clocked myself today, kinda bummed myself out....

[mykell]

so been trying to get the brows too look better, got all gussied up and tried glue layers with powder, never tried it that way, all made up, wig, dressed, tripod, camera, change into a christmas sort of outfit later, downstairs i go, into the living room past the hall mirror, WTF, who is that old lady with the pancake makeup and wrinkles, holly #@$%, thats how i look, i thought i had better makeup skills than that, had just purchased a bronzer from ulta and found a gel brow sculptor from maybeline which i was very disappointed with as is looked to work extremely well in the commercials, maybe its why ulta did not have them in stock, so i go to the glue, now until then i have been prepared to get out into the vanilla world as i thought ive gotten fairly good with makeup and toned down my 30 something look. was looking to get some christmas themed photos together....well i quit, got upset with myself kept looking at myself and questioned why do i want this....

so i ran upstairs and took everything off and showered, has this happened to anyone else, it made for an uncomfortable photo opp to say the least,
now im second guessing my plans to venture out, surely i need more practice or i need to keep my glasses off....would not have liked any comments if i had ventured out like that....the brows were the least of my disappointment this time..

anyone else ever had this happen..

[JayeLefaye]

Well shucks, Mikell, I feel that way even in guy mode half the time:-)

We live, we practice, we learn...We're thankful we can do it all in private.

Jaye

[Debra Russell]

....learned a long time age - less is more = wear glasses of some kind and "old lady with pancake make up and wrinkles" is better than eek man in a dress:D................................Debra

[docrobbysherry]

U r NOT alone, Mikell.
I was so depressed looking at myself in the mirror after my first year of serious dressing, I was ready to quit.

Then, out of despiration I tried on a mask. That was 17 years ago. I wear them every time I dress at home and am very pleased with my appearance.

Of course, I can't wear them out without freaking out everyone who sees me. And, without them I'm simply an old man in a dress. A look I absolutely HATE!

The result is I can only pass sometimes on Halloween. U r NOT alone!:sad:

[michelleddg]

Hi Mickell, this has happened to me, oh, perhaps a zillion times. But, not to worry, it's not a CD thing, GG's go through similar all the time as well. (Not that I know this through personal experience, of course, it's merely an observation.)

My recommendation is to go to the nearest MAC Counter (or Ulta or Sephora or the like) and invest in a professional makeover. It will make your day to see how pretty you are, it will demonstrate your ultimate potential, it will give you valuable tips and tricks, and it will help you when you doll yourself up and don't see Sophia Loren looking back at you in the mirror. Thinks: "Dang, getting older, don't see Sophia Loren looking back at me but, heck, it sure beats the alternatives!"

Hugs, Michelle

[JayeLefaye]

Hi Mickell, this has happened to me, oh, perhaps a zillion times. But, not to worry, it's not a CD thing, GG's go through similar all the time as well. (Not that I know this through personal experience, of course, it's merely an observation.)

Hugs, Michelle

I'm gonna confirm, Michelle, that your observation is spot-on, regardless of personal experience!!

Here is a quote that my wife has heard several times in beauty salons: Guys are so lucky. All they have to do is put on a hat and a pair of sunglasses and they're out the door.

Editor's note: My wife is 50+ and everyone thinks she's in her 40's...Why? Because she has a daily routine that she has carried on for 30 years(& in her professional capacity it now comes in as being "worth it")....That "routine" involves 20 minutes every morning, and 20 minutes every night, applying skin care products...NOT applying make-up! Just applying skin care products, that she has to continually adjust depending on which companies don't test on animals, and then Googling to find out which suppliers who advertise
"Not tested on animals" but LIE in the "fine print"....She spends hours on-line doing research.....But I don't mind, because she always orders a double set of Products(hers & his). And that's just for "Skin care"...:-)

And then every day...Every single frickin' day, she has to spend 30 minutes getting her make-up right and HOPING for a good hair day before she can go to work.

But getting back to Mickell(love ya Babe!!, and sorry for the ramble)

In an effort to bring some perspective, and to explain my general attitude, here's a Life Lesson I learned back in 1992 from a co-worker:

He was 6'1", 250 pounds. Was a lineman on Ohio State's football team. Worked his way through college as a bouncer at a biker bar...In other words, he was one tough SOB when I knew him when he was 25...And at 25, he decided to get a very detailed tattoo...On his bicep, which isn't even a "tender" spot...

The tattoo took a little/long while, and half way through, he started laughing. The (cute young) gal doing the tattoo asked him why he was laughing?

His response: Because I'm too f---ng old to cry.

