gotten tired of it

[paula1911]

being able to dress when ever I want to I have gotten tired of it. I don't know how women do it. It's a PIA, the stockings, bras, dress, shoes, makeup, wig, shopping, etc. My god it's time consuming. So, I am going back to my man side for a while. Pants/shorts, shirt, boots and off I go. Quick and easy. I guess I am not a hard core CD anymore. But I may be back some day, who knows.

[Candice Mae]

There is a definite price of being a woman, and I mean that on more then a monetary level.

[Andy66]

If it feels good, do it, Paula... If it doesnt feel good, dont do it. :)

[MissTee]

Like everything else, if you are free to do it enough then the new wears off. When I started I had to have everything girly from heels to full makeup to sparkly dresses and beyond. After having had the chance to dress often as I like, I now prefer the simple skirts and blouses and cute comfy shoes. Wig and forms usually, but rarely any makeup beyond lipstick. That said, I continue to dress, just not elaborately so.

[Beverley Sims]

Paula,
Some of us are enticed by the forbidden fruit aspect and when you get the opportunity to engage freely in dressing the challenge is not there.

It is something you can always come back to at some other time if you desire.

[suchacutie]

It sounds like you had a goal to dress 24/7, but maybe that wasn't the real goal. This brief respitmight be a good chance to put your femme self into perspective in order to redefine those goals. It's a very good thing to do regularly.

[Lillyasia]

I especially like that third essential male item, or more specifically what goes with it. Probably the second half of your name.

[Tinkerbell-GG]

So, I am going back to my man side for a while. Pants/shorts, shirt, boots and off I go.

Jealous! I always wear make up and style my hair....Every. Single. Day. I fear it was indoctrinated into me by all the female members of my family when I was young and impressionable (and probably because I was a Tomboy kid and they wanted to redirect me, lol) and now I swear I feel naked without it even when wearing sweat pants and running shoes! So enjoy your man time. I wish I could spend a little time there myself!

[darla_g]

Paula, i guess for some people dressing is like the ultimate taboo where society tells you can't do something so you really want to do it. If you have the ultimate freedom to dress all the time but don't I wouldn't stress over it. Yes it can be hard work

[sometimes_miss]

being able to dress when ever I want to I have gotten tired of it. I don't know how women do it. It's a PIA, the stockings, bras, dress, shoes, makeup, wig, shopping, etc. My god it's time consuming.
For some of us, the process is an affirmation of what we feel ourselves to be. Spending all that time and effort trying to look and feel female is part of what makes us feel good about ourselves. How do women do it? Well, how do you go to work every day, facing hard work and competition to get ahead in the workplace? You dedicate 8 hours a day minimum, five days a week, then you go out on the weekends and play golf with your boss and have to compliment him on his game, while successfully letting him win even though in reality you could easily trounce him, but you've mastered the acting bit about being the lesser golfer so he'll like you and maybe even promote you. How do you do it? It's a PIA. Wearing a work specific outfit, sucking up to the boss, lying to your competitors, subordinates, employees, all to get ahead and make a few more bucks, always under pressure to be more successful. How do men do it, all that constant pressure to succeed, prove yourselves ambitious above all the other men. How on earth do you do it. My god, it's time consuming isn't it.

Doesn't matter which sex you are. Life isn't easy for either of us. It's just....different.

[Adriana Moretti]

ha ha yup....it is hard to do everyday ...it can be exausting, i will go a week or 2 at a time in girl mode but by day 3 or 4 i'm like ok...i have to get ready again???...it's hard work to do everyday. And people wonder why some days i will just wear sweatpants and girlie sneakers, or comfy leggings. If you only dress once a month its easy to explode into pink fairy dust.....do it for an extended period of time...and comfort begins to rule the day. Today will be my first time dressing in 3 weeks.....2 showers just to shave my head, beard,and arms...i let them grow for three weeks LOL. it will probably take 4 or 5 hours to get back in the swing..eyebrows etc.....guy mode i get lazy.But it is good to be a guy sometimes. Then its beer and burger time....

