Bruce Jenner is not helping

[tifftg]

While I support everyone along the journey. Everytime I go grocery shopping with my wife there seems to be another tabloid with Bruce and his possible sex change on the cover. My wife knows about my dressing, hates it and like many worries that it will lead to more changes in the future. I am content as "only" a crossdresser, going on now for over 40 years. But we revisit the issue, she gets upset and wonders why she stays with me.

Bruce if you are crossing over, get it done and get out of the news.

[Katey888]

Hi Tiff,

And isn't THAT one of those Big Things that keep some of us hiding in the back of our closets... :hiding:

I don't think you can rely much on celebrities to necessarily help us with this - to them, all publicity is good publicity and the longer they can spin something out, the better their agents like it!

Can I suggest you dig up some examples of more positive <relatively> normal, celebrity CDing with which to counter and allay your wife's concerns and fears...? The only two I'm aware of offhand are Grayson Perry the artist and Eddie Izzard the artiste (and comedian). Both have Wiki entries and although both are Brits (sorry! :)) they are internationally known, if not renowned... It might help a bit! :)

It does seem odd that there aren't more - but I've mused on this celebrity thing before - I think it demonstrates the stigma that remains with this and therefore, while there certainly are celebrity and famous CDers out there, the only ones likely to come out are those that are probably on the road to transition... At least we have a couple of Brits flying the flag! Hoorah!

:ukflag:

Katey x

[Tinkerbell-GG]

Katey, I remember Dominic Monaghan's (Lord of the Rings) GF at the time saying she loved that he wore heels, among other things. I have high suspicions of some other stars as well, and suspect you're right - there are many! I've always thought Snoop Dog might be TG :)

As for Brucey, I suspect he's just enjoying being rich, free, and having people tell him he's fabulous all day long. He doesn't live in reality so can push boundaries ordinary folk don't dare. He may transition, or he may just enjoy his new colourful life free from those awful Kardashaians.

[Kate Simmons]

Problem is even if he gets it done, it will be fodder for the news and tabloids for a long time to come. They play it to death. :)

[CD Tammy]

A couple decades ago, I met Bruce and Chris Jenner at my brother's house. I remember it well because I am certain she was wearing a patterned body stocking under her dress. Very sexy, the body stocking, that is. Now I wonder if he was wearing one, too. My brother thinking that I was attracted to her, whispered, "Remember, you can't outrun him."

[Sara Jessica]

Bruce is definitely confusing the masses. From our "expert" point of view though, it is hard to say where he is coming from. Is Bruce really on a path towards transition or does he simply enjoy dressing up so much that he is taking advanced coursework from the University of Crossdressing? Only he can tell, whether he ever will is a different story.

My (again, "expert") interpretation was that he should just admit it and get on with things, whatever that may be. The problem is that he looks as ridiculous with his long hair in guy mode as I did when I had mine, before cutting about a foot off of the length. Had I not cut it already, I certainly would have by now. Regardless, if anyone in my life is halfway paying attention, they are likely thinking (saying?) the same exact things about me that are being said about Bruce (bringing it full circle to the title, Bruce is not helping).

And for what it's worth, I cut my hair back in two stages. After the final trim, a niece of mine lamented that I cut my hair, that I had that Bruce Jenner thing going on.

Yikes!!!

[CD Tammy]

If I were brave enough to come out, I'm not sure that I'd ever be in guy mode again.

[Gwinnie]

I saw it yesterday as well. My wife knows and is okay with it. Even encourages sometimes. But the way the tabloids are looking at it is as if he is sick or a perv or something. I kinda wonder about Jimmy Fallon too. He dresses femme way too much on his show for it to just be a once in a while joke.

Gwendolyn

[Amy Fakley]

Yeah I noticed a "boy mode/girl mode" pic of her on the cover of one of the more respectable tabloids in line at the grocery store yesterday. Honestly, my first thought was "well thank god they didn't make her look ridiculous"

Honestly, she didn't look bad. Whenever there's a celebrity caught crossdressing, the tabloids inevitably choose the most ridiculously horrible photos and run them into the ground.

