I vowed to myself to not post again but this is too good to not share.

[BillieAnneJean]

I vowed to myself to never post again except the clear nail polish, what panties are we wearing right now, the thrill of underdressing, and pictures. You know the important stuff. I was fed up with those who could read a thread and magically know my personality faults and gleefully state them. But this is too good to not share.

I was OUT enfemme last night. At a sub shop for a fast dinner. There was one other person who shared the same ethnicity as I and that person was one of three behind the counter. The others did not share that trait. I always try to be sensitive to anyone that is a minority because they may be feeling a little insecure. And kindness is what I did not get in my childhood when I was one of the minority. One of the customers was having a great time loudly laughing at my expense. It is the first time that this has happened to me, but with the way I look I am surprised it doesn't happen more. What the heck, I am spreading a little humor and cheer, or so I thought. I had my meal in an otherwise uneventful manner. The person with the over active funny bone left and through the cold rain, in the slushy snow, walked the distance back to the what was likely to be the meager abode from whence she came. That area only has meager abodes, BTW. Sadly she might never venture far from the area her whole life. Maybe never learning that her view of the world is limited to her immediate area. Sad.

But I am having a good time! No one is going to rain on my parade. Well maybe the geniuses who can read one post and tell you your faults regardless of any evidence to the contrary.

Where was I......

So I walked out of the shop. And I heard someone call my name. I looked back and it was one of the employees, one who did not share that trait with me. She handed me a post it note. It said:
"Billy,
Thank You for
braving a world that can be
so hateful to anything
non-traditional. I have
friends afraid to be themselves.
Thank you for the hope."

I walked back inside the restaurant with her while telling her what a beautiful person she is for doing that and caring for her friends. I gave her a brochure for our Group, "The Grand Illusions" and suggested she give it to her friends. I hugged her and told her that maybe this was the whole reason I was alive to that moment and that she made my day. And again that she was a beautiful person. I am going to go back and give her an envelope full of brochures and places her friends can find support and camaraderie.

Now the reason I even mentioned the traits was so you could see the magnanimity of what she did, offering kindness to someone in the minority, me.

No matter what we all may think, we really are responsible for each other's happiness. Not a big part of it, but the small parts add up. Things like lifting off the gas pedal instead of running up on someone's back bumper. Even being kind, helpful, and treating each other with civility on this forum. I have been trying to help CDers on this forum, with our Group, and any way I can. This time the planets aligned and I was in the right place. I am never going to give up helping. Maybe not exposing myself to unkind and judgmental posts. After this one anyway.

BTW some wit is going to post something like "if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen" as a way to justify the all powerful who in reading one post seem to have a clear inside to someone's personality defects and therefore are entitled to state so in any rude manner they choose. Perhaps they don't understand the meaning of civility. A sorely missed commodity today. That laugher was missing civility to.

I am doing my part for a better world. Are you?

[ronny0]

IMO a beautiful story, and yes the "WORLD" would be a much better place if we only "TRIED" to get along.......
On the flip side, watch the world news, and that isn't going to happen any time soon.... So sad.

[lynda]

hi girl, looking at your picture , i cant see why anyone would laugh at you, you look great. i have always said is what the world needs is common respect of each other.you seem to be trying to spread this kind of thinking . i give you my hats off award for trying and hope you never stop.because the biggest changes happen one person at a time,and now theres two of us.love hugs lynda

[Katey888]

Billie Anne - that's a lovely experience and so worth sharing... :cheer:

I have so much admiration for the way you have embraced this part of you and are prepared to positively interact with anyone - I think it's inspirational. It's also nice to know that sometimes, for every petty bigot that's out there, there is also someone who is prepared to acknowledge your courage and be given hope by how they see you behaving. I think that's a great example for anyone in any walk of life, but especially for those of us who are expressing our feminine side in public.

I don't believe you'll hear anything but plaudits for the way you've behaved and what you've shared - and please don't stop sharing! Your experiences - and others here who similarly face the muggle plebs more often than many of us - are valuable ones for us all to share in. Nobody has any cause to be rude over your generosity and courage. :clap:

Katey x

[MichelleDevon]

Billie Anne Jean, what a good story. As for not posting again - never say never. I am a relative newcomer her and no-one has flamed me yet, frankly I don't care a right lot if they do or don't. The world, sadly, is full of bigots and selfish people who will always make life uncomfortable for someone. We are, as you said, all responsible for each other's happiness in a host of small ways, whether it is when we are behind the wheel of our automobiles, at work, at play, at home...it is those little things that can make all the difference.

