lilcutereena
11-10-2014, 04:07 PM
To begin, I'm a long-time lurker on here. I've never posted here or anywhere else on the Internet. But I've been following this site for years and love hearing all the great stories of gals moving forward in their CD life. I had a HUGE week last week. More progress in 5 days than ever before. So I thought what a better time to come on and share.
So just some background. I'm a closeted CD. I haven't shown anyone except the SO. I do some underdressing and some dressing up at home or in hotels when I'm on a trip, but that's it. When I do dress, I go all out, but it's for nobody else.
Last week I went to Orlando for a work conference. Most of the times in those conference, I spend in the room working or goofing off. So I tend to spend most of the time dressed up in gal mode. Only men's wear I take is what I'd wear to events or going out with conference buddies. But this trip was very different. One thing after another gave me courage to not only start showing fem self, but really look at myself as fem and allow others to do so.
I got in at night, took a shower, threw on a bra and panties and passed out. Oh, and before all that, I put one of those breakfast cards on my door. My first morning there, I woke up late mostly because of the time zone shift from CA to FL. I heard a distant knocking and a mumbled voice but didn't react. I heard a little more commotion but nothing registered. All that was probably a matter of seconds, but felt like forever. Then, I got out of bed to see what's going on and as I turned from the bedroom area of the suite to the family room area it happened. It was housekeeping who knocked. It was a youngish girl with glasses who was thoroughly petrified. She gasped, caught her breath, then asked if I'd like my room cleaned. I was petrified too! I stood there in my bra and panties, completely frozen and I couldn't answer her question. And by the way, the panties weren't exactly boyshorts.
So finally, I said sure clean the room. Said sorry for scaring her and I'll put something on. She was actually great! She said she has seen a lot in her job and no need to worry. I opened my suitcase and was going through it looking for some dress pants and a dress shirt to throw on. Then, another knock! It was room service this time with my french toast! She clearly didn't know what to do. She saw I was in my bra and panties looking through a suitcase, but also that there was housekeeping in the room. So she asked where I want it. I pointed to the desk and said I'm just looking for some clothes to put on. She just smiled and said "well at least you're wearing something." She brought me the check and I signed. She took it back and asked if there's anything else I need. Then right before turning away to leave she said "Seriously, it's totally cool." The housekeeping girl replied saying, "See, it's what I said. We see it all." The two of them just started talking about all the things they see on their jobs. When the room service girl left, I went back to the suitcase to get clothes and housekeeping said not to worry, she's almost done. There really wasn't much to do in the first place. And when she was leaving she just smiled and said "see you tomorrow."
When I was alone, I had some time to think and it was pretty amazing how little they cared. It was also amazing that my first time seen in that mode I was in a bra and panties, not in a beautiful dress or bikini as I'd like it to have been. It still made me happy that even in that mode, they didn't care. And so why was I so worried about being seen as a girl?
The next morning, I ordered my breakfast much earlier. Before it came, I put on some pink spandex short shorts and a sports bra. Also, I put some light make-up on. Breakfast came and it was the same girl. She said, "you're looking cute today." Made my day!!! When housekeeping came by, it wasn't the same girl. Older lady. When I opened the door she asked if I want cleaning. Said yes, and she came in and did her thing. No words. At one point, the younger girl from the day before walked by, looked in and saw me at the desk working. She stopped, smiled and waived. :)
That night, I got fully dressed up in a nice dress I have, full make-up, heels, wig. Full 9. Said sorry, I locked myself out and need a key. I was scared the whole time of seeing someone who knows me. But I was also testing to see if I could pass, so if someone knows me would they know that's actually me? At the front desk, they just said, we're sorry, we only have a Mr. "Reena" staying here. Are you his wife? Best. Compliment. Ever! I explained who I am. I think he figured it out after hearing my voice. But he actually had a bellman escort me to the room.
That night, I went to the gym wearing the shorts and sports bra I had on in the morning. Late late night (2:30AM). Nobody was there, but it still felt so nice. I saw no people along the way. After that, I was feeling really daring so I got into a bikini that I always bring with me to take baths in. I went to the pool, which was closed, but still accessible. I swam in a bikini for the first time ever. As I was coming back wearing a cover-up and holding my towel and I noticed people I knew from conferences. Don't know them by name, they probably don't know me by name, bever spoken, but we recognize each other by face. They just said hi. I said high back.
