What makes you "pass"?

[CherylFlint]

What makes you “pass”?
I have found that going to the mall between the hours of 10am to 6pm dressed as a business woman that I can pull it off about 90% of the time.
I wear everything “sensible”. Not too short or too bright, or too sheer (darn!). But that’s what it take to “pass”: to “blend”, so I blend.
And I really enjoy the outings.
What about you, how do you pull it off?

[Nadine Spirit]

I don't really think that I pass. But some others have told me that I am wrong. Somethings that may assist:

- I dress appropriate to the situation
- My wig is really good
- Confidence
- And, I think most importantly, I don't try to pass and I don't care if people know that I am a guy, so I just act normal, the same as I would as if I was presenting as a guy.

[Joan_CD]

My hair is past my shoulders... I dress like any other woman in my age group... Conservative with my makeup... 40B cup breasts... And confidence. I try to soften my voice but so far I have not had any problems. Hope I didn't just jinx myself!!!

[AllieSF]

Depending on traffic, I just use a heavy foot on the accelerator! Actually, I would love to really pass, but since that is out of the cards, I am happy to blend. I am always dressed just a little, and sometimes a lot, less casually than most of the girls and ladies put there, i.e. more formally or dressier. That being said, I am not a wall flower and do want to be noticed for how well I look, well at least how well I look in my mirror at home and in my mind! I do the business lady, the classy lady going to a play, the more girly (whatever that really means) woman with flowing or frilly skirts or dresses, and the harder and sexier woman in tighter short skirts or leather.

How do I pull it off? Well, in my opinion, quite well based on all the nice compliments I get when out, some of which I believe are actually very sincere. I do realize that sometimes my wonder outfit actually wasn't that wonderful once I get home and think about it. But, that to me is part of my fun in continually trying new looks, outfits and styles, some that work and some that don't. I am very aware what other women wear and I try to get close to those styles that I see and like.

PS: As said above, confidence and attitude also play a big part in the whole scheme of things when it comes to passing/blending.

[Jenniferathome]

...

- I dress appropriate to the situation
-
- Confidence
-... I just act normal, the same as I would as if I was presenting as a guy.

Ditto! Actually, when you forget that you are dressed, you are passing.

[AngelaYVR]

Hard to say when you actually pass and don't as a lot of people fail to look up. At well over 6' in heels (always heels!) I naturally draw attention - as any tall girl does. This invites closer scrutiny but most people have to be breathing the same air before they notice. And I always dress well, never for blending in. At this time of year that means a smart coat, 3" ankle boots and stockings (sometimes patterned opaques) for what is visible. Doesn't sound special but Vancouver was voted the 3rd worst dressed city in the world and it shows.

Angela xx

[Marcia Blue]

Bad lighting and great makeup.
:battingeyelashes:

[Rachael Leigh]

Great question and intrested to see the answers. I know I don't pass as most don't really and I try to blend.
I have a chance this weekend to actually go out which being Halloween prob won't matter much anyway.
But I plan on doing an in home dress rehearsal, with makeup and walking.
I do agree you have to own it hold your head up and just be yourself with just a bit of feminine flare
Hope I pull it off.

[Carmen]

Ditto! Actually, when you forget that you are dressed, you are passing.

Jennifer I love that statement! Very true.

[Rachelakld]

Don't know about passing, and I love those who say "Miss"
I do sometimes forget I've a male body, so that probably helps me pass
If I had a secret, it would be dress according to activity, less is best with makeup, and just be confident

[Tracii G]

I just dress like the women I see everyday and go about my day.
I agree with Jennifer just forget you are dressed.

[BillieAnneJean]

The best way to pass is to:
Attend a convention for the sightless.
Take advantage of a power failure after dark.
Halloween.

