Reverse hormone/gender therapy - A survey

[Michelle789]

MTF TS Responses only

When I came out to my family, my father and my brother both recommended that I do a reverse gender therapy consisting of two steps.

1. Take male hormones

2. Do reverse psycho therapy to "man up" - such as learning dating, learning how to act macho

This is an obviously dumb idea to me, and for anyone who identifies as trans - as the opposite of their birth gender - this obviously won't work. I have no plans of trying this. In fact, I am planning on purging my male clothes soon. I will let you know when I do that.

I simply want to know if anyone here has tried either of the two steps above before starting transition? Are these ideas my father put out there just completely idiotic ideas that no one has ever tried, idiotic ideas that some of us have tried, or maybe a legit path to try before you consider transition?

I will start by saying no to #1. If you count the psychics attempts to get me to "man up" than yes to #2, but the psychic is an illegitimate entity anyways. Arguably many of us did try to "man up" without the help of therapy - we just did it naturally, or maybe with the help of drugs and alcohol.

[becky77]

1, I didn't need to take male hormones as my male levels where as they should be and I felt wrong. So that's pure rubbish.
I'm assuming your levels were normal for a male before you stared.

2, We all tried to man-up at some point and all it does is heighten the Dysphoria. You can bury it for a while, I managed ten years but it's not healthy, you just become a shell, buried under a wall of delusion.

3, Are you still talking about that bloody Psychic!

Your Father and Brother are ignorant as are most people to this. The only thing that can be done is they read up on it, if you could have changed you would have.

Try not let there opinions give you doubt Michelle. Their opinions are archaic.

[Angela Campbell]

LOL I tried for 50 years to "man up". It almost killed me and wasted my life.

[BOBBI G.]

Like Angela, I tried playing the role for over 50 years. Always knew I was different, and not like the others, just didn't know why. Then I found an article, and it sort of described transgender, and I thought it was written about my life. Now, after almost 70 years on this earth, I and in the early stages of transition. Happy for the first time in my life.

Bobbi

[noeleena]

Hi,

i dont know any thing about this ....man up type of speak its a non event from birth till now and if you are like i am hard wired female then how can you be something your not born as, i have enough issues trying to work out what makes a man the way he is, so for myself thats a very dumb ?

And do a reverse gender , well that to is a non event again i cant do ether any way , some people just dont get it or to me..... its really about..... Dont Wont Too......

So to change your mind to be other than it is , well play acting ...yes...or a double minded person and really you never know where they are , or a fantisay. wont say no more on that.....

This taking of hormones regardless of what they are does not change the core you ,thats set at conception unless your a mismatch like my self then . a possible / maybe .

From what you,v said its really non accepting of difference and just pure wont accept nothing else comes into it really,

Man up be a man act like a man
and as for this macho male image what the hell is that , some one who thinks he,s better than every one else, sorry it dont work for this female. no way.

...noeleena...

[kimdl93]

Their advice is simply an expression of their ignorance on the subject. High T levels might stimulate hair growth, increased muscle mass or more aggressive behavior in some people, but they will not change your mind.

[Michelle.M]

2. Do reverse psycho therapy to "man up" - such as learning dating, learning how to act macho


10 years in Army Special Ops didn't do it for me. A career in the SEALs didn't do it for Kristin Beck. Your Dad and Bro are uninformed on this topic. But they may be more scared at the prospect of losing you and less transphobic than they may appear to be. You might want to ask what's really bugging them.

If they are proposing recovery or conversion therapy they ought to know that this has been denounced for years by all legitimate medical and psychological organizations as quackery.

[GabbiSophia]

I have fought as about as hard as one can against all this. I can tell you that the more I do either number 1 or 2 the harder it is to function. Science just isn't far enough along for people to understand the things the suggested actually hurt. Well at least in my case they do.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Last I heard, our male bodies are already filled with testosterone.... the reverse hormone therapy is started by mother nature at puberty...its a total fail...its one of the stupidest ideas out there

and to "man up" is the most common self treatment there is... We are surrounded by Navy Seals, Army Rangers, police and firemen and every other type of macho stereotype out there.. its a total fail...

Michelle is right...they are uninformed... however, I doubt informing them will do much good...

Transition and thrive, that's my motto. It's the only good way to change people's minds

[Eringirl]

Hi Michelle:

Rubbish on both counts. More testosterone isn't going to solve anything, that is just idiotic. As for manning up....that just delays the inevitable...at least it did for me. A perfect waste of 15 years of my life....

Erin

[I Am Paula]

I certainly didn't try male hormones. I did, however, give manning up one last try before I transitioned. In a misguided moment, I set aside my female persona (the authentic one), and went to the mall, bought some guy clothes, and WORSE, had my hair cut. I was convinced that with enough willpower I could do the guy thing.
When I got home I put on the baggy shapeless jeans, and a guy shirt, and looked in the mirror. All there was there was a girl in guys clothing, with a REALLY bad haircut. I cried for about an hour.
This only had one effect on me. It made me realize I could not do guy, even temporarily, and helped me make the decision to transition.

