Can you tell the difference between being clocked and checked out?

[StephanieCLT]

So Nicole's question reminded me of something that I've wondered when I've been out dressed. For many of us, we've been out and plenty of people didn't pay us mind, one way or another. We did our thing and they did theirs. Awesome.

However, there are usually folks (sometimes a few, sometimes more) who will pay a little attention - a second glance, a look up and down, etc. In my experience, it's usually the men more than the women who will give me the once over. So, I'm left with the question, is he "checking me out?" or is he trying to determine male or female?

It doesn't really matter in the end, but I am usually honestly wondering what's going on in that person's head. As one who aims for being passable, I'd love to think that it's someone who's checking me out (to be clear, being checked out doesn't equate to hotness, lol), and as a heterosexual guy myself, I've certainly been known to check out girls. Since I seem to notice this more with men than women, I'm hopeful this is the case. On the other hand, it could be someone clocking me and thinking, "there's a dude in a dress."

So, what are your thoughts? Can you tell the difference between the two when you're out?

[Jaylyn]

Since I'm not out I can only speculate on your scenario. Who can tell what someone else is thinking. Their eyes might give clues but which way, or what they are thinking is totally untrue. Maybe the only way to find out is if you asked them. I still check out good looking girls but it is now not because I am thinking they are sexy or hot, but because it seems now I look at what they are dressed in, their make up, and how they walk so I might immolate them the next time I dress. I know Crossdressers notice other Crossdressers as I have seen a thread or two on here about them clocking another cd. Maybe we are more in tune with what CDs look like than the normal public.

[Adriana Moretti]

Can you tell the difference between the two when you're out?

IS there a difference? LOL....its probably always a little of both.

[Lynn Marie]

I notice this phenomenon mostly at clubs and restaurants. Guys seem to be initially attracted and then get embarrassed! Women either ignore me or are attracted and want to know more! They actually smile a little when checking me out.

[michelleddg]

Excellent question. Short answer is *** you can't be sure ***.

Last spring my wife followed me around at a short distance as I made the rounds of Fremont Street in Las Vegas. She said I was definitely turning heads but could not tell whether it was because:

1) I was attractive
2) I was well made up
3) I was 6 feet tall
4) I was a dude

No doubt all 4 came into play, but I'll never know the percentages :-) Hugs, Michelle

[silkycdresser]

I echo the responses that say it could be mix of both.

I always aim to pass or blend, too, so I hope guys who stare or double-take me are doing so because they are checking me out, not clocking me as a guy in a dress.

I must admit that I'm very much an admirer of women, both from the liking what they're wearing angle and also the 'wow, she's gorgeous' in an attractive way angle. So it's kind of off when I'm walking around en femme but I double-take a few women myself!

The worst thing about a guy checking a CD out and then realising it's a guy isn't when they get embarrassed but if they make a scene and make fun out of you, to compensate for their embarrassment.

[Jenniferathome]

Stephanie,

I believe that it is rare, really rare, that were being checked out. The reason is, we're men dressed as women. There are a million cues that scream "man." Now, that does not mean we can not confuse. I think this may be the best a cross dresser can hope for. "Is that a dude?" or "Was that a dude?" is probably a fairly common reaction if you are presenting confidently and appropriately. On only one occasion do I know I was "checked out" because a man said to me, "I don't mean to be rude, but those are some damn fine legs." Yep, he said exactly that. All I can think is that he never looked at my face!

[Kate Simmons]

Easy one. When I'm clocked I usually see sneers and hear snickers. When I'm checked out I feel like I'm getting a physical for life insurance and there is noticeable drooling sometimes, especially if the person is drunk. I've been called a princess, an a hole, a sl*t, a B-och. Jeez seems like a lot of attention being paid to a 67 year old guy, but I digress.:battingeyelashes::)

[Sheila11]

In my own little world I will only accept the reality that I am being checked out.

Ohhhhhh baby!!

[Stephanie47]

When I was a lot younger I once took an evening stroll in my blond wig, long sleeve red dress, red heels and hosiery. I received a honk and a yell of affirmation from a passing pickup truck. I supposed at the time it was a call of admiration. The only other times I encountered people was walking with an umbrella in the evening on a rainy night. I did not receive any glances one way or another. At six foot and 190 pounds I do not pass. I've traded the blond wig for a grey one, so I'm sure young "dudes" are not interested. Hopefully, they see a mature woman from afar and leave it at that.

[Sallee]

I would definitely be checking out a 6' tall well made up attractive woman.