But for me to not be too obviously a guy in a dress,:
Appropriate clothing
Appropriate accessories including a wedding ring set
Appropriate hair
Appropriate shoes and purse
Appropriate nails

Because if you dress like your fantasy hooker, you are going to look like a guy in a fantasy and out yourself. But give them what they expect to see and unless they are willing to spend the time, about 6.5 seconds, they will not process that something does not fit. But since their love for their phone will not allow them more than 6 seconds of freedom, they usually pass by. Unless they and their phone are having a tiff.

It isn't that you have to be pretty, or slim, or short. You just need to put enough effort in to the illusion to project what you want them to see. Then the onus is on them. Is it a guy? Is it a woman? If I say something and it IS a woman, then she is going to be upset and make a fuss and everyone is going to look not at her but to the impolite person. But by then their phone is calling and they HAVE to read that text. Might be something important like a friend saying that they are going to the grocery store.

About every fourth time out some homophobe will say something barely audible. Or about one in twenty times some self appointed sexual orientation expert, who wishes to make it clear to all that he has no social etiquette, may say something. But otherwise hold your head high and remember, you know more than they ever will about life and choices.

Just have fun. That and a smile will do more than you can imagine.

I am having SO MUCH FUN with this!

[Carrie R]

What makes me pass? Prune juice.

[Melanie B]

I have atheory that most people see what they expect to see, based on a very few superficial visual clues -- eg skirt + boobs (reasonable size, not cartoon size!) + long hair suggest female, tall+ broad shoulders suggest male. So long as you provide more strong female clues than male clues, they will see "woman" -- or in my case, "old ugly woman" !
The absolute give-away, I reckon, is the special crossdresser walk -- the splay-footed bandy-legged waddle that looks as though you've got something holding your thighs apart ;)

[CherylFlint]

I'm really enjoying the comments.
I like Jennifer's the best: "when you forget that you are dressed, you are passing".
I like Rachel's too: being called "Miss".
I'm 6'1" so I wear 3/4" heels, unless I go to a Gay bar then I get to wear my black-mini and 3" heels.
I like my "hooker" outfit the best but I'd never wear that to the mall!
The photo that I posted I'm wearing a business suit: jacket (which you see) and matching skirt.
I ALWAYS were long sleeves since I have big arms (weight lifting) so the jacket tops hide a lot.
Also wear a 42C, which is the perfect size for my build. Hair below shoulders (this photo doesn't show it, but I've got a ponytail).
Someone said it was "attitude" and I agree. Act as if you belong.
Great comments. Enjoy reading them all.

[noeleena]

Hi,

I dont try to pass or blend in no point apart from looking silly or worse if i try, even when your a female does not say you look like a female , pretty much people see what they wont to and the others they talk with me and then hear... and... see who i am very few who dont accept im just a female at 200 hundred paces people know who i am .

Are you a stranger do you not wont to be known or just passed by , that would be too hard for myself and wont happen and to me thats... so.so..... boring i like meeting new people . and after i,ll see and meet them again, and my voice, accepted as normal .

To blend in ,okay lets see my Renaissance outfits dressed like a wench or a Chatelain, i.m sure not going to blend in am i , and be seen, in one day and talk with others some 150 people, men and women children as well .

I wonder if i would be treated any different if i were an cross dresser , what would i need to do, be compleatly made up wig and all the rest and no one would know me doubt it, three miner details would give me away . i know because this is how it is , and those who know me.

My smile my expressive face and my voice.

i would... hate.... being made up its just not me and hiding my being behind a mask . i dont think i would make or be a good dresser,...Oh well....

...noeleena...

[Jillian Faith]

I do exactly like what Nadine and Joan said

- I dress appropriate to the situation
- My wig is really good
I dress like any other woman in my age group... Conservative with my makeup... 38C cup breasts... And confidence. I try to soften my voice but so far I have not had any problems.

[Kate Simmons]

Whatever doesn't make me "flunk" I guess. I just go with the flow and the feelings. If we are not convinced of who we are ourselves, how will others be? :battingeyelashes::)

[Krisi]

I think the posts above pretty much cover it except for always wearing heels.

