Practice makes perfect?

[Kate Simmons]

What is your ultimate goal when it comes to crossdressing? They say practice makes perfect but perfect what? Girls have years of "practice" before becoming women. They learn all aspects of being a viable woman during those years. CDers seem to focus on the glamour and glitter part of being a woman rather than the practical side as that seems to provide a "rush". I think the biggest part of emulating a woman is outlook and attitude. Is it really possible to make a "silk purse" out of a "sow's ear"? Some of us give it our best shot. In the end, however, it really comes down to how others relate to us as a person and not so much what we look like.I have achieved my ultimate goal which is prove to myself I can be in touch with my feelings and outwardly express that both in appearance and manner. For myself it's all about choice in how I go about achieving that. Have you achieved your ultimate goal with CDing or are you on your way to it? :)

[kimdl93]

I would agree that practice improves ones presentation in every respect...and with practice comes greater confidence. Perfection, well, that's another matter. I doubt that perfection is attainable in any objective sense...at least not for me.

My ultimate goal, in this context would be to live the majority of my life as a woman.

[Adriana Moretti]

I like to practice makeup...I would like to master it, and maybe one day provide my own makeup service, I practice it even just sitting in sweatpants. I also work on my weight/fem apperrance thru workouts .....those 2 things to me are the most important. Have I reached those goals??...not yet...but I know in the past year I have came a long way. Hopefully I will get to where I want to be weight wise....but we never stop learning all the other aspects.

[Katey888]

Is there any ultimate goal with this, Kate...? For some - perhaps going to 24/7, but I'm not one of those (nor are you, from recollection) and I think there are plenty of other part time girls here... And what does "girls learning to be women" have to do with what we do? Girls grow into being women as they have some beneficial, natural attribute to do so... genetics, chromosomes, hormones... they may learn the societal aspects of how women behave but then don't forget that males are also exposed to a lot of that too. Many folk here relate to how they were more interested in how their mother or sisters dressed or behaved... some of us perhaps learnt a little of both worlds. :thinking:

I like that you always come back to your success in finding an outlet for your entire personality rather than just the masculine aspect... I think that's as good an ultimate goal as any for us part-timers... So plenty of scope for exploring that with this 'sow's ear' for a few years yet... ;)

Katey x

[Krisi]

My ultimate goal when it comes to crossdressing is to be able to look and act like a genetic woman my age. As if I had been born female.

Of course there are male features that I cannot overcome and as you mentioned, years (decades) of being a male vs. female to overcome.

Why do I do this? I don't really know. I'm not planning on transitioning or living full time as a female. I'm not planning on dating or having relationships with men.

I suppose deep down inside there is a reason or reasons why I feel like doing this but at this point I don't really care. It's not hurting anyone so I just do it.

As far as "practice makes perfect", well not really. If you practice doing something wrong you will never be perfect at it, just better at doing it wrong. Now if you do things over and over but try to do it better each time, you will probably get better at it but nobody is perfect.

[Kate Simmons]

Good point Katey. Both successful men and women optimize all apects of themselves to move forward in a positive direction. As Adriana said we are always learning and that is good as becoming static is usually what hangs up forward progress. Making our feelings work for us is one of the keys for doing this. :)

[NicoleScott]

In the end...... it really comes down to how others relate to us as a person and not so much what we look like

That may be true for you and many others, but not for me and many others. My goal is to achieve the look I want. Closet dressers who are happy to do our thing (whatever that may be) in private aren't relating to others when we're in our dressup sessions. It IS about what I look like. It is personal and private, and closet dressers have goals that aren't necessarily about how others see them.

[Contessa]

Glad you brought this to my attention, I wouldn't have thought of it. I am already a woman as I am 24/7. Since I am on HRT I didn't realize I should be working on any other. I had even moved on to the TS/TG forums. But I suppose I should work on my tummy. No sure how flat I can make it but I will start working on it. I can't master this but I will take a good "GO" at it. You might try mastering one aspect. What about putting on lipstick 101. (smile)


Tess

[BarbDriscoll]

How I feel about this thing that we do changes, sometimes from day to day. But one recurring motif is trying to see the world from a female perspective. Women are mysteries to me. I had no sisters growing up. For me part of being in a relationship has always been to see the world through her eyes. And as I look back on my CDing I see some of that there too. An unreachable goal, of course.

