I owe a debt of gratitude much larger than I can ever repay.

[MsVal]

After months of lurking in the shadows, I joined this forum a year ago, yesterday.

During that year I have formed dear friendships with several kind souls. While sitting at the feet of those that have walked this path before me, I have learned about myself and my journey. Some of those things made me laugh, some made me cry. Some challenged me to reexamine my own beliefs and values.

In the course of that year I connected the dots that I had actively ignored for so long and began to wonder about myself. I have gone from questioning what is going on in my head to pure terror when I was told by a therapist that I will likely transition. Following the excellent advice of others on this forum, I changed therapists and am now peacefully learning how to accept myself as a plain vanilla crossdresser.

I disclosed to my wife soon, but not immediately after my initial discovery. I admit that the following weeks were AWFUL. Tears were shed by the bucket. Neither of us understanding completely what was going on, but knowing we love each other, we kept a dialog open. In time, we came to a peaceful state where I began to better understand her needs, and she, mine. Today I am pleased to report that she accepts that this is a permanent part of me that I have little control over, and she supports me in many ways. In return, I limit my activities to those that she is comfortable with, and act as the man she married when we are out. Her comfort level has grown at an incredible rate, and I am a more attentive and grateful man than I have ever been before.

With my wife's encouragement I have gone out to a picnic sponsored by a local transgender support group in a public park and had a great time. We have arranged for me to have some dressing time at home, and I have begun to attend a weekly TG support group. While on a six week vacation with my wife this summer I dressed about half the mornings and wore mostly clothes we purchased together.

To say that it has been an eventful year is an understatement. Through it all, you have patiently listened to my rants, corrected my errors, and shared in my joy.

To all of you I owe a debt of gratitude much larger than I can ever repay.

Unless and until I reach my debt limit, I will continue to demonstrate that there is truth to the adage that begins "An infinite number of monkeys at an infinite number of keyboards..."

Best wishes
MsVal

[Katey888]

Nice sentiments, MsVal... :)

As one of the more recently, resident , typing simians can I say that I am pleased that you (and probably others) are living proof that some of those who come here are genuinely able to sift nuggets of wisdom and insight from an awful lot of other... monkey output... :D

It's great that you and we all have somewhere safe to waffle, where - although we may not always collectively share the same opinion - we do at least know that we share something of the same weird and wonderful passion we have been gifted with.

I hope you and your dearest continue to make progress, and that you continue to share those successes and hardships (hopefully fewer!) with us all, as through this we all learn... and some of us can have a darned good gossip too! :)

Acceptance and tolerance are wonderful things, I give you joy of your relationship, MsVal! :wine:

Katey x

[kimdl93]

Val, it was encouraging to read of the progress you've made, personally and in your relationship, over the past year. I hope the coming years are as positive.

[mykell]

hi val,
i think you have already started to repay that dept, as of now i see that you have 860 posts, someone read them and some replied to those and information was exchanged and other dialogues were started, a ripple effect if i may say, so those here before and the newbs who come after will all offer an opinion, a suggestion, a different way to put these things in a perspective that will make sense to those of us who need these tidbits of information and use them on our journey.
everyone has a different way to compose this information and convey its message and we all have a different way to understand and absorb it, so as a whole we are stronger as we use the info that makes sense in our particular situation....so i guess what im trying to say is this is a dept free site.....hope this makes sense to someone......can someone please pass the bananas....


congratulations on your CDing journey.....

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Ms. Val, That was a wonderful story it's always great to hear that things can change for the better.

You are so lucky to have such a loving wife, The ball is in her court now,Just be careful not to overwhelm her with this program.

[Christen]

Ms Val, I'm so happy for you, and your wonderful wife. Our journeys are all different bonded by this need we share. Understanding it is hard enough, accepting it even harder I think.
We all owe some gratitude to the great girls and guys on the forum, but I agree with all who would say there is no debt around here.

Best,
Christen x

[Amanda L.]

Beautifully written Val, from the heart and deeply honest. I think a lot of what you have written will resonate with many of us here, especially the struggles we go through to come to terms with something we cannot fully explain.
Yes there are tears, frustration, a lot of anger but there are great times of joy, fun, laughter and happiness experienced a long the way.
The relationships we develop through the sharing of this common bond are, in my opinion, for life and are to be treasured. I don't think we develop such deep friendships in the day to day world. It would be rare to share such deep and personal facts about ourselves with people who do not understand or empathize with us.
Congrats on your successes over the past 12 months
Luv
Amanda

[Jenny Elwood]

Hi Val

I am truly glad to hear that you (and your wife) got through the hard times and are better for it, and that you are in a happy place. Don't sell yourself short, you have made a great impact in terms of the wisdom you've brought here based on your own experience. Now, all we need is to see more pictures of Val getting out!