What shouts "crossdresser" is six inch platform heels, a way too short miniskirt, way too much makeup, too small hips and too large breasts.

[kimdl93]

I hesitate to say pass, but generally, I can blend right in if I'm dressed in the manner you describe or something slightly more casual.

[BOBBI G.]

The only things that will help me pass is a total power failure, no emergency lights. and the ability to "hug" the wall as I continue towards my destination.

Bobbi

[CarlaWestin]

What makes me pass? Prune juice.

OK. :straightface:

Distance and motion. I can go out presenting any way I want here in Vegas. As long as I don't enable scrutiny, no one notices.

[Marcelle]

Hi Cheryl,

To be honest I doubt any of us truly pass. That would imply that you could walk into a room engage people in conversation and everyone would think you were a woman. I believe we (even the prettiest young ones) have certain tells that give us away. Now "blending" is not outside of the realm of possibility for many. I blend due to a combination of my size, shape and clothing choice. I tend to dress in everyday fashions depending on where I am (situational specific). My wig is reasonable (not perfect but then again hair is never perfect), my mannerisms and walk is as close a proximity to female as I can get. Finally, I act like I belong. When I stopped worrying about what people think and began to be "just me" out and about regardless of if I was boy or girl, I found I blended easier. I think there is a lot to be said about confidence as people can almost sense your fear/apprehension and that draws them to look your way. Now on close up interaction (e.g., ordering a coffee or engaging a person in conversation) all bets are off, I cease to blend at that point . . . but then again I don't really care as I know who I am . . . me :)

Hugs

Isha

[Adriana Moretti]

Hi Cheryl,

To be honest I doubt any of us truly pass.
Isha

my thoughts too....so i dont try....i just be the best me I can and I let others love it or leave it....

[Christen]

my thoughts too....so i dont try....i just be the best me I can and I let others love it or leave it....

Yeah! I'm with both of you. I'd love to be able to pass, but I'm pretty darn sure that's never going to happen.

[PretzelGirl]

I am with Isha also. The biggest things to me are to take your style and adapt it for the event or people you will be around. Notice I didn't say dress like the others. There is still individuality. But don't be dressed for a formal and shopping at a strip mall. Unless of course you want to, but that is a different subject. People sometimes scoff confidence, but here is what I found works for me. Don't skulk about. We always notice those sneaking around the edges. Look up at everyone and make eye contact. When you are looking down, people are then allowed to scan you up and down. If you look at everyone in the eye, then they lock eyes and then look away. A bit of the alpha dog effect. But you aren't trying to scare them, so smile to and what you get is a friendly reaction at least most of the time. You belong, you accept that you belong, it helps others accept it.

Does this work 100%. Hell no. There are thousands of things to consider. But if you go in and look like you are going to rob the place, you will get negative attention.

[GinaD]

I have to agree with Sue. I have found that keeping my head high, having a quick smile, and looking at people while I go about my business as if I belong to be there as I am (which I fell I do) I seem to blend in. The longer I have been dressing the less negative looks I get. I get way more positive reactions than negative ones. There is also great truth in the statement that if you want to dress to be noticed, you will be noticed. It all depends on what you want. Even for an attention w**re like me, I tone it down a lot when doing mundane things.

[Debra Russell]

Practice, confidence, dress appropriate and for the occasion ... works for me................................Debra

[Eringirl]

I try to blend, and based on my experiences, I think I do. For me, appropriate dress to the occasion (from jeans and flats to dress and heels, depending on the situation). I have good quality human hair wig, so that helps. The biggest thing for me is confidence. Head up, shoulders back, act like you belong there, which you do. For me, that seems to go a long way.

(that and really good makeup, which I continue to work on...) ;)

[Lorileah]

I don't worry about it. If I did I would be like a deer in headlights.

[docrobbysherry]

Halloween, period!

Passing is the Golden Fleece of dressing! If you've ever done it? U'LL KNOW!