[Katey888]

If you only dress once a month its easy to explode into pink fairy dust.....

Hey! I represent that remark!!! ;)

Paula - perhaps this is something you just need to dip into once in a while... I think many of us are very part-timers - I haven't gone back since my outing of nearly a month ago, and once or twice a month is probably enough for me. Don't feel like this is something you have to do or that the forum here sets the baseline for behaviour - it definitively does NOT! :)

It helps to remember that forums like these are largely populated by the folk who are MOST enthusiastic about their little passion... Of course the ones that post the most are generally the ones that have something to post about - they do more and they want to share it.. Nothing wrong with that, but it sometimes gives the impression that this is the way this thing is supposed to be, when there is truly no right or wrong - just whatever makes you, as an individual, feel comfortable... :hugs:

For me, I truly can't be putting any effort into looking like a girl on her day-off (no offence, comfortable girls.. ;)) - for me it just has to be that infrequent explosion of pink fairy dust... you just need to find your own comfort zone... :)

Katey x

[Amanda L.]

Balance and perspective. Two words that have a lot to do with how we handle this 'pass time'.
Some of us forget to exercise this from time to time and then the excrement is projected into the rotating blades.
Good luck dude
Amanda

[Claire Cook]

Hi Paula,

This is probably something a lot -- if not all -- of us have gone through (see recent posts). Time will tell if you will go back to it. My hunch is that the urge is always there, even if we bury it deep. Yes, it is a bother. I recently went to my new dentist for an early AM appointment and told the receptionist how much I now appreciate what it takes for women to get ready in the morning. She said "You probably don't know the half of it."

I now find that I spend less time dealing with makeup and fussing over my looks than I used to. Just enough so that I am presentable and the beard doesn't show too much. But hon, for me it is worth the trouble. :heehee:

[Jenny Elwood]

Good for you! I also get fed-up with this "Look at me, I'm so girly!" nonsense every once in a while. You're a dude: Embrace it!

[Marcelle]

Paula as others have said it is about balance. Your "femme" side has become saturated and now your "boy" side needs time to be out in the world. Take your time and should you choose to return as Paula again . . . we will be here.

Hugs

Isha

[Kate Simmons]

Now you realize why many women dress more comfortably these days. Welcome to the practicality club. :battingeyelashes::)

[noeleena]

Hi .

You dont know how... WE.... do it , well depends on what you wear , Im in skirts allmost every day and i do not take long to get dressed , 15 min,s makeup is lippy and eye brow liner only ,

a skirt singlet a top and my jacket shoes or boots earings neckless maybe my watch socks or tights and head wear my scarve done as like a turbin and thats it really , and most days are the same. if im going out on Sundays or a do ill dress with something a little nicer as i did to day and got some lovely comments from my friends as i dressed up a bit, summer/ spring weather.

well was a lovely sunny day so a walk about was the order of the day ,

i could do like many other women do and not bother be in jeans and well why bother any way type of look , I like to look nice i have the body shape size and height weight and look right ,

I wont say about my face as i normaly do because that seems to be another hormonal change i have going on . its taken years to come to this place and so is pretty good,

So this is how i do it and this of cause is where we are different you can take it or leave it ,

...noeleena...

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Paula, No one ever said that being a lady was going to be easy, I enjoy every minute that I'm dressed.:hugs:

[Krisi]

There's no rule that sys you have to dress as a woman every so many days to continue your membership.

I do think you are making it so difficult that it's not worth the trouble to you. Not all women wear stockings and makeup every day. I am up and dressed for around the house in twenty minutes or so. As for shopping, once you have your stuff there's no need to continue to shop unless you want to.

[Erica Marie]

Paula, for a cder it is a bit more work. Remember besides looking nice, we must also hide the guy. The thing to remember is natural, not all women wear pantyhose, dresses and heels everyday, heck alot never dress that way. Try casual, a nice pair of jeans, a pullover and some light make up. You will be suprised how good you feel and a lot less effort.

