The Law of Atraction

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o everyone,
No I'm not talking about finding that special someone, what I'm talking about here is a snowball effect that takes place in our head. ( Chill pill anyone? )
The Law of Attraction is about the things we focus, or obsess on., things we are attracted to.
The more time we spend thinking about these things we are interested in, our interests grow, and the more time we are willing to invest in thinking about, or doing this particular thing.
Is this in someway a form of OCD?
Is there anyone that can relate?
Much Love,
Kristyn

[charlenesomeone]

Kristyn I know what you mean. It seems to want to run amok sometimes.
Most people are very avid with their hobbies. But this is not just a hobby to some of us.
It seems some here post of how they change without girl time, so maybe there is a
mechanism within us that lets us know when we need more girl, is there also one for when we need less?
I know some are truly girls, so no amount of non-girl time is OK. But for others?
It does consume sometimes. But not trying to stop at all.
JMHO
Hugs

[Katey888]

Hell-o back, Kristyn... :)

I'm sure I've said before that the key to me as to how folk do this relates to their motivations and needs. But I think all of us have a touch of the obsessive about us, if for no other reason than actually, things like makeup needs to be obsessed over as some of us have so much to hide!

Here's some things I have obsessed on and some things I could if I let my control slip...
Things I have/do:
- Makeup... particularly eyes and concealer... oh, and lips too...
- Shoes... shoes too tall to wear longer than ten minutes comfortably but look fab... (actually, I'm getting over that one...)
- Boots... can't have enough tall, full-length, calf-hugging boots... :)
Things I could:
- Jewellery... I'd love to have nice jewellery but cheapo costume stuff from China is the order of the day...
- Handbags.... OMG! Only really practical for outings, but I can totally get why GGs love them as a fashion and practical piece of art... :cheer:

Yeah... I challenge anyone here in this place to not be obsessive about some part of this weird and wonderful passion... :yahoo:

Katey x

[Kate Simmons]

I think for myself at least it's become more about who I am than an obsession. Now that I have it what next? Kind of like the grass is greener on the other side, be careful what you wish for, etc. :heehee::)

[Alice Torn]

I have obsessed over girls i could never have, fishing, sports stuff, sarted dressing age 14, guilt and shame caused me to drop it. Obsessed later over women i wanted to marry, but could not, later on, age 51 bought dresses, heels, wigs, make up. A big part of my dressing, not all, but a big part, is lack of closeness to another human being, or marriage. A poor replacement fot real intimacy. I have come to the realization, that neither me, nor my siblings, all in our 60's have ever been mature and balanced and healthy, enough for marriage. I recognize that I come from a very bizarre family, and my parents, and siblings all single or dead. A pattern of oddities. I am dressing less lately, for several reasons. This thing can take over everything, like any addiction or compulsion. That is my reality. Others of you all, have a bit different story and reality, and what is true for me, may not be true for you.

[deebra]

Yes, I can relate; an example was the pink fog got me thinking about buying a certain type and color bra, the more I thought about it the stronger the need got, so I gave in, went shopping and found three bras I liked and bought them. This led to finding matching panties that I also bought. As soon as I walked in the door I striped down, tried them on, checked myself out in front of the mirrow and happy, happy, happy. It's a good thing to reward yourself like this, it makes a much happier person. The "Law" can be a good thing, just make sure the big head knows when to put the brakes on. I might add being a CD and applying the Law can bring us more pleasure and happiness than just being a straight old drab male.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Obsessing happens to everyone from time to time doesn't it? What's fun is Magnificent Obsessions. Without those, there'd be no Eiffel Tower, no Pyramids, no Space Travel, no 5" spiked heels.

Also, no heart attacks from 10 doughnuts a day, but that's another kind of obsession.

[Gypsy Sam]

Obsessing with the brakes on. Undue stress or just not that into it? The brain emits a chemical to various parts of the skull,and a itch needs to be scratched. Wishes and dreams fulfilled bring a endorphin surge that can be quite enjoyable. Nothing wrong with creatively presenting as female. The perception process is the most complicated to be understood and accepted.
Enjoyed sharing deebra's experience of having fun not being a straight old drab male.

[Ressie]

The law of attraction is about things and events that are attracted to you because you think about those things a lot. Positive thinking attracts positive, negative thinking attracts negative. CDing is a form of OCD in my case.

[Lynn Marie]

When I could only dress in private and was hiding it from my ex, I obsessed about it all the time. Now that I'm free to dress whenever I like and go wherever I like, I'm just not obsessive at all! It surprises even me!

[MissTee]

Good question. One of the things that has helped me be successful in life is the ability to laser focus on a goal, and to have the tenacity to stick to it until complete. In that sense, it's been very constructive.

