We finally had "THE TALK"

[Donna Joanne]

Because of my recent leukemia diagnosis and impending treatments I felt I needed to go ahead and do this:

The wife and I had the "TALK" from 2-5 this morning. I came out to my wife and told her all about my GD, transition and treatment. And after three hours of laughing, crying, hugging, kissing and most importantly TALKING my wife now knows about me, DONNA. And guess what?? There was no screaming, yelling or anything else negative.

She says she doesn't fully understand everything, she LOVES ME and has NO INTENTIONS of leaving me because of my GD or transition. She said she has a lot to process, but she still loves me and nothing is ever going to change that. (Except the same thing that wound have whither or not I was trans- abuse or infidelity). But we both agreed due to my current profession and position I cannot publicly "come out", but we will cross that bridge when we come to it.

I feel like a huge rock has been lifted from off of me. She loves me and we will make it through my transition and the cancer, because there is nothing the three of us can't do together...my god, my wife and me.

[becky77]

Well that's good, but i'm amazed you have been on hormones etc without even telling your wife. I hope it works out but be prepared the deception may dwell on her mind.

[Donna Joanne]

To answer your question about the hormones Becky, she has known I was on medication to reduce the testosterone in my system, just didn't tell her about my GD or my discussions with my psychologist. I've never hidden my medical treatment from her.

[NancyJ]

Good for you, Donna. When we are understood and accepted and loved, there is nothing better. Hopefully this will aid your recovery. Nancy

[PretzelGirl]

Great start Donna! This is the beginning of a long road, so keep the talking going. I am also a little surprised you waited this long. Regulating testosterone and taking hormones are two different things. Also, there may come a time where you can't easily hide yourself at work. Are you planning to permanently not come out at work or is this a "for now" thing? Are you prepared for looks as you change (which is of course variable)? I wish you the best but I am not sure I understand it all.

[Donna Joanne]

Sue, this is a "for now" situation. I am already past the "being able to wear t shirts" phase, and if I try to dress androgynous, I still get "ma'am ed" 80% of the time. I didn't tell her about the EV until this morning, which was wrong on my part. I'm not sure either Sue, but at the proper time we will move away from here and start a new chapter of our lives elsewhere.

[becky77]

Can I ask for what reason did you give her for growing breasts and starting to look like a woman, did she not notice you being misgendered 80% of the time?
Is there a medical reason for the lowering of your T? Surely you must also be on E for the breast growth and facial changes, I didn't think lowering your T could do that alone.

[MsVal]

There have been quite a few good-news/bad-news stories here, but a great disclosure combined with a leukemia diagnosis has to be the most unusual one I can remember. I don't know how to respond to something like that, so I'll say "Congratulations, I'm so sorry for you."

In a more serious tone, I do hope that you are able to make significant progress on all fronts (relationship, health, & transition) in spite of the considerable influence each has on the others.

Best wishes
MsVal

[Kaitlyn Michele]

God bless you Donna...take good care of yourself and of your wife and I hope you have a very successful recovery..

[Bria]

Donna, I'm sorry to hear that you have leukemia, I hope that your treatment goes well, I'll remember you in my prayers!

Hugs, Bria

[Barbara Ella]

Donna, you will be in my prayers for your leukemia treatments. Glad you are finally out to your wife. It just feels so much better, I know from experience. And it can continue in that direction if you continue to talk to each other. There may be ups and downs, go with the flow and just continue to discuss your life and feelings. My wife is so supportive of the hormones, the electrolysis, and the uncertainty of what lies ahead, but wants to face them together. I wish you two the best.

Barbara

[Rachel Smith]

I hope your treatments go well and your health improves. Continue on your path and there will be more burdens lifted off your shoulders.
Congrats and good luck.

[ArleneRaquel]

Donna,
Best Wishes on your treatments.