[kimdl93]

Everyone has different motivations and they change over time. It's perfectly understandable. For me,meeting dressed is never a chore or a PIA..so I guess I'll be doing it for a good long while to come.

[CarlaWestin]

Hey Paula, It's natural and healthy for the pink tide to ebb and flow, high and low. I've been cross-crossdressing as a dude my whole life.

[Anna H]

no worries. i'll cover CD'ing for anyone who needs a break.

you'll get full credit for it. ♥

i have big crystal vases full of pink fairy dust i need to use up.

lol!

[Sarasometimes]

It is a lot of effort to go out enfemme since to do that you need all those things to be presentable but that isn't true for GG's. They can pick their spot on the appearance scale from day to day (granted work may require a lot of effort) and generally be supported. I read an article in a fashion mag about how a GG should pull off the boyfriend...look, and it said buy a men's blazer, or shirt and if they will fit you even try a pair of men's shoes. Pair them with a softer purse handbag to soften the look if they want to?
I know that if my segment of society was really acceptable to me dressing in some guy and some women's clothes on a regular basis I would skip the enfemme route almost entirely. I do the enfemme blend/pass thing out of what I strongly feel is a necessity to move about the cabin freely.

Enjoy the break and we look forward to your happy return when it feels right for you.

[Chari]

You should always be comfortable and confident in whatever you choose to wear Paula! BTW, CDing is a part of who you are, and will NEVER go away. Enjoy.

[Eringirl]

Yup, it is all about balance. Some times it is nice to go the whole nine yards with a nice dress etc. Other times, jeans and top, depending what the occasion calls for. After a while, you get good at it. I can be ready, make up, hair and all in 30 minutes, so not much effort for me as it used to be. For me, I like it, but that is just me.

Erin

P.S. Katey, LOVE the new avatar! So CUTE!

[Tracii G]

Makes sense to me just take a break and wear what you want.
I can dress anytime as well but don't go all out femme everyday mostly a mix.
Having a balance is a good thing.

[docrobbysherry]

Paula, I believe u have defined the main difference between CD's and TS's. We CD's wish to look like the ideal woman in our minds. When we dress we want to go all the way. No matter the discomfort or effort involved. TS's r satisfied to resemble regular women. And, like to be comfortable to doing it.

Personally? After concentrating on dressing up for 6 Halloween events in 10 days and my bedroom looking like an explosion in a costume store, I'm not likely to dress again until Xmas!:straightface:

[Jaylyn]

I have to agree with Paula I have days I could care less about dressing. Then some days all the stars align and bam I want to spend hours dressed to the max. I enjoy my male time this time of year ( deer hunting season in Texas) I hunted three days with just wranglers and hunting rubber boots on. This morning I get up and since it was chilly outside I put on my panty hose under my wranglers. I've found they keep you warm so male underdressing or being common sensed. I came in and thought since I already have my hose on, think I'll dress in a skirt while I fix lunch and eat. No makeup just a "T" shirt and hose house shoes and a skirt. I think the balance thing discussed thus far is the way I like it. Who knows what I might wake up and decide tomorrow. I might wake up and be in a feminine mood and dress in my mini, heels and garters, plus forms. I say let your heart lead you and let your inner person say hey I'm glad I'm male or I'm glad I've got the fog today. I'm thinking maybe us men have mood swings as much as women. My wife dresses every morning for work but on her days off she looks more like me in my "T " shirts and house shoes. Take some time off and see if the urge hits and ever how strong the urge is pursue it to that degree.

[Jorja]

It's a PIA, the stockings, bras, dress, shoes, makeup, wig, shopping, etc. My god it's time consuming.

OMG, is a statement like this even allowed on a CD forum? :)

It's ok Paula, nobody said you can't be him sometimes too. Most CDs that I know I see and meet in drab mode most of the time. Just be you and dress when you like. Just don't show up at the club without dressing one way or another! ;)

[MelanieAnne]

You only need to go the whole nine yards if you are going out. I spent a good part of the summer walking in the woods, in a thong, sandals, and a short sundress. No need for makup or wig out in the forest. Even around the house, less is best!

