is the cause?" Is like a coral reef on this forum. This massive thing that never dies and is so calcified you could build a city on it ... and figuratively, many of us do. Just look at how invested some of us are in our explanations!

I think maybe that's because the question is loaded. The question: "What made you start crossdressing?", is really just sort of a proxy for "whose fault is this?" ... which is really just a proxy for "am I a bad person?"

I am firmly of the opinion that being a crossdresser cannot make you a bad person in and of itself. So does it even matter if it's a simple trick of brain chemistry or if our mothers and sisters inadvertently gave us ideas, or if it's genetic or even if we're all self deluded and could walk away in an instant if we wanted to? My experience points toward it being an innate thing from birth, but I really don't think it matters.

Crossdressing does not make you a bad person. Obviously, lots of people out in the world disagree with me on that point, but all of us here know it's true. Being self centered, inconsiderate, hurting others ... those things make you a bad person, and no matter which way you slice it those things are a matter of choice, regardless of whether crossdressing is or not.

[AlexisRaeMoon]

Amy, this is one of the best posts I've ever read! It's funny how the most concise, simple statements, "Crossdressing does not make you a bad person," can have so much meaning. I'd never thought of it that way, but I don't think we'd spend so much asking ourselves these questions if there wasn't still deep-seeded belief that what we do is somehow "wrong." I know I've struggled with it my whole life. The very first time I tried on some of my mother's clothes and heels, when I was like 13, I was consumed by guilt afterwards. I distinctly remember thinking, "oh my god, I can never undo this. For the rest of my life I will have to live with the knowledge that I tried on women's clothing. What have I done?" You'd think I committed a mortal sin!

I still struggle with the guilt to this day. It's hard not to in this society. But thank you for this little ray of sunshine. Every little bit helps! :heehee:

[Dianne S]

Science major here. Crossdressing is not likely to be genetic as then it would run in families--it would be revealed.

I think there is a genetic component to people being on the transgender spectrum, whether "just" crossdressers or transsexuals. Obviously, it's not as simple as a "crossdressing gene" but I bet there is some statistically-significant increase in the likelihood that someone is transgender if someone in their family is.


(Check your parents and kids, OK?)

Anecdotal, I know, but after I came out to my family, my sister told me that a cousin of mine had crossdressed. I knew the cousin, but had no idea he was CD.

[Cheryl Ann Owens]

Wow! So many answers and so many great insights. I don't think any of us in our lifetimes will ever know the real answer. I suppose it is what it is. I just know that I love everything feminine and now that I'm retired I can enjoy being me. I only wish I could be more passable and move about freely as in doing errands or shopping. Were I able to interrupt puberty and be able to live ambigously I would have. But that's in hindsight. Nature has unfortunately made me appear as a biological male for all these years.

Before puberty I really enjoyed being a girl at any opportunity. It just felt right. When the hormones kicked in I really hated the changes to my voice and development. I hated shaving and becoming a gawky guy. But I followed the expectations of society. Yes, there was a slight sexual element to my CDing but feel I envied and was attracted to women to just be one. Today my sexual desire is just about zero and it feels like I'm reverting back to pre-puberty living as a woman, which I do.

Whatever the cause or however we're predisposed, I'm just happy being me.

Cheryl

[Lorna]

Contributors to this discussion are to be congratulated on the high quality of their expressed ideas and their clarity. It is good to read such well-written comments.

What is clear is that there are very many routes by which we have come to our interest and practice in cross-dressing. A sizeable proportion of contributors see it as beginning in very young childhood or even in the womb. Many attribute their interest to observation (and even envy) of a close female sibling. For some, the early interest developed into total transition while, for others, it has remained more like a hobby or provides a degree of comfort or satisfaction. Quite a few writers describe a feeling of being in the wrong gender or of always sensing femininity rather than masculinity. It is clear that all these are sincerely held attributions.

In my case, I don't recall ever wishing I was a girl or envying girls in my childhood years. I had no sisters and no close female relatives. It was only when I began to notice girls as physically attractive (around the age of 13) that I also began to notice their clothing and became curious about what it must feel like to wear those clothes. I didn't want to be a girl: I was quite happy being a boy, but I wished it had been acceptable to wear girls' clothes. Instead I had to content myself with trying my mother's things (the only source of female clothing) until I was quite a bit older. Having said that, while I wouldn't see myself, and don't think others see me, as effeminate, I am nevertheless not a macho male. I am not keen on most sport, dislike violence, guns, war, etc intensely, and can often empathise with women's point of view.

For me, then, I think it's heavily weighted towards nurture rather than nature and towards physical sensations rather than attitudes of mind.