[CONSUELO]

What idiotic ideas. Clearly the result of too much testosterone interfering with logical and informed thinking. Taking testosterone could well give you many unhealthy reactions.

As for "maning up" What the heck does that mean. I hear it a lot and it seems to mean a range of things from being simply responsible to perhaps being some overbearing male. Is that what those NFL players did when they beat their wives and girlfriends?

They probably watch too much of that balding Dr Whathisface on the TV. Can't stand the bloke.

[BeckyW]

I have low testosterone naturally, so my doctor put me on Androgel.

I was on it for a little less than two years. In that time my gender dysphoria went from "I wonder what life would have been like if I was born female" to full-blown "I can't stand this- why am I in this body- arrrrgggghhhh!".

Not recommended.

[LeaP]

OMG – no! I have known perfectly well all of my life that testosterone was like a poison in my system. I wasn't surprised when it was finally tested to discover it was quite high.

The answer to whether or not testosterone therapy is warranted is helpful here.The interesting thing is that there is a commonality with gender issues in how hormones-related distress is experienced - but in reverse. A man whose testosterone is too low will experience the deficiency as distressing. He will NOT experience it as suddenly feeling like a woman! Cisgender me don't suddenly experience gender reversal. An MtF transsexual, on the other hand, experiences too much testosterone as distressing.

[whowhatwhen]

Tell them to take some T shots first, when they start growing tits and feeling like shit all the time then you'll have the last laugh.

[Nigella]

Wasn't that the therapy for all that ails you in the dark ages?

If it was a "cure" for the TS community, surely the medical community would be advocating the prescription,
Take this T shot on a regular basis and join up, it'll make a man of you

If your family is prepared to listen, then educate them, if not, move on with your life, they will either follow, or stay behind, either way they make the choice.

[whowhatwhen]

Pretty sure in the dark ages you'd end up being ritualistically murdered, but that probably counts to a lot of people these days as therapy.

[Angela Campbell]

MTF TS Responses only

When I came out to my family, my father and my brother both recommended that I do a reverse gender therapy consisting of two steps.

.


You should sue for medical malpractice. This kind of treatment has been declared as unethical by the AMA and the APA.

Not doctors? Ok then they are attempting to practice without a license.

[KellyJameson]

It is interesting to read how many of those who transitioned talk about a period where they "manned up"

Some do the military thing or associate with other social symbols of "manliness and manhood"

It is a way to "fix" "kill" or "hide" the true and actual self. This creates tension and at some point the person snaps and like a pendulum will swing violently back as they are forced into equilibrium. You cannot stay out of balance indefinitely

You see people all the time trying to suppress who and what they actually are. Some suppress their sexuality and attempt to play it straight.

There are a myriad of ways to reject your natural self and it does not even have to be about gender or sexuality.

Have you ever been around someone who is cruel to others and thinks it is cool and expects you to do the same thing but your conscious bothers you. You experience a moral conflict between peer/group pressure and your moral conscious.

This sense of knowing yourself as to your moral behavior is part of your identity. Some believe that aspects of moral development are innate and come out of temperament so that people are predisposed to being good or bad and moral character is built out of and on top of this.

I strongly believe that aspects of gender identity are innate and you cannot escape it. We identify with those who we want to associate with and be like but also with those who remind us of ourselves already.

It is a type of relentless seeking to find and be with our own kind. Everyone does this and it takes on countless forms of expression.

I do not identify with sports so rarely spend time with people who do, so I do not identify with them, yet I'm very athletic and love many physical activities.

Part of identifying as a woman is because of women. You have found yourself in them and they in you.

It is not from being a failure as a man so identifying with women because of this failure so choosing the second option because the first is not available, but from coming out of failure because you are attempting to be what you are not.

Transsexuals fail as men because they are women. They do not become women because they cannot be men (but would be if they could be). In my opinion it is important to understand this distinction to better understand your gender identity as to "why it exists" and "where it came from"

Gender identity is becoming and or being clear about where you "BELONG"

As to hormones I cannot tolerate the levels of testosterone that would be labelled as healthy for a male. I came close to a nervous breakdown at the start of puberty because of its effects. That was a very frantic time for me.

Gender identity is not a choice but you can choose to reject it or discover it. For a transsexual there are consequences regardless.

I tried therapy to "make myself a man" It only made me sicker because I was forcing myself to move even further away from myself.

You can only reject yourself for so long before bad things happen because it is an unnatural way to live.

[DeeDee1974]

I put undue pressure on myself to excel in school to cover up not being interested in sports and girls and other "manly things".

Not really my family, but others seemed disappointed in who I was. My dad played college football and my sister was all state in three sports and got a basketball scholarship. So clearly little bother must also be . . . Oh wait he's only 5'5? But dad's 6'4 and Sis must almost be 6'0. Too bad.