[Amanda22]

I haven't been concerned with passing for a long, long time. I go out to be myself, and I try not to let others' thoughts about me spoil my day. How does anyone know they're passing, anyhow? In my experience, everyone treats me very respectfully, but rather than think it's because I've fooled them, I give them credit for being great people.

[Nikki A.]

To me the two biggest things in "passing" is confidence and dressing to the situation.
If you act like you belong, then there is always that doubt, is he/she a guy or just an ugly woman. Pretty I'm not but I've met worse looking women too. I've been out on Halloween and I've had people guessing (only on that day will someone come up to you and ask), if that's the case I guess I'm OK on the other days, who is going to confront you and risk being embarrassing themselves or you?

[Sarasometimes]

Just think radiation...Time Distance Shielding. Short exposure time to other's eye, Don't let them get too close and great clothes and makeup to shield their eyes.

The hips and confidence/deportment are biggies too.

[sometimes_miss]

MIdnight in a coal mine during a power failure and a total eclipse, and at least 100 yards away from anyone else. OTOH, most people don't really know if they're passing, because the general public doesn't really care. Even if we see someone who's obviously crossdressed, common courtesy tells us to keep our thoughts to ourselves.

I'd have to go with Rachel's thought about someone using female pronouns to address or describe us; 'Miss or Ma'am' would be a good indicator. Because really, 99% of us won't pass. If you're not sure, post a series of your pictures on hot or not and see what kind of response you get. Then a short video on youtube say, about your daily make up routine, maybe a 'what's in my bag' video, each where you are speaking and see how may girls watch the whole thing. There's all kinds of ways to find out if you're passing or not.

[Richelle]

To be honest I doubt any of us truly pass. That would imply that you could walk into a room engage people in conversation and everyone would think you were a woman. I believe we (even the prettiest young ones) have certain tells that give us away. Now "blending" is not outside of the realm of possibility for many. I blend due to a combination of my size, shape and clothing choice. I tend to dress in everyday fashions depending on where I am (situational specific). My wig is reasonable (not perfect but then again hair is never perfect), my mannerisms and walk is as close a proximity to female as I can get. Finally, I act like I belong.
Isha

I agree and disagree. I agree that the key to passing or blending is dressing and acting like you belong and that you are comfortable as a women.

I disagree about truly passing. I believe that many more pass than a many give us credit for.

I have interacted with a number of women (servers, fellow travelers) over the years and I truly believe that they think of me as just another woman. I have even gone into the ladies room with them and had conversations at the sink. However, do not get me wrong, often they are not sure or know than am a CD.

Richelle

[pajeantv]

Everyone missed the first, Lots of smoke and Mirrors. No in all honesty, I know i will never "pass". but in my mind and what i see in the mirror is what matters most. My wife called me an Ugly Skank, took it as a compliment. At least she see's me as a girl. I dress very conservatively, nothing that would draw attention to myself, no overly high heels or short skirts. I don't venture out in public so i can't say if i pass or not

[Leanne2]

I used to worry about passing until I finally admitted to myself that I am a transgender woman. Now I pass just fine but I feel a little subconscious walking around in DRAB. Then I feel like a woman pretending to be a man. Leanne

[Amanda22]

I used to worry about passing until I finally admitted to myself that I am a transgender woman.

Yes! I have arrived at a place in my journey where I'm happy to just be myself without trying to appear as someone else. Many here chase some holy grail of "passing." I did that at first but all I was doing was drawing scrutiny to myself. If you relax and act free, everything's OK. Don't live in fear. This approach works for me without fail. I'm accepted and even admired at times, and I live in a very conservative, violent, judgmental area. If you try to "pass" as yourself, you'll succeed every time.

[Katey888]

my thoughts too....so i dont try....i just be the best me I can and I let others love it or leave it....

Very, very good advice... :)

I think 'passing' is a really abstract phenomenon in the CD world... even many of those that think they pass are just building their own beliefs up... Nothing wrong with that if it helps confidence - just when a belief becomes a 'fact'...