[Beverley Sims]

I blamed the Atom Bomb years ago.

Then it was daylight saving.

Now I believe it is cellphone radiation.

Any other theories? :)

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Cheryl, For almost 68yrs. it's just who I am , And it's just who I am.:daydreaming:

[sabrinaedwards]

I have read many posts that say it does not matter as to the reason why we cross dress, and I do not know the reason why. I wish that I had a clue as to why I CD in that I am in a DADT relationship.I wish I could explain to my SO as to why I CD, when I cannot understand it myself. As I have posted previously, I am a successful male. That being stated, I love being totally dressed. The only analogy for me is that I am like a light switch, one position I am male and the other female. My theory is the two personas do not meld together, we are either on or the other.
Love, Sabrina

[Jeninus]

I lean toward the theory that in the 6th or 8th week of gestation there is a hormone wash through the fetus' brain that helps direct it toward being hardwired as male or female. If the wash is not of sufficient strength, the brain may be somewhat closer to the middle of the bell curve between being 100% male or female. So I don't think it's genetic, simply an accident that might reflect the mother's stress or state of health during that critical stage. It is a theory, not fact, but I find it persuasive.

In my case, one of my earliest memories was at the age between 3 and 4. It was in England and I was following my mother and grandmother and admiring the way their skirts swayed from side to side and watching their legs with their seamed stockings (this was probably some time in 1946). At age 5, in Canada, I found my mother's corset, put it on and wandered into the front yard. At age 10 I had my little collection of nylons. At age 13, at a church YPF retreat there was a contest to see who could be the most masculine girl and feminine boy. That was exciting, getting clothes and make-up help from the girls - and of course I was the proud winner of "most feminine boy."

After a couple of years of marriage my wife found out. After the initial crisis, she became fully accepting and we've been happy since. Yes, I always wanted to be a girl, but am content as I am now since I can dress as much as I want at home and do get to go out occasionally en femme with my wife and a couple of gay friends, who also accept me as I am. I think being CD/TG does make us better, gentler husbands and more empathetic toward women and their issues.

Certainly, when you are out en femme, you can feel that vulnerability that women feel - and it isn't the fear of being outed that I am thinking of.

[fiseldon5]

What greater tribute can you pay than to become more and more like the girls you love

[Tinkerbell-GG]

Fiseldon, it depends if you want the girls to love you back. Flowers are definitely higher on the tribute list :)

And I find all these theories fascinating. Lorna's yours fits my H the best. His was nurture, too, and it is still a tactile experience for him. But I also think there are as many reasons as there are men who dress. As for the genetics theory and how transgender can sometimes be found in families, my guess is that's nothing more than a coincidence as latest research suggests up to 10% of men crossdress so at some point you're going to hit these statistics in a family.

[Tina B.]

I've cross dressed for over 60 years, and I can tell you with precision just why I dress, I remember that day so well. I was around 6 years old, and had been told to go take a bath, when I got into the bathroom and closed the door, there on the back of the door hanging on a hook, was my big sisters full slip. White, silky, and so feminine, I had to try it on, and it felt good. After that, any thing any female in the family left in the bathroom was fair game. I had to wait a few years before getting to stay home alone, but when it finally happened I found my little slice of heaven.
What made me want to wear that slip, who knows, and if I hadn't tried it on, would my life have been any different, I doubt it. If not that slip, I'm sure something else would have caught my attention, because, it felt so right, I'm sure it was meant to be.
But then by the time I was 5 I had already been an honorary girl scout with my sisters troop, so in my case, I just realized for the first time, it might be Nurture in my case, although, I have always prescribe it to hormones in the womb.
Until now, I had forgotten my time as a girl scout.

[Jennifer in CO]

Bev - sun spots and ozone depleation

[Ressie]

when I got into the bathroom and closed the door, there on the back of the door hanging on a hook, was my big sisters full slip.

I urge all women to keep their clothing in a locked closet to prevent boys from trying anything on!


if I hadn't tried it on, would my life have been any different, I doubt it.

This is unknown, but curious young boys tend to find a way because they're CDs at heart!

[sometimes_miss]

It lay dormant but when I was about 11-12 something just "clicked" in my head like a switch turning on. Any thoughts about a cause? Cheryl
11-12 is around onset of puberty. Whether you feel sexual urges when crossdressing or not, a lot of things change in our brains besides sexual desires when the hormones really start to flow in huge amounts during those years. Although no studies have been done (afaik), I believe that gender identity starts becoming permanant during those years as well.