Good thing my mom loved art and music. And luckily my dad never expected me to be someone else.

[allisonagain]

After a lifetime of "manning up" and now accepting who I am, giving myself permission, as it were, I can see the damage done. Not only to me, I will try for the remainder of my life to work on my broken-ness. But the enormous affect stuffing my true identity has had on my family, friends, and employees over the years. I believe my life was characterized by one huge effort to run away and stuff my constant anger at being denied from birth a female identity. Anger leads to abuse. Abuse of alcohol, drugs, friendship, love, trust,…. This is me but I think if you have a strong enough identity to come out, you and others would be miserable for the rest of your life if you try to deny it.

[Leah Lynn]

Although I've been on hrt for 14 months now, I often have doubts about this. Like Paula, I recently got a bad haircut. I've done a lot of thinking about all aspects of my life. I'm 63 years old. Trying to find a different job is tough enough for a 63 y/o male with a few health conditions, much less a 63 y/o tranny. I've thought about totally purging, but here I sit in full femme attire. I want a "normal" life, but I can't not be female. I tell myself that I'm too old to do this, I can't afford to do this, anything to rationalize it. (BTW, "rationalizing" everything is an alcoholic's trick.) Maybe I could find someone to be in my life if I played macho dude again.

I know full well that I probably will not make it to srs. I've figured out that I'm going to be alone the rest of my life. I'm not very close to my family anyway, so they're not required to support my choice. I work with a bunch of guys that know that I'm different, and they're okay with that. I don't have it quite as bad as some, worse off than others. Story of my life. But, whatever else, the girl will survive. Tomorrow I may feel differently, but it's a woman's perogative to change her mind, isn't it?

Leah

[Aprilrain]

If I ever feel like being rabidly Horny all the time then I'll start taking T!

I dated women, even married and had kids with one. I wasn't into your typical sports but I was strong and athletic, I loved climbing, paragliding, hiking, flying planes, framing houses, etc. My life was pretty masculine, no one questioned my "manhood" or my sexuality (if they had only known what I was fantasizing about when no one was around!) I was not a "failure" at being a man, I did it pretty well. I still enjoy some activities that are considered masculine and there are things that are "typically feminine" that I have little interest in. None of that is the point. The point is my body was all wrong and I needed to fix it. I've done that and now life makes a lot more sense.

[Megan Thomas]

I know of a trans MTF who was encouraged to take testosterone and try to reject her innermost feelings to transition. It caused her no end of mental pain and anguish, contributed greatly to alcohol problems and did nothing in the end to prevent her eventually transitioning other than delaying it for a number of years.

[emmicd]

you should do what's in your heart. family and friends may not understand but you and I and the girls here do. good luck and best wishes in your transition. love, emily

[MonicaJean]

1. No way. The wife insisted many many many times I should. I told her many times it’s not for me. Bottom line: the dysphoric hell I came out of was due to T being in my system. I can’t imagine how much bloody worse it would be to take more Testosterone. OMG. NOOOOOOO!!!!

2. I’ve done the man thing, was only so-so at it. Numerous times in this marriage she said “I wish you were as good as my dad at…” (insert ‘man-up’ thing here, such as: wood work and repair, home repair, electrical, car repair). Every time she said that, I would feel smaller an knew deep inside it wasn’t for me. I’m done attempting to live up to someone else’s useless standards!

After reading your coming out topic, I can’t see anything good your dad is saying other than “LET ME CONTROL YOU BY USING FALSE GUILT AND SHAME!” Toxic beyond approach!

[Rachel Mari]

1. Back when I was trying to save my marriage, my T was measured low and my doctor had me try three different methods of taking Testosterone (gel, patch and injection) over the span of 1.5 years. I didn't feel anything other than an increase (big increase) in anxiety and eventually my wife told me to stop and to stop trying to have sex (we were at that point having sex maybe once every 3-6 months). The end result was great relief but hair on my stomach that was never there before when I stopped. I hated it and I would never, ever, do it again.

2. When I tried to man up, I wasn't more macho and action seeking or whatever, I didn't really change that much just burying my feelings deeper and suppressing more. Actually there's more to it. About 30 years ago, I went to a therapist and talked to him about among other things the fact that I didn't feel like a man (that was the first time since I was five that I mentioned anything even close to how I felt). He asked me a few questions about my father and mother and then told me what was wrong with me; I was suffering from the Batman/Robin syndrome where I was Robin and I just needed to work harder at finding my internal man to overcome the loss of my father at an early age. What a crock of BS.
Within a year I was actually exploring my feelings even deeper. I was recently divorced and I had a girlfriend that was very accepting, at first. That lasted about a year and then it became too much and I purged and denied myself even deeper. We've been married 25 years last August but we're roommates (separate rooms) and co-parents and that's it, but we both still love and deeply care for each other.