[heatherdress]

Good luck, Paula. No need to say good-bye or explain anything. This forum should be fun, or helpful, not a PIA. But you can always come back and be welcomed.


I always wonder why people feel they need to say goodbye when they are bored or disinterested. But so many do.

[ReineD]

Balance and perspective. Two words that have a lot to do with how we handle this 'pass time'.
Some of us forget to exercise this from time to time and then the excrement is projected into the rotating blades.

Love the way you put this. lol


To Paula, it seldom fails in this part of the forum … when a CDer has no more constraints, then some things just get worked out and the dire, constant need to dress dissipates.

There can be all sorts of constraints, both external and internal. The biggest external constraint for many people is a non-accepting spouse. But if she is supportive, then other external constraints might be having young children about, or the time spent on the job, or parents/other family members living nearby and constantly dropping in, etc.

Even if there are no external barriers, some CDers impose their own internal constraints on themselves. They may feel the need to suppress themselves for fear of rocking the boat with a supportive wife or with other people. Or they may still be living with a remnant of guilt, the feeling that they "shouldn't" do this, they shouldn't want to do this.

But when ALL constraints are removed and have been removed for awhile, usually there is a return to balance. Sadly, sometimes a divorce needs to occur before this will happen.

[Tracy Hazel Lee]

I dunno... The procedure is just as much fun as the end result. I never feel like the time consumed while doing makeup and getting dressed is ever a PIA. I love every minute of it.

[lynda]

hi i was like you .so i purged every thing. and went completly male. then i got the pink fog and stared buying everything backand went totoly female .still not happy.i made a post,and isha said when he dresses male he dresses all male and when he presents female he dresses all female. so he shares all his sides . thes made sence to me so thats what i do now and im much more pleased with myself because ive finely found balance.thank you isha . hugs lynda

[Confucius]

I believe our urge to cross-dress and the gratification we derive from it is largely due to the neurotransmitter, dopamine. However when we do the same thing over, and over, and over, well it causes our brain to fatigue and release less dopamine. Hence we find that going through periods of extensive cross-dressing makes it less of a thrill To raise our dopamine levels we need to either escalate our cross-dressing or undergo a period of no cross-dressing.

I would expect that if you purge and go drab for a while, you will eventually find that your cross-dressing desires will return.

[NicoleScott]

I dunno... The procedure is just as much fun as the end result. I never feel like the time consumed while doing makeup and getting dressed is ever a PIA. I love every minute of it.

Same here! The fun starts when the transformation starts. I love watching it as it happens, and because of that, I take my time with it, usually taking about an hour and a half, not because it must take that long, but because I want it to take that long. It's the process, not just the result.
We have seen similar complaints before ("Don't feel like it any more"). Most of us advise that the desire will come back. To me, the logic is somewhat twisted: "I'm a crossdresser and I should be crossdressing but I don't feel like it. What's wrong with me?" Instead, we are driven to crossdress (sometimes irrepressibly) and so we do. When other circumstances of life temporarily set aside the desire to crossdress, it should be nothing to fret about.

[bobbimo]

I was the same way, but you dont have to spend all that much time to look feminine.
Since I discovered that a quick swipe of mascara, lipstick bra and forms are the basics.
Of course you must shave your face but you would do that anyway.
now there are girls shorts and tees, leggings, lots of cute tops and skirts, and flats.
Yes you will need to do the leg shave but its not that much time, and if your not going out, you can go a few days without shaving.
Look around at all the casual GG's out there and you'll see you can look wonderful with minimal effort.
Bobbi

[Maria 60]

When my daughter took that job away from home and comes home a few days every two weeks, it was open season for dressing, but the problem is it was taking longer to clean up then the actual dressing itself. With that I was so tired of cleaning up I almost stopped dressing.