It's been said before on here many times - how many GGs 'pass' scrutiny every day? Very few... because most people just go unnoticed by others... If that's passing or blending, then fine... but don't believe you've fooled anyone... you've just got under the radar or The Billie Anne 6.5 second Law of Blending... :)

Is it me, or do I sometimes get the feeling there's a slightly unhealthy obsession with purely visual blending as validation...? :devil: To be honest and frank, some of us might have been lucky enough to be born with features androgynous or feminine enough to be seen by others as female (with a healthy dose of makeup and artifice!), but that doesn't always (or rarely) reflect what's going on under the skin.

So it's said that beauty is only skin deep... never a more universal truth...

Katey x

[alwayshave]

I'm pretty sure for me to pass, it would have to be closing time at bar that was serving free drinks all night. I would love to pass, but in the end it is how I feel dressed not so much what I look like, though I am concerned about how I look.

[justmetoo]

How can one even tell if they are "passing"? I have no idea if I pass or blend in or anything. All I can say is I'm not attracting much attention as far as I have noticed. I will get an occasional smile from women. Sales assistants and waitstaff and such are usually helpful, address me as "ma'am" or similar, but I'm certain I don't "pass" with them. If nothing else, my voice would surely give me away and probably tings about my appearance and such. I guess I would say I "pass", but only in the sense of going under most people's radar, as it were. They either take little or no notice or don't react if they do notice. As long as things continue in this manner I'm happy. I'm just out doing my thing, being myself, and enjoying life.
I do think a positive attitude helps, along with not doing things that would guarantee attracting attention.

[flatlander_48]

My guess is that we are harder on ourselves than the general public is. The thing that we forget is that there is a GREAT variance in how women look. The scale goes from Ma Kettle to Halle Berry and everywhere in between and most of us will fall in there somewhere. Certainly there are some clues, such as hands, shoulders, etc. but usually there are things that we can do to deemphasize something or emphasize something else. It's not perfect, but it helps.

My wife and I were on an elevator with 3 women, and if you're on an elevator, you can't be that far away from anybody. From the side, one of the women gave me a complement and from the sound of it, I believed she was sincere. However, I did not turn to face her and limited my response to a quiet Thank You and a nod. But, had I turned or spoke with my regular voice, I'm pretty sure I would have been discovered outright. As it was, perhaps the information was inconclusive or at least enough to give the benefit of the doubt. A little distance helps, but I would bet that distance is closer than you think...

[Dianne S]

I don't know if I pass, but these things help. First, the things I can do: I wear age-appropriate clothing and use breast forms that are appropriate for my frame. I have my own long hair which I augment with hair extensions. I go to malls, restaurants, coffee shops, etc. usually with a friend.

Next, the lucky things that help me pass: I am very small, even for a GG (5'2" and 130lb) so from a distance (ie, too far to really see my face), I really do pass as female. I have smallish hands and arms and a very slim build, so a small amount of padding gives me a very feminine shape.

Finally, the unlucky things that conspire against me: Body hair (tons of it)... ugh. Rather thick eyebrows which I've slowly been thinning. A not-particularly-feminine face. A somewhat poor eye and unsteady hand for makeup. And finally, my voice is a giveaway though I try to speak softly and raise the pitch a bit.

Still, on all my outings, I've never had a bad reaction. Even those who've clocked me have been friendly.

[Talisker]

I would say that if someone actually watched 98% of the people on here for a few minutes moving and doing stuff then they would not pass (including me). As soon as they talked another 1% wont pass. Just because i can walk through a mall without hassle or being called a man doesnt mean much to me. Most people just have quick glances at others unless there is a reason to look longer. So you need to give them no reason to look longer; eg dont dress like a hooker, remove the beard, no cowboy walk etc

People are also polite and treat you as a woman even if they know you arent. Sorry if this pops a few bubbles.

