A little nervous

[samantha rogers]

I have a dinner engagement tonight...burgers and beer, most likely. Im a little nervous.
I never became close friends with many guys in my life. I now understand why. Regular guys always exascerbated my GID...I was always afraid they would somehow guess I was not really one of them. As a result, I can count on one hand the guys I have considered as really close friends over my entire life. And two of them are now deceased.
But tonight I am seeing one for dinner. I have not seen him in over a year.
Now, as Isha once observed about me "there isnt much boy left", not these days. Still, Im going in what passes for drab with me these days.
And Im nervous.
I am going to let him know.
I am wondering exactly how to bring up the topic...."Hey guy...good to see you, lets grab a beer. By the way, Im transgender. Hey how about the game on Saturday?"
I dont think, somehow that is the best approach...lol
Anyone had experience with this type of conversation? Of course you have, some of you...
I am wondering if I will still have that good friend tomorrow.
Advice?

[Rhonda Jean]

I think I'd wait and see if he asks. There's your opening. Otherwise I don't see any point in telling him. I think your appearance will probably say all you need to say.

[Annaliese]

If he is a good friend today, he will be tomorrow, there a good chance he will have seen this side of you, if he is this good of a friend, and it will make sense to him, be your self

[Ann Smith]

You might look at this way, Samantha --- If you embark on this conversation, you are in the position of needing to tell your two things. One is simple: I am CD / TG and I have this deep, pretty interesting feminine self. That you could probably say fairly simply and straightforwardly. The other information you are on the hook for is to explain about TG-ness. You will be his only frame of reference. We all have such a developed understanding of the crossdresser life and lifestyle, we can forget that other people are almost devoid of information about it. The second part of what you would be telling your friend is a long, deep dive. For example, he will be thinking at some point that you want to have a physical encounter with him. That's pretty natural, when the info base is minimal. So, two downloads, and I'd imagine you have to be ready to do a seminar for the guy. Unless he freaks out and leaves.

[Jaylyn]

I would just let it come up after y'all have had a few beers to take any edge off. Also why do you feel the need to tell him? If he's a true friend he'll accept you if not then to heck with him.... Now remember this advice is coming from someone who is not out... Lol I would imagine you will be answering a lot of questions if you tell him.

[Melissa in SE Tn]

Sam, you are the queen of being yourself. Be yourself... Enough said. Much peace, mel

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

If he is a friend before he will be a friend afterwards, be yourself and good luck.

[Madilyn A.]

Sami, You will find out if he is a good friend. If anyone can handle this, it's you. Given your natural appearance which will be more feminine than all but some of the GGs the subject will be raised. You will feel so relieved afterwards, I promise. If for any reason it doesn't go well, you have lost nothing and you will still continue on your life journey. Good luck.

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Sammie,
Your a smart person, and I'm sure you will handle this situation.
The replies of "if he was a true friend before you tell him" are BS!
Anyone hearing this sort of reveal is bound to freak out.

However you decide to break the news, I would include what you said...
"I can count on one hand the guys I have considered as really close friends".

So here's another plan. Line up 4 shots. Tell him you have something to tell him,
but he has to take a shot with you before you do. Immediately after it's down, tell him.
He will either stick around for another shot, or run and you will be left with 2 more shots
to drown your sorrows.

I hope it all goes well for you Sammie.
Much Love,
Kristyn

[samantha rogers]

Thanks, girls...well...here we go...lol

[Julie Denier]

Good luck, Sammie! ;)

[Annaliese]

Hugs girl, let me know

[Brynna M]

good luck. :)

[Alice Torn]

Be ready for anything, with courage and kindness.

[Ressie]

I guess it's too late to offer any worthless advice here ;) Bringing this up to a male is something I haven't done. Too scary!

[Dana does shopping]

Nothing about this meeting should change "who you are". I say paint that face girl, hike those puppies & show him that You are still the 'person' he always knew ...