I think it was Mahatma Gandhi who is credited with the quote "you make peace by talking to your enemies not to your friends" and so it should be here too. If there are people who slag us off for being this or that or the other then they need to be educated - bigotry and prejudice are born of ignorance; ignorance can only be eradicated by education. Yes, there will always be those who refuse to be educated but it is better to keep our heads above the parapet than to leave them in sole possession to infect others who come looking.

Like you, I try to show respect for others, whether minority or not, and certainly I try especially hard where our CD/TS/TG sorority is concerned. We are not yet "mainstream" in the way that lesbians and gays are but it is getting better and we can all help but only by being out there and standing for our own right to be ourselves.

I love the story, I love that lady for what she did - it is too easy to do nothing. Next time you are in there please give her a hug from a tgirl in the UK.

Hugs and kisses
Michelle
xxx

[Marcelle]

Hi Billie,

What a great story and a testament to your representation of the TG community and a testament to the young woman's decency. Thanks for sharing.

I am sorry to hear you have chose not to post on your experiences. When I first started exploring Isha and wondering about how I would deal in the Vanilla world, your moxy in accepting who you are and just being was one the examples I latched on to. I hope you reconsider.

Hugs

Isha

[Kate's at home]

What a wonderful and hopeful experience you shared. Thank you!

And by all means, keep writing!

Kate

[CONSUELO]

A good story. You handled the situation very well. From the picture you posted I don't see anything humourous about you, you look great. I think your person with the funny bone is to be pitied. Her "laughter" was a mask to hide something.

[Jamie Christopher]

Billie I'm with Isha: I hope you reconsider, because your posts and your cheerful style are worth sharing!

Jamie

[Beverley Sims]

Billie,
I see nothing wrong with your appearance that's laughable, I would walk past and smile at you as all I see is an attractive young lady.
Keep posting so as we can share our secrets and laugh together, "not at each other".

[~Joanne~]

Billie, thanks for sharing such a wonderful story :) It's great to know that there is Hope when in your everyday life of work and such you see so little. I don't know who scorned you over your postings but it surely isn't right. Hopefully you reported them to the Mods and we can get vile, self centered, know it alls out of our community. People with nothing but hate in their heart have no place here nor should they have a place in society. We deal with enough of it daily.

[Linda Leigh]

Billie, There is nothing laughable about you, all I see is a very caring person!!! I only wish I had your gumption :)

Here is a saying that applies to the naysayers. " Common sense is a flower that doesn't grow in everybody's garden"

Hugs
Linda Leigh

[bridget thronton]

Thanks for the post- you handled everything with grace and love. Look forward to more posts.

[Isabella Ross]

Billie, is there an echo in here? A) great story...one of those encounters that is faith-restoring B) you look great in the photo and C) please stick around.

[Alice Torn]

Billie, Thanks for the sharing from the heart, and head. Well said. I admire you. You have more courage than i do, to go out regularly. I have almost left this forum forever, too.

[Julie Denier]

^What they said ... a wonderful story and please continue to grace us with your presence ;)

[justmetoo]

Very nice story. You are beautiful inside as well as outside, and the employee at the sub shop is awesome.

[Kristyn Hill]

Billie Anne,
let's us go one step further on how you have made ones day with your post. I jumped on here just to post "where are you girls going out in GR?" I have asked before and you may have been the girl to respond but I went months without being on here and cleared all of my old messages with one delete. You have answered so many questions with this post. You are awesome and I want to be a part of the "Grand Illusions" I am only a few miles south and would love to get involved.

If you read this, please PM me some info so I can come up and go out very soon with you girls that are having all the fun.

Regards,

Kristyn

p.s. you look amazing in your photo above

[Renee Elise]

BillieAnne, this was a lovely post, thanks for sharing! It's the little things like this that really make us who we are and truly define inner beauty. Some people like to throw rocks from their glass houses, whatever. I'm sure you have many true friends here, ignore the rest. Illegitimi non carborundum ;).