Edit: One of the problems with the concept of genetic causes of crossdressing is, of course, that we have only had gender specific attire for less than 1% of the history of our species. There isn't enough time for such a gene to manifest itself and spread to 2.5% of the male population, also considering that those who have it are less likely to reproduce (or even survive long enough to reproduce, especially in more primitive times where feminine males were even more likely to be shunned from the 'tribe') in the first place.

[wannabeGirl84]

This is unknown, but curious young boys tend to find a way because they're CDs at heart!

You are so right.. haha.. not so young now... but I am still a CD at heart... the closet one though

[Jorja]

I never really liked early crossdressing. That meant setting the alarm early and crawling out of bed way too early in the morning. So a couple of snips and a tuck or two and all I have to do is roll out of bed and get dressed. Of course I am not crossdressing anymore. Oh well, works for me. ;)

[Nikkilovesdresses]

To Gwen55,

What astonishing clarity you have about those early experiences. I found your post very moving, thank you for sharing those memories. I had been quietly wondering how many of us heard, consciously or perhaps unconsciously, our mothers say they wanted a girl. My own mother has said this several times, though I know how deeply she loves me, how proud she is of me- I'm an only child, so she never did get to play dress-up-the-girlie as she would have liked. Did/does part of me want to make 'mummy' happy in that regard? I don't think I ever had any experiences like yours in infancy, where you and your mother had such an open dialogue about the subject, but all the same I do wonder about my unconscious motivations. Your mother sounds like a peach!

xNikki

[CONSUELO]

This is the age old question for us CDers. I was raised in a family of females with three sisters who dressed me at a very young age. I remember my Father telling me to pull up my pants like a man rather than the way I was doing it which apparently was the way girls did it. Did it mean anything; who knows?

[BarbDriscoll]

Mom never said she wished I'd been a girl. But she did often say she would have loved to have had a little girl to dress up (I was an only child, not by her choice). And when I was young and cute I got a lot of "too bad he wasn't a girl" remarks from relatives and her friends. Did she ever dress me up? If she did I have no memory of it. Years later when I first crossdressed it was her stuff I got into, many, many, many times. I can't believe I was that good at putting her stuff back perfectly every single time. She HAD to have known, but nothing was ever said. Guilt? I'll never know.

[Ressie]

I never really liked early crossdressing. That meant setting the alarm early and crawling out of bed way too early in the morning. So a couple of snips and a tuck or two and all I have to do is roll out of bed and get dressed. Of course I am not crossdressing anymore. Oh well, works for me. ;)

I hear we're supposed to turn our clocks back an hour tonight. Those that forget may be crossdressing too early!

[Jammee]

I was asked when I began thinking or wanting to do just recently by my wife. I'm not really sure. I have always enjoyed looking at womens clothing, especially the panties and lingerie. I guess seeing that it was "unexceptable" in my era of youth just never pushed forward to express. Have been open with wife for short period, and just told my son ( so if the robe opens and wearing hot pink panty and bra, he doesn't go into shock) I really wish I would have done so years earlier, to perhaps have enjoyed for longer time. The wife made a comment that " I have looked really happy lately" and wonder if letting it out to her is the reason. However I truly believe we cannot live in the past and wonder what may have been, so for now just going to enjoy the new found freedom!!

[Wildaboutheels]

Every Human on the planet is the product of Nature PLUS Nurture to some degree and all CDers are Humans. The evidence for this [at this site alone] is overwhelming to anyone who actually takes the time to read other's responses.

Another big piece of the puzzle for many plain ol CDers rarely discussed for whatever reason, is failed/frustrating Relationships.

It's not complicated.

And endless obfuscation over when someone started is irrelevant given the mountain of evidence that supports the obvious.

[Nikki.Kontos]

I remember when I was around 6/7 my mum would dress me on the odd occasion, she didn't work so had time on her hands. Even then I remember enjoying it and been exploring it ever since!

[Jacqueline1965]

One of my earliest memories is of seeing my mother and aunt walking around my grandparent's house in their nylon panties and bras. I must have been about 3-4 years old. Then I remember going into my mother's drawer and putting on her panties. She caught me but laughed it off. I have always been very into tactile experiences...I love those soft blankets with the satin ribbon around the edge. I used to rub my hand around the ribbon just to feel the texture of the satin. There is nothing more tactile than lingerie on your skin. I have been fascinated with women's clothing and lingerie every since those first experiences way back when. I have cross dressed to one degree or another for over 45 years and have worn lingerie exclusively since 1988 and women's jeans exclusively since 2003. It's just something that is normal for me to do. The thought of wearing tight whites is just awful in fact I do not own any Jockeys any more, only panties. I have well over 500 pairs but that's another story. I believe that we are born with a predisposition to cross dress and then certain circumstances or feelings trigger the behavior. Then it all just progresses based on how strong the feelings are and the ability of the person to express those feelings. I have been very lucky in that my HS girlfirend knew and was supportive and my SO has been incredibly supportive over the past 27 years. BTW I was "all boy" growing up playing with GI Joe's and sports in school.