[Gardener]

I don't Cheryl and doubt I ever could. Body shape, weight all those things. I am pretty sure I could be more passable if time were spent on disguise etc but for me that is not what it is about. I do not aspire to pass as a woman: it is not realistic to think that way. I dress as and when I can, to a greater or lesser extent, and that helps me to acknowledge that inside I feel I have a clear feminine aspect to my persona. If I had one desire it would be that I could share this with more than my wife and that it would be accepted by the other person, but maybe in time

[joanna4]

Wig+makeup. I wouldn't go out without those weapons.

[Beverley Sims]

I ff the guy in front of me is going too slow....

I pass.

Otherwise it's like making a cake...

I blend.

[Ivie]

Talisker, just saw your signature... Oh yes, Cheetara

If only there was a costume themed holiday coming up soon...

[Eryn]

I think that the turning point for me came when I decided that "passing" wasn't all that important and was interfering with my enjoyment. That isn't to say that I didn't keep working on my presentation, but I came to the realization that any 6'2" woman will attract curious looks and that they aren't necessarily a sign that I have been "made."

Since I stopped worrying about passing I think that it helps my presentation.

[Madilyn A.]

I could only hope to pass on a moon-less, star-less night wearing an oversize hoodie.

[Janine cd]

I could never pass since I have a 44 inch barrel chest and 32 inch hips as well as a height of 6' 2''.

[heatherdress]

Nothing "makes me pass". I just don't believe there is a checklist of "musts", and if you comply, you will "pass".

I can feel unnoticed and go unnoticed - but it depends on where I am and how I act and what I wear and who is around and many other factors.

[KimberlyJean]

It is all in the shoes, wear ugly, low heeled shoes or Uggs and no one will notice you! Of course I kid. I would love to pass 100% but I have settled for blending.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Cheryl, Try to dress like the majority of the GG do use subdued and don't wear hi heels and a short skirt to WAL*MART.

[Betty Jean Blose]

Anyone can do it......well, almost anyone.......
http://youtu.be/0QfM1OzGIBs

[Sallee]

I tend to dress down when I want to pass no heels, maybe jeans or a longer skirt. easy on the makeup. I do try to act normal and not act over fem (what ever that is). I have been told I pass, and I think I do for the most part 90% of the time. Confidence is the biggest issue when trying to pass, if you are confident you will probably do fine in the outside world

[Paula_56]

Perfect advice right on

[katie elouise]

I in all honesty don't think that I ' pass ' ,but I do use what I have learned about deportment ,decorum, dressing ,and not using to much make up all topped of with a nice smile to try to blend . If I can do this its a great day if not well ,you will just have to take me as I am ....... or you could always turn the other check . Katie x.

[reb.femme]

What makes me pass? Prune juice.

Now that you've stolen my thunder, if you'll pardon the pun, I'll simply comment on the genuine point of the post.

Not much can make us pass unless our genetics deemed fit to be very kind and allow us to assume either gender presentation without effort. Very few of those, so good makeup and dress to blend is the best I can offer. I love to 'dolly up', as I hate looking like a bargain basement offer, but then I stand out like a lighthouse in a city. :heehee:

Rebecca

[lingerieLiz]

Being young, fine boned, height within most girl's range, thin with a small waist and fem face. As a teen in guy mode I had people think I was a girl. With sisters who enjoyed teaching me to do the girl things I had a lot of practice with dressing and makeup. I never developed the overly fem movements that some take up. I was teased that I walked like a girl. Learning to be comfortable in women's clothes takes time. One thing that most CDs don't get the benefit of is coaching. Girls are taught to cross their legs, sit like this, walk a certain way, slide your dress up slightly when getting in the car. Movements that most guys never know about. Carrying books on your hip rather than hanging down on your arm like guys.

I was in a store one time and looking at a scarf and the SA said you are the only guy I've seen that handled that like a woman.

