Observation

[Samantha Clark]

Walking on 4th Avenue in Seattle last week, I spotted a sister walking ahead of me. My observation made me ponder.

First, I reflected on the fact that I was aware that this was a man dressed as a woman. I wasn't aware that anyone else was similarly aware. What caused the blip on my radar? It was the indentation of the back of the calf due to cycling. That was then followed by the narrow hip and minimal gluteal protrusion. I concluded that my own cross dressing made me more attuned than others on the same sidewalk. While almost no one can pass, certainly none can pass to another crossdresser.

Second, I reflected on the fact that it made me feel good to see her out in public. She looked good. She wore a knee length dark skirt with grey woolen leggings. She was tall, and wore flats. Her shoulder length hair was blond with natural highlights, and appeared to be natural. I didn't get a look from the front but when she turned her head to look for oncoming traffic at a corner, I saw her face. She wore glasses and little makeup.

It made me feel good because I've been feeling pretty insecure about my desires to crossdress, even in private, and here was someone who felt secure enough to be public. So I felt good to be a crossdresser seeing this person. I had to this point never seen a dresser in real life.

I also felt good because it made cross dressing more real. While conversing online is great and beneficial, there was something about the sight of this flesh and blood person that had an impact. I felt less alone.

So thank you, whoever you are.

[Beverley Sims]

Brenda,
You had me worried for a moment, I was wandering around University and the Library last week but I was wearing what I am wearing in my avatar.

[Samantha Clark]

Sorry I missed you! No she was wearing a skirt and dressy coat with no hood.

[Promethea]

this was a man dressed as a woman.

Please, do not make those assumptions. They may be a trans woman, or maybe even a cisgendered woman with some masculine features.
If she's trans and is on this forum, she will hate what you called her. I know I would, and it could have been me, as it's clear that I am trans, but I am nothing of a man.

[kimdl93]

Of course, the OP may have misread the person they saw. But the real point is that seeing (or believing that she saw) an open, confident and nicely dressed CDr in public made her feel good about herself. I don't know if you saw a GG or a CDr. Doesn't matter...what matters is the effect. In another thread, Leslie Langford comment that those of us who go out in public are emissaries to the society. How we dress and conduct ourselves helps form and inform the public. And it seems that seeing one of us presenting well and confidently can also help boost the self image of other CDrs. That's a wonderful thing too.

[Promethea]

Kim, I meant that I, and other TS women don't appreciate being called "a man in a dress", for that is not what we are.

Unless they tell you they're just a CD, and not a trans woman, don't assume they are, specially because the majority of us "out in the streets" are probably transexual, since CDing is a part time thing generally.

And then, I also know some CDers that don't identify as "a man in a dress".

[Samantha Clark]

Of course I should have taken more care to be more politically correct. She appeared to me to be a CD'r, not TS but my impression could have been in error. In any event, I intentionally used the term "man" in the sense of sex assigned at birth rather than the gendered term. I didn't have my Transgender 101 reference book at my finger tips and must have inadvertently used man when perhaps it should have been "male?" Sorry if I made a mistake and therefore you took offense. None was intended. I do try to take care distinguishing between sex and gender.

Kim is right, however, in pointing out that the heart of my post was the feeling that I am really not all by myself in this CD thing.

[Judith96a]

Brenda,
Thanks for sharing your experience and for sharing how validating it was for you.
I don't think that it really matters whether the person whom you sighted was a CDer or not. What really matters is how you reacted to someone whom you perceived as a 'sister' and how sighting her encouraged you!

I very occasionally sight women whom, whether correctly or not, I perceive to be 'sisters' and I invariably long to be able to slip alongside and say "good for you" - not the etiquette but ... However, on one occasion I DID meet "in the big bad world" someone whom I knew to be 'one of us' (and who, after I had identified myself, knew exactly how I knew) and it was absolutely thrilling to be able to say to her "good for you, you're looking fantastic" and to be able to share a conspiratorial wink!

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Hi Brenda, love Seattle, might have lived there if it weren't for the weather!

I'm glad you got a buzz from seeing a sister, I really get how you felt. Good luck with your further expeditions.

Hugs, Nikki

[Promethea]

Sorry, Brenda, I don't want to be a b***h. I am happy the encounter gave you confidence.

Reading your sarcastic reply, I imagine you don't stop by the TS subforum often (which is normal, as you don't identify as TS). I would like to share a couple threads with you, just for you to get a glimpse of what some TS people go through, and how some of us feel about the way we are perceived. Hopefully you will see that I'm not just being picky about political correctness, but what you may consider an innocent comment can have a bigger effect on someone else who is already going through emotional turmoil due to the same thing you're commenting on, and it would be much better to avoid that in this place intended for support.

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?220790-When-does-it-start-getting-better
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?221607-Feeling-embarrased
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?220523-I-hate-this-feeling
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?221605-I-m-scared

[bimini1]

Well, you think you saw someone who was affected by some kind of gender situation. Whatever that situation is, it made you feel good. This has happened to me as well. It gives me hope that the world is really changing.

[Lorileah]

Sorry, Brenda, I don't want to be a b***h...
Reading your sarcastic reply, I imagine you don't stop by the TS subforum often (which is normal, as you don't identify as TS).

OK you made your point. This isn't the TS forum and although I agree that the OP doesn't know for sure if the person was CD/TS/or GG, you are taking this well beyond what is needed. If you don't like what is said, make your point and move on. It wasn't an intentional slight aimed at the TSs