How to hide your crossdressing from a maid

[Karolyn]

Hi everyone,

I just moved to my first house. Since there was a lot of work before moving in (painting, lawn, carpet, packing my stuff), I hired a maid for doing the big top-to-bottom cleaning while the house was empty. She did a great job, and I am thinking of hiring her monthly for maintenance cleaning. But I don't know how to hide my crossdressing without being suspicious.

I can't just hide everything in the attic every time she is going to come, I really have a lot of clothes accumulated over the years (I think I have more than male clothes!), and it would take a lot of time to move them there and back. I would like to keep them in place if possible. If I tell the maid "please don't clean the closet" (when she vacuums the master bedroom), she will probably be wondering why, and even if she looks professional enough, she might be curious enough to have a peek.

Do you have any idea, or any excuse I could give for her to avoid that specific area of the house and not being suspicious? Thanks girls!

[Eryn]

If you're going to have someone in your house regularly and expect them to do a good job of cleaning then they will need access to everything that needs cleaned. You could put a lock on a closet and store your things in there.

When you get right down to it, she will likely find out eventually. It's really none of her business and if she is a professional she will do her job and not be concerned with her customer's peccadillos. You might consider not doing anything special to hide your things and let her think what she may. If you start hiding or making up stories then she has something juicy to think about. Maids see closets full of dresses every single day so yours won't really be unusual.

[KateSpade83]

My aunt and I have a full-time live-in house maid which we pay 6000 pesos a month. My aunt always told me never to dress up, and if this maid sees me, she will spread all kinds of gossip and quit. Well, one morning she saw me fully dressed up in a nice skirt suit, and she was just surprised and amazed. But she never quit. I guess she was amazed at how beautiful I was, from the look on her face. So it's no big deal if your maid finds out.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

a) why would she care what you wear?
b) why would you care what she thinks - unless she works for someone you know
c) she's going to find out anyway, because sooner or later you're going to make a mistake

It sounds like you live alone Viny, and the great luxury of living alone is not being answerable to other people's domestic preferences. Make the most of it dear.

Looks like you're into cosplay? Why not get a maid's outfit and work with her? It's always lovely to have a sister.

PS We have a cleaner about twice a month, and I'm always careful to put away my lingerie, but I'm guessing she already knows somehow or other.

[glynda]

Put a locking knob on the closet door?

[Teresa]

Viny,
If you have another hobby other than CDing just say that room doesn't need cleaning !
I had a darkroom for my business at home, I kept that clean because of the chemical hazards !
I also paint at home in a separate studio, again I would keep that clean !

[Mink]

tell her there are RATS in there!

don't go in there!

[Martina]

My throughts on this is just to be open and have your things as you like them.
Why go to the trouble of trying to hide your things from her, she is there to keep your home clean and tidy.

Martina

[Marcelle]

Hi Viny,

I normally find the more you try to hide things (e.g., a lock on a closet door looks quite ominous) the more people's imagination run wild. A close friend of mine worked for a cleaning company when she was going to university and the stuff she saw in people's houses was mind boggling but she was professional about it. If your maid works for a reputable company, is bonded and is professional I am sure she will keep her comments to herself. However, if you are truly concerned then I suppose you could buy non transparent garment bags and store your dresses and other women's clothing in those. These could hang in your closet and she would just think you are a neat freak.

Hugs

Isha

[Mink]

i'm telling you, man...

just tell her there are frickin RATS in there

she won't go in there!

[Sara Jessica]

Solution #1: It's the maid for gosh sakes, why would she even blink an eye??? She is there to do a job.

Solution #2: A lock.

www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?220319-BUILDING-a-better-closet&highlight=

Although I agree with Isha in that a lock on a closet door such as this looks rather ominous and makes people think, the peeps that will think in my home are children and the lock beats the alternative, them having free reign which guarantees the closet would have been opened by now.

If you have a walk-in closet with a regular handset, then your task is easy, just put a locking handset on it and you're done.

[Launa]

They say you should only be concerned about 5% or less of the things you worry and fret about. The other 95% of your worries is not worth worrying about.

This is one of those things and as long as you don't have the dresses spread out across your bed and wigs on Styrofoam heads in your room then you'll be fine. They have their own lives to live and this is just a job for them. Chances are they are not like a couple 15 year old kids trying to snoop through a panty drawer to find things.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

i'm telling you, man...

just tell her there are frickin RATS in there

she won't go in there!

