nature or nurture?

[ashleymcculloch90]

I am trying to understand why I feel more like a woman than a man. Was I born with it, or was it the fact that I was raised by all women? I assume it's different for everyone. But at the same time maybe somebody has more input then none at all(my current status) I plan to start therapy after Christmas, not to stop but to finally understand and hopefully be able to give myself and my wife some answers.

[Dianne S]

I think I can summarize the current state of knowledge in three words: Nobody really knows.

This question comes up time and again and plenty of people have theories, but it always comes down to: Nobody really knows.

I believe there is often a biochemical reason for transgenderism, but like everything else in life there's probably no simple answer. I think we need to get past the "Why am I like this?" question and move on to the "OK, I'm like this, now what can I do to be happy?" question.

[GeauxStacy]

Ashley - I think all of us have questioned that at some point. I believe it may be a little of both, but I think that something inside of us clicks at some point and whatever we do we cannot fight it. You have to do what makes you happy. I used to think there was something wrong with me. Did I want to full transition or not? Was I gay, bi, or straight? Was there something wrong with my brain? I stepped back and did some soul searching and came to the point I am at now. I am happy being just me which means I will not transition all the way. There are aspects of both male and female I enjoy. I am straight and that there is nothing wrong with me. Once you step back and do some soul searching and find out the answer for you, whatever that may be, accept it and be happy. :)

[ashleymcculloch90]

I'm already at that point, I love being fem. But that dose not stop the whys? Lol to ask questions is how we learn and it's also how we can explain it more clearly to our loved ones. :)❤

[Annaliese]

I was born with it, being raised by all woman, might of enhanced what was all ready there for you.

[Melanie Z]

Ah, the age old nature/nurture question... I often wonder why and I'm no closer to a good answer now than I have ever been. I think it's probably a combination of factors - there may be genetics that we don't understand that predispose us to it, but I think a lot of it probably has to do with neurochemistry and the development of the brain both in the womb and as a child. I think there may be a complicated nuture factor to it, too, but it's not as simple as being dressed in girl's clothes when you're young - that just can't make you a crossdresser or transgender. Perhaps what you learn about gender from your family as a child has something to do with it, but, as Dianne said, nobody really knows.

[Marcelle]

Hi Ashely,

This question crops up here quite a bit and there are several working hypotheses out there but as Dianne aptly said . . . "Nobody really knows". I might recommend using the forum search function to review a few of the former posts to get an understanding of what is out there in the scientific literature.

Hugs

Isha

[PaulaQ]

Current best scientific evidence is that we are born this way, that transness is a developmental issue in utero.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Spend enough time reading and asking questions here Ashley and you might not need to go to the expense of therapy. But it's natural to want to understand ourselves better, so maybe it's what you need.

Suppose male and female are no more accurate as terms to describe our sexes, than black and white are accurate terms to describe a rainbow. It doesn't stop many people from seeing various emotive issues in black and white terms, and how dumb (and limiting) is that?

Suppose our sexes are fluid, to a degree, rather than fixed - just look what happens to water when it's frozen or boiled. We think we know 'water', but our concept of water is based entirely on observing the stuff between 0 and 100 degrees Celcius. I could throw a pint of water at you and you'd soon dry off. But if I threw a pint of ice at you and it hit you on the back of the neck, it might kill you.

What I'm getting at is that perhaps you feel more like a woman because you are more like a woman?

Sure, being raised by women may have contributed to your ability to relate to women, to feel like women feel; but it could just as easily be argued that being raised by women (and possessing a penis) might have made you feel more manly, more the classic spear-throwing protector-of-women.

You seem to have your feet on the ground- I remember thinking that about your first post. You aren't hiding from or suppressing your feelings, and you seem responsible and caring in your marriage. What ever happens, the worst thing to do would be to drive your feelings underground. It might make daily life simpler for a while, but sure as eggs is eggs, you'd be stockpiling trouble for the future.

I think it may be your wife who needs to come to terms with your gender-fluidity, over the years ahead, more than you.

[Katie Russell]

Hi Ashley

If you want a scientific explanation try this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FuahzV12mi0 and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTBg6hqeuTg. These are only theories as still more research needs to be done and I'm afraid that as we are only a small minority of the population so it's not high on many peoples agenda. I guess the 'nobody knows' is the correct answer but at least these theories give some understanding. They make sense to me.

Also look at this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOkyc91eY90

Katie