On the flip side, that same skill made dealing with the pink fog period in my life very difficult. Not sure that trait is OCD, but more Aspergers syndrome-ish since an intense interest trait is a byproduct of Aspergers.

[audreyinalbany]

well I think, for me at least, it becomes more of an obsession because of the 'forbiddenness' of cross dressing. When you are denied something you want , you tend to think about it more than if the desire were satisfied immediately. I suspect (although I'll never know for sure), that if I were allowed to dress as a woman anytime I wanted , come and go from the house, go shopping, out to lunch, the movies, or whatever, that the desire would equilibrate over time; it wouldn't be such a big deal and wouldn't necessitate the obsessing.

[NicoleScott]

The brain emits a chemical to various parts of the skull,and a itch needs to be scratched. Wishes and dreams fulfilled bring a endorphin surge that can be quite enjoyable.

Yes, I agree with Gypsy Sam. I'm not a chemist, biologist, psychologist.....so I don't know the right words to describe it. But I believe it has to do with pleasure feeding back into the brain, creating a need for greater pleasure for doing the same thing, only more intensely or more often.

[mykell]

so if your referring to Obsessive Crossdressing Disorder, guilty as charged, and to the point im going to get in trouble, "hey buddy stop staring at my girl", oh im sorry i was just admiring her eye make up, "yea right" (boom to the moon), i find myself way too infatuated with certain looks or styles that ill stare to long sometimes, ive even found myself hovering around women when i find a taller GG, i try to get close to see how close we measure up, gonna get it someday,

but to seriously answer, OCD, not now, these feelings and thoughts are no longer unwanted, and the actions just feel like normal behavior at this point, if asked this same question 25- 15 - 10 years ago i may have gave a different answer, but it is what it is now.....

[MsVal]

If you show me where you spend your time, you'll show me your priorities.

Best wishes
MsVal

[Beverley Sims]

My obsessions ebb and flow with time and situations.
Today it can be skinny jeans, tomorrow boots, and the next handbags.
It's whatever takes my fancy.

[Ms. Laura]

I'm definitely in a snowball of obsessiveness and have been for sometime. Is this just obsessive behavior or discovery of deeper feelings? I don't know. I wish I did.

However, I could certainly see how it could be, like when a person gets the golf bug! But, I don't think that's my case, having had that malady, it doesn't feel the same.

[Gillian Gigs]

Obsession...just ask some-one who has 47 pairs of panties, 23 bras, and keeps shopping for more! I can definately see an obsessive side to this whole CDing thing with many of us. Question is... who is willing to admit to it.
I have way more panties than I would ever need and the snowball can get really big as it keeps rolling along...

[ReineD]

The more time we spend thinking about these things we are interested in, our interests grow, and the more time we are willing to invest in thinking about, or doing this particular thing.

I've been passionate about several things during the course of my life, and some of these activities were high on my priority list for as long as I had the opportunity to enjoy them. For example, as a young woman (about age 13 until my kids were born), I read huge amounts of literature. If the book was particularly gripping I loved my hour of reading before bedtime. During these same years, I loved it when winter came so I could ski, and it was all the better if I could ski at least once per week. Photography came into my life for a few years and while I had a darkroom at my disposal, I took a lot of photographs.

But, I don't think I became obsessed with these things in the same way as the CDing seems to be for some members here. When my kids were born I no longer had solid blocks of time to read, and it was no longer a priority. We moved to a non-skiing area, and so I stopped skiing. When the darkroom was no longer available, and when my parents moved away from the horse-farm down the road, I stopped taking pictures and horseback riding. And I was fine, I just took up other hobbies that were available to me. I was a runner for awhile, and I did develop a serious interest in cooking.

I do think that the strength of interest in the CDing (according to the way some members describe it here) is in a class of its own especially if it usurps the other things in life. Even if you are not actively CDing, if you are constantly thinking about it when you are doing other things, this is an indication that you are not fully present in the rest of your life. There are of course people who are compulsive about all sorts of things other than the CDing. It's nice to say that if the CDing becomes ever-present in a CDer's mind then it means there are gender identity issues, but unfortunately this is not always the case. There are people for whom the CDing is a compulsion like any other.

So if it is causing you concern, I would think about seeking help.

<edit>
This is an aside, but I've read a lot of threads lately about gfs/wives who are non-accepting. I think this is true in cases where the wife senses that the CDing is a compulsion more than the mere act of enjoying an evening while wearing women's clothes. My SO does not have a CDing compulsion. He dresses once or twice per week (less lately due to time-constraints), but it is not on his mind constantly when he doesn't dress, nor is it sexual. There was a time early in our relationship when I did perceive it was a compulsion (when my SO seemed to think of little else), and this was by far the most difficult period in our relationship in fact, we almost didn't survive. And it wasn't about me thinking that men shouldn't dress as women, since I don't feel that way at all.