Could this be a measure of respect being shown?
Just saying ... that in itself might be helping in a larger sense.

[Alice Torn]

Not too many months ago, maybe a year, John Travolta was the tabloid target for crossdressing. I have not heard much lately on John.

[NicoleScott]

Bruce should pursue whatever Bruce wants to pursue in his way and on his timetable. Tiff, if you support everyone along the journey, then support Bruce along his journey, whatever that is or isn't. He doesn't need to act to make your life easier.
As for getting credible news from tabloids.......forget it.

[Suzanne F]

We are the only ones that can counter the attitude about Bruce Jenner. The people that knew me as a sober father and husband now know me as a TS sober husband and father. Almost all of my friends and family thought they had never known a TS. We have to come out and counter the media driven stereotypes that people are fed about us. As people like Isha show up as good people who happen to be on the TG spectrum, our image changes. So if you don't like how we are portrayed do something about it and come out!
Suzanne

[Sarah Doepner]

I'd say that Bruce Jenner isn't the problem. It's the tabloid press exploiting a celebrity to sell more ink. The editors of those and other papers insist on sensationalizing and/or ridiculing those who are gender variant are the ones who are not helping. It would be improved is they would take a more honest and supportive stand, but that wouldn't sell their advertising, so I won't plan on seeing anything better than what they have already done.

[Adriana Moretti]

I saw those tabloids in the drug store...it shouted at me from across the store...in big letters "CROSS-DRESSER"....it made me crindge...but yea its the tabloids not bruce....they havent figured out he is going to become a women yet LOL...the title should read SEX CHANGE LOL....

[cassandra54]

It's kind of funny in a way. Last year or the year before there was a news article about him getting his Adam's apple shaved. I knew what was going on the minute I read that. Everyone is pretty slow on the uptake.

But really, why doesn't he get it all done at once and be done with it?? With the amount of money he has he could do it, become a woman and start a new life in anonymity.

Celebrities, what they do and the news stories they generate are pretty amusing.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

Maybe he's Metrosexual, and does anyone use that term anymore??

[Jenny Gurl]

Celebrities are targets and the media seems to enjoy demonizing certain groups, Crossdressers are one of those groups.

On the other hand, Tom Cruise made a cute girl. He use to love dressing as a child and went 2 Halloweens as a girl. At his age, you would never know he was not a girl.

I know the photo's are real, I met the guy who took them and he verified it.

http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3790/1130/1600/dor12.jpg

http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3790/1130/1600/dor2.jpg

[Lorileah]

and how do we know Mr Jenner wants to transition? Many people here post that they don't want to transition but would like better cheeks or lips or breasts. Maybe he, like the OP, is
"only" a crossdresser, going on now for over 40 years. but he gets out of the house. He has the money to have the surgery. He has overcome the guilt? It is his life.

He says he isn't, his ex-wife says he isn't. Good enough for me. Now I do worry about those UFO sightings in Arizona...

I only believe half of the stuff in legitimate press. I believe zero in tabloids (not even the masthead)

[Persephone]

I think we need to respect Jenner's decisions, timeline, and path, regardless of which direction it may be taking. Come on, we all know how difficult this is, how the angst and pain can differ from one person to another, and I'm sure that being in the public eye doesn't help.

All this talk about Jenner having the money to do it, etc. sounds a good bit more like jealousy than support or encouragement.

Let the tabloids exploit peoplee, not us.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[audreyinalbany]

Bruce, are you a member here?

[Leslie Langford]

This is actually a cover story for the current issue of US Weekly (Nov. 24, 2014 edition) which I purchased yesterday, and the story is entitled "Bruce's Secret Double Life"

It's a rather good article as tabloids go, sounds to be factual, and gives a very sympathetic, non-sensationalistic treatment of the subject. If anything, the writer sides with Bruce, and comes down pretty hard on Kris Jenner for being a driven control freak who went out of her way to try to thwart his TG tendencies and frustrated him considerably in the process. Now that they have separated and he is on his own, it appears that Bruce is making up for lost time and is gradually letting his feminine side flourish (more plastic surgery, tracheal shave, long hair, painted fingernails etc.) as he is moving from androgynous to "true" femme. At the same time, the article claims that while Bruce has begun HRT, SRS doesn't appear to be on the horizon for him (he is 65 years old now).

