Sharing apt with a girl. Is it a good idea?

[leonal123]

Hi, I am relocating for job in midwest and looking for apt. I replied to a few post on CL with my fem pic and that I am a crossdresser. Out of 20 submission, 3 girls replied back (Mostly working women) that they are fine and that I can come see the apt.
Is it a good idea to share apt with a gg or woman and be myself?

I am expecting to take her help and be comfortable around her en femme. Get tips from her. But will she take me as a friend or someone who amuses her? HOw can I tell teh difference.
What could be possible problems in this?

[Lorileah]

why not? However did any volunteer to help you dress or make up? You know the definition of roommate right? Or house sharing?

room·mate
ˈro͞omˌmāt,ˈro͝omˌmāt/ North American
a person occupying the same apartment or house as another. A roommate might be either a joint tenant or a subtenant, depending upon the terms of the lease or rental agreement.

Shared housing is defined as an arrangement in which two or more unrelated people share a house or an apartment. Usually private sleeping quarters are available; the rest of the house is shared. I don't see anything about any OTHER requirements.

You are reading a lot more into the response than is intended. If this had been a man replying, would you still be making the same assumptions?

[Adriana Moretti]

I think its a good idea..in my experience gals have been REALLY accepting ( when it's up front) ....most i told want to put me in their pocket and take me home with them like "awwww....thats cute.... To me gals are really cool and accepting when you lay it out there....my ex's though...different story...it really pays to be up front IMO. Good Luck

[leonal123]

Thanks guys :) Nah, its mostly for sharing apt. I will have separate room and bathroom. But living area, kitchen will be common. All three replies from girls. I didnt reply to posts by guys.
Best thing would be if we have same dress and shoe size :) One of them seem very excited and wrote a response back with 3 para :) I m going to see her place this weekend.

[Dannigirl]

Devil's advocate ........I would be careful, CL isn't always the safest place to do business with. If you have another friend that can go with you I would take them along. better to be safe than sorry.

[Lorileah]

Best thing would be if we have same dress and shoe size :)

I am going to change my answer because you just let something slip...you aren't looking for a roommate you are looking for a playmate or someone you can steal clothes from. I don't think YOU can be a roommate with a woman...you see everything as going to sex or dressing.

[Katey888]

Best thing would be if we have same dress and shoe size :)

OK - ask them about this and tell them you crossdress BEFORE they show you the apartment. If they have the same dress and shoe size, you are a lucky girl and should show your enthusiasm immediately. If they are still willing to show you the apartment and don't call 911 right away, you are on to a winner... :)

YMMV... :eek:

Katey x

[leonal123]

I am going to change my answer because you just let something slip...you aren't looking for a roommate you are looking for a playmate or someone you can steal clothes from. I don't think YOU can be a roommate with a woman...you see everything as going to sex or dressing.

Nothing like that. I am just looking for a good room mate. but i have had a few gg replied to my online profiles where they appreciate the clothes adn shoes adn asked me if they can borrow them. I felt warmth in their replies. Not looking for sex or anything. Just good frined who is open minded and would be awesome if she can help me with my femininity.

[CONSUELO]

As several replies have mentioned, tread carefully. You are right in approaching this as a "share" arrangement. I would focus on that. If you share well and get along then being dressed in the apartment might be OK. But again this is a sharing living arrangement and that is what you should focus on.

[kimdl93]

If they know the deal and are ok with it, then I see no reason not to share an apartment with a GG. Just don't assume they are going to be BFFs or give you makeup tips.

[Lori Kurtz]

One thing seemed significant to me. You said you only considered females as potential roommates. You might want to examine a little more deeply (just for yourself--you don't need to explain anything to us) why you made that choice. Why not also males, as long as they are not uncomfortable with your being a crossdresser? If your roommates are truly not more than just roommates--people who have a business arrangement that involves some consideration and accommodation to each other's unique personal characteristics and interests and behaviors--then I would think that it should make no difference to you whether any of your roommates are male or female. If there's some hidden agenda that you aren't sharing with your potential roommates, and maybe that you're not even fully aware of yet yourself, that could lead to problems later on.

[Tinkerbell-GG]

Just don't assume they are going to be BFFs or give you makeup tips.

Having shared with many, many other girls in my past life, I can say that over familiarity can fast breed fighting and contempt. We girls can be funny when confined together in the same living space. It can work out wonderfully...or you can end up wishing you'd found your own place.

I'd leave out the BFF stuff and clothing swap and just share communal rooms and conversation.

[Adriana Moretti]

I'd leave out the BFF stuff and clothing swap and just share communal rooms and conversation.

Bottom Line ......

[kimdl93]

Thanks guys :) Nah, its mostly for sharing apt. I will have separate room and bathroom. But living area, kitchen will be common. All three replies from girls. I didnt reply to posts by guys.
Best thing would be if we have same dress and shoe size :) One of them seem very excited and wrote a response back with 3 para :) I m going to see her place this weekend.

Ok, I think I got it. I see nothing wrong with sharing an apartment with a woman who is open to the idea. I do think that a bit of caution is merited, primarily because I have a fear that Craig's List has somewhat of a reputation for attracting predators. Please carefully vet the person and the location. For $10 you can run an online background check on the individual and you can check out the units and the neighborhood for local crime rates. Better safe than sorry.

[Beverley Sims]

Speaking from experience it was better for me to get three girls to come in with me and rent a house.
I never looked back.