Next morning, different breakfast server. An older guy. I was in a pink slip. He didn't mind at all either. Just business as usual. The housekeeping girl came later and she spoke a bit like it was normal. Said makeup really make me look like a girl.
That night, I went to the gym again, but this time a little later. I actually woke up early to go down at 4:30. As I was leaving, someone I knew well (former colleague) was walking my way. I turned and bolted. I made a quick decision that he was probably going into the gym since he was wearing shorts. So I went towards the front desk/lobby area. At ont point, I looked back and he was right behind me. Kept walking and noticing him behind me. So I went to the business center. Turned out so was he. I went in and sat down and leaned forward so he couldn't see my face. Then, a bit later, I just got up and left. He looked at me a little funny like he may recognize me, but didn't say anything.
The next day I got both my original housekeeping person. This time, while housekeeping was there, I just sat there on teh couch in a sports bra and yoga shorts. People walked by and definitely saw and I just didn't care. I loved the feeling of just being who I am. That night I went to the gym at a more respectible 10:30PM. It was me and a woman both on ellipticals. She clearly didn't notice or at least didn't care. I went to the joining women's restroom to avoid suspicion and she didn't seem to think that's the wrong place. But when I was leaving I saw her looking at my shorts and was clearly surprised.
After that, I was just fully content that I could go out as a woman or as a CD. It was my last night so I went to the pool. There was some people in the jacuzzi so I joined them and we just chatted. On the way back I was in a cover-up again and I ran into someone I know well. A colleague who I used to work with, then didn't but we kept in touch, then I got her hired at my current job. She saw me going into the gym earlier but didn't think it was me becasue .. well.. you know. We ended up hanging out in a couple chairs in an area that was central for people. Just sat and talked for a couple hours. About dressing, then about just normal things. It was great! People we both knew walked by and said hi. Nobody seemed shocked or anything. Biggest comment I got was, "Going with pink?" As if the color is the part that stood out.
Next morning, I got breakfast again. I let her know it was my last day but thanked her for opening up new adventures. Talked to her for a bit until she had to go back. We exchanged emails and she said to keep her up to date on the progress of things. The housekeeping girl wasn't there yet by the time I left.
All in all, it was a great trip. At first I thought a lot of random stuff happened that was just a huge coincidence. But then, I realized I just needed that first push and everything else was just me gaining confidence to do what I really want to do and be who I want to be. Sorry it's a long post, but it was a huge eye-opening experience!
So just some background. I'm a closeted CD. I haven't shown anyone except the SO. I do some underdressing and some dressing up at home or in hotels when I'm on a trip, but that's it. When I do dress, I go all out, but it's for nobody else.
Last week I went to Orlando for a work conference. Most of the times in those conference, I spend in the room working or goofing off. So I tend to spend most of the time dressed up in gal mode. Only men's wear I take is what I'd wear to events or going out with conference buddies. But this trip was very different. One thing after another gave me courage to not only start showing fem self, but really look at myself as fem and allow others to do so.
I got in at night, took a shower, threw on a bra and panties and passed out. Oh, and before all that, I put one of those breakfast cards on my door. My first morning there, I woke up late mostly because of the time zone shift from CA to FL. I heard a distant knocking and a mumbled voice but didn't react. I heard a little more commotion but nothing registered. All that was probably a matter of seconds, but felt like forever. Then, I got out of bed to see what's going on and as I turned from the bedroom area of the suite to the family room area it happened. It was housekeeping who knocked. It was a youngish girl with glasses who was thoroughly petrified. She gasped, caught her breath, then asked if I'd like my room cleaned. I was petrified too! I stood there in my bra and panties, completely frozen and I couldn't answer her question. And by the way, the panties weren't exactly boyshorts.
So finally, I said sure clean the room. Said sorry for scaring her and I'll put something on. She was actually great! She said she has seen a lot in her job and no need to worry. I opened my suitcase and was going through it looking for some dress pants and a dress shirt to throw on. Then, another knock! It was room service this time with my french toast! She clearly didn't know what to do. She saw I was in my bra and panties looking through a suitcase, but also that there was housekeeping in the room. So she asked where I want it. I pointed to the desk and said I'm just looking for some clothes to put on. She just smiled and said "well at least you're wearing something." She brought me the check and I signed. She took it back and asked if there's anything else I need. Then right before turning away to leave she said "Seriously, it's totally cool." The housekeeping girl replied saying, "See, it's what I said. We see it all." The two of them just started talking about all the things they see on their jobs. When the room service girl left, I went back to the suitcase to get clothes and housekeeping said not to worry, she's almost done. There really wasn't much to do in the first place. And when she was leaving she just smiled and said "see you tomorrow."
