Losing the Feeling?

[LelaK]

After 4 months of having to avoid dressing, I finally arrived lately at a place where I can dress pretty often. I have a nice room and I told the landlords I crossdress and they're okay with it. One of them is even bisexual and a former hairdresser. So she's very accepting of it and may even help with makeup etc. My goal is to see if I can come close to actually looking feminine. From the neck down I do, but the rest will be a challenge, I think.

Actually, my "unspoken" goal is to FEEL feminine. Even though my body looks rather nicely feminine when dressed, I'm not feeling feminine much lately. Over the decades I've never felt masculine nor wanted to feel that, but it seems that a somewhat masculine identity has grown up nonetheless like a tough weed in my psyche. I'd like for it to die and to plant and cultivate a more feminine self-concept, as I think I had in my youth.

How much do others here like to feel feminine? I suppose many who want to feel feminine all the time tend to be transsexuals. Others here don't seem to mind feeling masculine much of the time. As for me, I've always felt rather absurd being a guy etc. For those who want to feel feminine all or most of the time, how often do you get your wish?

I'm really curious to see if I can come close to passing and I hope to find my feminine identity back, whether I pass or not, but even if I fail on both counts, I think life will still be interesting and fun enough anyway. Right?

[shawnsheila]

Hi Lelak,
If I could I would go full time and do HRT but I can not do it for now as my wife would not be very happy about that. I think I know what you mean... i want to both look like a woman and feel like one.. I feel so free... even an employee of mine said that I am more confident and more "real" when dressed as a woman. I also try my hardest to pass too... its very important to me to the point where I did laser hair removal from my body and would even consider plastic surgery to feminize my face more if my wife would let me do it.

A gal can only hope for someday

[Marcelle]

Hi Lela,

While I can't say I have a desire to feel feminine (as I am not 100 percent sure what that means), I do know that when I go out "en femme" I want to portray Isha in as much a close approximation to a woman as I can reach. I still feel like me (same wants, hopes, dreams, personality) I just alter the presentation from my normal boy self. As such my female identity and my boy identity are the same. When it comes to how I look, I believe we all have to be willing to accept our limitations when presenting "en femme" after all we are men and most (not all) have facial characteristics which scream "guy". However, I found by accepting this and just working with what I have and realizing that when I go out I will get read, I has made going in public that much easier.

Hugs

Isha

[Kate Simmons]

I don't know what it feels like to be feminine per se, I only know what it feels like to be me. :)

[Nikkilovesdresses]

The feeling feminine part will probably build gradually, as you accept yourself more. Sounds like the place you've found may be highly conducive to that. I only had one sudden revelation, a few months back I found myself staying with a female friend who was totally accepting of me crossdressing. Day after day I was able to wear a dress, and it was summer so it was easy to feel very comfortable. We talked endlessly about make up, clothes, styles, and her anguished relationship with her boyfriend. suddenly it struck me that I felt like we were sisters- not in the genetic sense, just that we were on the same wavelength. It was a tremendously wholesome feeling. She felt exactly the same thing.

But the rest of it, the coming to terms with my feminine side, has been a slower process.

Let us know how it goes!

[audreyinalbany]

I'm with Kate on this one…. When I'm in guy mode I don't feel "masculine", I just feel like me; when I'm in femme mode I still feel like me, only me dressed as a woman. Not sure what it would mean to feel 'feminine'

[LelaK]

Okay then, I'll have to explain better what I mean by feeling feminine. I mean feeling like I'm a girl. Having a girl identity. I'm me, of course, but part of me also is my ideals. Most of us have ideals, I think. We have ideals for our work, our homes, our vehicles, our families, our communities etc. My ideal for my self-concept is more girl-like. My identity is girl-like, but my self-concept says I'm a guy. I want to persuade my self-concept that I'm much more a girl.

I'm not stressing out over it, but I just wanted to share the feeling I'm having. I'm not feeling despair, but some frustration. I'll have to think about whether it's worthwhile to re-educate my self-concept, or whether it will come naturally or something. Thanks for feedback.

[Ally 2112]

When im dressed i do and try to look and feel femine .When im in guy mode i try to be all guy it just works best for me

[Kate Simmons]

I knew what you meant Hon but as far as feelings, I'm just me. I don't even know how a guy is supposed to feel. If you ask a lot of women they will tell you they really don't know what it feels like to be a woman, just themselves. So, I guess by extension that would make me a woman?:battingeyelashes::)

[kimdl93]

I have to go along with the just feel like me response. I don't dress to feel feminine...I dress because I feel like myself when I am en femme. The clothes just help me match insides and outsides a bit better.

[Kandi Robbins]

When dressed, I feel more "pretty" than female or feminine. My brain is too hard wired as a male/husband/father and my desire to crossdress is this separate thing outside of it that I felt compelled to do and now have come to enjoy. But living most of my life surrounded by women, I definitely do not feel feminine. I know too well what that means and it goes beyond clothing. Make sense?

[Beverley Sims]

Never lost the drive to do it, always try to present feminine in female clothes.

[Brynna M]

I'm sure this doesn't help persay but i'll describe my feelings.

I'm with Kandi. I want to feel pretty. I don't necessarily want to change my self concept to that of a female. I do want to change my self image to something I feel is more attractive and indulge in some things usually reserved for females. I don't really want the feeling that I am predominantly female.