What a great question. I have always wondered I have certainly caught guys checking me out I loved it. Now, why they were checking me out, I don't know I like to think because I was attractive and well, hot. but who knows I'll go with attractive and think they had no clue I was a dude

[Rachael Leigh]

Stephanie I had an experience in Vegas where I wondered the same thing, got some looks while out and did wonder were they wondering if I was a guy or did my look pass enough that they thought how nice I looked, in the end I guess it doesnt matter but those of us who dress and do want to look our most passable and our best I guess we do hope its the checking out look.

[JamieQ]

Probably both. I notice women check me out way more than men do. Maybe the men quickly spot me and move on while the women do as they see what I'm wearing or doing. Then sometimes it seems as no one notices, or maybe trey really don't care...

[Rhian]

Have a little bit more confidence Jen I don't think anything about you stands out enough to make anyone who isn't looking for a man in a dress, you have to remember that when we dress we are looking specifically for blokish elements of us were as the general public aren't.

[silkycdresser]

A couple of weeks ago, I was with my SO in a large mall and I saw what I thought was an attractive woman in a skirt suit approaching. Only when I looked at the person's face very closely (but not to rudely stare or anything) did I clock that it was a guy. I knew, I could just tell, but my SO normally notices everything and is kinda annoying like that... and she didn't clock him/her. So I thought "good on ya" and wish I could have started a conversation, but the opportunity passed too fast.

[missVS]

My last weekend outing I was stared down hard by a man for at least 10 minutes. It was somewhat disturbing but I do not let things get to me so no problem. There were even comments when me and Hazel got up to leave. Now this is being clocked and more. Other times I would get looks mostly from females and nothing but the normal checkout like my attire and face. Others no notice at all. I agree with Jennifer if you really check somebody out we are so noticeable in so many ways. It would have to be really hot face with fem body and thats more rare than common. Like I tell my son all the times when he thinks he's sneaky. Your not fooling anybody!!

[Teresa]

Stephanie,
A guy checking you out may be thinking is he gay ? even though he may not be himself ! A woman is more likely to think weido !

Strangely last time I was shopping for heels in drab the guys passing by ignored me and the women kept peering round the racks ! In fact one was definitely following me ! You could she was not size 8-9 , but was interested in what I was doing !

[Hell on Heels]

Yeah Adriana it is probably a bit both. On my night out in SF I didn't really spend much time looking to see if people were clocking me or checking me out. But one GG passing by as we walked on the sidewalk had certainly clocked me. We made direct eye contact, and at that moment she got a huge smile and a gleem in her eye, like someone had just handed her the cutest puppy in the world, and it was hers to keep! So what's that? She clocked me, but also checked me out?
Whatever, I made her day I guess, and you know what, she made mine a bit better too.
Much Love,
Kristyn

[Sometimes Steffi]

One time at the Keystone Conference, I was at the hotel bar with a lot of girls like us.

There was apparently a group of policemen meeting there, and when they first came in, they looked at us and stayed clear like they could catch trans from us. But after a while, some of the cops seemed to adjust their reality. The started looking at us like, looks like a girl, walks like a girl, must be a girl. Of course, it may have been the beer goggles.

[ChristinaK]

No, I don't think that most of the time we know. But, I have been asked by a grocery store clerk if I needed any help, which doesn't happen in guy mode unless I look lost, which I wasn't. He gave me a huge smile as well.

Twice that I can recall I have been asked by other customers how I'm doing. Never as a male. I have seen men checking out my boobs, then smile at me.

I'm 6'1" with broad shoulders,but have D breasts. I find this offsets my wide shoulders somewhat, but looks great in a tight top. My wife is DDD and 5' 10" and she gets a lot of looks. I think many men like the "amazon" women if they're proportional. Also, I think many men, including myself, don't pay attention to the face if other attributes are more compelling.

I do find that I get more looks from women and most often they do the sly smile,which I smile back at. It is very flattering to get checked out by men, but I think just as a confirmation that I pass. Makes one feel good.

[sometimes_miss]

So, I'm left with the question, is he "checking me out?" or is he trying to determine male or female?
Possibly he initially doesn't know. Our eyes are drawn to anything that is different from what we expect to see as background. Once looking directly at you, unless you're in the 1% who pass, and then again, the much less than that who can pass as a hot real girl, it then simply becomes the sex determination. You know if you're in that tiny, tiny % of us, so deep down, you already know what he's thinking.