Disagree. Some cleaners would regard that as a challenge. We had one last year who wins muscle building competitions- a scary lady. Had to let her go because she worked so fast she missed a lot of stuff- but she'd have eaten your rats for breakfast- our dogs were terrified of her.

[Krisi]

Put a lock on the door. Tell the maid it's just storage and doesn't need to be cleaned.

This will be a lot more believable if the closet is in a spare bedroom, not the one you use.

[CONSUELO]

This reminds me of an incident with the HVAC repair man. He was at the house doing his bi-annual check of the air conditioning and heating systems. He decided that he needed to go into the master bathroom to check on the position of a air return duct. There were skirts and slips and wigs on styrofoam heads as well as make up. When he came out he gave me an enquiring look which I did not acknowledge. His company still does the bi-annual check.

Also had a lady who used to occassioally do laundry and one day she asked why she never saw male style underwear in the hamper. Again, I ignored the question as I saw no need to explain anything.

We have a commercial arrangement. I don't have to explain or defend any details of my private life and neither should you.

Over and over there are posts on this site defending our right to behave as we want and to "stand tall" as cross dressers and then we behave as if we are completely ashamed of ourselves and our love of cross dressing. Which is it to be?

[Teresa]

Nikki,
We had a cleaning lady who didn't eat rats but destroyed vacuum cleaners ! She burnt three out in as many months ! She had to go, we couldn't afford new machines at that rate !!

Viny ,
The other answer would be just to dress in front of her as if it was your normal way of life !

[CarlaWestin]

Make the most of it dear.

Looks like you're into cosplay? Why not get a maid's outfit and work with her? It's always lovely to have a sister.

I think this is the best response. If you have the right maid, no tellin', you might find all of your bras folded nicely in drawers. All your dresses hanging neatly. And all of your delicates laundered perfectly. If I could hire domestics, it would be understood right up front that they are hired help in my private environment and that includes the truth that I am a crossdresser. All of this hiding and sneaking around stuff only supports the erroneous narrow minded assumption that what we do is somehow wrong. We are man and woman. So, the man says, "I'm a crossdresser! You got a problem with that?" And the woman says, "Good! Love your earrings. I have a maid's dress and I want to help. There's going to be something extra in your pay this week. Thank you for your understanding."

[Amy Lynn3]

I have a lady that cleans for me on a regular basis. I do my washing when it is time for her to come, but leave my cloths out for her to fold. She folds my panties and other female clothing right along with any male clothing. The first time she saw the panties, I told her.....no bones about it...a woman is in this house at times. Who cares if she bought what I said

I do have one bedroom I call my man cave, that I only allow her to clean the floor. I told her it was my hobby room and I did not want her to bother any of my hobby items, The closet is locked in that room and only I have the key. Have no idea if that helps or not....good luck with your issue.:battingeyelashes:

[sterusjon]

"Over and over there are posts on this site defending our right to behave as we want and to "stand tall" as cross dressers and then we behave as if we are completely ashamed of ourselves and our love of cross dressing. Which is it to be?"

Good question, Consuelo. Viny, no need to hide, no need to advertise. Just live your life as you wish. No harm, no foul.

Stephanie

[Adriana Moretti]

...you own a house, and can afford a maid to clean it along with 2 sets of wardrobes...life must be good...sounds like a good problem to have.

[Karolyn]

Thanks for your replies everyone!

You all made me realize it was actually not that big of a deal if she discovers it. After all, we should not be ashamed of it. We all love being crossdressers here for many reasons, it is just hard to make it socially accepted. After my good Halloween experience this year, I realized it was not a big deal, as long as it is presented properly. Also, the maid is a pro and she is supposed to keep it for herself. There is only one person we know in common, so that would limit the leak of information if it had to happen. But just to reduce the risk, I will still try to hide it a bit.

In the master bedroom, the closet is behind two giant sliding doors, so no locking possible. The other rooms have closets with small double doors, open from the center, so no standard locking handle can be added. Adding padlock or something like would make her imagination go wild probably. I will probably move my stuff in my hobby room (for music composition), and just let her know to do only a quick clean in that room (only vacuuming), I will just try to make the closet doors hard to reach for the vacuum cleaner and say that this closet is just storage.

