Understanding

[_Sheli_]

???

[Amelie]

I will put two of your thoughts together. One of your thoughts: you say this forum has a good bunch of people who try to help and support others.
You also say that you are in a bad way at the moment, you need someone to listen to you.

Well, put these two things together and I think you should stay and let us hear your thoughts, someone here might give you the words you need to hear. Leaving the forum will make you feel more alone out in the world.

Yes, we might have a bit of fun here but for the most part, the support here is very helpful.

I know that you have your mind set on leaving, but if you need a shoulder to cry on, we will be hear to listen to you.

Good Luck in whatever you do.
Love
Amelie
xxx

[Julie York]

I don't know what your needs are.
You are talking like a very upset drunk person in the corner of the bar who is desperate for help but no-one knows the story so they can't help you. It is annoying because this place does have some very compassionate people who would very likely make you feel less alone....even if you all huddled in the corner of the bar together saying how badly done to you were. You wouldn't feel so isolated.

Why don't you chose an appropriate section of the forum and actually get it off your chest? Why not ask for understanding by setting a question in the first place?

Your SO doesn't understand you?
You are in the wrong body?
You are frustrated about not being able to express the true you?
You want to jump off a cliff? (wearing a nice top and miniskirt and stockings?)

Who knows?
Who can help?

You are being rather silly and very unfair to yourself. You found this website out of several billion.

And now you want to just cry in your beer and tell everyone they don't unnerstan me nah ahsdgsgsg women heh woudhd have em.

[Stlalice]

Sheli,
The life stories of many of us in the TG/TS community tend to have many common themes. What you are saying now sounds so very much like what I was feeling about 3 to 4 years ago that its scary. Like you, I had been dressing for years and felt that I was in the wrong body - stress, depression, substance abuse, lonliness, and declining health had me in a downward spiral that had me considering suicide. I finally reached a point where I felt that coming out and being true to that person trapped within was the only way I could go on living. Life since then can best be described in the words of The Grateful Dead - "What a long strange trip it's been". Knowing so little of your situation I heitate to give anything but the most general of advice. Only two things really make sense for you right now - first, find a good therapist that specializes in Gender Issues to help you work through your feelings and assist you in figuring out what you are and what to do about it. If nothing else e-mail/PM me with your state and town/city of residence and I'll check the professional listings through the International Foundation for Gender Education for anyone close to you. Or check their web site at www.ifge.org and/or call their office in Waltham Mass. - if you do you will be talking to a Transperson who has been there and done that and will give you good advice. Second - stick with the forums at Crossdressers.com - there are many of us there who will listen to you and provide advice and/or sympathy. But most of all - Hang in there kid - if you want to talk you can either reply to this e-mail or PM me at the forums - I suspect that we are roughly the same age bracket - I'll make time to talk to you - better that than have another name to read at a TDOR memorial service come November. :angel: :angel:

[TGMarla]

Julie's right. Don't worry...you'll get used to her. Then you'll even get to like her. :D And did I mention that she's right?

Let it out. What else is a support forum for? I guarantee that whatever your particular problem is, there are people here who have gone through or are in a similar situation. It's probably not worth being so upset over, either. So spill it, g'friend.

Then you can pour yourself another.

[Jasmine Ellis]

Tell us so we can help dear

[Ms. Donna]

Sheli,

I posted this on Usenet back in January 1998:

Subject: Donna doesn't live here anymore

Friday night/Saturday morning at 1:30am, my wife woke me up about a dream she just had. In it, I was no longer the husband she married and her life was a wreck; a common theme. As we talked, it became clear to me that this deluded idea I have about living a peaceful coexistance with myself is just that, a delusion. My wife says that I'll just keep pushing what I can get away with: pants, shirts, shoes... She's right! I want to wear and be what I want, when I want. Yea, right.

She has stated that she doesn't want to have to keep checking that I am dressed in an 'acceptable' manner. She says that I can do my thing when the kids aren't around, or socially once a week or so. Fact: with a new child, the kids will *always* be around. And as for a weekly outing; I get home to the suburbs at about 6:30pm. Where the hell am I going to go and for how long at that point. It's a nice idea, buy I know better.

Saturday morning, we (my wife, daughter and I) went to Westchester to visit some friends. I cried the entire trip there. I've said it before, self realization is a painful thing. It became clear what I must do.

Relativity states the two objects can not exist in the same space at the same point in time. I now know this to be all too true.

I made a commitment to my wife and kids; a contract, if you will. Terms didn't allow a provision for this.

What I want and what I can have are mutually exclusive. I have but one choice:

I'm sending Donna away.

Donna is like a plant, in need of light, caring and attention. Four years ago, she was shut away, but with just enough light and attention that she survived. I shan't make the same mistake again. This time, with the proper space in which to shut her in, the darkest and most isolated I can find, she'll finally whither and die.

I'm starting the painful process of yet again deconstructing myself and building a more 'socially acceptable' one. With a little luck, I'll make it to see my kids get married.

My web site will remain up. People out there seem to get something from it, and as I've paid for the domain name and such. What's one more site eating up bandwidth?

To all who have been supportive of me: A most heart felt thank you.

To all whom I have helped: I'm glad to have had a positive effect on your lives.

To all who have found the balance in their lives to be themselves: You are truly blessed.

To all those who are struggling with who they are: May you find the peace and happiness which you deserve.

To all the SO out there: Don't give up on us. We really are good people and worth the effort.

Thanks for everything.

Sound familiar??? We've all been there, done that and can attest to the futility of it. You *need* to communicate with people - people who can actually relate to what you're feeling because they themselves have been there.

You can't put Sheli away because you and Sheli are one in the same person - you just don't realize it yet. :) Why not give yourself the opportunity to let people who care try and work you through some of this.

Love & Stuff,
Donna

[mistunderstood]

I know I do not know you and I wish I did. I have found in this web site more than just a place to post, I have been finding a family. A group of wonderful ladies and gentelmen who take time to listen and try to help. I understand how you feel alone lost and scared, confused and maybe a little angry. Angry because why can I not be "normal". I hope that you at lease keep reading the postes here if you do nothing else. Please hang in there and If you would like you can e-mail me any time.