Interestingly enough, while the rest of the Kardashians seem to be struggling with this transition process, Khloe' has become his most ardent supporter and champion...

[kimdl93]

I guess I live in a bubble....or outside of the one inhabited by the kardashians and other people who are famous for being famous.

[AllieSF]

I'd say that Bruce Jenner isn't the problem. It's the tabloid press exploiting a celebrity to sell more ink. The editors of those and other papers insist on sensationalizing and/or ridiculing those who are gender variant are the ones who are not helping. It would be improved is they would take a more honest and supportive stand, but that wouldn't sell their advertising, so I won't plan on seeing anything better than what they have already done.

I agree that Bruce isn't the problem. The tabloids just report, exaggerate and stretch the truth to its legal limits to make money just like every other legitimate and illegitimate business out there. The problem is in our own heads when we let this type of sensationalism news reporting, tabloid style or not, bother us. That is his life and we have no cause nor justification for blaming him for our own lack of courage to be ourselves. He does not affect in any serious way who or what we are. Since I do not read tabloids, nor People Magazine, nor US Weekly, I don't even know what he is or is not doing, and I really don't care. He was a star for us many years ago and now he is just being him or her self. Why does anyone really need to get excited about it, unless they enjoy that type of trivial unimportant news? I say take a positive view of it and say, "Look even some of our famous citizens are TG." That to me gives a better presentation of the news to the general public that so many here seem so afraid of.

[belindaH]

and how do we know Mr Jenner wants to transition? Many people here post that they don't want to transition but would like better cheeks or lips or breasts. Maybe he, like the OP, is

"only" a crossdresser, going on now for over 40 years.

ditto.

We if anyone should be able to understand Bruce Jenner's hesitation to just get it on with.

[cassandra54]

If he does transition, maybe he can be on the senior female Olympic team of some kind. Just saying.

[sometimes_miss]

Bruce if you are crossing over, get it done and get out of the news.
I'm sure part of the whole issue is the press that he gets; as they say, there's no such thing as bad publicity. Maybe he thinks he'll get a book or movie deal out of it too. After all, his only claim to fame was winning the decathelon back in what, 1976? This generation only knows him as the step dad of the Kardashian nut jobs, not much of a thing to be known for.

That said, we all understand the huge difficulties that he'll have to go through. I don't know him, but wish him well whatever his choices.

[Eryn]

Well, if you type "Bruce" into Google the suggestions put Jenner above Springsteen, Willis, and Lee. As they say, "I don't care what they say as long as they get the name right!"

I wish him the best and expect that he will proceed, or not proceed, as his judgment dictates.

As far as spouses linking tabloid headlines to our TG status, how does one respond to a person who actually believes the tabloids? If they won't consider the reliability of the source there isn't much to say.

[Tina_gm]

Oh yes he is helping. A heterosexual male (assuming) that had the greatest life a man could ever be, yet still has a femininity that needs to express itself.... Isn't that what being transgender really is? If we could control it, then why would anyone in his situation wish to be "different"? Because of who he married and the situation he got himself into with the Kardashian clan, whatever steps he takes, and has taken are media exploitations for sure. The media loves more than anything than to bring people down. Jenner has to decide whether to be remembered as an decathalon gold medalist or transgender. The media will not allow both, but that isn't his problem, it is the problem of our media. He could insist on being both, and if he does, he would help us immeasurably, and I think he might just be doing that, or at least trying to.

[Angie G]

Thank god my wife has no fear of my dressing going past dressing.:hugs:
Angie

[Tiffany Jane]

I saw those tabloids in the drug store...it shouted at me from across the store...in big letters "CROSS-DRESSER"....it made me crindge...but yea its the tabloids not bruce....they havent figured out he is going to become a women yet LOL...the title should read SEX CHANGE LOL....