[Beverley Sims]

I don't worry about it, if I get the look, I get the look.
I have provided someone with entertainment for the day and entertainment is my forte. :)

[docrobbysherry]

I agree with Kate completely. If u can't tell which is which? It's because you're overly nervous, preoccupied, don't give a crap, or clueless!
Mostly? I get the sneers and snickers like Kate. But, I've watched guys checking me out when I've tried to pass. They have that curious, "I wonder" expression? Then, I've had guys that know I'm a CD and r interested. No doubts, only "full speed ahead", in their eyes and smiles!:devil:


Easy one. When I'm clocked I usually see sneers and hear snickers. When I'm checked out I feel like I'm getting a physical for life insurance and there is noticeable drooling sometimes, especially if the person is drunk. I've been called a princess, an a hole, a sl*t, a B-och. Jeez seems like a lot of attention being paid to a 67 year old guy, but I digress.:battingeyelashes::)

[Rhanda]

I don't dress completely often. I don't try to pass as a woman because I am completely bald and don't have a wig. But, I wear breast forms and a bra all the time and high heels also. Tonight when I was at the supermarket I caused two men to stare at me and begin to laugh. I have grown used to this and have learned to ignore it. I have never felt threatened by this reaction.
There may a good reason for this general acceptance. Mine is the WW2 era which was known also as the Big Band era and the Crooner era. All those guys had to wear stage makeup or they couldn't be seen in those bright lights. A lot of us guys started to wear makeup for every occasion and some of us , me included have kept it up through the rest of our lives. I wear makeup nearly every day and have had very few people say anything. When I don't have time for it I get asked if I'm feeling bad. I don't want to look like a woman necessarily but want to look my best.

Rhanda

[Marcelle]

Hi Stephanie,

Well for the most part when I am out looks are most likely from those who have clocked me. However it is possible on occasion I have been checked out and this usually goes hand in hand with the way people process visual cues. So a guy seeing me at a distance might see, long hair, slighter frame, long hair and think . . . "must check this one out" as he draws closer, there is a more detailed examination of body (guys tend to process upwards) so he may still thing "girl" the checking out continues until close examination tells him "boy".

Hugs

Isha

[Jennifer Kelly]

I've been clocked a couple of times at the gay/CD bar I go to, but always by women and then they strike up a conversation about how they like my shoes or my dress and genuinely want to know about the whole CD thing. A couple of my FB friends on my female FB came about this way. A few months ago I was out with two GG friends and a couple walked by us. The woman gave me a look and I could tell she'd clocked me (probably because of the hideous wig I was wearing, I've since gotten rid of that one, also the fact that I was 6'3" in my heels and my friends are 5'4" and 5'6" probably didn't help). I didn't pay her any mind. The first time I got checked out it was by a lesbian and I had to let her down gently. :) Also got chatted up by a drunk gay guy once.

[Sarah Doepner]

As soon as the pitchforks and torches to come out I know I've been clocked. So far that hasn't happened so they must all be astonished by my beauty.

My assumption is I've never been checked out as a possible or even imaginary partner, so it's always an effort to determine not gender but species when they look at me for longer than a few seconds.

[JenniferYager]

Everyone reacts differently. I've been checked out plenty of times before, and it mainly looked like a once-over. Up closer, or if I had to speak to someone, I've been clocked. Most people are nice, but you can usually tell by a weird twitch somewhere. For example, the lady that sold tickets at the museum I went to took a second longer to smile when she realized I was a guy, and I could tell the difference because I saw her smile first when I walked in the door (hadn't opened my mouth yet).

Then again, I dress only a slight bit better than the crowd, so unless you're actively looking, I tend to blend in, despite being tall.

[tammie]

HI : For me its very simple , writers call it "plausible deniability" , here is the difference ;

Once I had just put on a new Wacoal bra , it was a full coverage brassiere and fit me so well and felt so great that I lost track of time and when I realized I only had about 20 minutes to go to the pharmacy and get my Rx before closing , I pulled on a shirt

and headed out the door without looking to see how much it showed . Well it printed and showed my perfectly round breasts (42C) and one woman chased me down in the store and told me how cute I looked in my bra .

I was shocked and speechless so I just mumbled a quick thankyou and disappeared missing a great opportunity. That is suspecting I was wearing a brassiere.

One morning early (4AM) I couldn't sleep and put on a matching bra LLPG and a satin with lace cami and tappant set and walked down the driveway to get my mail from the day before . I didn't see the teenage girl and her boyfriend making out on her car trunk

in the semidarkness (truth is I didn't look close enough). As I opened my mailbox I heard her say "nice outfit honey" from about 25 feet away, I turned saw her then and could see her smiling again I said thankyou, and thatis being made , so there is a

difference between suspecting and seeing up close and in detail in the dim light of dawn .

It really was a cute cami and tappant set too.