When I was alone, I had some time to think and it was pretty amazing how little they cared. It was also amazing that my first time seen in that mode I was in a bra and panties, not in a beautiful dress or bikini as I'd like it to have been. It still made me happy that even in that mode, they didn't care. And so why was I so worried about being seen as a girl?
The next morning, I ordered my breakfast much earlier. Before it came, I put on some pink spandex short shorts and a sports bra. Also, I put some light make-up on. Breakfast came and it was the same girl. She said, "you're looking cute today." Made my day!!! When housekeeping came by, it wasn't the same girl. Older lady. When I opened the door she asked if I want cleaning. Said yes, and she came in and did her thing. No words. At one point, the younger girl from the day before walked by, looked in and saw me at the desk working. She stopped, smiled and waived. :)
That night, I got fully dressed up in a nice dress I have, full make-up, heels, wig. Full 9. Said sorry, I locked myself out and need a key. I was scared the whole time of seeing someone who knows me. But I was also testing to see if I could pass, so if someone knows me would they know that's actually me? At the front desk, they just said, we're sorry, we only have a Mr. "Reena" staying here. Are you his wife? Best. Compliment. Ever! I explained who I am. I think he figured it out after hearing my voice. But he actually had a bellman escort me to the room.
That night, I went to the gym wearing the shorts and sports bra I had on in the morning. Late late night (2:30AM). Nobody was there, but it still felt so nice. I saw no people along the way. After that, I was feeling really daring so I got into a bikini that I always bring with me to take baths in. I went to the pool, which was closed, but still accessible. I swam in a bikini for the first time ever. As I was coming back wearing a cover-up and holding my towel and I noticed people I knew from conferences. Don't know them by name, they probably don't know me by name, bever spoken, but we recognize each other by face. They just said hi. I said high back.
Next morning, different breakfast server. An older guy. I was in a pink slip. He didn't mind at all either. Just business as usual. The housekeeping girl came later and she spoke a bit like it was normal. Said makeup really make me look like a girl.
That night, I went to the gym again, but this time a little later. I actually woke up early to go down at 4:30. As I was leaving, someone I knew well (former colleague) was walking my way. I turned and bolted. I made a quick decision that he was probably going into the gym since he was wearing shorts. So I went towards the front desk/lobby area. At ont point, I looked back and he was right behind me. Kept walking and noticing him behind me. So I went to the business center. Turned out so was he. I went in and sat down and leaned forward so he couldn't see my face. Then, a bit later, I just got up and left. He looked at me a little funny like he may recognize me, but didn't say anything.
The next day I got both my original housekeeping person. This time, while housekeeping was there, I just sat there on teh couch in a sports bra and yoga shorts. People walked by and definitely saw and I just didn't care. I loved the feeling of just being who I am. That night I went to the gym at a more respectible 10:30PM. It was me and a woman both on ellipticals. She clearly didn't notice or at least didn't care. I went to the joining women's restroom to avoid suspicion and she didn't seem to think that's the wrong place. But when I was leaving I saw her looking at my shorts and was clearly surprised.
After that, I was just fully content that I could go out as a woman or as a CD. It was my last night so I went to the pool. There was some people in the jacuzzi so I joined them and we just chatted. On the way back I was in a cover-up again and I ran into someone I know well. A colleague who I used to work with, then didn't but we kept in touch, then I got her hired at my current job. She saw me going into the gym earlier but didn't think it was me becasue .. well.. you know. We ended up hanging out in a couple chairs in an area that was central for people. Just sat and talked for a couple hours. About dressing, then about just normal things. It was great! People we both knew walked by and said hi. Nobody seemed shocked or anything. Biggest comment I got was, "Going with pink?" As if the color is the part that stood out.
Next morning, I got breakfast again. I let her know it was my last day but thanked her for opening up new adventures. Talked to her for a bit until she had to go back. We exchanged emails and she said to keep her up to date on the progress of things. The housekeeping girl wasn't there yet by the time I left.
All in all, it was a great trip. At first I thought a lot of random stuff happened that was just a huge coincidence. But then, I realized I just needed that first push and everything else was just me gaining confidence to do what I really want to do and be who I want to be. Sorry it's a long post, but it was a huge eye-opening experience!