Totally confused

[Joanne_2003]

I haven't been posting here for a while. I have been confused about my cd'ing, while I enjoy the feel of my lingerie I have been questioning my recent feelings. While my SO accepts my crossdressing and has been very supportive she seldom touches or caresses me while dressed. I have been fantisizing about her caressing me. I don't know if I'm really bi-curious or if I just fantisize about being treated like a lady while enfemme?

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

While you can only decide this for yourself, it's possible you just want to affection that the caress represents.

If you're interested in being "treated like a lady," you could ask your wife if she's interested in role play -- I'm assuming you'd like her to take the lead, as it were, on a "date." It's possible she might be into this, although I'd be prepared to reciprocate in some way -- whether it's acting out a fantasy of her's or just pampering her in some other way.

If you're interested in being intimate with your wife en femme, you could always talk with her about this, although her behavior would suggest she probably won't be interested.

[Petrina CD]

Don't feel alone, my wife is the same way. She accepts my dressing , she helps me at the mall when buying clothes( girl clothes) and she will help me to make sure it all fits right by having me try everything on when we get home,but..... after that she really doesn't want to see me in drag if she doesn't have to . I know she won't go for sex with me dressed , I asked her and she said no. So I do my dressing in my own den and once in a while she will come in while I am dressed to use the phone or tell me she is leaving. If she comes in to say she is leaving , I might get a hug , maybee.. Some S/Os are more accepting than others. To me ,an S/O that doesn't move out after finding out you are a CDer is a person to hang on to. I to would like to be caressed while dressed but it is not going to happen.


Petrina cd

[TaraB]

There is usually 2 sides to peoples attraction. One side Mentally the other Physically. She sounds like she is in love with you and accepts everything on the mental side but on the physical side she is looking for a manly touch. Be very careful in pushing this subject with her because you will no doubt push her into the arms of another person.

[Julia Cross]

Tara, I could not agree more. While they may accept the dressing, it doesn't mean they are attracted to the dressed up man. As we are all conditioned to find certain qualities of the opposite sex attractive, we are also conditioned to find similarities to our own sex unattractive. Social conditioning goes deep and although the mind is intelligent enough to understand accept our partners change in appearance, the emotional element, the attraction, may be the opposite or at least not nearly as accepting.

Be happy she accepts your dressing, that is more than many CD's get from their spouse.

J

[TGMarla]

Well, you really can't blame her, can you? She's not the transgendered one, and cannot see things from your point of view. She's simply not attracted to someone wearing feminine things. I see where you're coming from, but here you have a sympathetic audience. We all want that. But the fact that she seems to not be sexually attracted to you when you are wearing girly things seems rather normal to me. It's too bad, really, but normal.

[Melinda G]

Most of us want to fully explore and enjoy the crossdressing, and at the same time maintain a normal sexual relationship with a woman. Tough thing to do, under the best of circumstances. Most normal women want a man, and after they see you dressed, they will never see you in the same way again.

[KateW]

I totally agree. While it is the ideal situation for our partner to accept the dressing - unless they knew before you started dating... it's not what she signed up for, and you should definately respect that.

[annekathleen]

We all love to crossdress, but we all seem to do it for so many different reasons. I used to wear womens panties just for the way they felt, and for some type of sexual gratification while wearing them. Once I was done, I usually took them off and put them away. Then I found myself wearing them more and more and eventually having the courage to wear them outside of the home. I don't know if it was my second divorce that triggered my bi-sexual curiousities. I found myself watching x rated videos of women giving men oral sex. I used to wish that I was the guy, but found myself wishing that I was the woman. I would play with those realistic looking rubber penises while dressed up like a woman, and I found myself wanting to explore my curiousities. I eventually satisfied my curiosities and have been discretely bi for about five years. Sometimes I wear my feminine clothing while I am engaging in my bi activities. I used to think that there was some type of correlation between wearing panties and being bi. I thought alot of panty wearing guys were bi, and a lot of bi guys like to wear panties. I have to thank this room and all of its wonderful members for opening up my eyes and opening up my mind, that dispite our common desire to cross dress, we are all so different in our sexual preferences and styles, yet we are all so accepting of each other. Just a big thank you to all just for being yourself.

[CharleneCD]

Dont feel alone My wife is the same way. She says she feels no sexual attraction to Me when I am fem. If that kind of attraction is not there, it's not there. Just be happy that she loves and supports you.

[Angela Burke]

There can be a vast difference between tolerating and liking something.

[Sarahgurl371]

Its just another facet to the whole thing that isn't understood by any one other than us who feel it and know what its about.

I too long to just be carressed and just kinda held most of the time. At what point is it fair or unfair for us to be loved the way we wish as well? I understand that for a marraige to be successful there needs to be a balance, but just how does all this fit in?

[Dayna]

Seems like there is a lot of agreement here.

There was a time early on when dressing was an erotic turn-on, and I hoped that I could be intimate with my wife while dressed...you know, the best of both worlds. But as they say, it takes two to tango!

Caring and respect are much more important to me these days, and I am glad to say I get that from my wife--I am fortunate that she is my best friend.

And I still get the best of both worlds: one I share with her, and the other I enjoy by myself.