[Lexi Moralas]

I have alway thought it was about the little details , and being relaxed. So unpon a casual look nothin apeaers out of place
And usually no one looks any farther.
I always ran into trouble when I had to speak

[binair10]

I suppose that I have an advantage over some of you girls, in that I am only 5.5" tall and very slim. I know that my age is against me (73), but I do my best to blend in. I look more like a mother or a middle aged aunt. Dress your age not a bimbo unless you can get away with it.
I find that wearing heels (not more than 2 and a half inches) works well for me. And another thing is do not walk with a male stride. Women walk with shorter steps.

[Rosaliy Lynne]

I don't even try to pass. I do try to look my best and blend in and in that respect I think I do rather well. At least I am accepted as I appear. My voice, well that is another matter. Sometimes I can present a nearly femme voice but I know that most of the time, people here male when I speak. As long as they treat me as I am and with respect, it's all good.

[ophelia]

I go with my own hair. Unless you spend hundreds of dollars on real human hair wigs no artificial fiber will look good in sunlight or artificial light.

[Stephanie Julianna]

I waited to answer this because I wanted to see what others would say. Many of my friends here hit it on the head. I have great wigs, chose clothes that look good on me and do a good job on my makeup. All are modeled after what I observe women of my build and similar coloring and facial structure work with. Do I pass after all that work? I think so but do I know for sure? No, but do I care? Not really. Society has changed dramaticly since I started to go out in public back in 1980. I don't think the general public really cares how we dress. (Except for poor Bruce Jenner) I just adore dressing and I just love to be as tall as everyone else with my 3 1/2 inch heels even if it's just for one day at a time.

[Savannah_Skye]

Really big Diva sun-glasses! When I dress and put on make up I look like I'm 19 anyway...so I just kind of blend. Usually do a scarf around the Adam's apple

[Sometimes Steffi]

To be honest I doubt any of us truly pass. That would imply that you could walk into a room engage people in conversation and everyone would think you were a woman. I believe we (even the prettiest young ones) have certain tells that give us away. Now "blending" is not outside of the realm of possibility for many. I blend due to a combination of my size, shape and clothing choice. I tend to dress in everyday fashions depending on where I am (situational specific).

Isha


I think I could pass after a good makeover as long as I didn't speak.

One time, I got a makeover at Vanity's in Houston. I went to TJ Maxx to shop, and eventually sked a GG SA where something was. Shortly thereafter a GM sa came by to see if I h found what I was looking for. I think that GG SA had a suspicion and sent gM SA to verify her assumption, Or maybe GG SA totally clocked me, and told GM SA, who had to see the girl/boy for himself. I would like to believe it was the voice that gave me away.

But to the opposite point, I see a lot of GG (I think) that don't "pass" as women either. So, who's to say.

[Sarah Doepner]

I try to do the best job I can on picking an outfit that is age and activity appropriate, concentrate on my makeup and do the best I can with my wig, voice and mannerisms. After all that the best I can hope for from others is they ignore me because their lives are much more important than looking for tall women who just might be men. If I can get down the street, around the corner or into the next shop before they turn around I've "passed by" and that's good enough for me. Any direct interaction with me and they figure it out pretty quick, so I can have all the confidence in the world but with my build and face, it's pretty easy to see that I'm not a woman. My goal is to have a good time and if that happens I'm getting a passing grade for effort if not effect.

[kkaye]

Stephanie. Your skills with makeup and wig seems to be professional and flawless. I usually go out early morning or afternoon and just blend in. My makeup and getting ready made me understand why women can hold us up. I gave up going out after work in fem. Weekends gives me more time. I turn no heads other than those interested in a middle aged woman or women who can be critical of fashion.

[dee anne]

I always want to pass, but had a chance to dress at my will for 2 weeks and discovered that it is me who feels natural and comfortable that makes the difference. Pass or not I loved that I was dressed and out by myself. Just being me was great.
Dee anne

[wanda66]

Dee anne is right on,being comfortable is where it's at for me. I want to be meand of course I want to be presentable. there's nothing wrong with a good makeover.but when it's all said and done , it's what is inside that counts

[Minerva Morgan]

It depends on what you mean by 'passing'.