[Amy Fakley]

If I even have a "goal" when I'm dressing, I suppose it would be to fool my own eyes in believing what my heart already feels. It feels good to make the outside match the inside for a while, and there are definitely ways to be better at that. I do improve on my "believeability" with more practice, but I suspect there is no finish line, I'll always be working at it as long as I live :-)

[suchacutie]

I must admit that there is an excitement every time there is a "first" in Tina's life. I need to talk to my wife about this, asking if growing up as a girl she experienced an excitement for her "firsts", and if there continued to be "firsts" and how that worked.

Eventually, the "firsts" have to diminish to be replaced by a satisfaction in competency, and/or a satisfaction in belonging to a group who can do/experience the various details that comprise living as a woman. It's that satisfaction in moving from the excitement of the first (probably tenuous) experience to competency and normalcy that Tina wishes to achieve for herself. We really want to be able to "turn on a dime" and move from one gendered self to another as a natural and normal process. That requires not only living a large variety of needed experiences and gathering many skills, but then living them to "normalcy".

Although my ideal would be a few consecutive days in each gender as a permanent state, the above-mentioned goal is more fundamental and would remove any restrictions of ability from the gender-jump process. Stated simply, I just want it to be normal and natural to be in either of my gendered selves.

[Jennifer-GWN]

Regardless of if Transitioning or occasional CDing... depending on how long you've been doing it and to how serious you approach it. Remember Girls learn "all this" as the grow and mature. One thing I have learned is that many things; make-up as an example is a continual learning experience for both us as well as Cisgendered. Arguably they know and understand the basics learned from their mothers, sisters, friends, etc but this is on-going (witness the many 'here's how' videos on you-tube). As for me (beginning transition) a butterfly begins as a caterpillar and it takes time to learn both who you are as a women as well as style and all the mechanical aspects like makeup and dressing style. I do my best, I try hard to blend (despite my opposition to anything pants orientated) and if practice = RLT and building confidence through being out in public vs. cast in the home dungeon then practice is it. Yesterday as an example I had was in for a hair cut and style... left and went to the mall to check for a few things... it dawned on me as I window shopped that I wasn't even concerned about appearance or being outed. I was doing my thing, dressed as a wanted, I felt good, I looked good, and going about my business without a second guess. That's my confidence growing and emergence coming in. Do I still have a long way to go... absolutely. Practice Practice Practice (with a lot of observation in there for good measure).

Cheers... Jennifer

[CherylFlint]

I believe the whole, the number one reason, to “dress”, is to be “seen” as we really are inside, the real you exposed.
Meaning that if we project our femininity so that others perceive us as female, we have achieved our goal.
This is a metamorphic trek. At the beginning we are satisfied with just the feeling and the knowing that we are dressed as a female, and we get the validity of that at first by using a mirror which progresses to photos.
The second stage takes longer because we have to do most of the learning by trial and error to actually look as a female from the critical eye of a male (you, looking at yourself in a mirror or scrutinizing a photo).
Stage THREE is the most important, akin to a butterfly leaving the cocoon and spreading its wings for the first time: the first time you step out the door “dressed” with the hope of “passing”, therefore achieving the lifelong goal: to be accepted as a female.
It took me about ten years to finally “pass”, or to “blend-in”. My mistakes were classic: too high of heel, too short of skirt, too much makeup.
Once I got smart and started to do things right, the correct transition went pretty quick, compared with all the years “in-the-closet”.
I went to a wig store and found the wig style that would fit my face and age. I found a mastectomy bra fitter that would do CD’s and got the perfect size and entered the whole new world of mastectomy bras (the forms always stay it place). I went to beauty stores and had makeovers done, and also at the cosmetic counters at the mall.
And I married a woman who is just as easy as can be with my dressing. She takes an active part in making me “blend/pass” because, as she says, she’d rather look at a nice looking girl than a guy in a dress.
As I age my dressing is not as often. My wife is in charge of when she wants me to dress, although I can certainly dress anytime I want, like when she’s out, and I did at first, every time.
But as I age I’m getting to be more satisfied of who I am and not so much as others see me. The overwhelming need to be accepted as a female isn’t as strong, although I still enjoy dressing because, more than anything else, it’s my key that lets me relax.
I believe dressing lowers my heart rate, lets me be calm and lets me see things as they really are.
And dressing today is still just as big a thrill as it was the first time I did it.
I really love to dress and I’m glad I’m a CD and married a woman who loves all of me, the drab me and the real me: Cheryl.
You’re right: practice makes perfect!
I’m satisfied with just being the best CD that I can be.