Cringe wouldn't be the correct word as I work in a store where the first night I walked by it I felt as if all my secrets were being exposed in front of my co-workers. Made me harbor up the wall a little. Then, the same feelings I had for myself, I tried to put into Bruce's perspective. There are no cameras around me, I have done little in comparison with my life to obtain the attention he has, and all in all, we probably have shared many of the same, questioning thoughts about ourselves. Who knew I had something in common with someone I had little to think about as much as the media and society has put him in a spotlight. I admonish the course of the media scrutiny, for putting into question the moral and societal stigma about his personal feelings about himself. It is this same stigma that made me hide what I have done for so long and only for a short while be able to embrace this other part of me as something that is me and is not going away, being outgrown, or a cry for help.

[Dana does shopping]

Would he/she be the first multi-medal winning Olympian to transition?

[MonctonGirl]

Here is Bruce Jenner with red nails.
I am most surprised that a former Olympic Gold Medalist is smoking a cigarette.

http://www.today.com/popculture/bruce-jenner-nails-his-latest-look-red-birthday-manicure-1D80252015?utm_source=zergnet.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=zergnet_306774

We are fortunate that we do not have media following us everywhere.
I'm actually surprised that he does not cite "privacy" as his reason for
going full-femme to sneak out of the house.

[ReineD]

It's all in the tone. They sensationalize physical transformation, when we want it to stop being sensational and just be considered an appropriate choice for some people. They even sensationalize plastic surgery when it is not done to appear as a different sex!

To Tiff, just keep repeating the same thing to your wife. Bruce is Bruce, you are you, and never the twain shall meet.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I think we should all give Bruce a break.

There are any number of people here who are afraid to shop, afraid to dress out of town or afraid to go go out dressed.

And in most of those cases, the worst that can happen is a big nothing.

In Bruce's case, he's probably being followed around 24/7 because the photographer will get a hefty sum for a picture of Bruce en femme.

And the worst that can happen? Bruce's picture en femme will appear on the shelf at every supermarket in the country. If that was a likely consequence for you, would you go out en femme?

[Nicole Erin]

Since that thing in Fergusen, MO stole the spotlight so people probably won't care if Bruce Willis or whoever gets a sex change.

[Adriana Moretti]

bruce Jenner....LOL....or did you mean Bruce Willis...cause thats actually funnier...i want Bruce Willis to get a sex change too!!!!!!!!

[JessicaJHall]

Besides, this is nothing compared to having starred in the Village People movie.

[Danitgirl1]

Here is Bruce Jenner with red nails.
I am most surprised that a former Olympic Gold Medalist is smoking a cigarette.

http://www.today.com/popculture/bruce-jenner-nails-his-latest-look-red-birthday-manicure-1D80252015?utm_source=zergnet.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=zergnet_306774

We are fortunate that we do not have media following us everywhere.
I'm actually surprised that he does not cite "privacy" as his reason for
going full-femme to sneak out of the house.

I also thought the cigarette smoking should have got more play time...
Having said that I think most people would be VERY surprised how many elite athletes smoke. The damage done by smoking is more long term in nature, so an athlete can smoke and still perform very well (athletes are typically young and the damage accumulates so they suffer very few ill effects when young). This is especially true of the non-endurance events, where the absorption of oxygen by the lungs is hardly significant (in a 100 m sprint the athlete uses the oxygen and glucaagon ALREADY in the muscle cells, there simply isn't time for the body to replace it). Also for some it distracts them in between competing (athletic competition involves LOTS of waiting and then some very brief/frenzied activity). The nervousness of waiting may have more negative effect than the smoking so anything to distract you helps (smoking doesnt actually calm anyone down but it does give peopel something to do).
I am not advocating smoking... It is horrible and bad for you but I do find its prevalence amongst elite athletes interesting and somewhat counter intuitive... Sorry for hijacking the thread :-)

[Nicole Erin]

bruce Jenner....LOL....or did you mean Bruce Willis...cause thats actually funnier...i want Bruce Willis to get a sex change too!!!!!!!!
Bruce Willis would be a nasty horrid looking woman. I mean a 21 year old hormonal man with beer goggles would not lay down with that. I mean even Rosie O'Donnel with full body hair would not be as ugly. You know she is nastier than a lung cookie from a mononucleosis sufferer.