[Lillyasia]

Thanks for being a goodwill ambassador for the CD/TS/TG community. People who do good often come under attack. It's called evil. Sad it should happen here in a forum for a community that is in the minority and out of the mainstream. It's a minority of the community that itself is a minority,

[Genny B]

A great read! I hope to read more from you Billie!


Genny B

[docrobbysherry]

BillieAJ, I must admit to not understanding exactly what happened to u that nite. I think the words, "ethnicity", and,"traits", threw me? But, your verbal demeaner and syntax is so up lifting, exuberant, and positive I couldn't help feeling good after reading it!

It sounded so "female" to me. Even more so than many of the posts by GG's! R u a GG by chance?

[Eringirl]

Thanks for sharing Billie! That was a wonderful story. Way to go. And you look great!! Can't believe anyone was laughing.

Erin

[Leslie Langford]

Good for you, Billie, and well played!

Like you, I have always believed that we crossdressers who go out in public en femme on regular basis have a duty to ourselves, our community, and the GG's whom we wish to emulate to present ourselves in the best possible light to bring legitimacy to our gender orientation in the eyes of "mainstream" folks.

No over-the-top fashion choices or fetish wear for this gal when I go out to mingle with the masses. I always make a point of dressing in an elegant and age-appropriate manner, and generally as well as (or better than) the GG's that I am likely to encounter in any particular setting. This has always worked well for me, and I have yet to experience an awkward moment in any of my dealings with others, even though I am sure that I must have been "read" from time to time. If anything, GG's seem to respond very positively to the care I take in perfecting my presentation, and SA's and female servers in restaurants in particular seem to fall all over themselves for the chance to interact with me (the curiosity factor?) and cheerfully provide whatever assistance that I might be seeking.

The added benefit of presenting this way is that it gives the "haters" very little ammunition for any taunts or disparaging remarks that they might otherwise be inclined to direct towards me...

[BillieAnneJean]

Lynda,
Consuelo,
Beverly,
If you can't see why someone would laugh at me then that is because I have a team of photo retouchers on staff.

Katey888
Yes no one has the right to be rude. One place that should be free of it is a support group. Also we would hope to be mutually supportive on the forums. What is really hard to understand is when a fellow CDer is rude. But it happens and we learn to not make ourselves available for that. You are such a sweetheart. I can't believe how compassionate you have been to me. I would love to give you a hug.

MichelleDevon
You may be a newbie here but you are past some because you already know the value of being respectful because you "try especially hard where our CD/TS/TG sorority is concerned". You are helping to make the balance on the net tilt towards compassion and kindness. One day you may experience the nasty posts and flaming. You may learn to gauge your posts to protect yourself from the flaming. But do not stop trying as you will have some positive impact. Other than a few nasties, this forum is a godsend and we all should be VERY grateful for it. And the longsuffering mods.

Isha,
I am glad you found something of use in my posts. All I ever tried to do was help others who CD because I have experienced SO MUCH PAIN as a result of my CDing. But I have to be careful. I am the Facilitator for a social and support group. We are a lifeline for people. In less than two years I have participated in two suicide interventions. I have held other CDers as they weep for joy at finding acceptance. I can't let The Group come under attack and not be able to defend against those who read one paragraph and immediately know the whole story when attacking. So I must be very careful to just post fluff. But this thread had to be done.

~Joanne~
I tried. But the nasty person won. I already had to reassure a girl that PMed me, seeking a group to be with, that looks are not important, that the class she said she has override everything. Be yourself, own it, display class and confidence and they are put on the defensive.

Linda Leigh,
Come join us. We have had girls come from farther than Illinois for OUTings. Our Group does infusions of gumption and confidence. Our "Graduates" go on to OUTings of their own.

More to come........

[BillieAnneJean]

These ladies that replied have all contributed to my happiness! Yet another list for my Thanksgiving!

[charlenesomeone]

Billie Anne, thank you for all of us whether we venture out or not.
Thanks for your stories, and your work in your group.
Char

[Tracy Hazel Lee]

I'm on board with everyone else... I see nothing funny about the way you looked in that photo. You looked totally fine!

Somebody must have had their corn flakes pissed on... Or they felt threatened by the comfort level you were displaying with your appearance. You handled it perfectly, and your confidence did not go unnoticed.