[Beverley Sims]

I am pleased that you have been able to progress as well as you have, keep up the good work.

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Val,
We are traveling on a similar bumpy road, no surprise, as we all share a similar experience to some degree.
As Christen stated there are no debts around here, from the person that replies to every thread, to the lurker that never posts a word, we are all here to learn about ourselves. You sharing your experiences is helping everyone, it's the butterfly effect in action!
Thank you so much for being such an active member here.
Much Love,
Kristyn

[Teresa]

Msval,
As you mentioned in a our recent PM we joined the forum at the same time, and I'm so glad you are able to write this thread thanking people for the way your life has changed !
I know you wish I could do the same, but the crossroads I'm at are just so confusing at the moment, most of the options point to paths I've taken before and have failed to work, I guess if I keep going round in circles at least I'm moving !
Things can change, I hope my changes are as successful as your , thanks for sharing Val !

[Marcelle]

Hi Ms Val,

It is amazing the amount of growth you have gone through over the year and while it may have been bumpy it has brought you and your lovely wife to a good place and from what I read a much strengthened relationship. As others have said, there is no debt to pay, we are all here for each other and we all learn and grow just by being part of this great community.

Hugs

Isha

[Eringirl]

Hi Val:

Wonderful heart felt post ! As a newbie here myself, I hope that one day I will be able to give back. But I remain ensconced at the feet of others more experienced and wise than I. I dream of the acceptance that you have, but alas, I feel that is not in my stars. So happy that you have found a brilliant balance. !! Hoping things continue to be bright for you and your wife.

Erin

[Heather_Shirly]

MsVal you are so right and i am so happy for you!!!!!!!

Reading posts like these make me feel good and gives me hope. I to hope that soon i can find a support group to start going to and stop hiding in the dark all the time.

I to found this site about a year ago and I always say it is like i found a home.

A few weeks ago i worked up the courage to talk to my wife finally. She is very accepting of it. Since then i have been able to dress to go to bed and she even took me out to go buy some panties! What a thrill that was. I have found the same thing and that is that once we let it out and tell our SOs all of a sudden we do become closer to them. It is like this barrier goes away and one does become more attentive and, at least for me, more understanding of to SOs needs.

MsVal you said it well and I think that we all owe a debit of gratitude for this site and all the people who have built it and take care of it to provide a place for all of us.

Without this site i think many of use would not find the resources, information and friendships in such a safe way.


Let's hear it for our SOs and give a big thanks to everyone that runs these wonderful forums for us!!!!!!!!!!!

[MsVal]

<blush>
I'm a little embarrassed by all the attention.

I was apprehensive about posting my story out of fear that my story of acceptance and support may make some of my sisters distraught. Please forgive me if it has.

We share a common symptom of a deeper condition, and I find comfort is the words of my sisters. If it were possible, I would sit next to you, laugh with you, rant with you, and have a good cry with you. In the end, I would hug each of you and tell you how much your kindness means to me. Sadly, I will never have an opportunity to meet most of you. We will have to settle for private messages that close with a hug, such as this one.

((hug))
MsVal

[Maria 60]

That's great Val. The greatest part of all is you are living proof that when two people actually love each other, I mean really love each other, no mountain is to high to climb no problem can't go unsolved without both parties being happy. There is always a happy medium if you are both willing to give it a chance, and a little sacrifice for each other. The biggest part of enjoying crossdressing is when you finally find where you stand, and were you wish to go with it. Myself with the help of this forum and mostly my wife who tells me not to look to much into it and just enjoy it the gift I very been given. It is so great to hear your advancement and sounds like also with the help of your wife life sounds great over there. It's so nice to hear positive stories and I to turn a lot to the community here for advice and it feels good that though out the years I have been given great advice, and most of all, I like yourself, we are taking serious. Hope to hear more happy stories from you in the future.

[carhill2mn]

Thanks for sharing your uplifting story with us.

[samantha rogers]

Love you, Val, but, lol, I expect you know that.
Big Hugs