Unless you are actually female, attempting to 'pass' as a female is likely relatively futile and probably not always the most sensible goal.

If you mean 'pass' as a woman, then that, to me, is a different matter. Being a woman is being feminine in appearance, behaviour, style, expression and even thought. It takes more to be a woman than being female, and being female is the least important criterion. I have, in these forums, seen images of many males. Some appear 'female', but most are either distinguishable to some degree as male or are not necessarily beautiful in the traditional sense. The vast majority, however, are very feminine, very much women and their sex really does not matter. I find their femininity to be lovely and far more appealing aesthetically than any masculine presentation.

The key to 'passing', in that sense is fitness. A healthy appearing physique has potential far greater than one that is unhealthy. I do not mean muscular or extraordinarily fit, just healthy. Both males and females have the ability to create a particularly lovely and feminine persona when they are relatively in good shape. The anatomy is the canvas and clothing, cosmetics, scents, accessories, footwear, jewellery, etc.; these are the palette from which presentation is created. Posture, decorum, body language, voice, etc. frame and highlight the result. None of these are dependent on one's sex, nor should they be.

What is rarely recognized is that probably as many females (as a proportion of the human population) as males delight in that mode of creativity. It simply seems that females are more likely to engage in the practice because they are permitted to do so, even, in some instances, required to do so. What is tragic is that males are not only inhibited and restricted from doing so, but that such restrictions create the impression that they should not be permitted to do so.

So, I judge whether someone 'passes' not on whether they make me believe they are female, but on whether they make me believe that they are feminine. After all, everyone is a critic!

Minerva.

[Kallyope]

Well, I guess I could pass with bad lighting, and if people aren't too close and don't really pay attention (which is easier nowadays since the smartphone attracts most of the attention these days).

So, I do my best to blend: by dressing appropriatly, and even forgetting I'm even dressed... which envetually happens after 10 minutes being outside (that being said, I'm new to this, I got out of the house en femme last week for the first time).

I'm also lucky to be short (5'4"), so that helps.

[Rosaliy Lynne]

I think I could pass after a good makeover as long as I didn't speak.

One time, I got a makeover at Vanity's in Houston. I went to TJ Maxx to shop, and eventually sked a GG SA where something was. Shortly thereafter a GM sa came by to see if I h found what I was looking for. I think that GG SA had a suspicion and sent gM SA to verify her assumption, Or maybe GG SA totally clocked me, and told GM SA, who had to see the girl/boy for himself. I would like to believe it was the voice that gave me away.

But to the opposite point, I see a lot of GG (I think) that don't "pass" as women either. So, who's to say.

The voice always gives us away. As to the GG's not passing as women, I spent a week back in 2006 with a GG friend up from Cali for the DLV get together here in Vegas. She looks more male than I do. Go figure.

[Ressie]

No, I don't pass. And I would not believe anyone that says I pass. Passing is usually a passing thing. It lasts for a moment or a bit longer for some. I think all we can hope for is to pass for some of the people some of the time. Staying in the car at night is my only chance of passing. That is if I get in the passing lane!

[Madilyn A.]

I don't think I pass as I wear too much make up to blend. Without this amount of makeup I look rather masculine, especially at 6'4" in stocking feet.

[Ressie]

Well Madilyn, sometimes looking sexy is better than being passable!

[Robin414]

Anyone watch the new tv series scorpion? One episode had a VERY attractive woman playing a psychologist and she had the deepest voice I've heard on anyone period but with an accent of some kind. No doubt a woman (i think at least) but I'm thinking a later in life (post adolesent) TG? I know facial feminization surgery is the thing but changing vocal cords (voice) is much more difficult and risky. Anyway, this woman seriously sounded like a man but was with out a doubt a woman :)