On the other hand, a good cry can do wonders!!!...Just so long as it gets the pain and whining out of our systems:-)

Jaye

[kimdl93]

I once had a makeover by a local transformation artist. It just wasn't for me. The makeup felt 1/8th inch thick, and my mouth and brows were drawn onto what seemed a blank white slate. I got home and washed it all off, and went back to my very basic, light makeup. I was shocked with the heavy make up and contrived features, and in contrast much happier with my real appearance.

[Adriana Moretti]

I tried the brow glue thing too....and diddnt like the look either and felt the same way....its very DRAG looking and cakey....i tried it a few times and opted to do the best with what i was given to work with...I have also had my share of bad days before too...i just shake it off and say "Ok whatever I did...it wasnt working for me...I need to try again"....maybe a new method? or a new product. I know cremes work better than powders on our aging skin ( they are more forgiving) and "less is more" is a good motto to try and live by. What works for some people may not always work for your skin....did you use a primer? Primers are good too especially for pores.....

[Katey888]

Don't sweat it Mikell - just go back to what you know works for you before you try something new again... :)

I was just today looking at some of the pics I posted almost a year ago when I was full of enthusiasm about the possibility of sharing 'me' for the first time with all of 'you'... boy, was I myopic and the makeup wasn't far behind... :eek: Had a few goofs since then too so it happens to all of us... think of it as getting all your bad makeup errors over in one sitting - next time will be perfect! :cheer:

And when you get a look you think is right for an outing, just stick with it - refine it maybe, but don't change it - feeling comfortable is a big part of being relaxed and enjoying this weird thing... :cool:

Katey x

[JerseyGirlDonna]

Mikell, I've been there, and sometimes I find myself there again...
We are all our own worst critic, so don't feel pressed. Everything comes with practice and confidence.

[Ressie]

Yes, makeup is usually disappointing for me. It turns out best to use it sparingly. More than that is pretty much experimenting with the stuff. A couple of weeks ago I gave myself big, dark eyebrows - yech! And eyeliner always looks like it was drawn on by a child!

[TerriM]

Michelle is right. Go to a cosmetic counter and get a good makeover. Tell the beautician you are not looking for the Hollywood look. Then go home and practice. I love playing with makeup. Just wish I had more time alone at home to do it.

[JayeLefaye]

....glasses of some kind.....Debra

Actually, glasses are great! I bought a pair of(non-prescription-cosmetic only) glasses a few years ago because I got tired of spending more time trying to get my eyes "right" than I spent on everything else combined. Best $5.00 I ever spent!!! As far as the brows go, I get mine professionally waxed once a month because I don't have time to pluck and pluck and oh f..k pluck some more:-)

Jaye

[Ally 2112]

Im sure most of us have days like this including myself .Some days everthing just seems to click others not so much just don't be to hard on yourself

[Christina Alice]

....learned a long time age - less is more = wear glasses of some kind and "old lady with pancake make up and wrinkles" is better than eek man in a dress:D................................Debra

I agree totally with you on this. Being of 'a certain age', The wrinkles around the eyes are the worst part and can't really be disguised with make-up but a pair of feminine glasses (I wear specs anyway) does a lot to take the viewer's eyes off yours a bit. As you get older and facial hair gets whiter, the beard gets easier to hide. Also, dressing your age helps - miniskirts look awful on older GGs so they won't look any better on older CDs. The main thing is to feel comfortable in yourself

[mykell]

so my apologies for the "woe is me" thread today, and it was the dude in bad makeup that got me, the brows didnt work, but the wrinkles were at the cheeks and mouth, the eyes not so bad, ive always thought that once out in the sun with the right lighting i would look so much better, downstairs is brighter than my upstairs...so i had a pity party and quit like a baby, thanks for not blasting me and giving the support and positive comments.

after i went shopping for some gifts for christmas and the local home cheapo and big box costco... got in line to get gas before i went home....while waiting for the fill up turned up the tunes to enjoy the song on the radio.... after the attendant makes a remark about how old it makes him feel to here van halen....(song on the radio), and he goes on to say that song is thirty years old....thanks just what i needed.....

[Sarah Doepner]

Mikell,

Sometimes I will finish my makeup and say "Wow! You did that great." and 20 minutes later look in the mirror to congratulate myself once again and all I see is an old guy wearing makeup. I don't know how it happens, but it does. Other times it goes the other way, so don't beat yourself up (or let others beat you up either) and just do the things that make you happy.

And if the person at the check out says the tune you are listening to makes them feel old, it sounds like they have a problem, not you. Although I do have to look back a long way to remember going to the after-party when my buddy Beethoven released that last symphony.

[Beverley Sims]

I have discoveredthis myself often.
Get made up, looking perfect.
In my dreams...... Back to the wash basin. :)

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Mikell, Sometimes with makeup less is more, The right wig and a large pair of glasses does wonders.