[Adriana Moretti]

let us know how it goes......my guess it will be fine..but what do I know ....how could he NOT like you...

[samantha rogers]

Omg....omg...I cant stop crying...he was ****ing amazing...it was as though I told him I had gotten a tattoo...lol...I am so frigging blessed...the friends I have among all of you, the girls I know locally, my wife, and now this...he listened, chuckled once or twice, listened, nodded, got it totally, and we parted stiññ best friends..omg...I am sitting in my car crying...from happiness...from sheer unaduñterated happiness. I am so blessed. Oh God...I need a kleenex in the worst way. He was happy for me...

[Jorja]

Well, by now the beans have been spilled. Let us know how it went.

We must have been posting about the same time Sammie. Glad things worked out.

[Adriana Moretti]

Yay !!! I knew it...............

[Lori Kurtz]

Wonderful news. Congratulations!

[KellyJameson]

You have a very loving spirit Samantha that people respond to.

Don't underestimate how important being genuine is to those who know there is nothing without it.

[Julie Denier]

How wonderful! So happy for you - a true friend indeed ;)

[Jamie Christopher]

Really happy for you Sam; I had thought it would be fine because you said you two were (are) close friends, and this is what friends do. Great news, yay!.

Jamie

[GretchenJ]

You have a very loving spirit Samantha that people respond to.

Don't underestimate how important being genuine is to those who know there is nothing without it.

Could have not said it better myself, people are your friend (those who are smart) , for who you are, not how you look or how you present.

Could not be more happier for you, you are a good soul, and those who know you are privileged to be your friend.

[Alice Torn]

You are very fortunate!

[Melissa in SE Tn]

Sami, you continue to be blessed. With much respect, mel

[Michellegryl]

Sammie I am soooo happy for you, I got choked up just reading how happy you are. you are a wonderful person and I am sure he knows that. He also sounds like a great person and a terrific friend.

Hugs
Michelle

[samantha rogers]

Thanks to all of you.
I am a little calmer now, lol
It was a great night. I could not have asked for things to go any better. Still, i am under no illusions. I picked this friend to speak with first because my instinct was that he would react well (though I was nowhere near prepared for how well) I am well aware that as I have more of these discussions they will not all go so well.
Still, as a trial run...well it was awesome. Thanks to all of you for holding my hand tonight.
You girls are quite simply the best.

[raleighbelle]

Glad it worked out so well! I think people gave good advice, and it sounds like you acted like you and for a real friend that doesn't change that much. What a weight off your shoulders, eh?

Just a side note to Sandra Michelle...{"I want to be this girl!"}...and I want to be your identical twin!

[Katey888]

Glad it went well Sammie... :hugs:

In all honesty, I could have predicted it should have - like Adriana said, how could he not like and respect you for the person you are, regardless of gender... :D

Hope it all goes as well...

:cool:

Katey x

[Marcelle]

Hi Sammie,

A little late to this thread but I knew it would go well as "you are you" and your friend would have seen that. I would say that most of my friends are hard Alpha male and with the exception of one I have not lost a single friend along the way. Keep being your amazing self and things will be fine.

Hugs

Isha

[Eringirl]

So great Sammi ! Good on ya! Bet you had a great sleep last night knowing that you have such great friends and family supporting you.

Erin

[kimdl93]

That's wonderful, Sammie. The world is full of surprises, isn't it?

[samantha rogers]

Just a post script...I texted him this morning. Told him it meant a lot to me...here is what he texted back....We are friends for life. Count on it. Lets meet there again with family members. "
Im crying again...lol

[mykell]

sammy you pick your friends well,
thats the sweetest post i think ive seen here,
christmas has come early for you....such a nice gift....

[donnalee]

I'm so happy for you!

[Isabella Ross]

Wow. Like others who responded, couldn't help shedding a tear when I read this. Our world is changing...slowly, perhaps. But changing.