[Vicky_Scot]

It is often wrongly assumed that a person chooses to be transgender and one day decides they want to live the remainder of their life as transgender .This couldn't be further from the truth. Transgender is established sometime during pregnancy, probably in the first three months and certainly well before an individual is able to make a choice.

Genetics is the branch of science that deals with how you inherit physical and behavioural characteristics - including genetic and inherited medical conditions - Crossdressing is not genetic.

[BlkNYLONS]

Each has there own story to share, and I for sure have asked myself the question why and how my cross dress interested started? I don't have the answer for sure or why I had such an early fetish and attached object of obsession.

Everything about my childhood seemed very normal from my boy interests and hobbies, I think. I was all boy with a passion for cars and baseball. I loved building model cars and playing baseball. Baseball trophies all over my room and many with NVP on them. I even went on to play some semi-pro baseball.

But going back to my childhood, I did have this very deep secret I kept very well hidden and deeply guarded since I was oh so so young. My love, addiction, maybe even an obsession with women's fine nylon stockings; the slips, girdles, garters and high heels all soon added to the passion. I could never understand or begin to explain why or what I was feeling. Of course I was also very embarrassed about my nylon fetish, but even more so a deep feeling of guilt attached to it. For sure I was the only boy in the world with the thoughts and feelings I was having. Sex was never discussed in my home and back in that era there was no other form of communication other than home or friends talking about stuff at school.
.
I first remember at age 6 after school I would stay over the neighbors house until my mother picked me up after working. They had two girls that went to an all girls school and wore tights with their uniform. I would have to change out of my nice school clothes into my after school play clothes. During my changing I would be alone in one of the girls bedroom and always quickly slip on a pair of her tights I would find laying around after they had changed, I just had to feel and see how they looked on me. So I guess that counts as my first CD exploring but it was not yet sexual in any way or at least I don't think...

But at the age of 12 I was struggling with deep fetish passion for my mothers nylon stockings, garters and high heels. An at that age it was pure sexual excitement. My dressing was strictly limited to time in the bathroom where my mother always kept her nylons hanging. Never enough time behind that locked bathroom door to fully enjoy my fetish for those nylons, and really only added deep unexplained frustration to it all for me.

That was also the age and first time I was ever able to stay home all alone not feeling well for school one day. Till this day I still never forget that incredible rush of anticipation waiting for everyone to leave the house and finally being all alone for hours. When I heard the garage door close and my mother drive off to work I was literally shaking with excitement as I entered my mothers bedroom, and my heart pounding so hard in my chest I could hardly catch my breath. It was not long I was finally standing in front of my mothers full-length mirror and seeing my reflection....Ultra sheer long RHT nylons, open bottom girdle and her highest stiletto heels she owned. An incredible day of pure fetish bliss which really started it all for me.

So about 6 I was already exploring cross dress, but not till i was 12 do I really connect my start of cross dressing as it then for sure turned form just curious and exploring, to deep fetish, need, and want to present day.

Just another shared experience and thought, hope I did not run on to long...

[ArleneRaquel]

I started dressing enfemme between the ages of 6-8. I really admired my moms look and I wanted to emulate her style and look. Today I copy her look down to the cat's eye frames. She was a brunette I usually am not.

[Stephanie47]

When I was really young, probably before ten, I tried on my mother's full slips she dried in the sole bathroom in the apartment. I loved the feel of the nylon. It was unlike any of the fabrics I wore as a boy. I have never had any desires to be a girl/woman. Sometimes I think I went all the way with wig, makeup, hosiery, undergarments, outerwear because it does not make sense as a guy to wear women's clothing and appear as a guy.

My wife believes many people have lived past lives. That's my fall back position if anyone ever questions my cross dressing. I must have been a woman in my most recent past life. Next time around, just make me a little shorter- maybe 5 foot seven!

[Lacey New]

I really don't know but in my case, I think it was simply a Pavlovian response. Panties = mystery. So, check them out. Sister's or mom's - did not matter. Hmm, put them on = excitement. Excitement = release - AAAHHH!. Repeat, repeat. Wow, here's something new - a bra! = more excitement. Repeat. Something new, a slip = more excitement. Repeat. Add another garment, add another look etc. repeat. Later on, the thrill became the taboo of buying that next garment and wearing it. Still is because I love to shop and reward myself with the new look.