[JessMe]

The FIRST qualities I would personally look for in a good roomie would be financial stability and common sense when it comes to yours, mine, and what we share as far as responsibilities and expectations. You're being open and honest about your CD'ing, which is great! ...but I would caution against making it your only deciding factor. Roommates can be successful roommates without really being friends (I have personally had roommates I hardly ever saw, much less been bff's with.)
...all of that being said, if she's cool with you dressing, AND has the other qualities that you need in a roommate, then go for it! ...in my personal experience, women tend to be more open-minded about things like gender and sexuality, etc. Just my $.02

[LelaK]

A few weeks ago, I replied to a live-in caregiving job ad on CL and was interviewed for it by 2 women. They checked my character references and then accepted me for the job. I didn't know at the time, but one of them lives in the next room. I told them after they accepted me that I crossdress and they were fine with it, but one said she probably wouldn't have accepted me if she'd known in advance. But she didn't ask about my lifestyle and I didn't think to mention it during the interview. It turned out the one who lives here is bi and kind of TG herself. So she is of course accepting. And she's a hairdresser. We went shopping together last week.

So, if you're lucky, you'll get a great housemate. It won't hurt to pray for wisdom in all situations either. After 4 months of looking for an affordable room in this area I finally lucked out, at least for a spell. I found that there's even an LGBT friendly church about 2 blocks from here, with 2 gay pastors and a TG pastor.

[lingerieLiz]

Be careful, but it can work. In my case it was land ladies. The first asked me to move when she found out. The second became a surrogate mother. She owned a beauty shop and coached me on dressing while doing my wigs. Her boyfriend became my surrogate dad who insisted my dates to come to the door. Both treated me as their daughter.

[Crystal Beth]

Might be good to take it slow at first. Try to strike up conversations while watching television and comment on clothes to guage her reaction

[Beverley Sims]

Many situations here, she might want a plaything that's hetro male.

Play it very straight rembering what Lorileah has said, the advive from Katey, washing up and hygiene from both sides, do you need to share?
If you get what you want I think it may be fantasy fulfilled but otherwise forget the idea.

[Crystal Beth]

PM me the neighborhood you are moving to. I have lived in the city for years and can tell you some ins and outs of the area you are locating to

[JayeLefaye]

Bottom Line ......

I'll third this! Your original question was if sharing an apt. with a GG was a good idea, but since you only replied back to GGs, then whether or not it's a "good " idea isn't really a question, is it?

The best housemates are non- intrusive and have a sincere respect of boundaries. Please, for your future housemate's sake, keep that in mind.

Best

Jaye

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Leonal, It would depend on the lady.

[sometimes_miss]

Remember that most people believe that we are all gay. So make sure that the women know that you are straight. Some may not want to share a home with a straight guy.

[docrobbysherry]

Anyone that would pick a room mate sight unseen is asking for BIG TROUBLE in my experience.:eek:

That goes for both u AND them!

[raleighbelle]

I have to agree with a lot of the comments above. This sounds like a potential dream come true, but could also be a nightmare come true. Make sure your expectations are realistic. I can see this much better if you knew the roommate at least somewhat prior to moving in. I would not get too aggressive with the dressing at first (by that I mean asking to use some of her clothes, asking for makeup help or to borrow things, etc). If she warms up to all this, she may start getting more involved with it, but don't push it all on her. Some of those replies may have taken you as you presented that you were looking for a roommate and is the dressing okay with them, rather than looking for a coach and tutor who is intimately involved with all this. Another concern I would have is that these are by definition most likely single women and they will likely be bringing dates home from time to time, sometimes unannounced. How are those guys going to respond to all this? I know how it should be, but reality could be rather uncomfortable.

[sarahcsc]

To share an apartment with a girl is probably just as risky as a guy. In fact, I'd say the safest place is a place without humans.

You just need to be open minded, realistic, and test the waters. But most of all, expect the best, but prepare for the worst.

Play it by ear and always draw your boundaries so you know where you stand.

You can blur the boundaries a bit later when you are closer with them.

Love,
Sarah

[Andrea Chenowith]

Anyone that would pick a room mate sight unseen is asking for BIG TROUBLE in my experience.:eek:

That goes for both u AND them!

YES!

I was in a similar situation in 2004, when I took an internship in the DC area. I originally made an online connection (through a message board on a shared interest, not on CL) that seemed awesome. I had a bedroom and bathroom all to myself, and we shared kitchen space but I had my own refrigerator/freezer. The first month (January), it was okay, because I spent a lot of time leaving early and staying late because of the workload in the office and trying to both familiarize myself with the team I was working for and make a dent in the media guide that we were producing. However, by the end of February, I was looking for a new apartment, because I was never able to USE the kitchen space because the homeowners never cleaned up. One day I could smell the filth from the kitchen when I stepped in the front door.

And my second roommate experience in DC is a cautionary tale in keeping your expectations in check. I roomed with a girl I knew (and had extreme interest in as a relationship - or just sex - partner) from school, only to find that her interests swung outside of what I could provide. (Mostly lesbian, but sprinkled with a bit of daddy issues.)

But I did like her taste in underwear. (She dropped a pair while folding them in the living room, and I couldn't resist trying them on. Still have them to this day..)

[Annaliese]

Why not, there fine with it, you will be just one of the girl, plus they will feel safer with you being your self, this is a win win for everyone. Be classes about it, it may start out as amusing or curiosity but could turn into a good friend, the other option is to get male room mate and have to hide your self