Those comments about having rats in there or being dressed as a maid while helping (I pictured it in my mind, that was hilarious) made me laugh. Thanks for that! :D

Adriana, surprisingly, owning a 4 bedroom house alone in Florida costs me less than the 2 bedroom apartment I had before, in the last 5 years. It is all about location, I have to commute now (I used to walk to work), but this is not too bad (15 minutes). The price of the maid would not even make the monthly price go over the previous rent price. Also, I'm thinking of only doing the service once a month, I will still maintain the house partially myself.

[susants]

Can I be you maid
https://www.flickr.com/photos/7353532@N06/14268457840/

[suchacutie]

You have a girlfriend. Simple.

[Melanie Z]

You have a girlfriend. Simple.

I think this has got to be the best solution. If she's only coming once a month it would be easy to say the girlfriend is just at work. If the maid doesn't believe you that's her problem.

[lingerieLiz]

I've lived in a lot of places and had maid service much of the time. Never had a problem with them telling anyone that I knew. They may have talked about it at home or with friends. Who knows.

When I'm in a hotel I don't hide my clothes.

[justmetoo]

Why make up stories? It's your stuff. It's not illegal. You're not hurting anyone. I guess the only question is if it would hurt you if things got out (especially if you're "in the public eye", or if family would react badly), Using generic "you" there.

When I had a cleaning service I did put stuff away in closets and dressers and such, just so there wasn't stuff all over the floors, counter tops and such, that they were supposed to clean. I also don't like to have things scattered all over the house. If they ever went into the closets to clean or if they ever noticed anything they never said anything.

[Melanie Z]

I should have said that the girlfriend story was the best solution IF you really wanted to hide it. Obviously the ideal thing would be to say nothing and not care if she discovers it.

[justmetoo]

Sorry, Melanie, my reply wasn't directed specifically at you. :)
You're right, I think. Ideally it shouldn't matter.

[Melanie Z]

It's okay, I wasn't offended. I just wanted to clarify.

[Pumped]

Put a lock on the door to your hobby room and put your stash in that closet. Show her the room sometime to kill her curiosity, but clean that room yourself. Just let the maid know you have hobby stuff in the room you don't want people messing with, so you keep it locked.

Either that or just put the stash in the master bedroom closet, hung up and well displayed and tell her it belongs to a woman friend that stays when she is in town.

[Karolyn]

She already knows I'm single and living alone, so the girlfriend idea (which was a good one) is out. The idea of a friend having clothes there and stopping by might not work well, particularly since most of the clothes are night clothes and evening-style dresses. I don't have many casual clothes.

I will probably use the idea of the hobby room (I actually have one with all my computer and music equipment) and use its closet (I will use the closet of another bedroom for actual storage). I will say I will do the cleaning myself since many parts are fragile, and she will be able to see inside since the door will be open, so that will kill the curiosity. In that case, she will not really have reasons to go inside and open the closet. She will just thinks that it is storage for the equipment.

If she discovers the content after all, I will just say the truth. There is only one person we know in common, and that person knows none of my friends, so the risk of the information spreading is low.

Thanks for all your ideas!

[Beverley Sims]

Either tell her or let it slide and if she asks about the girlfriend tell her you are living in sin.:)
Both are practical ways of dealing with it.
Personally I would just do the housework myself or sub lease it to some girls which is what I did.

[Sara Jessica]

Like you said, the optimal solution is to simply own it. However, you said...


But just to reduce the risk, I will still try to hide it a bit.

OK, did you read the link I provided above?


In the master bedroom, the closet is behind two giant sliding doors, so no locking possible. The other rooms have closets with small double doors, open from the center, so no standard locking handle can be added. Adding padlock or something like would make her imagination go wild probably. I will probably move my stuff in my hobby room (for music composition), and just let her know to do only a quick clean in that room (only vacuuming), I will just try to make the closet doors hard to reach for the vacuum cleaner and say that this closet is just storage.


I'm thinking you didn't. :( Here it is again.....

www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?220319-BUILDING-a-better-closet&highlight=

Your situation is exactly the reason why I went to the trouble of posting step-by-step instructions with pictures showing how such doors can in fact be locked, certainly with enough security to keep out a maid. You describe the smaller doors which open from the center. Those are likely bifold doors and are what the lock I picture is made for. I adapted it to work on sliders.

So if you want to eliminate the risk rather than just reduce it, it's time to get to work!!!

[Crissy Kay]

You don't have to worry about it, if you are the maid!!