[Kate Simmons]

The fact is that I can look like a woman pretty easily.Oh yeah I have my own standards of excellence and pay attention to detail when I dress but for myself it's pretty much become second nature and no big deal doing it. I can't say it was always that way, I used to get pretty excited (in more ways than one) with it but have since grown and matured as a person. I still have fun with it of course and just love to perform and dance en femme. My goals, however, are my own and I don't presume to speak for anyone else.:battingeyelashes::)

[Beverley Sims]

My ultimate goal in dressing is about as far away as the completion of that model railway layout I am building. :)

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Kate, I've been practicing this longer than most of the ladies here have been alive, I dress to look as feminine as I can.

Hi Bev, There is no such thing as a completed Model Railroad.:daydreaming:

[Kate Simmons]

Hey I used to have Plasticville stuff in my train set.;):)

[Jenniferathome]

...I think the biggest part of emulating a woman is outlook and attitude. ...

How is that possible? For those who identify as male, how do we emulate a female's attitude or anything that is part of a female psyche? All we can do is emulate the physical. Everything else is just a man's perspective of what a woman "thinks" or "behaves"

[Kate Simmons]

Who's to say that some of us don't have a female Psyche Jennifer? :)

[JuliaM]

My goal at this point is to not look like a dude in a dress! Refinement will come over time, it takes practice practice practice.

[docrobbysherry]

Don't kid yourself, Kate. For many of us CD's this is a COMPETITION!

Not with others but with ourselves. I'm not going to be satisfied until I can consistently present as a 20 something.

Rite now, too many folks think Sherry's in her 30's. Sigh! And, it doesn't matter that I'm 70. I want to get it rite!

[Janine cd]

I only hope to be able took in the mirror and see a reasonably feminine face staring back at me. My dream of being a passable woman are long gone.

[LelaK]

I may get a chance to perfect my image as much as I reasonably can in the physical in the next few months or years, but I expect to do much better in angelhood.

[Ally 2112]

I do practice but it is just to see how good i can look and to have fun with it since i do not go out .I really do not worry if i pass it is just to be happy with my look on that day

[katie elouise]

Hi Kate I feel a whole lot closer to where I would like to be. I am at piece with myself and when dressed I like the woman looking back from the mirror at me, it wasn't always like this !! . But as the years have rolled buy I have learned to be nicer to my self and embrace the 'whole package as best I can ' .
Yes I look better now than before ,yes I am happy in my own skin and as such much calmer and nicer to be around ,than the confused and impatient person I once was .I now realise that its not just the dress ,its how you feel and how you make others around you feel ,compassion ,respect, and just good fun to be around .
I feel blessed to have found happiness and know that I am lucky indeed ,I would love for others to feel this way and be free of the self loathing .Katie x .

[jeank]

Kate,

To get a wee bit philosophical, surely the only ultimate goal is Nirvana.:)

I have never actually had a goal with my CDing. It's been an exploration of my other self which so far has made me feel (at first) excited, then as time moved on relaxed, and comfortable, and at peace with myself.

I'm sure I'll change as a person over my remaining years, and my attitude to my femme self will move along with it, but I don't feel as if I'm striving for anything - just enjoying the journey and wherever it takes me.

[Nikki A.]

If you're TS then your "ultimate goal" is to feel like and be regarded as a female in all aspects of your life and virtually forgetting the male you were.
For us in the middle of the spectrum I don't think it is as easy. I will not speak for anyone but myself. I don't have an ultimate goal, but, what I strive for is to me to be comfortable in how I look and to be able to do what I want, to do however I may be dressed.
I must admit, I do enjoy doing my makeup. If it was feasible career-wise, I would wear a little make up everyday. Nothing too crazy. That would be my ultimate goal.