Bruce something. I was gonna say Bruce Springsteen but I don't know how to spell that name.

Besides, isn't it Micheal Phelps who is getting a sex change cause he is some gold medal winner or was he the one who got pregnant by a crossdresser?

Or was it that Bruce Willis was artificially inseminated by a TS who used a syringe made of plastic that was from Micheal Jackson's remains?

That's it, I am revoking my transgender status so I dont get pregnant

[Marcelle]

To be honest I am a bit confused about this thread? Why should we care what timeline Bruce Jenner is on toward transition. If she is just a CDer and not wanting to transition and be out in the limelight that is her choice not ours. Can you imagine how you would feel if the media was able to hound John/Jane Q Public for a story and they found out you were TG and followed you around to events, plastered your picture on tabloids with headlines like "CROSSDRESSER". Would we be saying the same thing . . . "Just get on with it and stop making us look bad" :confused:

I think if any group of people know how difficult this decision is and even how much more difficult it is to go mainstream with the news (magnified 100 fold by being a celebrity) . . . well just saying.

Hugs

Isha

[Sara Jessica]

Isha, your points are well taken. This whole thing illustrates the difficulty of transition in the public eye (regardless of whether or not our friend Bruce is "one of us").

If trans-something is represented in x% of the general population, then it stands to reason that similar percentages would hold across people we see as being famous (whether entertainers or athletes). So take our fears, difficulties and other issues and multiply those by a thousand and you can imagine what someone like Bruce is going through (again, assuming he is one of us). Transition in the public eye is certainly not for the faint of heart. I had a friend who tried to do so and the result was her death by her own hand. I perceive her issues as being more than simply the publicity but that surely didn't help.

The elephant in Bruce's room is speaking up rather loudly at this point. I think the gist of this thread is that of support for whatever he decides do to, in the context of being in the public eye.

[Nicole Erin]

It is probably just a case of some fading celebrity trying to revamp their popularity.
Kind of like that one guy from n-sync or backstreet boys coming out as gay. Front of tabloids had his photo and the words "I'm gay". No one cares, and he is still a has-been from the 90's.

The media is running out of ideas.

[DonnaT]

Here is Bruce Jenner with red nails.
I am most surprised that a former Olympic Gold Medalist is smoking a cigarette.

http://www.today.com/popculture/bruce-jenner-nails-his-latest-look-red-birthday-manicure-1D80252015?utm_source=zergnet.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=zergnet_306774

We are fortunate that we do not have media following us everywhere.
I'm actually surprised that he does not cite "privacy" as his reason for
going full-femme to sneak out of the house.

Seems he is more concerned with how his daughter is reacting, so he tries little things to cope. Like many of us have. He told his mother he wasn't transitioning, and she said she would love him either way.

http://www.franchiseherald.com/articles/17009/20141208/bruce-jenner-news-transgender-allegations-resurface-more-feminine-changes-revealed.htm


According to a report by Daily Mail (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2830520/Bruce-Jenner-s-mother-not-fan-son-s-new-effeminate-look-lets-rip-controlling-monster-ex-Kris-no-holds-barred-interview.html?ito=social-twitter_dailymailceleb), Esther Jenner directly asked her son about the allegations. She narrated: "I've brought this up to him on the phone when we've talked and he says, "Mom, you can't believe this stuff."
Bruce Jenner's mom then replied: "Well, I want to tell you one thing, Bruce... (if) it's true or false, it's not going to change my love for you."

[junetv]

the OP meant it wasn't helping his relationship with his own wife. For some of our spouses who are in the DADT realm of things, seeing stuff like this is like a psychological land mine that explodes for no reason whatsoever, other than reminding them of the hurt they feel because of crossdressing, and they explode with all the emotional baggage of when they first found out. I understand the OP's intentions. Sorry, but those are the cards we're dealt. Just have to learn to survive in the midst of the emotional land mines.