[Allisa]

Love your avatar, now on to the subject at hand,never liked my look after my make-up tries than went with less and came to the conclusion that I was just not young anymore and own my look for my age, not as good as a GG would do but than I don't have their features so... also the lighting can change your look in a heart beat so I go for a happy medium. I moisturize twice daily to keep my facial skin smooth and fight the lines, plus it makes it glow under a thin layer of foundation and powder, eyebrows are shaped somewhat and thinned and trimmed but not to any extreme maybe just the slightest hint of coloring. Eyes are my bane, darn droopy lids. Well good luck in your endeavors for that look your after, keep on truckin' down that highway.

[LelaK]

I've always been disappointed with my face, but my body looks great in a sexy dress. I ignore my face. My female housemate is okay with how I look. I'm starting to meet TGs while dressed at a support group. So I hope I'm getting used to my low face score, but I plan to work on improving my face, by getting a makeover. If that fails, I'm thinking of hiding most of my face or disguising it nicely, maybe with body paint or something.

[Robin414]

Wow, ive been there girlfriend! We all have bad days for sure. I'm beginning to believe the less is more philosophy myself. I'm slowly moving from androgynous to crossing the line right now and I think it's working for me. Get your body and mannerisms in place first and be comfortable with that, the androgynous approach helps for me at least a lot. Then work on the face...sunglasses and a good wig are good cover as well. In the end though I've come to realize it's about how I feel more than how I look.. If I 'feel' like a woman then I've succeeded, hey I'm not trying to get laid after all! :)

[Marcelle]

Hi Mikell,

I think we can all sympathize with you on this one. Unless you happened to have won the TG genetic lottery or are still very young . . . well lets just say, skin doesn't stay where it should after a certain age and it doesn't matter if you are a GM or GG. Added to this is our zeal to appear "feminine" which once again is difficult as we are guys with guy facial features, beard shadow and what not. Not trying to be a big downer but it is true. However, we also tend to be our own worst critics when it comes to how we looks as we scrutinize every aspect of our job. I asked my wife when I first started going to be brutally frank about my appearance and she has never held back. So imagine my surprise when I thought I did a great job I get the "not good" and vice versa when I think I did a bad job I get the "thumbs up".

As others have said "less is best" but then again that holds if you have limited facial hair. Hiding dark beard shadow is an art form and sometimes a quick shave, a bit of red, light foundation won't cut it. So we end up with multiple layers. I think where it goes wrong is blending up into the areas that don't require foundation (e.g., around the eyes) . . . here I find concealer matched to the foundation works best as it does not appear cakey. However, the one thing I have learned is that if the make-up is natural looking (within the confines of what we can do) most people won't bat an eye when you go out as they are not studying you in close detail.

Hugs

Isha

[Tina B.]

It happens, on days I feel that way, I just stay away from mirrors, I always know next time will be better.
Some days I look in the mirror, and see a tired old man, but other days, pink fog not withstanding I see an old tired woman. On those later days I like the mirror!

[Melanie B]

Mikell, I'm so sorry to hear that.

I think a lot of us set ourselves impossibly high targets, and then beat ourselves up for not reaching them.

Last week, my SO took a sneaky picture of me on her camera phone when we were out Xmas shopping. In my defence, we'd been out all day, on our feet for about 6 hours, and it was bitterly cold outdoors. So instead of the elegant lady I would have liked to present as, her photo shows an unusually tall, overweight middle-aged woman, whose hair needs brushing and whose make up needs refreshing -- or wiping off and starting again!

But no-one laughed at us or shouted rude remarks (not even the groups of teenage girls), and we weren't asked to leave any shops or refused service in the restaurant or coffee bar.

And the important thing -- and the only reason I am prepared to let anyone else see this awful photo -- is because although I wasn't "smiling for the camera", I've got the biggest grin on my face that I've seen in any photo of me taken in the last 40 years or more!

It doesn't matter if you don't think you're perfect on the outside... it's what you feel on the inside that counts.

[LelaK]

I think a lot of us set ourselves impossibly high targets, and then beat ourselves up for not reaching them.
Near perfection isn't an impossible goal. Is it? I don't beat myself up for having my ideals. I'd be more likely to beat myself up if I let go of my ideals.

[Sarina Curtis]

I feel like that probably 80% of the time I put on make up. It's a learning curve though and I'll keep practicing until I get it right, or I find someone who will help. I'd love to find a salon that is CD friendly, but I wouldn't know where to begin here in Japan. I give you full credit for being brave enough to go out period. I'm still a long way away from that...