[Sarah V]

I am single and live by myself. I have a nice house, and since I have always traveled extensively for work, hence I am not home much, so I have a housekeeper who comes in every other week, to mainly dust, vacuum, keep the bathrooms looking respectable and the house generally picked-up. One thing I have never asked her to is my laundry. I take care of that myself.

However, she knows about Sarah, and is perfectly o.k. with it.

Likewise when traveling, I do not hide my clothing/toiletries in my hotel room either.

[Karolyn]

Hi Sara,

Sorry, I did read your reply above but forgot to check out the link. I just looked at it, and it is a pretty cool approach. I am definitely going to see if I can follow a similar idea. The closet is way wider than deep, so I can do a section for "him" and a section for "her" the same way.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I'm a part time CD, and married. But if I lived alone, I imagine a two bedroom apartment. One bedroom is blue, and the other is pink. When my daughter notices (the pink one), I would tell her that I rent the second room out to flight attendants who are hardly ever there.

[alwayshave]

Viny, Orlando is a large metropolitan area. I would think your only issue is if one of your neighbors uses the same maid. Short of that, I don't think maids are posting on maidsoutingcrosdressers dot com. Therefore, if your maid knows does that mean someone that you care about would find out? Also, there is such a thing a confidentiality agreement that you could have the maid sign. Financial damages are a strong motivator not to out someone.

[MissTee]

My experience is housekeepers gossip. A lot. They don't get paid much, and most come from disadvantaged backgrounds. If you pay them well and treat them with the respect they deserve, they will embrace and defend you regardless of your lifestyle nuances. I have a team of 3 we use at the primary residence and they have been with us for quite some time. They are like family. Do they know? Probably, yet they are very wise in the ways of sustaining an income protecting those that are good to them. All that said, if you are worried about keeping a secret a secret, lock your stuff in a closet. You can always say you keep your guns locked up in there.

[NicoleScott]

Viny, if you want to hide your things, you should. The replies "don't hide" is not an answer to "how to hide"
It would a big mistake to ASSUME that hired hands, health care workers, law offices, etc. are professionals that can be trusted not to reveal things they shouldn't, even by law (HIPAA, for health information for example).
Take the responsibility for your own privacy. Lock it up. No explanations needed.

[Judith96a]

It's your house so just tell her which rooms do or do not need cleaning.

If you're concerned about her snooping in your closet, do the old James Bond trick of lightly sticking a hair across the opening so that you can tell if it's been disturbed and tell her firmly "no snooping in closets". If the hair is disturbed then fire her for cause!

Alternatively, simply make sure that you're around on the first occasion that she sees the content of you female closet ("accidentally" leaving the closet door open should do the trick!) and when she gives you "that look" simply tell her that the feminine frillies are yours, that it's nobody's business but yours and that you would appreciate her keeping it that way (and tip well!)



When I'm in a hotel I don't hide my clothes.
Too right sister! I hang 'em out in the closet where they belong. Makeup goes on the bathroom counter where it belongs too! The only things that stay locked in my suitcase are my breast forms! For all the chamber maid knows, my SO is staying too!

[donnalee]

It's none of her business, period.
Get a lock, use it 24/7 so you'll set a routine for yourself; keep any keys on your person or in an area not in your house that is only accessible with a different key, such as your car trunk. There are many kinds of locks available for sliding doors; it is also possible to have one that is remotely controlled, either by RF or ultrasound, if you do not wish the appearance of a lock.
There are areas in my home that I restrict access to; they are off limits to anyone not vetted by me. One thing you need to consider is not only how trustworthy anybody who comes into your home is, but how trustworthy anyone they might talk to is; once the information is out there, it cannot be recalled. Security is something that needs to become a habit to be effective.

[Stephanie47]

If you're really concerned I suggest displaying pictures of you and some photo shopped female around your home. It may give the impression a woman lives with you. Put them out before she arrives and remove after she goes. Also, you may want to invest in some larger suit bags with locks to store items that may be of a fetish nature. Keep the unmentionables (bras, panties and hosiery) in separate drawers from your male undergarments and socks.

[stephanie71]

Lock on the closet drawer. Keep your clothes in a dresser and keep it closed. Even better yet, perhaps she does not even care. Since I have been into dressing, when I have bought makeup just at regular stores, I end up in a fun conversation with the girl at the check out counter. I think that if you just appear to be a fun person, the cleaning lady probably will not care, or even be interested in your story.