It's probably a little harder for the OP, since Bruce seems to be going for the whole nine yards (see what I did there).

[tifftg]

June,

Got it exactly right. My comments were around the fact that even when we set up a don't ask don't tell relationship the public actions of others create a tense environment of fears, questions and doubting that the spouse is making the right choice.

[Morgan Matthews]

I agree. He is helping. Whether he's a CD or transitioning, he is proving that anyone can be a part of the TG community. A former olympic hero.

[drushin703]

I'm conflicted. Would I be more comfortable if Bruce would just go away and closet the whole thing?..Then the rumors would get even louder and the Globe and the National Enquirer would keep running stories of the "non" event.
My only wish is that he would just say something. I mean, come on Bruce, if you want to look like a crazy old Hispanic woman, then what's wrong with that. I say, just Michael Sam it, knowing full well that people
will posture, intimate how they could care less what your gender preference is, then cut your ass from the team anyway. There is some honesty and gallantry in full disclosure. At least I think so.... Or just come clean
(like I've personally ever come clean about my own crossdressing) and say, 'These are my earlobes, my hair, my breasts, my skin and if you don't like it you can kiss Kim's fat ass...

dana

[Andrea Chenowith]

Having said that I think most people would be VERY surprised how many elite athletes smoke. The damage done by smoking is more long term in nature, so an athlete can smoke and still perform very well (athletes are typically young and the damage accumulates so they suffer very few ill effects when young).

Sorry to continue the hijacking, but this example has always stuck with me. In the mid 80s, my parents were limited partners of the Wichita Wings (professional indoor soccer) which - among other things - gave us suite access, where we often hung out with players before and after the games. One night, one of the players who had a minor knock and wasn't planning to play was hanging out in the lounge, drinking beer and smoking with his wife and a small group of friends. The assistant coach came into the lounge, tapped him on the shoulder and bent down to talk to him. He slammed his beer, took a couple of last quick drags on his cigarette, then jogged out of the lounge.

Apparently another player had gotten injured during warmups and they needed him to play that night. He'd downed at least a pitcher and smoked three cigarettes while we were there.. He scored a pair of goals and they won that night, so I guess it was okay....

[MsVal]

The more often something is seen, the more often it becomes normalized. In that context, anything that gets people thinking of TG/TS issues serves to normalize them.


Best wishes
MsVal

[docrobbysherry]

I'd say that Bruce Jenner isn't the problem. It's the tabloid press exploiting a celebrity to sell more ink. The editors of those and other papers insist on sensationalizing and/or ridiculing those who are gender variant are the ones who are not helping. It would be improved is they would take a more honest and supportive stand, but that wouldn't sell their advertising, so I won't plan on seeing anything better than what they have already done.

I wouldn't blame the tabloids. They r only filling a need. If folks didn't eagerly buy their drivel they'd stop printing it and go out of business. Much like newspapers are.

I wouldn't know anything about the rich and famous if my daughter and folks here didn't keep me up to date. I'm too busy living my and Sherry's lives to give a darn about these truly unimportant tabloid fodderer's. Get a life people!

[Paula_Femme]

...Can I suggest you dig up some examples of more positive <relatively> normal, celebrity CDing with which to counter and allay your wife's concerns and fears...? The only two I'm aware of offhand are Grayson Perry the artist and Eddie Izzard the artiste (and comedian). Both have Wiki entries and although both are Brits (sorry! :)) they are internationally known, if not renowned... It might help a bit! :)

It does seem odd that there aren't more - but I've mused on this celebrity thing before - I think it demonstrates the stigma that remains with this and therefore, while there certainly are celebrity and famous CDers out there, the only ones likely to come out are those that are probably on the road to transition... At least we have a couple of Brits flying the flag! Hoorah!

:ukflag:

Katey x

Hi Katey

And let's not forget the inimitable Richard O'Brian, (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_O'Brien) he of Rocky Horror fame!

Jeez, what is it about us Brits, must be something in the water! :heehee:

All the best
Paula