[Melanie B]

Near perfection isn't an impossible goal. Is it? I don't beat myself up for having my ideals. I'd be more likely to beat myself up if I let go of my ideals.I'm 59, 6ft 3, and 230lb. OK, I could lose some more weight, but I am physically incapable of making myself shorter or younger. So yes, for me (and many others here) conventional "perfection" is an impossible goal -- just as it is for many GGs.
My target has to be lower than my ideal, otherwise I'd never stand a chance of hitting it. So I aim to pass as a normal middle aged woman, rather than as a thirty-something yummy mummy.
Sometimes, believe it or not, I achieve that target. Most of the time I think I blend -- that is certainly what my SO tells me when we've been out together. But l'm a human being, so I make mistakes, and I live in the real world where it is sometimes cold/rainy/windy, so if my make-up is smudged, my wig is tangled, or my voice breaks occasionally, that's just life -- just as it is for GGs.
Worrying about things that can't be changed is counterproductive... and kept me closeted and misertable for far too long!

[GeauxStacy]

Mikell - I went through the same thing awhile back. I agree with a lot of girls here that we can be our own worst critics and I think we have an image of the perfect woman inside of us. Our mind has this picture of a perfect girl and when we see ourselves it can be far from perfect. I dressed the other day, and looked in the mirror and thought, damn you look great Stacy, took some photos. When I took a look at the pictures later, I realized for the first time, wow Stacy is a good looking woman. It was the first time I did not say you need to work on this or that and need to improve your makeup or something else. I actually loved the woman in those photos. :) I do not have 20 something skin and could lose some weight, but for 44, I think Stacy looks great, wrinkles and all. :)

[Krististeph]

two long slow deep breaths--- first answer to almost everything.

This is why we call it "makeup"- it's just changing the you that is there- it take a lot of practice. And if you go by the still photos in magazines- you need to realize these are still shots of models who spend their livelihoods trying to look "good".

IMO half of them fail.

Start with a smile, and work on the face from there-- a little powder foundation, make the eyes more interested looking- alert- bright. a little highlight of the lips

I have not done makeup in months- yet i'm still buying... it may also come and go in stages- i think a lot of it is frame of mind.

but i'm serious about the smile- think of the fact that despite all that has happened, you are male, etc etc. you get to try to look female for a change- that's a fun thing, right? Don't worry about the final result yet, just think about a few effective changes you can make. do them and think about it- find the happiness that you can make a difference. that's the smile and expression that will make you look the best.

And no one can take that from you- you made a difference in the direction you wanted. You cannot change everything - but you can move in the direction you want- use that to find some measure of enjoyment and build on that.

I think of my 95 year old neighbor- sweet lady- strong, active- she looks best w/o makeup because her real person comes out. When she is workign on something- figuring out the dish network setup- her mind is active and sharp- her features reflect it- looks a lot more 'beautiful' than any makeup she puts on.

So maybe try contouring rather than covering- show the energy of the person who get sh=uch a kick out of being able to dress up and add a few touches.

Hope this helps, i have to reset myself sometimes too...

[LelaK]

I used to like to keep score when playing ping-pong. I guess at that time I was approaching my best form. Later I preferred just to fool around while playing the game. Didn't feel like bothering to keep score. Liked to try a lot of different things. Left-handed. Put the paddle down spin around and pick it up again before hitting the ball. Hit the ball with the handles instead of the paddles.

Maybe beauty can be a game too. Sometimes you can try to approach your top form. Other times you can fool around and just have fun. I don't know if there's an ideal for having fun. Or an ideal for being creative or original.

[Adriana Moretti]

I find concealer matched to the foundation works best as it does not appear cakey. However, the one thing I have learned is that if the make-up is natural looking (within the confines of what we can do) most people won't bat an eye when you go out as they are not studying you in close detail.



I think this is an important part some CD's slip up on......my foundation stops at the lower cheecks....and its concealer the rest of the way up my face till under my eye which is then an even LIGHTER concealer ......no reason for foundation anywhere near your eyes at all.

Isha's giving away all the secrets......but seriously whenever I mention that to girls the lightbulb goes on.....

[DeeDeeB]

Mikell,

I'm all in with Melanie B. I'm happy with a 50 something look which I can usually pull off (I'm 68). But you are your own worst critic as are we all. Do your best and I'm guessing either no one will know, or no one will care that you are not dressing as your birth gender. In my case, I'm happy if no one cares. At 6' 5" in heels I don't expect to pass completely. I go with minimal makeup - powder, eyes and lipstick. So far, no problems.

Hugs,
DeeDee :fairy1:

[Jenniferathome]

Mikell, of course! I try different techniques from time to time and once in awhile the result is less than flattering. Learn from it :-)